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| i am 52 years old and back for a look around. i had a master who i loved very much, he left me and i am lost and confused and looking to rebuild my world. i am hoping that talking with people who understand the nature of losing a master will help. i will be looking for someone to be a partner in the vanilla sense too,, i hate to be alone.. i hope all this doesnt sound too weak or scary, or both, i'm not really a sad person by nature,, i'm told i am fun to be with and very sexy,, not that i believe everything i am told,, ..i am looking for someone who is local to me because i need to meet someone to see if there is any spark there at all..in the rest of my life i enjoy photography, music and books and films and i paint, i even sell some stuff,, my children are grown and my lfe is mine to do with as i please.... if we never chat, may the days find you in peace and leave you in hope xx gail xx |
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hi,, my life, my mind and my heart are all more ordered than last time I visited this site,, I doubt there will be anyone here who remembers me,, but if there is, please say hi x
I am still ill,, still in terrible pain most of the time,, but pain I choose in encounters has the wonderful spin off effect of masking the vicious pain that I live with every day.
I am now 52 years old, living in my own house and working as an artist/photographer,, if anyone reads this and has questions, please ask,, I am not looking for one night stands,, been there, done that,, think i've outgrown that stage of my life
if we never speak "may all your days find you in peace and leave you in hope,,,"
gail x
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time for an update i guess,, i am not too well and haven't been since january,, i got diagnosed in february,,
i have 2 conditions,,the osteoarthritis is in lots of my joints and my spine,,eventually i will need replacement knees, hips,,but of course they can't do a spine,,, as it worsens it hurts more
i also have fibromyalgia,,it won't damage me,,it just hurts me, 24/7,,imagine the worst toothache you've ever had, then imagine it in all your bones, joints and muscles, then imagine it all day, all night for 9 months,, i am using all manner of meds,, i have pain killing patches, made of fentanyl,,its 81 times stronger than morphine,,so me and the doc are working our way up the doses slowly,, i also take a full 400mg of tramadol, 300mg of lyrica, which is actually an anti seizure med,, i don't have seizures but it has a side effect as a pain killer,,and i have morphine syrup to take when i can't handle the pain anymore,,
so,, life is a bit of a bugger at the moment,,but i am trying to stay on top of it,, fibro doesn't kill anyone,,but it has a mortality rate cos people get fed up of living with it,,,it may go into remission,,for ever,,or come and go,, or stay with me forever,,no way to know
i had to quit my job last month,,sad about that,,so now i am trying to find my way through the benefit system,,not easy,,so,, any emails are welcome,, i am stuck indoors a lot,,, i can't drive cos of the pain and if i take enough meds to get over the pain i am too "drunk" to drive,,, so ,,please keep in touch,,tell me gossip, funny things,,anything,,, lol,,, xxx |
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i offer my sincere apologies to anyone who has messaged recently and not recieved and answer,, i have been very unwell,, doctors, hospitals, specialists,, all very dull, and very time consuming,, i shall do my best to catch up with all my correspondence soon.. xx |
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still waiting,, still hoping,, still grateful to everyone who has been kind to me.. beginning to think that maybe i need a strong man to take me away from it all, in a way i can't seem to take myself away.. x |
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once again my master seems about to change his mind.. this time, in my favour.. we are looking to this summer to reach resolution, one way or the other.. perhaps i am weak, but i will wait a few more weeks in hope..once again, thank you to everyone who has sent me kind thoughts x |
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time i updated.. after 4 years with me my master has now decided to see if his marriage will stand if i am not there to support it.. i have no timescale for this and i am finding it difficult,, i still see him regularly, but only as a friend. i don't think i can live this half life for very long, but i am trying.. i will update if and when anything changes. thank you to anyone who has messaged me with support xx |
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well, i am still talking my master. everything still unsettled and unsettling. thank you to anyone who has messaged me, i try to answer most. i am beginning to realise that i am looking as much for the vanilla side of a relationship as much as anything else. the rest won't work alone for me. my best wishes to any reading this . gail x |
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to everyone who has sent me kinds words and thoughts over the last few months,,thank you.. xx it seems my master may return to me... we are talking,, i will keep you posted xx gail xx |
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