Heckate

             PAY ATTENTION and throw out serious inormation to attract one of us. DO NOT SEND or BRING HER MONEY or Gift Cards. A rose is nice but doesn't mean you're real or submissive, just gracious.

1. Tell us how you would serve-do you want to just enjoy a fetish or are you really submissive?
2. Do not send impersonal copies to multiple Dommes. It is a turn off to know the sub didn't think we are special enough to even read or remember it.
3. Send real life info about you. NOT JUST SEXUAL information.
4. A nice pic of you, not a butt plug or you in panties or your dick. It says alot about you to be respectful of her boundaries. 
5. Be honest. 
6. Describe What you can do,
7.  Say How often you can meet or attend to a relationship and limitations.
8. LIST in your introduction Real life (vanilla) interests, since you may have to be interesting to her. Your version of the fantasy is nice but should only be in the interests section or if she asks.
9. Good Luck .

Service is doing what you can to make the Dommes life better. When a submissive is seeking a connection and finds a Dominant, the first words they may say is that they like being of service or they want to serve a Domme. When asked what it is about service that they enjoy it tends to boil down to "sex and play". There is far more to service than the play, and believe me, there are submissives that don't even play but find fulfillment in service. . Sometimes it includes driving her somewhere, cleaning, doing some activities she enjoys or requests and whatever is her desire.

 I seek a submissive...

TO SUB OR TO BOTTOM?

I have often found that many so-called submissive gentlemen expect a Domina to cater to their whims. These aren’t submissives. How do I know? A submissive desires to please the Dominatrix, and through that service he is fulfilled. A sub enjoys actual service to the Domme, whereas a “bottom” just wants to be the one tied up and get all the fun stuff done to him. The Domme tends to be a prop in his fantasy—a simple facilitator. He wants a service provider, not a dominant woman. Know the difference. Don’t pretend to be submissive when you’re actually a bottom. Some of you guys just want a little fun. Make sure you know what kind of lady you’re dealing with. To some of us this is a way of life. We don’t take kindly to men coming in and trying to dictate our scenes to us.

I am not currently seeking a submissive for my use or play.

Just back from a wonderful weekend kink event. Makes me remember all the more how much I love this lifestyle. A joyous weekend of folks of all shades of BDSM sharing and being truly who they want to be in the confines of a safe environment.

Have a great end of summer.   Avoid any person who wants money to take your gift of surrender. If you want a moment or a lifetime, be patient. You will find what you want. You do not pay anyone to take what you give for free.

Yard Slaves? Come hither.

If you think you really want someone, go for it...If they are fake and after your cash back off. If all they want is you, then stay on the mark and go for it. Get her attention. Be polite and don't give up. Show her you are serious and ardent. One liners and "hellos" say nothing about you and your intent. MH

This is one of those days when the desire to play outweighs my saner choices......MH

DO NOT SEND a pic a pic of your bits nor a pic of you bent over exposing your ass. I do not know any Dommes who find that alluring in an introductory  photo.

MH

I have no position open in my home or in only house service and no interest in subs who have no freedom to be used with reasonable frequency. I would also enjoy it to have someone available to attend some social functions in the lifestyle , if they are comfortable. Do not just say "HI' . Be serious about what you offer and sane. I do not want to waste my time engaging in chat to no end. It takes time to have trust and any connection.

The entry I made on 5/7 has had a huge response . Thank you to all who wrote and noted their overwelming concern for privacy and safety here. Please don't expect I can respond to everyone. If you have a desire to explore my interest in your submission to me, I will try , however.

A picture assures nothing. Privacy does not equal dishonesty.

I do know that trust goes a long way and also hear ,sadly, about the liars and deceit that is spread through trying to become part of one's own fantasy. This site is befret with the game playing and lies consistant with what I have seen in 13 years of on line discussion of play on a personal level.

 There are so many of the kink community that want so much to dabble in this or have a real time contact. Some of want it so badly that they lie about their circumstances. They lie to be more acceptable and to remake themselves as they imagine they should be to keep attention of a Dom/me or sub.  There are also those with the best intentions and have panic at the last minute and never follow through on plans and activity...all kinds of tender trys at their idenity as a kinkster and terror about who they really are. Some fall in too deep and can't be honest .

Live and let live folks. There is nothing that we signed that says "we swear to tell the truth"...ahhh cyber fantasy is so easy. The dishonesty is a painful thing and can crash a blossoming kinkster into a cold reality about selfishness. The real time kink community I play in has no gurantees and no necessity to dig to deep into someones life unless they contract to do so.

This is the cyber world here folks. Sometimes what you see and hear is truth, sometimes its just not true and is what someone needs to say/present to get a dabble of kink.

For accountability, Ask for references.  I give them (and some subs do check) and Dommes and subs who are new need to say they have none. They need to take it slow. It helps keep us safe.  Meet to contract first. Meet in public. Meet at a munch. Make a seperate account to have e mail privacy. . . . This is ultimately about trust and risk.  Be trustworthy. Be safe. Be conscious and careful. "No" is a complete sentence. We will set the tone for trust. Not with a picture but with our actions. MH

CAUTION FOLKS:As I have gotten to know a sub or two here,  I have been shocked that they would risk their great careers and family with a picture posted here. I know they are not thinking how facial recoginition software will continue to be used to find the job applicant, the nanny, the future husband (whatever roles apply),in scans of the website and cyber world in general. Maybe the worst isnt just to disqualify them due to their activities and even just fantasies.  I know it can get as bad as a former spouse using information and  trying to cost someone their children .   I have been around long enough to see serious harm come to a few folks for just being outed.   Yes, it should be our business and those vanilla folks should be understanding.  Our little sub culture is deeply misunderstood all over the mainstream culture. Think before you post a pic. Do not innocently give anyone the ammo that can ruin your life in ways you never expected. Your risk and your choice for Your life. MH

Once again Spring has sprung and last year I did find a sub I already knew to come sweat in the garden to then be hosed down and beaten with a wet leather belt. Showing up on time seems to be a lot of conflicted subbies issue,  BAAAD subbie boys... Ahhh, punishment is too fun... so much for last year. Again, this season I need a sub to teather and do battle with the thicket behaind the house....thorns are included if a subbie so desires to approach that painful and humiliating part of the woods to clear. Weeding and the rest is expected.  Have a wonderful Spring!! New time for outdoor play.   MH

I wonder lately if play can be too good. The kind of session that is so electric, so intense and erotic that someone can be blown away by the experience and subspace. Seems that this is the perfect mix of neurochemicals and timing. Hummm so what is so unexpected about that? I have heard it be so consuming and such an unfathomable experience that the craving for it becomes obsessive. That is accompanied by a stark terror that the will was so taken and the sheer loss of control was so emense that someone could be lost in it. That kind of response I have seen many times
,that mix of fear and desire. I wonder if it isn't like sunshine; too much can burn you but you just can't live without it. Just too good. MH

I know I have had to screen many subs to know even a margin of safe, sane, and HONEST people who truly do want to play. I am really interested in forging a sane contract and engaging in real play with respect given to boundaries and the sanctity
of each others life. Before anyone e-mails a message, please read my posted profile a couple of times. Be sure you can honestly function in those parameters before you mail.

It is unfortunate that the level of integrity is so dissapointing in some of those I have encountereed here. It is never a good idea to be drunk as hell, never a good thing to make plans and involve others with out consent, and let's not forget that first conversation where the sub does a monologue on his poor deceased wife's alternative cancer treatment for 20 min. Some problems are not for BD/SM to work out,fellas. So please, GET A GRIP, do what you say. And let's all remember that these are fellow human beings with feelings be they dom or sub. There is no need to be hurtful in the name of getting what you want. Ask for references and remember our responsibility for SAFE, SANE, CONSENTUAL play.