Somehow it seems that people don't notice the dates on journal entries, so I'm updating to quit having the divorce entry be the top entry.  :)

Here's a poem:

Joy by Lisel Mueller

“Don’t cry, its only music,”
someone’s voice is saying.
“No one you love is dying.”

It’s only music. And it was only spring,
the world’s unreasoning body
run amok, like a saint’s, with glory,
that overwhelmed a young girl
into unreasoning sadness.
“Crazy,” she told herself,
“I should be dancing with happiness.”

But it happened again. It happens
when we make bottomless love—
there follows a bottomless sadness
which is not despair
but its nameless opposite.
It has nothing to do with the passing of time.
It’s not about loss. It’s about
two seemingly parallel lines
suddenly coming together
inside us, in some place
that is still wilderness.

Joy, joy, the sopranos sing,
reaching for the shimmering notes
while our eyes fill with tears.

Well, I write here every time something significant happens.  Meantoys and I are divorcing and ending our relationship.  This breaks my heart, I do not want it, but he says he sees no other choice for himself, and I have to respect his decision.  I respect his decision not because I was once his slave but because I respect him, and at some point, you have no choice but to believe what someone tells you is their truth.