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geoOct1st

geoOct1st - photo 1
geoOct1st - photo 10
geoOct1st - photo 12

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Friends:
MistressMariellegrace5LadyK58shadowsongredheadvixen64

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Looking to make friends and help others where i can.

Frustrations increase. The need to serve becomes overwhelming !!!

At the risk of being told i am a do me submissiveslave i feel i need to express a few things.

i have been dabbling in the lifestyle for about 18 years. i am not one to bounce from one person to another, i am committed and loyal to my owner.

i do have a life outside this site and at times it can be very demanding, so understanding and tolerance needs to be included with my commitment.
A lot of the time my schedule is very fluid and i am able to move my commitments around in order to serve during the week.

i was owned for a few years and did not pursued any activities other than Her desireswishes, so i am in the process of rediscovering myself. i can share that i do enjoy pering domestic service, being a handy-slave and pampering my owner with massages or personal attentions. I am not one to be emotionless and crave the sensuous and intimate interactions.

The activities i enjoy can vary from the energy i feel from the Dominant, but i do have a few that seem to continuously interest me. i try and con to the Dominants desireswishes, the important activities are those, not mine.

If You have read this far, i figure i havent scared You away.......

my beliefs

The interactions between the Dominant and the submissive are confidential and any sharing with others is at the discretion of the owner.
Services pered are defined by the Dominant. (It would be beneficial to know what the basic requirements will be for me as Your servant, so that i may confirm i am able to per to Your expectations)
Limits are defined by the Dominant. (Once the trust is established)
** An Alpha when appropriate, but always a slave at heart.

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9/7/2023 10:34:34 AM

True Frustration 

Being somewhere you are required to be instead of the place of which your soul needs to be.


6/1/2023 4:46:51 PM

Current state of mind

i have been reminiscing on the choices i made and realizing i have allowed my fears and ego to stand in the way of pursuing my slavish needs. Once again i am in chastity 24/7, trying to feed my need for 

subjugation. The feeling of servility deepens with each passing day. Thoughts of absolute surrender fill my mind. my frustrations have me in a deep state of desperation and i am unclear on why this time chastity has affected me so deeply. As i look around, i find myself alone, void of any intimate contact.  This was not my intention, but it is a product of my choices.

            i am trying to accept the predicament i have put myself into. As my servility deepens, i sense i am to be a slave to all, no exceptions. It is difficult to maintain a position of authority when my demeanor is becoming extremely subservient.  my chastity journey started as a curiosity. Then it became a way to fulfill my need for 

subjugation. Now it is my life. i am my own keyholder, yet i can’t unlock myself. It would be easy to do, but my psyche doesn’t allow it. It is like, i don’t have permission, but from who?



            Dreams are a powerful influence.  my sleep has been restless, filled with dreams of my inadequacies

 and subjugation. The individual in my dream is familiar, the voice i recognize, but where? They 

know what to say and do to 

intensify my feeling of humbleness. They receive pleasure in watching me slowly slip closer to absolute subjugation.
Dreams of subjugation continue to fill my sleep, everyday i wake up in a more slavish state.

This has become a cruel spiral of emotions.  The more i attempt to feed my need for subjugation, the more my slavish desires intensify, which in turn creates a stronger need for subjugation.


6/2/2022 7:20:37 PM

Reflecting

i sit here in chastity, reminiscing on my past, contemplating the decisions i have made, rationalizing some and regretting others.  It is the ones i regret which pierce deep into the soul, humbling the spirit, causing conflict within, creating a helplessness that overwhelms me into a deepening slavishness.

Recollections of disobedience consume my mind, no relief, no escape, an affirmation that i am not perfect. 

Is it possible for me to make reparation?

Are there limits or do i kneel quietly and endure whatever is given to me for my disobedience?

 

geo


1/12/2022 6:21:16 PM

Chastity - Week 95

Today is day 666 of my chastity journey, the 41st day of being locked constantly 24/7. The openness design of this cage allows me to be squeaky clean without removing it. i didn't think the 24/7 constant locking would be so humbling.

  Chastity is not always a punishment                                                                Chastity can be a sign of adoration                                                                  Chastity is not always an acknowledgement of inferiority                                Chastity can be a sign of strength and dedication

   As the waves of submissiveness wash over me                                          The longing to serve deepens to serve deepens

 

 

 

12/23/2021 1:55:08 PM

Servitude requires a relationship

 

How does anyone expect servitude from another without having a realtionship for the foundation of the dynamic?


12/6/2021 5:11:34 PM

LongTerm Chastity

The waves of denial come and go.
There are days when i forget that i am locked up, then a wave of reality hits and the feeling of helplessness and inferiority pound on my psyche.
The need to be teased, aroused and denied as others enjoy their sexual freedoms intensifies..
i started this journey out of curiosity and now i am overwhelmed with the need to be locked.
i have gone back to my original device. It is open and i can keep myself clean without removing it.
i am wondering if i should forgo any shaving, thus eliminating any reason for the occasional unlocking.
Thoughts of making this permanent and irreversible have entered my mind. It would be easy enough to do: Hex button Stainless Steel screw, a tap, Locktite 266.

(Don't forget to round out the Hex hole with a f=drill bit after it is tightly in place, to render the Hex key useless.)

.Yes, the thought has crossed my mind..........a few times..


11/9/2021 3:51:06 PM

Looks like the Journals are back up and available!! 


3/10/2018 4:08:15 PM
Over the last few years i have entertained the idea of getting a PA. The time has come to surrender to the desire and fall under the needle.

2/6/2018 10:15:02 PM
Broken Truths or Misleading Lies?

10/21/2017 9:16:13 PM
Seriously, some of you here are really into yourself and believe "It's all about you and nothing for the other".  
You want to be woo'd and chased, yet you do not give the pursuer the time of day.  Then gripe because you can't find a suitable partner.

Good luck with your fantasy life !!

9/13/2017 6:23:37 PM
A slave's plight

The ache for a power exchange growing
The need for helplessness imperative
The waves of submission changing to slavish desires
Limits slowly becoming distorted, some fade away
The feelings vulnerability and anxiousness flourishing
i am slowly slipping into a deeper state of slavishness
With no relief in sight

7/9/2017 8:45:27 AM
Progression

Surrender and servitude are deep seated needs within a submissive submission with trust and devotion will bring about absolute slavery   Absolute slavery is the destiny of the true submissive                


5/27/2017 7:09:31 AM
Disappointment:

It appears there are just a FEW real or serious people on CollarSpace anymore; 

i get bombarded with spam messages about servitude, "Make the check payable to".  
OR
i read profiles of Dominants looking for a submissive/slave, that in reality, cannot exist. They will carry on lengthy conversations with submissives/slaves, "dangling the carrot" only to just disappear and start a new profile to start the process over.

It seems gone are the days where a Dominant needs a service performed and a submissive/slave offers themselves for service.



5/7/2017 3:33:59 PM
Alpha when appropriate, slave at heart.

4/26/2017 2:34:24 PM
Self-Worth:

A slave is told that their self-worth is given to them by their Owner.

That they are nothing alone, they must be owned or be nothing.
This has been used to motivate the slave to do well, increasing their value.
The truth is that the slave’s self-worth comes from within.
Even without Ownership, the slave is a valuable possession.

4/22/2017 9:15:49 AM
There's a difference between being a dominant or being a narcissistic person.
If you don't know the difference, look it up.
And if you're offended by this, you must be the latter.

4/19/2017 9:21:48 PM
Reading some of these profiles, so unrealistic.
It appears their demands are focused around a fantasy that hasn't any chance of becoming a reality.



4/17/2017 6:43:47 PM

Trust overcomes any hesitance on the journey to submission

Adoration drives the submissive to serve unconditionally

Unconditional service becomes slavery

slavery is the destiny of the submissive


4/16/2017 8:32:41 AM

Dominant/slave 101;
     Respect is a 2-way street, demanding compliance without any previous communications will be ignored. 
     There is an introductory period that both parties should sit down respectfully and share interests, getting to know each other as individuals and determine whether there is a strong basis to begin the D/s relationship.
     There is a negotiation process between the prospective Owner and the slave; the more the compatibility, the less that needs to be negotiated.  
     Then finally the commitment, the Owner takes possession of the slave and the slave's only focus becomes service to the Owner.  


11/13/2016 6:48:31 AM
Alone:

A person can be surrounded by many people and still be alone.
A slave can be busy with life and still be aching to serve
A slave can fill the time with numerous tasks and still not suppress the pain
It is not the task that fulfills the slave, it is who they serve that can suppress the suffering
A slave is only complete when they are in service to the One that controls their suffering

11/13/2016 6:45:53 AM
My Battle Within:

As the darkness waves over me as i feel myself slipping deeper into the rabbit hole of submission
Thoughts of slavery strengthens and begin to push away any rational thinking
Feeling the realization of my destiny as my freedoms need to be slowly, methodically taken away
Hearing the evilness of the words in my head, i am powerless to suppress them
i am fearful to discover what i am to become, yet i am helpless in altering my path

10/31/2016 1:08:49 PM

Waves of obsequiousness;

 

The feeling my obsequiousness is intensifying

It is futile in trying to suppress the escalation

All submissive traits are giving way to servility

Feeling helpless as the transition progresses

Any expostulatory words are overpowered within

Quietly i feel myself losing self-control


10/15/2016 6:49:42 AM
i wonder if i am in the game or just watching from the sidelines
So frustrating, yet humbling
Kneeling quietly in the corner
Waiting



6/26/2016 10:49:01 AM

A slave’s journey

Waves of enslavement begin to form once again

Growing in intensity and frequency

i slowly feel the calmness diminishing

Knowing i will be consumed, i try to prepare

The necessitating ache to surrender increases

my vulnerability deepens

my ability to envisage clouds

Thoughts of ultimate servility fill my mind

She reveals Her desires

She tantalizes my cravings

She magnifies my helplessness

i am at Her mercy

5/22/2016 7:46:38 AM

Ardous

The aching intensifies daily.
Her words pierce my core and chasten my soul.
She has exposed my essence, i am vulnerable.
The inability to refuse is enthralling.
The urgency to serve overpowering.
i suffer in silence

4/25/2016 12:34:15 PM

Any Dominant can perform physical bondage, it is the few who have mastered the art of psychological bondage that truly own the submissive/slave.


4/18/2016 3:00:41 PM
The Hole
The thirst for subjugation is intensifying.
The struggle between obligations and desires is rekindling.
Hard limitations are questioned and discharged.
Thoughts of unconditional obedience are overwhelming.
The light of freedom disappears as i fall deeper into the hole.



4/3/2016 9:13:38 AM

 

So close and yet so far, You are a Goddess !!!

The hunger to be on my knees before You intensifies.

The ache to offer my surrender is becoming overwhelming.

The fear i am not worthy of Your attentions fills my mind.

The insecurity of my worthiness creates a helplessness to serve You.




3/6/2016 9:30:06 AM

A slave's behaviorism

Acquiescence  ~  a slave's response

Conformity  ~  a slave's only privilege

Servitude  ~  a slave's focus

Assimilation  ~  a slave's goal  



11/28/2015 11:22:31 PM

Absolute Dominant Control 

Uncompromising Trust

Uncertain Surrender

Unconditional Submission

Unyielding Service  


10/5/2015 1:07:16 PM

Submission 

Awareness that your destiny is to serve

Accepting yourself as a submissive

Acknowledging that your journey has begun

Affirming your need to relinquish

Absolute surrender  

9/9/2015 7:41:15 PM

 

Being a slave 

Being a slave is not a choice

Being a slave is a destiny.

Being a slave is not a learned trait.

Being a slave is a predisposition.

Being a slave cannot be shut off.

Being a slave is a core passion.

Being a slave is not dispassionate.

Being a slave is absolute adoration for the Owner


9/6/2015 10:30:00 AM

Surrender

The darkness continues to grow

The thirst for slavery intensifies

To be helplessly kept deepening

Thoughts of non-consensual slavery

Absolute surrender the only relief  

 


8/30/2015 8:21:44 AM

Tattoo

Strange how something both parties agreed upon at first, becomes the responsibility of only one when they go their separate ways.

What was supposed to be my declaration of devotion and commitment is now a reminder of a failure.

Regrets i have none.  Growth should never be regretted  !!!!  



8/22/2015 10:20:37 PM

 

Inevitability

The feeling of helplessness is deepening.

Fearing the loss of control.

The shadow of enslavement slowly overtaking.

Visions of deep slavery intrude my thoughts.

Powerless to oppose the desires of another.

Knowing it is futile, i continue to resist.   

 



                                                                    


8/15/2015 8:28:54 PM

These days are so tough on me, torn between the obligations of life and the needs/desires of the heart.

Time stands still, the need increases and the ache becomes overwhelming.

Balance is needed, without it one becomes frustrated, anxious and depressed.

The quandary is still there, taunting me, haunting me.

i am continuously second guessing myself as a submissive.

Can i serve as another desires or demands?  


7/26/2015 9:06:56 AM

The need to serve, to surrender to another has intensified and i find myself in a quandary.

Am i ready for Ownership again or should i continue to wait and just serve?

i find myself longing for the comfort of a compatible Ownership, to know that another feels i am worthy of such an honor.

Then there is the reality of my previous ownership, how the requirements, the direction changes over time that had me desperately trying conform and accept what She was desiring me to become.

The feelings of anxiousness, frustration, depression and abandonment overwhelmed me.


7/2/2015 9:05:31 AM

A slave/submissive is to be is completely subservient.

A slave/submissive is to be docile.

How does a slave/submissive express their adoration for the Domme without violating the aforementioned? (Without it being misconstrued as aggressive behavior)

How does a slave/submissive express a need/desire without violating the aforementioned?

When the need/desire is ignored, what is the correct protocol for the slave/submissive?  


6/29/2015 7:15:33 PM
If a submissive's worth is determined by the Owner, how does the unowned submissive know their worth?

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piggyslutSTL
 
 Age: 19
 Grand Rapids, Michigan