cynfulcynthia

Having now read more than 150 messages and profiles, I am a little more evolved in knowing what I like and don't. While not set in stone, here are some basics:

1) I'm not Demi Moore and am not looking for men a lot younger than me (athough, to be honest, the same does not hold true for women. I don't know why I feel that way, I just do). If you are more than 5 years younger than me and 12 years older, I probably wouldn't be that interested.

2) There are hundreds and hundreds of profiles with no pics and very little information about the person. So many profiles are the same and after a few I find them boring and can't even work up the interest to read what little info there is.

3) If you are working on your English grammar, hats off to you! Unfortunately, it is unlikely we would be a good fit. I don't require a Dom/Domme be a mensa member, but am much more likely to be attracted to those who can write well, including use of proper spelling and punctuation.

4) I am a Human Resources professional and one of the things we tell people about applying for jobs is 'show it, don't tell it'. Instead of being like 2 million other profiles that claim "I am strict but fair" share an example "there are no second chances. If you break any of these rules, you will be punished on an escalating scale. On the other hand, obedience is rewarded. Rewards can include being allowed to pick your own clothes for when we go to dinner, being allowed to prepare your favorite food for one meal or being allowed to choose what implement is used for your maintenance spanking on Friday." These are just hypothetical examples, of course.

5) I really don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I'm not a chubby chaser. I go to a lot of trouble to keep myself fit and attractive, and while you don't have to be a gym rat, if you are more than 30 pounds heavier than you should be, I doubt I would be attracted to you. You don't have to be a Robert Redford or Donald Trump to interest me. When I was in university I had a boyfriend who's front teeth were slightly crooked and gave him an endearing look that made me want to kiss him all the time. They didn't impair his ability to use or clean his teeth in any way and they gave him character, so I strongly encouraged him NOT to spend a fortune on an orthodontist.

For a while I was seeing a fellow who worked as a stablehand. He was a salary slave, but he had a way with the animals that made my knees weak. I loved going to the stables with him when he had to work, but soon his boss started hitting on me. Grant and I split up a short time later because he couldn't understand that he was the one I wanted, not that rich, powerful jerk of a boss.

On the other hand, I also dated a highly successful up and coming corporate lawyer who took me to all the best restaurants and cultural events, including the opera and symphony, which he frequently slept through. His only interest in me was that I looked good in a cocktail dress. I found myself much more interested in an older male friend of his, a wealthy retired architect, whom I suspect was privately a Dom. He would order me drinks without asking if I wanted one, always noticed what I wore (and I soon found myself wearing the dresses and shoes he liked) and would tell me interesting stories about the music, the composers or the conductors (this guy knew almost everyone!).

6) Further to what I said above about looking for someone who can write, I am also looking for someone who can read and proves that by reading my profile and only contacting me if you possess the qualities I'm looking for - including a complete and well thought-out profile.

7) If there is something on my profile that doesn't agree with you, pass on by. I am amazed that complete strangers would go to the trouble to message me and tell me I said something wrong or that I can't put my interest as being a slave until I have been one and know how hard that lifestyle is. I've been pretty up front about the fact that I'm extremely new and still figuring stuff out. If you send me a snarky message, I will block you. But if you send me a warm, welcoming messaging with a few sage words of advice, I will be very grateful.

8) It horrifies me to think that there are women (and men, I guess!) who will commit to an Owner/Slave relationship or send off naked photos of themselves to someone they've never met, after exchanging a few messages. While I do have very strong submissive desires, I also have self-respect and self-preservation, so I won't be doing either. I also don't have a webcam. I'll be honest that I have gone back and forth about whether to get one (there are some pretty sexy people out there who make it kind of tempting), but I think I would prefer to wait and play show-and-tell in person. All of the pictures I've posted of me have been taken within the last 2 years.

9) I don't want to sound like Carly Simon, but I'm all woman. I'm not a cow or a pig or a pony or any other livestock or housepet. I also don't refer to myself in the 3rd person or as an inanimate object. If you are looking for someone who will eat out of a dog bowl, keep looking. I understand there are lots of people who are into that and that's great. It's just not for me.

10) Like most women, I am nurturing. I spent many years shopping, cleaning and cooking for my family and friends and get a lot of pleasure from caring for others. These are not activities that have any erotic connection for me, though, and I was fascinated to find them included in BDSM interest list.

11) I love people and find them infinitely fascinating. I wish Doms/Dommes would realize that their individual qualities, interests, and foibles are so much more interesting than the archetypal characters. In general I think I would never relocate, until I come across a profile in which a Dom describes where he lives/travels in a way that entices me to almost want to start packing.

12) As I said, I'm very new and appreciate that my feelings about a lot of things may change over time. But I'm an intelligent woman with a strong sense of self. I'm not looking to completely lose myself in someone else's identity. I imagine this is like the vanilla dating world and 95% of people are not a good match. I'm looking for someone who is very individualistic and who reciprocally is interested in me for all the qualities that distinguish me from thousands of other subs/slaves