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My Husband (Jim) is my Master and Sir G (Sir2091) is my Sir. It's been a long time since I've changed anything on my profile here. And a lot has changed for us in the last couple of years.
I am now with Master and our girlfriend corri (corriann) - and I am poly (with Master's blessing) with another couple, Sir G and giggles. Master and I have been together 27 years, married 24 in September. corri joined us over a year ago, and moved in permanently a few months ago.
Because of our long-term relationship, and because outside problems (money, etc.) get involved, Master and I have our own trials, like any other married couple. I have had a lot of problems personally getting into the submissive mindset after coming home from a high-stress job every day. Master saw it, and saw the dynamics I had with Sir G and giggles, and he allowed me to 'join' them as part of their family - of course, it is when he allows it. I spent a full weekend with them a couple of weeks ago, and it was wonderful!! I very much feel a part of their family, as well as our family. It seems a little complicated, but it seems to be working for us, at least at this time.
Sir G is residing in my head these days, and it's helping put me in a submissive head space - it's been wonderful! And in doing so, it is allowing me to act on that feeling when I'm at home with Master. I am once again finding myself WANTING to kneel at Master's feet, WANTING to do things to please him, WANTING to be the submissive that Master wants. Yet when I'm with Sir G, and he has the 'collar' on both giggles and me, I am also able to act on that submissive feeling. I haven't been so happy in quite awhile.
I have so many things that I'm once again wanting to try, and I'm so glad those feelings are back. I realize many Doms out there don't worry about how their submissives feel. I fortunately have found two wonderful men - Master and Sir G - who are concerned not only with themselves, but with me and my sisters (corri and giggles). And I think right now I am one of the luckiest subbies in the world! |
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Oh, fun, fun, fun! What a fun night! We had 24 people go to the restaurant for the local munch on Saturday, then we lost 1 and gained 2 as we went out the door (people who had been before but weren't able to get off work early enough to come for food). So - 25 ended up at our house for the play party. And what a fun evening! A wonderful couple came up from near St Louis. They brought a new 6-channel TENS unit. And I got to be the test dummy! Doesn't bother me at all to lie totally nude in a room with 25 people and wires running to my pussy - LOL! It was WONDERFUL! We got here around 5:30pm, and the last people left about 2:30am. Yay! It was an electrical night, with 3 TENS units floating around and a violet wand. Of course, my sub sister and I were the only 2 subs - well, the only 2 people - who were totally naked! I love that. Strange. LOL! |
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Cool, cool, cool, cool! I finally got suspension Saturday night - thanks to a couple of our friends who came to our Decatur Munch for the first time. That was a lot of fun - and I was able to freely act as a slut for my Master. What a great evening! I'm looking forward to more of that type of stuff. After the suspension, which lasted who-knows because i was a little busy, LOL - I joined 3 other subs on the massage tables for a group candle waxing by 4 Doms - well, 3 Doms and a possible wanna-be, whom we have known and loved for probably 25 years now. Such fun! I'm really glad we're in this lifestyle! |
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There have been promises of playing harder. I am waiting for that, not very patiently. I have had a lot of thoughts of getting older. I do wish we'd gotten into this lifestyle many years ago. I sometimes just feel like life is passing me by - that while Mentor is trying to teach me patience, I'm just running out of time. I'm really not that old, and I'm in pretty good shape - after all, no one goes running from the room when I undress - LOL! But still - I know I don't have forever, and sometimes that tends to take over my thoughts. I feel that I really wasted a lot of years. I realize that when things happen are when they're supposed to happen. However I still can't help but feel that way sometimes. Oh well.
Enough of that. I'm very much looking forward to playing harder, longer, perhaps someday finding that subspace again. But until then, I'll enjoy each lifestyle event as it happens. |
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First weekend of June was the Decatur Munch. We ended up back at our house, where I was put on the spanking bench. Several people joined in while I was on there for a long time, spanking, flogging, playing, even attempted fisting. I loved it. My headspace wasn't very proper afterwards, though. One of the big things I'm learning is to not have expectations. Since I've always been in control, I've always envisioned how things should go, down pretty much to the last detail. That doesn't work well in this lifestyle - it just sets me up for frustration and disappointment. I've got to get this stuff out of my head and just live each moment, enjoying each moment. Mentor has told me that. He's been such a big help. |
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Memorial weekend we went to Chicago with a group on Sunday for market day for International Male Leather. Wow, that was great. That was our first event full of vendors. Again, it was fun adding to our toybag. |
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Well, it's been awhile since I've added to this journal. A few things have happened. We went to Beat Me in St Louis. I had a very hard time giving up the control after my week in FL. Still Master played with me on Saturday night in the dungeon. First he wrapped me in pallet wrap on a table, and he and a friend did light stick subbie drumming on me while I struggled to free myself - that was fun. I enjoyed being a sub sandwich. Then he took me to a spanking bench. I knelt for quite awhile waiting while he was setting things up. Then he played with me for a long time - it was wonderful. So many of our friends were there, too. We both had a great time. And of course we added to our toy collection with the vendors who were present. |
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My computer's been acting up. Some IT guys who looked at it said windows is getting ready to fail badly. They recommend I use my restore disk - sigh. I suppose I'll have to do that soon. As for fun - I've been in FL most of the week. Sunday night I was fortunate enough to meet with a couple of men who are very prominent in the spankers' group down here. We got along very well, and I ended up with not only a spanking, but my first caning. It was wonderful. I just love this lifestyle. And now - I fly back to St Louis tomorrow to go to Beat Me in St Louis. That should be a lot of fun. I'll have to add more as it occurs over the next few days. |
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What a great evening. We started with the Decatur munch - that was very nice. Then drove a couple of hours to St. Louis for the birthday party of a lifestyle friend down there, at her place complete with dungeon. About 25 people there. Kordi (fetish model of www.kordeliadevonshire.com - a very good friend) told me when she came in that she'd brought some good toys to spank my ass with. And she did. I even got to take the birthday spankings for our hostess - lucky me! :-) And of course I was allowed to run around in my normal attire for parties - my garter belt, stockings and a thong. Clothes are just cumbersome, you know - LOL! Several women ended up at least topless - what wonderful Doms/Masters we have, to make such requests of us - LOL! I told Master that these people are feeling more and more like family - I just love to be around them. There is such good energy there. And we finally arrived home just before 4:00am - what a fun night! |
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Well, that was a lot of fun. At Flog last night, another submissive and i were connected with wrist cuffs and put on the subbie-go-round. Master and another Dom played with us, just letting us enjoy the time. They flogged and spanked and paddled - and even used knives. That was wonderfully enjoyable. The sub i was with is so sweet - i really enjoy both her and her Dom. He stood off to the side and let Master and the other Dom 'do all the work' - LOL! I don't know how long we were there, but it was a great time.
May is going to be busy. Decatur munch then a bday party for a lifestyle friend in St Louis, city playoffs for 9-ball, FL for a week for me only for a work conference and hopefully to meet some lifestyle people while i'm there (Master is trying to set something up), Beat Me in St Louis, IML in Chicago, and Conference in the Cornfield in Bloomington. Wonderful stuff to look forward to. Eh, i guess i'll sleep in June! LOL! |
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Wow wow wow! Had my first knife play with Master and Mentor this evening. And Mentor's girl in Canada was watching on webcam (just plays right into my exhibitionism). I loved it! And I got flogged - and paddled (not my favorite, but when hair is being pulled and a knife - even if it is the backside - is to your throat, you go along with anything). It was marvelous. And of course Mentor kept that spray bottle with alcohol right there to spray over the fresh cuts. It wasn't too bad. Probably the worst is where Mentor smacked my leg, I assume with a paint stirrer (I was blindfolded so couldn't see), to make me keep them open - I have quite the mark on there from that. Oh, that was fun! I am already looking forward to doing it again! |
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Now, to the good stuff. Had a GREAT time at FLOG in St Louis last night. Once a month we drive down there with friends to join the group. Dom Dave had spoken with my Master and requested playing with me at Flog. Near midnight we finally went on stage, where he used wrist cuffs and attached me to the cross he made. He then proceeded to do a very sensual scene, spanking, paddling, flogging, a little knife play (my first), biting/nibbling on my neck, and hair pulling, amongst other things. Unfortunately we didn't have a lot of time because the last scenes aren't to start after midnight, and by 1am they're not only cleaned up, but out of the place. I loved it. It was very sexy. I found myself moving in time to the music, very sensually. I enjoyed knowing that not only was I experiencing this, but I was almost naked in front of a lot of people - ah, that exhibitionism plays in so well! <grin> He whispered in my ear that he could see a two hour session next weekend - mmmmmmm, that sounds wonderful! Next weekend is our Decatur munch, and the after party is going to be at our house. Dom Dave and 1 or 2 of his subs will be staying with us, if all goes well and they're able to come up from St Louis. I can't wait. I'm really hoping for subspace. I've experienced that a couple of times, but would really like to get there again - it was marvelous! |
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Had a bit of a rough spot a week ago, but Mentor helped us with our communcation again, and we're back on track. I also screwed up and acted very poorly, but have since been forgiven for my actions. Mentor told me this would be very hard for me, getting into the sub mindset, since I have almost 26 years of lots of control through Master's and my time together. He was so right. But even if I don't always act as I'm supposed to, I'm at least beginning to realize it, and that's when I kneel at my Master's feet and request forgiveness, and he is pleased that I have even realized my mistake. Mentor, and other local respected Doms, tell me I WILL get it, and I should become a very good sub. I sure hope so. I hate disappointing my Master. I know my actions reflect on him, so I'm really working on this. And my actions, as well as my Master's actions, reflect on our Mentor and his reputation. So - I will work very hard on this. |
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Wow. So much has happened. Public play at Flog. Brazilian, of which I was so afraid (still can't claim it was my favorite thing to do in the world, but my friends helped, especially our Mentor who worked so hard to keep my in the right mindset) - not that I'm in love with a Brazilian wax now, but at least I know what it's about - I still want my hand held --- and I only did it because I knew how much it would please Master! :0
We're working on increasing the intensity of the floggings and spankings now - and I find I really like them! Munches and after-parties are becoming part of our lives, along with me naked! I don't understand why I enjoy that, but the exhibitionism is so cool to me! And so far I've been told that the others in the rooms enjoy it as well! :)
A daily journal is one of the tasks assigned to me by Mentor. I'm finally getting better at doing them - and trying to focus more on my feelings than just the day's happenings. I never kept one as I was growing up, so it's been a struggle for me.
Looking forward to more play! And I'm hoping for some suspension soon - I'm very curious about it. And a lot more rope play - mmmm, love that rope! |
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Went to a weekend event - it was wonderful! That was my first time playing in public. My Dom and i did about 4 different scenes. And another Dom introduced me to the violet wand - shiver! I really enjoyed that! The st andrews crosses were great. I loved it. And I'm looking forward to much, much more! |
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About 2 months ago we met a local Dom who has become our Mentor. With his tutelage, I have experienced my first waxing, my first spanking/flogging, and my first hogtying. My Husband/Dom is 'learning the ropes', so to speak. We are still on the lookout for other couples or other Doms with whom we can play.
We have played by ourselves for many years, using some bondage and other techniques. We have now met some very interesting people, with whom we hope to have more conversations and possibly Real Time Play. However we can always use more friends - and playtime could easily evolve. |
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For those of you who read my profile previously, I made a mistake in my profile! I am a FEMALE.
Sorry!
Cricket |
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