I've often found, especially more recently (last few years), that IE is preceded by an expectation that a potential master/owner will enslave not receive a slave.

If you look around there are a lot of naturally submissive people. Those who go that step further to please, to serve. Both in business and work you notice the ones who invest heavily in what they do and do look to be recognised or praised for their efforts from anyone other than the one receiving most of the attention.

A slave is not made, a slave is not created by the owner. A slave goes to an owner and almost insidiously creates a place for themselves by being the one to "do". They aren't seeking anything at first but given the slightest praise will respond with greater service and this is the prequel to a relationship.

Natural Dominant owners (not the one you see swarming around most sites) don't really recognise a need for someone to serve them. They might like the idea but can't make a relationship work on their own because they have a natural desire to control and dominant that makes relationships unstable and difficult.

When the owner and the slave actually click, that's when "the slave" not the master sees something worth working for. She selflessly places herself within his reach and does whatever is needed to be the one he uses. This is not romantic nor a relationship as such, just the circumstances needed for the dominant to start relying upon the slave. A developing relationship takes times, sometimes a great deal of time. The slave can be responsible for almost every aspect of the owners domestic or work life (perhaps even both) but still possibly not even recognised for any of it. The connection starts reaches the point of failure when the dominant realises just how dependant he has become on her and then comes the decision of accepting them or rejecting them.

So, a slave is not made, not forced into submission or seeking a dominant to make them a slave. They are a slave who just haven't chosen anyone to serve.

A dominant is naturally dominant person and not someone who becomes so when someone requires it. He is not made into a master he comes to recognise he is one.

Those here asking to be made into a slave, aren't a slave. Those here asking for a slave (and yes I realise the fact I am not so indirectly) need a slave to grant them the acknowledgement of who they are. I think that the openness and public eye has greatly diminished the dynamic and so much of this has become about titles and part-time roles. Shame it used to be easier.

The best chocolate bars By Lygeia Grace and Dawn Perry
Willy Wonka, eat your heart out: Real Simple staffers selflessly tasted more than 180 luxe bars to determine which ones deserve a golden ticket.

Best 70 Percent Cocoa and Up (Extra-Extra Dark)
Scharffen Berger Bittersweet: Don't be daunted by the high cocoa content. This winner is bright and fruity, with a smooth finish.

Best 60 to 69 Percent Cocoa (Extra Dark)
Chocolove Rich Dark: Get ready for a flavor explosion: chocolate goodness spiked with roasted coffee, chilies, and cinnamon.

Best 50 to 59 Percent Cocoa (Dark)
Ritter Sport Dark: Rich and glossy, this semisweet pick is better than anything you'd find in a bag of morsels. Serve it with an after-dinner liqueur for a grown-up dessert.

Best Milk
Dove Silky Smooth Milk: The pure cream and cocoa flavors are so delicious, even dark-chocolate snobs will see the light.

Best White
Perugina: The white stuff may not technically be chocolate (it doesn't contain cocoa solids), but who cares? Rife with lemony notes, this is buttery and sweet.

Best Almond
Scharffen Berger Milk Almond: A sprinkling of coarse sea salt intensifies the sweetness, and chopped roasted almonds accompany Every. Decadent. Bite.

Best Hazelnut
Trader Joe's Swiss Dark With Whole Hazelnuts: This monster slab is so loaded with protein-packed hazelnuts, you could almost consider it an energy bar. (Almost.)

"Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley

"Love the Life you Live"
"Live the Life you Love"  - Bob Marley

It's been a few months - or is it years? I can't remember now. All I can remember is that you left, and I just wanted to say:

Thanks for that.

You broke it off cleanly: no texts left hanging in space, no lengthening space between dates. No, you called up one day and said "It's over," and so it was.

That was good.

It didn't make me happy at the time, mind you - if it was something I'd been seeking, I would have broken up with you. But even though you broke my heart, you demonstrated something worth showing:

You protected your happiness.

I had become someone you didn't trust any more to look after your best interests, and out I went.

Because I loved you, that's something I can - and should - respect. You weren't the sort of woman to tolerate me in your life for years at a time, bemoaning all the problems I caused in the faint hope that somehow I'd improve. You gave me time to improve, I didn't, and it was gone.

And to be honest, I wasn't entirely happy either, was I? We were both sad and frustrated at that point, circling like punch-drunk boxers in the ninth round, hoping like hell that somehow we'd make it connect -

- when honestly, we never would.

You were strong enough to call it off with me when the goodness trickled low enough that this relationship wasn't worth harvesting any more. That ending still stings at times, because you didn't allow me to ride it all the way to the bitter end, wringing out every last droplet of happiness we could have had through long arguments and ugly silences. I'm still fond of you because there was fondness left when you clipped the vine.

Some days I clip the vine. I know how hard it is to look into someone's eager eyes and tell them it's over. And I know how much strength it takes to do the quick mercy of breaking up rather than running it into the ground.

Thanks for that.

I still think of you fondly, sometimes, now that the anger's passed. Some days I wonder if we could be friends, and if that day happens when a reconnection sprouts organically, well, I'll take it.

But for now, I have faith you're happy. You were strong enough to guard your happiness when you felt someone else was pulling you off-course.

I support that act of protection. Even when it was me.
(Cross-posted from my Real Blog

.)

There are two kinds of doormat, those who have no choice, and those who have ascended to the level of connection and surrender to their own core which allows and enables life to be lived as a constant exploration of inner discipline.

That second type I find to be awesome and fascinating and alluring.

Slave's Monogamy def:
“Everyone else can fuck off because I only want you. I only wanna be wanted by you.” 
"I’m a mess of a person but I’m loyal and I’ll love you with everything I have." 

Women with college degrees are nearly twice as likely to have long-lasting marriages than those without, reported

Pew Research Center on Dec. 4. The report cites a 2012 study of first-time brides by the US National Center for Health Statistics

,

~Five Gifts~

The next package before You,
Has no definite shape,
Master, this is my soul,
You hold the complete me,
Shape and mold me well.

The last gift,
I wait anxiously for You to open,
The paper falls away,
This Master, is my surrender,
I submit all of me, to You.

Now You have me,
I have gifted all I have,
Treasures once mine,
Are now in Your possession,
Trusting You will care for them,
Knowing they will be safe.

The Invitation By Oriah Mountain Dreamer    

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for,
And if you dare to dream of meeting
Your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
For love, for your dream,
For the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow,
If you have been opened by life’s betrayals.
Or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain,
Mine or your own,
Without moving
To hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy,
Mine or your own,
If you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
Without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic,
or to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself,
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can be faithless and therefore be trustworthy
I want to know if you can see beauty
Even when it is not pretty every day,
And if you can source your life
From its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure,
Yours and mine,
And still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes!"
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair,
Weary and bruised to the bone,
And do what needs to be done for the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you are, how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
In the center of the fire with me
And not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
From the inside
When all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
With yourself,
And if you truly like the company you keep
In the empty moments.

"No disguise can long conceal love where it exists,
or
long feign it where it is lacking."
~ Francois La Rochefoucauld
------------------------------------
Fighting scammers

I am far away and I don't want anything....
I have seen the scammers work on my friend.
I detect them by searching for the pictures online
you can find where they stole their profile pictures from.
Talking on the phone does not always detect hem
He talked to melanie for 6 months, before his "emergency"
she came to me panicked asking me to pray for this man.
She refused to believe it at first, it was humiliating for her.
she had already given him quite a bit of money
But a sure sign is the minute they ask for money...sad.
Below are some sites that you can use to check a scammers pictures and email address
http://www.stop-scammers.com/
http://www.romancescam.com/
http://www.romancescams.org/

without arousing his suspicion,
get him to send you email off the site using any popular email program.  
You can check the location of his IP address in his private email.  
click on mail header and view message source source(View full headers in Yahoo) ,
once it opens look for (X-Originating-IP) next to it you will find 9 numbers, these numbers are the IP of sender, which we need to trace the location of the sender's computer.
Now copy them ,then go to http://www.ip2location.com/free.asp
it's a free site to locate any IP, type in IP address and it will show where email originated.

You can also read the metadata in the jpeg pictures he sends you that is a little more complicated

Contd,  How to discipline a sub
1) Consequences Must Actually Be Discipline/Punishments

What I mean by that is that "funishments" do not, in fact, work; or rather, they do not have the intended effect of behavior change. The punishments should not be something that the person (or people) being punished would actually enjoy. Positive reinforcement can work, and I may get to that later-- but that's not our purpose, at the moment. If you suggest a punishment and the punishee enjoys it, then something is awry.

2) Consequences Must Be Related to the Misbehavior

If I tell you that it is wrong to hit, and show you that by hitting you, I am teaching you something different than what I'm saying. I'm saying "hitting doesn't solve problems," but then showing you that it-- in fact-- does. If, for example, the person you are punishing was told that they were to send you three outfit choices for you to pick between and they do not, a punishment of ignoring them doesn't make sense. It's not related to what they did directly. A punishment of a beating is not related, either. What is related, however, is anything regarding clothing and the timeliness of finishing tasks. Something along the lines of having to send the outfits (with photos) and then be forced to wear an overly revealing choice in public? That's directly related and consequential. Furthermore, it allows the first task to still be completed.

3) Ensure You Are Consistent

You need to make sure that you consistently punish, and in similar ways (presuming those ways are effective and follow the other steps listed here). Say you have two subs who misbehave in the same way (or even if you have one, and they do the same thing twice). One time, you punish the sub; the other time, you do not. What are they truly learning? What they are learning is: "I may be able to push the boundaries here." Remember, your action or inaction is teaching a lesson here. Only you can control who is in charge of that lesson. In other words, consistency is key because you should...

4) Use Actions; They Speak Louder

A speed limit sign says that the maximum speed before a penalty is 55 mph. You know, however, from experience that you are unlikely to get a ticket until you're going over 65 mph. What is the actual law? It says 55, but those are just words-- the ACTION (of when the consequence occurs) is what truly matters. Not only do you need to say you will punish (and how you will do that), but you need to actually do it. And consistently, as mentioned in number three.

5) Remove Your Emotions From It

Discipline is about changing behavior (or behavior patterns). It is not about vengeance or a vendetta. It is not about being upset or hurt. Surely, you may be hurt when your submissive misbehaves and/or ignores your demands, but your punishment cannot come from that place. Your goal is their self-betterment, submission, and a change in their actions. Putting emotions into it leads to being more severe, showing less restraint, or having illogical/inconsistent punishments. None of these are good. Furthermore, the bratty subs out there will get a kick out of your emotional reaction and will seek it out. You do not want to give them that attention, here.

6) Make Your Messages Clear

No matter if you're disciplining or merely telling your submissive what your desire is, how you phrase your message is vital.

Keep your focus on the behavior.

"You can talk with me after you write in your journal, and not before" is much stronger than "Why are you being such a shit? Write in your journal."

Be direct and specific.

"Wash, dry, and put away all of the dishes; pack up the leftovers in the containers; and clean off the counters" is better than "clean up the kitchen." How can your submissive know what you want if you're unclear?

Specify the consequences for noncompliance

"Stop looking at your phone while we're talking, dear. If you take it out again while we chat, I am going to take out your battery until the end of the weekend."

7) Give Choices

When provided with options, people are far less likely to rebel (even if they are a brat). The options needn't necessarily be wonderful, even-- they just need to exist and be communicated to the person who may be punished. For example, when you get options after getting a speeding ticket, you feel you have some degree of "control." You are aware, then, that you may pay a fine directly or go to court to fight it. Neither of these are charming notions, but you have some flexibility and ownership over the punishment.

8) Make Your Choices Logical and Limited

Imagine that you have Netflix and that you don't return a movie on time. If they instantly charged you for another rental, it would seem unfair, wouldn't it? Of course. So why do we do this sort of thing to our subs? We need to provide choices and let them prove themselves as capable. What does Netflix actually do in this scenario? They give you a choice. Return your movie on time, or be unable to rent another one. There is also a final, hard-limit (punishment)-- after a certain number of days, they charge you for the film.

So how do implement this? You restrict the number of choices to two or three. You make the submissive responsible for his or her behavior (asking "What will you choose?" puts the onus upon them and gives them ownership). Then, if they do not comply, you follow through with your consequence/punishment.

I will post a series of example punishments should I get enough interest in seeing such a list of logical/limited choices.

9) Avoid Unclear Statements

When you tell your submissive to stand in the corner until they are ready to do x, y, or z, this is a problem. Some submissives may be "ready" to do x, y, or z right away. Some may get irritated and choose to stay there infinitely longer than you had intended. Give time limits and time-frames. "You will stand there for thirty minutes. When you hear the timer go off, we can move on." Also, never use the word, "Okay?" at the end of your consequence. What if it's not okay to the sub-- does that mean he or she can choose not to do it? Of course not.

10) Give a Clean Slate

When the punishment or consequence is finished, it's finished. Don't lord the misbehavior over your submissive. You wouldn't want it done to you, so why would you do it to them? Many submissives feel horrendous enough when they misbehave (as they do not like to disappoint)-- if the goal is behavioral correction, reminding them of their misdeed over and over again will only cause resentment or anxiety. That is not your job, as a Dom, and that is not the goal of discipline.

The skill set required of a dom in a lifestyle D/s relationship is rather different than that for a top in an S&M scene, although there's overlap. The focus of this article is lifestyle doms.

Note: I run the risk of simply summarizing my own style as a dom here. I've tried to look beyond that, and solicited feedback from sub friends.

Honesty and transparency. He answers any question you pose, shares things you should know unprompted, and hides nothing about his life. He's willing to discuss previous relationships in detail, and doesn't blame breakups mostly on the ex-partners.

Has tried kink and craves more. He wants kink for how it makes him feel, not just because you want it. He's not conflicted about it. He enjoys educating himself on the topic, and has kinky friends and/or mentors. (Because it's easier to meet appealing men in ordinary social situations, many sub gals make the mistake of falling for vanilla guys who seem to have dominant attributes. Vanilla boys cannot be converted to doms!)

Vanilla chemistry. You like each other as people, not just as kink providers! He likes you as much as you like him. He doesn't pull you into D/s dynamics until you get familiar with each other. (This can be hard to resist! See D/s Gravity article.)

Compatible life patterns and goals. Some subs, and doms, are more adaptable than others. But in general, chemistry is not enough; you need basic alignment in schedules, habits, needs for solitude & attention/affection & kink/sex, and social patterns (e.g. a social butterfly may not be well-matched to a homebody). Career and family needs and dreams also need to line up, or be adjustable!

Vision and clarity. He has a picture or plan for the future of the relationship. He sees possible paths from the present to that place, and makes the current path clear to his sub. The journey may well alter his vision of the destination, or the route to it.

Emotional sophistication. He's aware of his own feelings and issues, and able to discover and understand yours. He can ask for help when he needs it and lend help when you ask. He's not easily angered or hurt, but will promptly and calmly tell you when he is. He'll call you on your stuff, and allows you to call him on his.

Dedication to self-development. He's constantly working on himself — especially emotional and social skills. He's at peace with who he is, but isn't complacent. He learns from his mistakes. (This trait can fill a lot of gaps if he learns quickly, but it's not a substitute for missing abilities.)

Curiosity and fascination. He's profoundly interested in you, and your dynamics together, and the aspects of himself that you enable him to explore.

Intuition and empathy. He's good at reading you, and eventually predicting your likely responses in key moments. He communicates his insights about you. He has a sense of how you feel, which impacts his own mind-state.

Humility and confidence. He knows his weaknesses and vulnerabilities. He knows his strengths. He takes risks wisely. He doesn't mistake authority for knowledge and understanding. He owns it when he's at fault or has failed.

Sets limits and pushes limits. One point of D/s is redefining both partners' boundaries, emotionally and physically. A dom guides this process, both by setting beneficial restrictions on his partner, and working to dismantle barriers she may have towards him.

Patience and flexibility. He's willing to invest the time and care necessary for a deep relationship. He knows you're not superhuman. He can take "no" for an answer when necessary. He can devise or embrace alternate routes to his objectives.

Appreciation and encouragement. He conveys to you how good he feels with you. He celebrates your talents and accomplishments. He doesn't criticize you unfairly or needlessly. He urges you to pursue your interests, to hone your strengths, to address your weaknesses. (Appreciation can be overdone. A sub should draw greater meaning from acts fulfilling her partner's needs than from praise for performing them.)

Knowledge of the body. He can touch you in an observant way, or a directive one. He learns how to play your body like an instrument. He is aware of his own body. He can sense when either of you needs rest.

Financial stability. He has his own living space. His debt to income ratio is manageable. (Disposable income to spend on fetish gear is nice, but do-it-yourself projects can replicate much of it. Wealth is not essential to happiness, in fact it can get in the way.)

Cares for himself. He's sensible about nutrition, sleep, exercise, grooming, clothes, car, etc.

If you find a gent with all of the above qualities, and he's into you, be willing to bend over backwards and forwards for him daily. He's a rare find!

What's Irrelevant

Looks. How someone feels to you in person — through eyes, voice, energy — is far more important than how statuesque or photogenic he is.

Need for control. Some doms like to supervise a sub closely and often, others do so far less. How dominated a sub feels is not a matter of how often her dom barks orders. Most control freaks don't qualify as doms.

Social and workplace dominance. Romance novels describe heroes who somehow control every situation they encounter. No one does that. Almost all kinky gents are employees of some kind. And anybody is comfortable in certain social situations and less sure of themselves in others.

D/s experience. If a guy hasn't "owned" a sub before, it doesn't mean he's not qualified. Talent and dedication to honing it are more crucial than experience.

10. Inner Thighs
The inside of the thighs are highly sensitive to touching, stroking and licking. They have many nerve endings, therefore when you fondle them, you will turn her on like crazy.
Remember not to bite unless you are trying to cause her plenty of pain.

9. Behind the Knees
Because of all the nerve endings behind the knees, you'd be surprised at how crazy a woman can become when you gently lick or nibble on the back of her knees.
Be careful not to overdo it — the area, after all, is very sensitive and you must be careful not to make the sensation annoying by getting too rough or tickling her too much.  I have found particular success in approaching knees kissing and nibbling my way from the thighs or calves.

8. Buttocks
Yes, it's true. Lots of women like it when you play around with their behinds. A lot of women like mild to hard spankings and caressing to squeezing of the buttocks.
Some women like having their butts licked, sucked and penetrated (with fingers, penis or both).

7. Nape of the Neck
Just breathing on this part of her body will give her goose bumps all over. So just imagine her reaction when you use your tongue or teeth to get her aroused.  Good technique is to kiss the neck then blow on it gently to get a cool sensation as the moisture from your kisses evaporate.
Use your hands too; lift her hair up gently as you bring your mouth closer to her neck. Then, as you sink your teeth into it, pull on her hair slightly so as to give that "I want you sooo bad" impression.
This part of a woman's body is also a good place to start giving her that sensual massage you are famous for and no woman can resist.

6. Ears
Many women enjoy having their ears licked, sucked or kissed. Although blowing in her ear is acceptable, it should be done very gently, think warm moist ear. Besides that, women like it when you whisper in their ears what you are going to do or would like to do to them. It gives them Goosebumps and arouses them to.

5. Feet
Many women enjoy having their feet touched, massaged and some even enjoy having them licked and sucked. Assuming that their feet have been properly cleansed, women enjoy it when their men spend time caressing their soles, toes and ankles. Because these zones can all be ticklish, the sensation of ticklishness can be pleasant for the recipient.
While some men cringe at the thought of wrapping their mouths around a body part that spends most of its day sweating in leather, many guys are actually pretty keen on the idea of giving their women a good toe lashing every now and then.

4. Wrists
This may come as a shock to most guys (women have wrists??!?), but women love having their wrists nuzzled and nibbled by their lovers. The next time you're getting into the foreplay of things with your woman, begin kissing and caressing her wrists and just check out how impressed and turned on she'll become!

3. Breasts (Nipples)
As I'm sure is no surprise to anyone, the breasts are very sexually sensitive and gentle fondling, squeezing, caressing, licking and sucking of the nipples can be extremely arousing.
Just as well, many women like it when their guys get a little rough with their little mountains , so find out how she likes it and give it to her the way she wants!

2. Vagina/Clitoris
The clitoris can be stimulated by using the tongue, the finger or, for the multi-talented Joe, both simultaneously. Some women like to guide their lovers as to the specific amount of pressure they enjoy.
For those who don't get that luxury, it's usually quite evident whether or not she's pleased with your performance. If she begins getting squirmy, make sure that it's because she's enjoying it and not because you're giving her that "annoying" feeling.
In the vagina, the G-Spot may be a little difficult to locate, but some women find the search quite worthwhile. There is an area inside some women's vaginas that produces intense sexual feelings when stimulated. Once located, very gentle stimulation gives an incredibly pleasant and unusual sensation.
And the number one female erogenous zone...

1. Lips
Yes, it's true. If you know how to manipulate her lips just right through kissing, licking, sucking and biting, it is very possible that a kiss will lead to a lot more than that. Use your lips, your tongue and your teeth to play with her top and bottom lip and kiss her with absolute passion.
And there it is, the top 10 spots that will drive her crazy. Remember that all women are different and have their own likes and dislikes. Get to know her body and experiment. There's so much more to women than just their sexual organs.

INCREASING HIS PLEASURE AND YOURS..

by TabithaBash 5 days ago

I learned how to give hot and cold sensation blowjobs and have them down. I use Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey and Dekuyper Creme De Menthe with ice. There are some other things you can get at the porn shops but these are readily available.

I take a shot or 2 of Fireball in my mouth and some on my lips and I wil use my tongue and lips to tease his cock with it before I start taking it into towards my throat. I will generally do this twice with fireball and he will warm up a bit which increases his sensation.

Then I repeat twice with Creme De Menthe.

His sensation is incredible and his cumshot will not just be incredible but quit yummy.

What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life – to strengthen each other in all labour, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting?

~ George Eliot

25 Traits Of An Alpha Male

Here are the 25 Traits of an Alpha male:

1. An Alpha male is very comfortable with himself. He always radiates confidence. He does not fear anyone, he does not really care how people think of him. Confidence is him. He knows he is more important than anyone else in his life.

2.Is very passionate in life. He knows what he loves to do and follows his dreams. A true Alpha male has goals and ambitions, and really high ones. He follows these to the ultimate end, and ends up living a fulfilled life. (And women love passionate men with ambition. They see these kind of men becoming very successful in life and in their subconcious minds this is a qualifying factor in choosing a mate that will be able to provide for their future kids.)

3. Failure is only a minor setback for a real Alpha Male. Its only part of the process, he is learning. He is moving. He will always bounce back from failure, learn from the experience and move ahead with life. Nothing holds him back, after all, he is the Alpha male. Nothing can put him down. This is how he overcomes the challenges in his life.

4. He is always composed. An alpha male never loses composure, he is always himself, thoughtful and calculated. He won’t be carried away in emotional spasms.

5. Driven. A real Alpha male is very self- driven and self disciplined. Once he decides his target, all his attention will be at achieving his goal. He will do everything persistently to achieve what he wants. This is also why Alpha males drive women crazy, they are men of their own, they don’t need to be told what they should do. Women prefer men who make the decisions.

6. High morals and values. A true Alpha male is not what we will call a ‘loose’ man. He has high moral principles. He is not abusive or arrogant and does not look down upon others. Many people confuse Alpha males and Bullies. But generally, while bullies are very aggressive on the outside, alpha males are very calm, calculated and controlled people.

7. An Alpha male is a natural leader. He is always looked up upon to provide direction when needed.

8. An Alpha male is a Problem Solver. In a company or organization, he will always be put in a challenging position and because of this, he will be highly regarded and compensated. He will always be the best at what he does.

9. Dress- Code- Smart. Not that he really cares what anyone thinks of how he dresses; that is not very important to him. But he still dresses the best way possible, always. Its just part of his nature, after all, he wants the best in life! He doesn’t have to but he knows he should.

10. He believes in growth. He knows that change is an internal process and takes time. He does not blame anyone for his mistakes because he knows that he has the power to make his life better and become a better man. Life for him is all about constant growth. This is the real essence of a man living a life of purpose. Every successful man in history knew this. That life is learning process. It is only an arrogant person who thinks they know it all. Humble yourself and learn!

11. With women he always poses a challenge. No, he is not chosen by women, he CHOOSES them! He does not throw himself at women and start acting needy with women. For him its the other way round. They really have to impress him and earn his attention.

12. A True Alpha male is not bossy. Not at all. He likes to listen to others’ opinions. If he is in a position of leadership he will let everyone share their thoughts and collectively find the solution. That’s why his co- workers love him! His team always wins.

13. He is not afraid to face his faults or admit when he is wrong. For a real Alpha male, there is nothing wrong with admitting when he has done something wrong. Its all about moving on with life, finding a solution, moving forward. If he wronged someone, he will politely admit and apologise, without making a big deal out of it, then move on to the next best thing.

14. He does not have to prove himself. An alpha male is being of very high self esteem, he does not need anyone’s approval to make him feel better about himself.

15. Alpha males are very clever, smart and cunning people. He’s got a real keen mind. He will assess situations and find the best logical solutions. In business alpha males do very well, their analytical skill and keen mind goes a long way.

16. Dominant, not aggressive, Alpha males also posess superior social skills.

17. Social behavior – Hang out mostly with other alpha males. A true Alpha male finds the most value in hanging out with others like him. He also finds growth in doing this by learning from others who are better than him at one thing or another. That is why he never fails in life, he surrounds himself with people who are either like him or better achieved than him. Those are his company.

18. Physically fit. Alpha males are into healthy living and proper eating. They workout regularly, this also helps them become more focused on their goals and ambitions. This is why most Alpha’s are well built and all masculine.

19. Optimistic. Alpha males will always see the positive side of things and make the best out of what they have. A true Alpha male knows that in every problem there lies therein an opportunity. They just have to find it.

Body Language

20. Alpha males talk slowly. They never rush things, they are always in control. They have a way of having there audience eat at their every word. They know they are important and when they talk they command this importance.

21. They walk slowly, not not lazily. There is a difference. Alpha males are very controlled people. They are not always in a rush like everyone else. An Alpha male will be very disciplined to be on time or earlier for a meeting and well prepared. He will therefor have enough time to observe and think through his strategy.

22. Really Good Communicators. The alpha male is a great communicator both verbal and non-verbal. He shows his feelings through positive body language and is not afraid to show his sexual side. Women love this too – Men who are not wussies at flirting and showing their sexuality. It is not about telling a woman that you love her. Its about Expressing it in body Language and letting her read it with her subconscious mind.

23. Witty. Alpha males have a high sense of humor, they always live on the fun side of life. Its never always too serious for them.

24. Alpha males know that they are important. When you call them (Unlike Beta males) they will take their time to turn their head and focus on you. You always have to prove worthy of their attention.

25. Alpha males Demonstrate Strength. The kind of strength that will make a woman believe that she is safe with him and that he can protect her when it comes to that. Women are generally the weaker sex, and always look for comfort in Alpha males; men who are dominant.

Agree?
Disagree?

***Anti-SubDrop Recipe*** Read this shit damn it!!!!

This was written by -L-. They were very kind to let us repost.

When experiencing sub-drop read this everyday first thing in the morning, last thing at night and all through the day till it's over:

1. By now you have learned to recognize it. It feels bad. It will pass.
2. Seriously, you know you can't think straight, so trust me on this one: it will pass.
3. Your mental faculties are compromised. Don't rationalize your feelings, your conclusions will be completely wrong.
4. This has happened before. It's always the same. Trust me, this time is no different.
5. Do NOT blame other people. Do not lash out. Do not do anything at all. Just feel what you feel. It's ok to feel like shit for now.
6. The pain you feel is natural. It is cleansing. You are processing and washing away all the negative emotions you have repressed till now. This is a good thing. Flow with those emotions and when it's time, let them go.
7. Do not try to explain things. There is no "why", there is only emotions. You need to feel those emotions before you can let them go.
8. Don't fight it, embrace how you feel.
9. Don't pressure it. It will take as long as it will take. It will pass. You only have a limited supply of negative emotions, after you run out of them everything will go back to normal. It is all temporary.
10. You are not alone. That's not why you feel bad. There is tons of people that care. If you feel disconnected it is NOT their fault. Just breathe, wait. It will pass.
11. Be kind to others. The pain you feel now is nothing compared to the guilt you'll feel afterwards if you hurt your friends. Be patient and let things happen naturally.
12. You are safe. It is ok to feel this way. You'll be glad you went through this afterwards.
13 You are not in control now. That's ok. In fact that's what you want to feel from time to time. Be grateful for this experience. You can learn a lot from it. Learn to flow with it. You won't get lost, you'll always find your way back. Just let go for a while... it's what you need. You'll be so much happier and at peace afterwards.
14. Do NOT delete your profile, your posts, your pics, do NOT delete your friends!!!!!... it doesn't work. It just makes you feel stupid afterwards when you have to repost everything. Leave the internet alone... it's done nothing wrong to you.
15 Do NOT push people away, especially the ones that offer help. That is a serious mistake. You may feel like no one can help, but running away only makes things worse.
16. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Oh... and by the way... Fucking Breathe.
17. Once you start breathing also walk a lot. And breathe some more... a lot more... like all the fucking time. Breathe and walk.

Addendum: This applies to "sub drop" following a good scene... when later on you feel miserable for no apparent reason...

which is NOT the same as when something goes wrong during the scene and you are dealing with the aftermath... that is not the time to pretend nothing is wrong... very different situation...

Many thanks to -L- for allowing us to post this!!

from butterflyslut

:

The Submissive 

A submissive knows herself … every strength … every fault and failing … she is her own worst critic … a bit of a perfectionist. And yet this self-knowledge makes her strong … she is comfortable with herself and who she is … she has high self-esteem and an unshakable belief in her possibilities. 

A submissive is capable … curious … independent … intelligent … creative … resourceful. And yet she has the capacity to put all this aside … escape her ego … and submit to the man she loves. Because she understands that there is one relationship that needs to be primal … and that she can only be complete as a sexual being in the arms of a strong man.

A submissive has a large heart … with space for many things … and a compulsion to open itself. This makes her passionate … but it can also make her overly dramatic and needy. All the same … those blessed by her presence will never know greater devotion or emotional honesty. 

A submissive is trusting … able to give more than most women … open and vulnerable in a way that most can never comprehend. But this is her freedom … true courage and fearlessness. Life is an adventure to her … endless challenges. She understands that dreams are meant to be lived and shared … in the moment and for always. 

A submissive is a complicated creature … she is many things all at once … subject to the same failings as anyone else. But more than anything she is real. She is the angel that serves her man as a lady and a friend … and the whore who serves his darkest desires. Treating all his needs with the same love and respect. She never tries to hide from the two sides of her nature … or from his … instead she embraces them and lets them run free.

On Pain

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses
your understanding.

Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its
heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.

And could you keep your heart in wonder at the
daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem
less wondrous than your joy;

And you would accept the seasons of your heart,
even as you have always accepted the seasons that
pass over your fields.

And you would watch with serenity through the
winters of your grief.

Much of your pain is self-chosen.

It is the bitter potion by which the physician within
you heals your sick self.

Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy
in silence and tranquility:

For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by
the tender hand of the Unseen,

And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has
been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has
moistened with His own sacred tears.

-Khalil Gibran

There is something about~
Being pushed up against a wall, face first~
Cheek resting on rough wallboard~
Breath caught in your throat~
Listening to the growling in your ear~
And trying to remember your own name~

There's something about being~
Pushed up against a wall~
Your back flat up against it~
Staring straight into eyes that see through you~
Swallowing hard~
Waiting for your heart to start beating again~

There's something about~
Being made to crawl across the floor~
To a seated Man, staring into your eyes~
Not letting you not look at Him~
Not letting you stumble~
Drawing you to Him without a word~
Trembling, a whimper caught in your throat~

There's something about~
Being pulled up by your hair~
Feeling that hand slink up your neck~
Into your tresses, close to the scalp~
Grabbing, gripping it, guttural sounds emitting from His lips~
The pain not nearly as strong as the urge~
To cry or bite a hole through your bottom lip~

There's something about~
Being bent over the back of a chair, without warning~
Without pretense, without question~
Having your skirt flipped up, cool air hitting hot skin~
Your cheeks blushing, with the same color of your ass~
As He warms it with the striking of the palm of His hand~
The tears you cry not cooling you~
The tears you cry because He has found you~

There's something about~
Those words He uses~
Those names He calls you~
Those phrases meant to elicit a response~
And you do respond~
All of you responds~
And your body betrays you, always~

There's something about~
Being thrown down and taken~
Not against your will~
For your will is to be there~
To please, to submit, to offer, to relinquish~
And you cry out for breath, for more, for Him~
And you know you are home~

There's something about~
Being dragged into the shower~
Forced to your knees~
Hissed at for silence~
Growled at to be still~
And awaiting the flow~
That you know~
Marks You as HIS~

There's something about~
Kneeling quietly beside Him~
Your body reddened, coated, tired~
Your mind silent, for once ~ for a time~
Your head bowed, your eyes closed~
Your lips quivering as His fingers touch you~
Your submission, unquestioned~
Your Peace at His Hand.

Cock Worshipping...MMMMM.. a slave girl's point of view

Cock sucking and cock worshipping. This was the thought heavily on girl's mind the whole evening and night last night. This girl drifting into her space with these thoughts focused on solely on One she will choose to call Master. This girl even dreamed of it all night for gosh sakes.

This girl can not think of a more intimate, better way for a slave or ("cock worshipping jizz slurper" as girl likes to call herself), to show her loyalty, devotion and love to her Master than through a thorough worship of her Master's cock. And, if girl is doing it from her heart and soul, it should be extremely pleasurable to girl's Master. 

For this girl, cock worship is a most important time that girl spends only focused on her Master's cock and balls, without the added stress of thinking that she has to try intensely to bring her Master to orgasm. Although girl is sure some M/men could be/are brought to orgasm during cock worship, a Master prefers to maintain control and use it merely as a warm up for great things to come (no pun intended).

During cock worship, and this is just girl's experience and opinion, girl is connecting with her Master and her Master's body in an intense emotional and spiritual way. It isn't about just the sucking, even though that may be commanded of girl and amazing at the time, but, it is more about licking, caressing, tasting, admiring, respecting and showing girl's unashamed lust and desire and craving for such an important, reverent, sacred part of her Master. 

This girl uses her mouth, lips, tongue, face, hair, light scrapes of her long nails, or using her tits...anything that brings pleasure to a Master to the point of a Master sighing or moaning, or even growling out loud. This lets girl know, without a doubt, the pure slutty side of girl is pleasing Master. Nothing makes girl hotter and wetter and starve with desire for a Master more than hearing a Master's moans and sexy, primal growls of approval. When girl feels Master's cock grow hard under her touch, and Master's balls tighten in intense anticipation of release, it gives this girl a sense of how deeply she truly loves to please her Master. An accomplishment of girl being the best slave she wants and knows to be. 

Why is it that this girl can barely go without it? Why does this girl love and obsess on it so much?

Because it pleases a girl's Master immensely...a very simple, honest answer.

Once one stops worrying about how long it takes,or, thinking what else one needs to be or should be doing, or how uncomfortable it makes one's body, one realizes how fulfilling it is to meet her Master's needs and wants and desires. For this girl, it's never been about just giving her Master a "blowjob" or just another issue that needed to be tended to. It is a necessity to please her Master. 

Feeling and absorbing Master's pleasure with no expectation of return favor...
is girl's main focus and one of girl's greatest displays of her submission into slavery to her Master.

“She said she’s not interested, but she still flirts with me, so what do I need to do to get her?”
“Well, I know she likes me, but she didn’t call me back last weekend, what should I do?”
“He treats me well when he’s around, but he’s hardly around. What does that mean?” soph·o·mor·ic säf(ə)ˈmôrik  adjective: sophomoric pretentious or juvenile.

This may sound a bit idealistic to some. But The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” has many tangible benefits on your dating life:

1. No longer be strung along by people who aren’t that into you. End all of the headaches. End the wishing and hoping. End the disappoint and anger that inevitably follows. Start practicing self-respect. Become the rejector, not the rejected.
2. No longer pursue people you are so-so on for ego purposes. We’ve all been there. We were so-so about somebody, but we went along with it because nothing better was around. And we all have a few we’d like to take back. No more.
3. Consent issues are instantly resolved. If someone is playing games with you, playing hard to get, or pressuring you into doing something you’re unsure about, your answer is now easy. Or as I often like to say in regards to dating, “If you have to ask, then that’s your answer.”
4. Establish strong personal boundaries and enforce them. Maintaining strong boundaries
   
   not only makes one more confident and attractive
   
   , but also helps to preserve one’s sanity
   
   in the long-run.

These are 11 things Rica Jagger a retired fashion model I came up with for a hot man:

1. Strength -- I don't mean how much a man can bench press, although a nice set of pecs doesn't hurt. I'm talking about internal-fortitude strength. Firmly-planted, I-know-who-I-am strength. There is nothing sexier than a man who's grounded, who's in command of the impulses and anger that may have derailed him when he was younger, whose quiet confidence telegraphs, without a hint of arrogance, that he has nothing to prove.

2. Vulnerability -- A man isn't strong unless he is also vulnerable. This means he can tell you what he wants, when he's afraid, how you make him feel, what he did that he's made amends for, what he's overcome, what brings him to his knees. Without transparency, there can be no genuine intimacy, that ingredient that makes sex remain sexy when the initial high of infatuation dissipates.

3. Integrity -- This ingredient separates the boys from the men. While they may dazzle in the beginning, womanizers, scoundrels, and narcissists use lies, cheap tricks, and smoke and mirrors for personal gain. There is nothing sexy about a man who pretends to be something he's not, who lacks any depth of feeling, and who doesn't care how much blood he leaves on the tracks. If you gave me a choice between bedding Don Draper and Atticus Finch, I'd choose that soft-spoken lawyer any day.

4. Intellect -- A beautiful mind is sexy. IQ points are great, but that's just a piece of smart. Critical thinking, an unquenchable thirst for learning, and a gift for distinctive self-expression create, for me, a kind of male siren's song. I don't care how gorgeous a man is; if he can't entice me with his mind, the sexual chemistry won't be there.

5. Sense of humor -- A man who lacks a sense of humor is like a cold shower on legs. It's impossible for me to connect with someone who's ultra-literal, hyper-serious, and rarely laughs. For me, intellect and humor are inseparable bedfellows. Smart people read nuances and see the humor in situations. And the brand of humor is critical. Even if a guy is hot, if his version of funny doesn't sync with mine, the sexy won't stay sexy for long.

6. Warmth -- It's exhausting trying to connect with someone behind walls. Compassion, empathy, a ready smile, an easy laugh -- these traits and actions are disarming in the best sense of the word. Kind is sexy. It just is.

7. Generosity -- Stinginess is a turn-off. Not only stingy with money, but also stingy with feelings. While squandering one's money and emotions indicate a lack of control or self-worth, counting pennies and withholding genuine contact suggest a preference for things over people. I've also found that stingy men aren't as good lovers as their more generous counterparts. It's not sexy to sleep with someone who holds back physically or emotionally in bed.

8. Affectionate -- Affection is warmth in action. A soft kiss on the back of my neck as he walks by. A palm reaching through the hole in my jeans to squeeze my knee. Laying his head on my chest because it's one of his favorite places to be. A man who loves touch for the sake of touch, whether or not it leads to sex, is sexy.

9. Mindfulness -- Not that long ago, I was attracted to men so ambitious that they appeared to be driven by motors. What I've learned is that that kind of "ambition" often masks insecurity, avarice, and aggression, qualities which are not remotely appealing. Mindfulness -- the ability to be aware and present in the moment, even if that moment is painful -- is the ultimate form of ambition because it requires a commitment to personal growth that is not for the faint of heart. A man who radiates quiet confidence, who is able to remain calm and centered in the face of challenges, makes me weak in the knees.

10. Partnership -- The only place I want to be dominated is in the bedroom,

and that still requires my consent. In all other contexts I want a man who doesn't try to dominate me, who understands the need for compromise, reciprocity, communication, and respect. I have no time or patience for men who play games and control women in order to feel like men.

11. Sexual confidence -- True sexual confidence has nothing to do with penis size, smooth moves, and bedpost notches. It's an ambience distilled from quiet authority, an ability to read my body and my breath, a sensual lingering in the moment that may or may not involve gazing in my eyes, but always requires a desire to be vulnerable and present. A sexually charged man who is in command of his urges and firmly situated in his sexual expression will turn me into a breathless, perpetually aroused Alpha Submissive

in no time flat.

Many of these 11 things didn't appear on the checklist I had when I was in my 20s. Back then I was seduced by slick businessmen with snazzy cars who traveled in packs. There's nothing wrong with someone who fits that deion -- but razzle-dazzle wears thin quickly without substance to back it up. One benefit to being 52 is that I've finally learned what to look for in a man.

"Are you married? If so, does your wife or husband know you play with others and can I speak to them about it?"
"Do you have a criminal record?"
"Are you on any psychotropic medications and why? What happens when you are not medicated?"
"Are you on illegal drugs and what kind?"
"How and why did your last two or three significant relationships end?"
"Are you still friends with your exes and, if so, would you mind if I met and talked with them?"
"Who are your closest friends, how long have you known them, and can I meet them?"
"What are you into and what are your expectations from this relationship? What do you consider your ideal relationship?"
"When  were you last tested for STDs"

Notes on Deepthroating from Master_James and others...
I thought it might be helpful to a few subs/slaves here.

Deep throating isn't something done by most, but it's a must for me. So that means over the years, I've trained more partners than I can remember and even helped out a few female friends who wanted to improve their oral game for future boyfriends. 
The gag reflex is something that can be desensitised and must be for deep throating to occur. You can easily start by using your fingers to touch your tonsils. Do it in the shower so that if you throw up, it's not going to make a mess. If you don't like the idea of your fingers, then use the handle of your tooth brush. But generally I recommend fingers.
It will take determination and mental strength to overcome the urge to vomit. Eventually you will be able to flick your tonsils around and not even gag.
At this point get a soft, 6-7 inch dildo with a suction cup base and begin practicing on that. There is no point being over ambitious, and trying to learn on the 9 inch variety.
Once again the shower is the perfect place to start, until you are more confident. Just suction cup that silicon dick to the tiles at neck height, and go to town on that bad boy. I actually assign this to my girls as a daily protocol while they are in training.
After you desensitize further on the dildo, and gain enough confidence, switch to the real thing. I recommend using a friend as a stunt cock, as you will feel less embarrassed than with a lover you are trying to impress with your sexual prowess.
Get a friend with an average, to mildly above average cock. Practicing on a micro penis is a pointless activity. And learning on your fuck-buddy with the 12 inch BBC monster won't do anything for your confidence, no matter how good it might feel stretching your pussy. And it is probably an endeavour in absolute futility for deepthroating purpose, to everyone but the most well trained oral whores. 
Take your time with the stunt cock. The purpose of this isn't to get it off or make it cum. It is to allow you to gradually realise your potential abilities for later. So don't pressure yourself too much. And for the love of god, make him sit on a towel that covers your work space.

• Remember to poke out the tongue, as it helps open up the back of the throat.
• Remember to approach the cock on an angle that alines your mouth and throat in a straight line (chin-up, not down).
• Remember to take a deep breathe, because you can't breath with a cock in your throat.
• Remember to relax and not worry about your lips around the shaft as you work the cock deeper. Let your mouth and jaw hang freely, and let the drool flow.
• Remember that a mild side to side shaking of the head motion, can assist working the cock back thought the tighter areas.
• Remember not to panic when you feel the "pop" as the head of the cock passes the narrow passage at the back of your mouth.
• Remember that experiencing a gag reflex, doesn't signal the end, as a cock works as a magnificent plug to prevent vomit escaping.
• Remember to take your time, and break it up with sucking the head, or licking the shaft and balls, while you regain your breath between deep throats.
• Remember that for most it will take time to gain this new ability, to gain the confidence in your new ability, and to gain the endurance to be capable of fucking a cock with your face.

And for the love of god, remember to think positively, and that this is what you wanted. It's not going to happen overnight, and any cock attached to a man worth your efforts, will appreciate the commitment you show, even more than the skill you display.
Comments

Lick the side / get it wet.
when it comes to deep throating.. get it to the back of your throat.
Close your lips. take a deep breath and kind of yawn to open your throat and push further down the

shaft.. slowly pull the cock out of your mouth and repeat so your throat gets use to the impalement of a

nice thick cock..it's so much simpler...when it is just as far back as possible, right before you gag, pretend

to make yourself yawn. I thought everyone knew this. That will suppress the gag reflex and the cock will

slide right into your throat. Takes all of 2 minutes of "practice".


Deep throating a dildo is not the same as a real cock, they don't bend the same(from my experience

anyways, or maybe I just have a cheap dildo)
Oh and, if the penis you are practising on has a curve, angle the curve along with your throat!


and nothing works like downsizing an inch to improve confidence! chin up, tongue out... thanks for the tips!


Breathing through your nose is another tip, eventually you can get a great rhythm going. Reverse

blowjob with your head hanging over the bed is really hot while his hand is on your throat feeling it going

deeper and deeper.
Loooove sucking cock :)

swallow when His Cock is in my throat. I can now give him full deepthroat

Also, making a fist around your left thumb can help to suppress your gag reflex, not sure why but I read

that somewhere a while ago and tried it, it doesn't work 100% but it helped at least for me lol google that

shit ^_^


Reflexes have sense memory. When you're in the mood for sucking cock, your gag will relax with practice.

This will not deter your gag from kicking in when necessary. Also, epiglottal function remains intact unless

you are sucking cock into your airway. If this is the case, then you deserve an award and could give lessons

to anesthesiologists around the world to prep them in intubation. However, when sucking cock, or

drinking, or eating, or anything that requires your airway to remain protected, your epiglottis will still

kick in to prevent airway insult, despite how much if a cock sucker one is ;)

but dont use food esp banana or cumcumber bad idea might get broke off and lodged, relaxation is the

key you must learn to relax, i was taught to breathe through yr nose, your gag reflex will always be there

you cant make it go away its there for a darn good reason, be patience this will not happen overnight 2

weeks not even a month, you cant swallow a sword or cock in a short amount of time, it takes time and

patience. This is your basic starting 101 on deepthroating, everyone is different. but once someone has

mastered deepthroat yr will not regret it.



As a lover of everything blowjob related, and a good one at that I have a few more tips that I found helped

me.

1. Popsicles are your friend especially when it comes to training your gag reflex! You know those cheap

ones you used to get from the corner store as a treat? Get one break it in half and try with that, it's yummy

and cold which I found helped. It's skinny enough that you can get it past your tonsils without actually

touching them, then start moving it around making it graze your tonsils. Plus, if it break, it's just delicious

flavored ice. (I no longer eat popsicles in public)

2. Position, position, POSITION! The more extended your neck and throat are the easier it is to deep

throat. Physics! Think of giving AR, you always have to make sure the person's airway is open (i.e.: tilting

the person's head back) same goes for deep throating.

3. Swallow! I don't mean cum, I mean cock. I have found making the swallowing motions when your

partners cock gets to the back of your throat makes it all much easier. Your muscles will contract and

guide the cock down your throat, much easier than just trying to jam it down.

Last but not least practice, practice, PRACTICE! Even if it's on a small penis it will boost your confidence

and blow that person's mind. Plus on a smaller penis you can try different techniques and tongue

placements way more easily and the risk of cock-teeth problem is much smaller.

Remember that experiencing a gag reflex, doesn't signal the end, but it is VERY dangerous behavior to use

the cock as a plug to prevent vomit escaping a slaves mouth.  This should be clearly part of safety

negotiation.

If the vomit is  forced into your lungs you can choke. Aspiration of vomit can be fatal.
Please don't do anything that will prevent the vomit from exiting the body unhindered.

We all have that one love. That one we can't forget, the one we had to let go but never ever really wanted to. We think about them from time to time and wonder where they are and if we ever cross their mind anytime? We wish them well even though they broke your heart. That one that touched your heart, changed your life, turned your world around even if it was for a short time. You wonder if they felt that way about you even though they let you go. She loves him more than he will ever know, he loves her more than he will ever show..

If you ever fall in love ...
Fall in love with someone who wants to know your favorite color
And just how you take your coffee

Fall in love with someone who loves the way you laugh
And would do absolutely anything to hear it

Fall in love with someone who puts their head on your chest
Just to hear your heart beat

Fall in love with someone who kisses you in public
And is proud to show you off to everyone they know

Fall in love with someone who makes you question
Why you were ever afraid to fall in love in the first place

Fall in love with someone who would never want to hurt you

Fall in love with someone who falls in love with your flaws
And thinks your perfect just the way you are

Fall in love with someone who thinks
You're the one they should wake up to each morning

When you really love someone,
their mistakes never change our feelings
because it is the mind that gets angry
but the heart that still cares.

In the greater scheme of things, BDSM is processing through the collective sexual unconscious. Some of the things that fall into that category are obvious:

    taboos (things that are a part of our collective sexuality that we do not own),  
    abuse (the effects of childhood trauma that people do not know how to heal from),
    and primal animal urges (the biology of our evolution)

Some people get into bdsm because they have become numb. They need to be stimulated with extreme measures because they cannot feel their bodies or emotions properly. This is a very serious condition, and should not be taken lightly.

The person in the position of power and control within a D/s, SM or B/D construct must be deep feeling and full of empathy. A masterful man (or woman) can feel what lies beneath the numbness, understand what it is, how to alchemize it, and what it is truly for. Such a person knows how to deal with the very big emotions that the numb person is protecting themselves from by staying numb.

That's the artistry part- if you force someone to feel then you are responsible for seeing them through what you have conjured from their underworld. If you push too far they will become more numb instead of more feeling. That's why amateurs have no business in sadomasochism.
dontkissme

STYLES OF DOMINATION
(Author Unknown -

If anyone should find the author's name, I'd appreciate your sending it to me so I can list it here for copyright credit..amen to that).

Dominants fall into three general categories, Authoritarian, Democratic, and Equalitarian. Each category has its sub counterpart. Because these are generalities each category has many variations. What these variations may be are left up for you to conclude.

The Authoritarian Dom:  Rules with absolute power and total control. He makes all of the decisions and there is no questioning by the sub of what is asked or what is done. The only recourse a sub may have, if allowed, is a “safe” word. Generally there are little or no limitations binding the Dom. The subs attracted to these relationships are the “slave” submissive. The sub that wishes to be totally controlled.

This form involves the voluntary surrender both emotionally and physically on the part of the sub. Generally the limits are pushed through heavy S&M activities. Some of the strongest relationships exist within this category. The couples that live a 24/7 D/s relationship are usually found in this realm. Unlike with the Democratic Dominant, there are no long training sessions to affect certain behavior. Things are done with no negotiations, limits are pushed and both parties accept this. The feeling of closeness and coupling is generated by the relinquishing control and the wielding of (almost) absolute power.

This Dom’s implements (toys if you prefer) are usually highly crafted, sometimes intricate, wielded both with proficiency and effectiveness. The Dominants are skilled in their use and their sub is generally highly skilled at receiving the results. The implements developed by the Authoritarian’s are often borrowed in kind by Dom’s in other types of D/s relationships.

It can be a profound and sobering experience for someone not yet familiar with this type of domination to watch an Authoritarian scene. Authoritarian Domination is what is usually referred to as “real”, when D/s aficionados use the term real, this is of what they are speaking. This type of D/s is not only S&M but encompasses a wide variety of  D/s conventions and behaviors. This is the generally accepted and also the stereotypical definition of BDSM.

Remember that this is only the stereotypical definition of “real”. Authoritarianism is only one aspect or area of D/s. So “real” is what you are involved in and feel comfortable with and not what others do.

The Democratic Dom: While it might sound like an oxymoron this Dominant is one who controls by agreement. Limitations, conditions, safe words, and times & places are all agreed upon beforehand and strictly adhered to.  Discussions between the Dom and sub are the norm and written contracts are not unheard of.

Punishment is both a training tool and very often a reward. It is dispensed by the Dom to achieve or reinforce a certain behavior in his sub and at the same time as a pleasurable (sexual) stimulation for the sub. While both punishment and reward may be two distinct areas in the relationship, many times the lines blur.

Submissives who are attracted to these situations are those who want the same agreed condition and especially the limitations. They can be called feisty, bad little girls, spoiled, hard to tame, because they like to challenge the limits and/or rules. Or because they have certain fears.

This can be a game area where fun supersedes the Dominant/submissive operative. The Dominant and submissive like the actual and varied activities and enjoy each other when participating in them. In many cases the submissive does not actually want to surrender but likes playing as if she does.

These relationships seem to be less long term, as this is the area where “thrill seekers” usually reside. Many like this type of situation since it is a convenient and safe way to play with D/s. It is fun and it makes it easy to feel like they are indeed practicing D/s. These same people while enjoying D/s related scenes are not as into the emotional side of dominance and submission as are others.

On the other hand this type also serves a very good purpose, acting as a safe passage into other variations of D/s, or for learning, especially among those who are doing this for the first time with someone new, or they are trying it for the first time ever. After some experience is gained in D/s activities these people begin to learn the “rules of the road”, so to speak. Sometimes leading to a more intimate and stronger D/s relationship.

The Equalitarian Dom: Is one who controls by teaching, mentoring, and leading. This Dominant knows that when he finds a comparable submissive that things will happen as a natural progression of the interaction. Usually just a short learning phase is required to receive the correct response from the submissive. Both the Dom and the sub “get it”, there is very little need for so called “training” and they naturally know what the other needs and is looking for.

The Dominant does not like the situation of constantly repeating and forcing a particular behavior (submission) to occur. Besides the activities (sexual and others) it is the surrender as a result of the Domination that is the objective and enjoyment. Creativity is an important part of this situation. They tend to intellectualize and be more into the philosophical and psychological mechanisms of this life style. They understand the concepts and resultant interactions and can put it into real life. They do not need many rules like the Democratic type, nor do they like the heavy S&M activities of the Authoritarian, preferring submission to occur as a result of an instilled desire in the submissive to surrender. She “wants” to submit as a result of the Dominant’s knowledge and skill in dominating her.

Sensuousness is the rule. Pain is given and received as a form of sensuous stimulation. Light pain as opposed to severe. Sensuous torture is a popular activity in this area. Both the Dominant and the submissive must naturally be this way. These are the people who will claim to be “born that way”. They fully understand the concept of D/s, it comes to them naturally and easily. They attract a submissive that truly and naturally desires to please and who will observe and sense what it is that the Dominant is communicating; and be able to translate that into the right thing to do. The “doing or saying without having to be told” type. The submissive begs easily and surrenders sweetly. They understand the concept of respect and surrender and can make it happen after initial learning with little or no additional instructions. They embrace the surrender gratefully and lovingly.

These individuals usually form very intimate relationships. There is not much downside to these relationships, because they not only grasp the concepts, but can make it happen as well, and their attraction is based on a strong mutual respect. Their strong relationship is not readily apparent to the unobservant, but they are always subtly in the 24/7 mode. The fact that these things come forth naturally and without the need for orders is a great source of pride, satisfaction, and loving. They are the opposite side of the coin from the Authoritarian. Whose pride, satisfaction, and love come from strictness and forbearance.

"Unbutton, unzip, unclip, untie, undo, undress."
"Understood," she replied.
- Michael Faudet


The difference between a boy and a master:
The boy drives his submissive; the master mentors her.
The boy depends on intimidation; the master depends on love.
The boy inspires fear; the master inspires enthusiasm.
The boy says "I"; the master says "We".
The boy says "Go"; the master says "Lets go".
The boy says "you failed";
the master says "great try, we will do better next time".
The boy blames for the problem; the master fixes the problem.
The boy wants; the master loves.

You were the one
I wanted most
to stay.

But time could not
be kept at bay.

The more it goes,
the more it's gone,
the more it takes away.

You have such a pretty mouth.
To feed it only kisses
would be a wasted opportunity.

From a Dom’s page
"Being a Dom is like being a gentleman;
It is a recognizable fact discerned from your actions and behavior.
if you have to declare you are a dom then you are not".

"The man, who insists on you being submissive or slave when he first contacts you, is psychologically just one step away from a rapist – your needs, especially your need for safety is of no concern to him.  Refuse such a man and be vigilant some men will not take refusal lightly.

 A child that has been abused, or experienced major trauma, in their early childhood will have some form of arrested development as a consequence. Their innocence is shattered, they now know the world is not a safe place, they shift from personality development to personality survival. 
Whatever stage they were in their emotional and personality development is the stage they revert to under extreme stress, for the rest of their lives. 
Life maturation forces a restart of the personality development and growth and coping strategies are thus developed.  Oftimes a multiple personalities is one of the coping strategies that the child chooses.  There are other strategies, self medication with drugs, alcohol or sex, extreme anger, high risk taking for the Adrenaline rush etc.
Many subs have this disorder to a lesser or greater degree often without an awareness of their development disorder.   Counselling can help them to recognize this deficit and develop life strategies to holistically function in adult relationships.  
The sub/slaves who have had these past childhood traumas should choose very carefully who they surrender themselves to.  Their primary need at a primal level is SAFETY!, not pleasure, they need emotional, and physical safety.  Choose a Master than is experienced and mature enough to recognize the needs of his slave and unselfish and caring enough to meet those needs.  By definition this master/slave dynamic is an exchange, Master get a slave, slave gets her needs met.
This is my opinion, from observations and conversation.
I would like to hear what others think of this analysis.

peace

Poly phrase: "I don't use primary/secondary terminology, since I don't see my relationships as hierarchical."
English translation: "You're a secondary."

Poly phrase: "For me sex is about energy, so breathing and heart connection are more important than ejaculation."
English translation: "I'm more sophisticated than the guy over there, please sleep with me instead."

Poly phrase: "I see polyamory as being more about relationships and intimacy, while swinging is just about sex, and sex without intimacy is just not where I'm at right now."
English translation: "I'm more sophisticated than the guy over there, please sleep with me instead."

Poly phrase: "The most important thing to me is keeping agreements."
English translation: "If you start seeing someone else and I'd feel unsophisticated just saying that I'm jealous, then I'll reinterpret one of our agreements until I'm able to say you broke it."

Poly phrase: "Even secondary relationships for me aren't just about sex."
English translation: "Secondary relationships for me are just about sex."

Poly phrase: "Right now the most important things to me are building poly family and intentional community."
English translation: "I'm getting concerned that I won't always be able to easily find new partners, plus I'm tired of driving from place to place, and oh yeah, I'm more sophisticated than the guy over there, so please sleep with me instead."

Poly phrase: "In our household the most important things are open communication and open process."
English translation: "Expect to be abused with passive-aggressive 'I' statements."

Poly phrase: "I don't feel that we communicate on the same level, and that you aren't supporting me emotionally."
English translation: "I'm tired of you but it would make me seem less sophisticated and hence reduce my opportunities for further sexual relationships in this community to actually say that so bluntly, so I'll make this about vague failings on your part instead."

Poly phrase: "I think we should each have veto power."
English translation: "I want to reserve the right to veto each of your partners, no matter how much they respect our existing relationships, so that you're de facto limited to monogamy while I play the field."

Poly phrase: "I think that we should focus on each other for a while."
English translation: "I'm having more trouble finding partners than you are, time to clip your wings!"

Poly phrase: "I want you to always feel OK telling me what's really going on in your life, and asking for what you need in this relationship."
English translation: "Ask for what you need, and express hurt feelings, at your peril."

Poly phrase: "I'm not angry at you, I'm angry at myself, for not having recognized sooner that we weren't right for each other."
English translation: "I'm angry at you for not making my life perfect, but rather than taking responsibility for setting and meeting my own goals I find it more satisfying to shift the blame to you while superficially appearing to do the opposite."

Poly phrase: "Out of respect for our primary bond, we normally only see other people together."
English translation: "MAYBE THIS TIME I'LL FINALLY GET TO HAVE SEX WITH TWO WOMEN AT ONCE OMG OMG OMG THAT WOULD BE L33T!!!!! "

Poly phrase: "I think we need to process the end of our relationship and get closure."
English translation: "I'd like to kick you while you're down."

Poly phrase: "We obviously need to work on our relationship."
English translation: "We're through. I just want to vent a little more so that I can feel a little more self-righteous once you know it's over too, OK?"

Poly phrase: "The idea of line marriage has always appealed to me."
English translation: "The idea of having sex with people younger than me has always appealed to me."

Poly phrase: "So, which conventions do you like to attend, what kind of books do you like to read, what are your spiritual beliefs, and what is your ideal occupation?"
English translation: "Which science fiction conventions do you like to attend, who is your favorite fantasy author, what form of neo-paganism do you ascribe do, and where in the computer industry would you like to work?"

Poly phrase: "I'm needing to do some inner work, and instead of dating anyone would rather just work on my relationship with myself."
English translation: "I'm tired of you, but since I don't have anyone else lined up right now I might as well get some mileage out of the personal growth angle."

Poly phrase: "Well, I'm only theoretically poly, but I already have plenty of firmly-held beliefs about how it could be done in real life!"
English translation: "Hi, I'm an idiot."

Poly phrase: "Swinging would be way too crass for me. I'm more about relationships and emotional intimacy."
English translation: "I've always wanted to go to Swinger's Club, could someone give me a ride there and guest me in, as long as I don't have to ask publicly?"

Poly phrase: "All of my partners are equally important to me, and they're all primary."
English translation: "I'd rather not explicitly spell out what the hierarchy is, but trust me - you'll know when you run into it."

Poly phrase: "Our friendship is more important than anything else."
English translation: "Once you've told me that we're done fucking, you'll never hear a word from me again."

Poly phrase: "I'm willing to take this slow as well."
English translation: "I intend to act like a SNAG (Sensitive New Age Guy) and put as much pressure on you to put out as possible."

Poly phrase: "I've had to do a lot of work on that issue myself in my other relationships, and I'd be glad to help you with it if you want."
English translation: "I've tried blaming all my other partners for my shit and they won't put up with it anymore."

Poly phrase: "I really admire the way you are able to speak up for your boundaries in your relationships."
English translation: "If I'm going to get you to sleep with me, I'll have to be a cagey, manipulative bastard."

Poly phrase: "My other partners and I share a lot of interests but we do a lot of things separately, too."
English translation: "None of my current partners will let me have anal sex with them. Will you?"

Poly phrase: "My partners and I follow our own unique spiritual path."
English translation: "Please join our cult."

Poly phrase: "I've learned so much from all of my relationships."
English addendum: "...so I know not to tell you about my OSOs/mental illness/contagious diseases until after you're emotionally involved with me."

Poly phrase: "I expect and give honest communication."
English translation: "I will bludgeon you with my opinions whenever I feel like it and if you can't take it then you must have a problem with 'honesty.'"

Poly phrase: "I wish we could all just get along."
English translation: "Give me what I want and no one gets hurt."

Poly phrase: "Have you read "The Ethical Slut"?
English translation: "If you don't have sex with me, you're a prude and aren't evolved."

Poly phrase: "Age is just a number."
English translation: "I will not fuck women who are my age or older."

Poly phrase: "Do you do Tantric?"
English translation: ""If you don't have sex with me, you're a prude and aren't evolved."

Poly phrase: "Poly people are more evolved than mono people."
English translation: "I'm a virgin."

Poly speak: "It's a shame you're limiting yourself and your love."
English translation: "Why won't you fuck me?"

Poly phrase: I've told my poly partner about you and she's very excited to meet you so we'd like to have you over for dinner soon. Would you like to join the two of us for that?
English translation: Due to how hot I said you were my poly partner feels very threatened in her status as my primary, and she is obsessively compelled to check you out in person so she can look for some ammunition with which to veto any potential relationship you and I could have. Would you mind bringing a body guard?

And this slightly more pleasant alternate:
Poly phrase: I've told my poly partner all about you and he is so excited to meet you that we are both hoping you'll have dinner with us soon.
English translation: I've told my poly partner how attractive you are and we both hope to eat you for dinner

Poly phrase: Being poly has made our sex lives even more WONDERFUL because while my primary partner and I REALLY love playing with each other, we also WELCOME the opportunity to meet interesting new people, and open to the presence of other special lovers in our lives!
English translation: Being poly has given my partner and I a very WELCOME excuse to have sex with new people which is WONDERFUL because we're REALLY sick of each other!

Poly phrase: Our relationship could be characterized as a primary polyamorous connection which will organically evolve over time. Both of us are too sophisticated, open, level-headed, and rational to tolerate putting any limits on other people or ourselves
English translation: We're each other's booby prize. Both of us are too selfish, poorly groomed, dysfunctional and crazy to find any other people to tolerate us.

Poly phrase: I don't know if our connection has each and every quality necessary for a successful primary relationship, however I would like to explore this further because I do care about you very much and really cherish our friendship.
English translation: I know I'd love to have sex and explore how orally talented you are right now because I'm very horny, however I don't like you enough to really spend much time with you.

Poly phrase: I am seriously interested in working out our secondary relationship in such a way that would make both of us happy. I'm wondering if we could both try to create more room in our lives for each other? I'm hoping you're thinking something similar.
English translation: It was fun being fuck buddies. Maybe we'll do it again in a few months? Or not.

Poly phrase: My primary partner and I have totally worked out our jealousy issues regarding the play parties we attend. I get thoroughly wet when I watch him share pleasure with other people! Loving communication and listening are our life's priorities.
English translation: My partner makes me feel totally psycho at every play party. I thoroughly punish him with my sublimated rage later when we're at home! Passive-aggressive behaviors and messages are our favorite

For those who think
“There is always someone better coming around the corner”
“could end up spending their whole life waiting for perfection"
"and at the end desperately settling for anyone who notices them”

If a woman is not submissive to a man
it is not because she lacks the ability to submit;
rather he lacked the ability to create for her
a safe place in her heart and mind to fall to her knees.
~Anonymous~

hmmm SOMETHING TO MEDITATE ON
If you are thinking about living with someone before you marry them, consider these common myths.

Myth: Sharing finances and expenses will make things easier on our relationship.
Fact: Just like any couple, disputes often center around money. Couples who live together have more financial issues to resolve. Conflicts arise over who is responsible for which bill and the rights one partner has to tell the other how to spend “their money.”

Myth: Marriage is just a piece of paper.
Fact: Legally, marriage is paperwork. Emotionally, physically, and spiritually, marriage is a contract of commitment. Viewing marriage as a legal arrangement strips it of its meaning and sets the relationship up for failure. If couples do not view marriage as a loving, committed relationship, divorce is almost inevitable.

Myth: Your sex life ends when you get married.
Fact: The level of sexual satisfaction is lower among couples who live together than for married couples. Couples who live together tend to be less faithful to their partners than married couples.

Myth: It’s only temporary.
Fact: Many people enter a cohabiting relationship hoping that they will be married soon, however, living together isn’t always a stepping-stone to marriage. Research from the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University tracking cohabiting couples over five to seven years reported that 21 percent still lived together without marrying and 39 percent split up. 

Myth: Living together is best if there are children involved.
Fact: The effect of cohabitation on children is significant. Children in these situations are at risk of emotional and social difficulties, performing poorly in school, having early premarital sex and having difficulty forming permanent emotional attachments in adulthood. If the man in the household is not the biological father, children are at greater risk of experiencing physical and sexual abuse.

After hearing the myths about living together, one student was brave enough to ask, “If living together isn’t the answer, what can you do to build a strong healthy relationship?”

Experts suggest that time, learning to communicate effectively and making marriage your goal are key. Time gives you an opportunity to see how your partner handles different situations that life throws at you: the stressful times, the joyous and rewarding times and the humdrum of everyday. If you can survive these life events with someone and still love them, then there is an excellent chance your relationship will last.

So going too fast on my mountain bike
failed to pop my tire for the rut curb jump
took a hard fall, busted up knee
but thank God I was wearing gloves and a helmet
yeah I got up got back on bike :)

Negative people create an environment that destroys the mood of everyone around them. They surrender during adversity. They look for reasons why things won’t work or someone to blame. They are the first to complain and use lots of excuses. They love to talk about others and rest assure they are talking about you. We become who we surround ourselves with. Show me your friends, I will show you your future ~Marc Mero

lets talk biological imperatives hetro men and women
Genes are selfish, they want to spread
Males are broadcast procreators...men want to get to sex right away
female are conservatives...women take their time to be sure
as a result men want to breed as many high quality women as possible
women want the best male, the smartest, strongest, highest status male to breed with
knowing this will help explain some of the going too fast burn out bdsm relationships
keep this in mind as you consider a life mate
peace

Players only love the game they're playing
The are not loving you...
Don't play the game when you encounter a player

Purported to be from a church billboard today...
Forgiveness is to swallow when you just want to spit.

If you lean on and depend on an illusion
or strong wishful desire, you will FALL,
because it is not real there is nothing there.
A little bit of an imperfect reality is better than
a lot of a perfect illusion.

Gently, gently, I counsel masters....
Rushing only frightens what you wish to catch.
Court the one you desires. Don’t desperately grab for her
Discipline sharpens pleasure,  when pleasure is finally fulfilled

namaste'
namaste' defined
"I honor the place in you where Spirit lives
I honor the place in you which is of Love,
of Truth, of Light, of Peace,
when you are in that place in you,
and I am in that place in me,
then we are One."

More Relationship Crash and burn due to lack of communication rather than lack of passion or desire.  Especially in a BDSM or Ds dynamic the need to communicate transparently, honestly and completely applies as we run at a much higher emotional tempo. The  highs are euphoric and the low are crushingly depressive.  Regardless if we are master or slave the human communication modalities still apply.  Remember the idiom “we can’t hear what you are saying because of how you are saying it”

For Men
When you are listening
Don't just wait for the other person to shut up, as you think about what you are going to be saying next. Actively listen, eye contact, ask follow up questions, show you are engaged, show you care.
Your response should take into consideration how the other person (who might be much more emotionally invested),  want you to respond.
Crushing her spirit crushes the heart that brings you joy and pleasure.

When you are speaking:
DO NOT GIVE ADVICE UNTIL ASKED.
Communicate that you understand your slave's concerns.
Emotion are not bad, they don't make a man weak, identify the emotions you are feeling and express them, I did not say act on them, but talk about them. tough for men but much needed.

For Women
When you are listening:
Don't get even more upset if your master seems short and to the point, especially in email or text. Could just be our style of communicating always assume the best interpretation of facts.  Its called trust, if you can't trust him, why are you with him. 
Draw him out, encourage him to share his feeling with emphatic guesses such as, "I imagine you were frustrated when you thought...."
STAY CALM SO YOUR MASTER FEELS ITS SAFE TO SHARE EMOTIONS.  We will not share our feelings again if it produced more crying, to us "its making things worse"

When you are speaking:
Difficult as this might be for women, when speaking to your master PARE down your story to essential details, and turn the emotional intensity down.  Use bullet points if it helps you focus.  But we view strong emotions as the first thing to solve, we are more trying to fix the tears and calm you down and essential points are lost in the process.
Ladies, Ladies, tell us what you need, we cannot read your mind.  We always default to advice and problem solve.  So let us know if you just want us to listen. one could say "More than advice and correction now, I need you to just listen"

A True Dom Has:
A Firm Hand
A Firm Mind
A Firm Grip
A Firm Gaze
A Firm Goal
A Soft Heart

In all things
Do no HARM
Strive for perfection that you may achieve excellence.
Live life with joy

Sometimes it's hard to see up under what we go thru and keep in mind that the universe is a friend and on our side. 'The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart,'-Helen Keller

But the most challenging task we face is seeing past the THINGS clamoring for our attention, promising us happiness, that cannot be delivered. Becoming, a being filled with love, having the ability to love so hard it heals, and to be loved back now that is life and it is beautiful.   So those who cannot see the beautiful you, those who would bring their negativity to flavor your life......s.i.m.p.l.y remove them from your life.

Make sure you are NOT in love with the IDEA of the Dominant you think he is
Rather than facing and accepting the REALITY of who this man really is.

Is your time with him a JOY or a DUTY...

Here is  a Healthy Dream in BDSM lifestyle.
To be find someone you can trust enough
to commit to without fear 'Love is the doorway through which the human soul passes from selfishness to service and from solitude to kinship with all mankind' Anonymous

hmmm, There is a phenomena I call it the link. When you are connected to someone so deeply you have constant moments of simultaneity. You find yourself thinking the same thoughts from different perspectives. calling at the same time. Meeting each others needs at a subconscious level. Feeling a deep level of empathy and connectedness... Yeah, the link is tough for Doms.

Forgiving others is for me.
Forgiving others sets me free

If you're really listening, if you're awake to the poignant beauty of the world, your heart breaks regularly. In fact, your heart is made to break; its purpose is to burst open again and again so that it can hold ever more wonders. -Andrew Harvey

Upon further though:
If you're really listening, if you're awake to the poignant beauty of the world, your heart breaks regularly. In fact, your heart is made to break; and it grows stronger with forgiveness and love, bursting open again and again so that it can hold ever more wonders. -Andrew Harv

Be kind to yourself while blooming.
I know sometimes it feels like your soul doesn't always fit.
It's all a part of the process. -Emery Allen

Do not touch me and keep your soul out of your fingertips ...
Die into me, or don't come to me at all. -Oriah Mountain Dreamer
 
Every moment of your existence every moment of you touching
another should breathe fire, passion. The universe is celebrating
your life and the beauty of the dance in the exchange of power and
desire between both partners.
Choose to only dance, live, love,  with people who also bring the fire,
the passion, and stay away from those who drain you and bring
nothing of themselves, risking nothing, they come to you only to take.
flee from such selfishness, it is death

"The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit."

"He that can have patience can have what he will. "

"All things come to him who waits - provided he knows what he is waiting for."

"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish."

"Who would not rather trust and be deceived?"

"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough."

"It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust."

"Trust everybody, but cut the cards."

bdsm HAIKU poems

sizzling whip strikes hot
fiery glow on willing flesh
fading to farewell
***********************
body sings, not heart
she kneels to an empty throne
aching to belong
***********************
without belonging
what is commitment? with it -
trust and surrender
************************
petals bruised and torn
eyes twinkle still and gleam
tears fall, sparkling clean
************************
dimpled, freckled cheeks
lips parted gently, smiling
will she meet your eyes?
************************