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You may already know me as Ernest Greene. I have been active in BDSM for ... well a few decades. It has been at the center of my life and my work. Im a writer (Author of the novel Master of O and the non-fiction journal The Truth About O), an editor of Hustlers Taboo and Taboo Illustrated, a director for Bizarre Video and AdamEve. Ive also been and remain a community activist and teacher for numerous organizations and events ranging from six terms as coordinator of L.A. Threshold and frequent presenter at Thunder in the Mountains.
So thats the resume, but what does it tell you about me other than the fact that Im clearly of age? Im here to get personal so lets do. I believe I was born dominant and, aside from one disastrous attempt at a vanilla relationship in my twenties that wont be repeated). Starting very young, I was always fascinated by images of women in bondage and stories of sexual submission. Ive pursued that fascination with many, many partners over the years and devoted myself to learning not only the arts and sciences of BDSM practice but, more importantly, the emotional dynamics of domination and submission in an intimate context. Ive accepted the truth that these are what keep my little black heart beating.
Having put in seven years as the first professional bondage rigger in Los Angeles, I certainly acquired a number of useful skill-sets and have explored the techniques of everything from impact play to electrical stimulation. All thats great but outside the context of a strong emotional connection merely recreational. Likewise, I observe relaxed protocols but the basics of power exchange are the foundation of the powerful connection I seek.
Not looking for 247 or TPE, but need to share the same level of passion I feel myself with a woman who can surrender joyfully to both pleasure and pain employed with finesse and style. I am a bit of a fetishist with a few simple tastes and a devoted admirer of old-fashioned femininity, though not in a way that conflicts with my respect for basic feminist principles. A Ds relationship is still a relationship and dominant though I may be in BDSM space, otherwise for me any durable partnership must be based on egalitarian ideals.
Yes, I am sadistic, though not to extremes, and highly sexual by nature. If you dont like to mix BDSM with sex, Im not for you. I see them as enhancements to one another and absent either I doubt Id care to pursue any kind of exploration with anyone. If there arent lots of great orgasms in it for both of us Im at a loss for motivation.
Im not a role-player, dont try to remake myself by whatever definitions are currently in vogue. I do not care for the term lifestyle when what I want to share with another is life itself. Im not a great fan of labels like Old Guard either. Im old enough to know that, as its so often described online today, there was never any such thing and behaviors associated with the idea bear no resemblance to my lived experience of the time when they were supposedly universal.
I do, however, believe in foundational ethics of safety and consent. I might be considered a medium-to-heavy player, but what I do, even if it may look cruel to an observer, is one way in which I express affection, which is why I dont do punishment. NMK. I want to make magic with the right person - someone who submits by desire rather than intimidation. There is no flex in my dedication to affirmative consent. Indeed, it is the enthusiasm what I do inspires that motivates me to do more of it. Im a little more RACK than SSC and will go as far as you are ready to go when confident of a shared desire to do so. I am extremely safety conscious and over the years have abandoned some much-loved activities, such as breath play, because I became convinced that no harm-reduction model was adequate to bring them within the boundaries of what I consider safe BDSM.
Likewise, limits and safe words are absolutes to me. I do not push for extremes or manipulate toward changing a submissives determined preferences. Better that we should be compatible from the outset than to attempt any kind of makeover. Yes, theres always room for mutually appealing adjustments, but that is not the same as one person getting their way by whatever means necessary.
In some ways, Im a product of my many submissive partners over the years, from whom Ive learned much about how to negotiate effectively toward a mutually satisfying dynamic.
Though I can certainly enjoy casual play, and am a great believer in ethical non-monogamy (i.e. open to multiple partners but not to lying or cheating), my history is one of long-term commitments. Indeed I never expected to find myself here writing all this down, as for the past 18 years I have been the husband and master of a legendary porn star, who left me last fall having finally decided she preferred a female mate and found herself one.
Thus I am alone again and once more, and in search of the right match for either recreational play or serious bonding. I am not young, though I like to think I have the energies of a younger man, and not entirely free of the limitations of age. I work around them.
I have a wide range of interests outside this realm to share, ranging from film to literature to art to music to fine dining and high fashion. I love the good life and enjoy sharing it with someone who can appreciate it. Laughter is as musical to me as a good climactic squee.
I have no specific physical type. Im flexible when it comes to age (within legal limits of course) and find great attraction in a fit, stylish woman over forty. Im happy to contribute to the education of someone younger, but I prefer starting from a place of shared experience. Ive devoted much of my life to the creation of beautiful BDSM imagery and though beauty comes in many s, I will not deny its important to me.
Open only to RL relationships in the Los Angeles area. Generally not interested in anything online. Also not interested in supporting anyone financially or engaging any kind of commercial activity.
And thats enough about me. Now I want to know about you. Does anything in that wall of text interest or excite you? Do you think we might have good chemistry together? Is there something youve always wanted to try but havent found the person you feel secure to try it with? If so, perhaps we should meet.
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