charlyk

Wow, a hell of a year!

What to tell, what not to tell... gosh!

OK, so I wanted to explore more, and I started getting really itchy, and couldn't find a way other than searching on google, to land on the websites of a few pro-dominatrix. All started a few years back, and then I decided one day it's time to see one. I did, and although it was nice, I didn't get the pleasure I wanted. I tried a few more, and then landed on one who gave me so much pleasure.

Things started to evolve, and of course with a pro - she keeps you hooked, and at the same time, makes sure you are not emotionally involved, so that she's still treating you as a client. It's all understandable. She would require me to do things for her, i would comply with her wishes. I did a lot of chastity training and other training to make sure I'm thinking of her and my sexuality all the time.

Anyway, time passed quickly, I spent a lot of money and time with her, until I met a girl on a fetish website, and we started chatting. The girl was a new comer, who wanted to start a pro-domme "career" and fund her higher studies. The first time we chatted, i made it explicit that i am not looking for any paid for relationship, that i already had that experience, and the relationship with the pro domme I'm paying has got to a long degree of trust and mutual knowledge, that i don't really want to have another one in parallel. Not just because of the cost, but also, I had no interest in reinvesting in the same sort of client/sex worker relationship.

So after a few month of meeting up for spicy dates and dinners that always ended up with crazy fetish play, we decided that it's time to take it further and she moved in. She had a high financial interest in moving in, which I recognized, and didn't mind since I was paying for a pro anyway. I thought it is true this will be a financially imbalanced relationship, but it was my first ever experience in that regard, and i thought I'll get much out of it anyway. I was trying hard not to fall in love emotionally. I was 100% sure that the moment she finds some alternatives she won't hesitate leaving me. She was very beautiful and young, and she attracts both boys and girls when we go out, both in vanilla and kinky environment.

The experience was amazing, and no matter how hard I tried, i soon fell in love deeply. Obviously she noticed it, and started pushing the limit further, taking advantage of my feelings and keenest to please her, to extract a lot of gifts and more dining out and fancy restaurants and night clubs, more cloths jewellery. Things started to get to the limit for me financially - so I explained to her that I'm happy to treat her like I'm doing, but we need to be sensible. She sort of backed off on that a bit, but still was expecting a lot of spoiling. I managed to get that back under control to a reasonable degree.

Next thing she started doing is taking me for granted. At some point she was hardly giving me any time at all. And more, the last 2 weeks of our relationship, when we go out together, I was made to feel as just the boy buying the drinks and paying the bills, she would dance with other boys and chat to other boys, who at some points some of them found it appropriate to touch her ass or other parts in vanilla night clubs and bars, while I was standing next by burning with jealousy. I tried to talk to her after those nights out, to explain that this is disrespectful, and I won't accept this. And then I found out that she's planning a whole series of night outs with different people that didn't include me, many to fetish places and parties, and some to vanilla places. I decided that enough is enough. She had to chose between me or her new "single" life. We always lived an open relationship. Which allowed her to have fun when I'm not there. But what that started turning into, is me paying for her lifestyle and she enjoys it with whoever else she meets. I obviously explained that this cannot carry on. She accepted to cancel all that and change because i made it like a 2 choices, and her to chose.

Our last night together, after she had agreed to change and treat me with respect and not take me for granted, we had a really nice start of evening, but then she drank too much, and turned very abusive and offensive. She obviously had accepted to change but was forcing herself to do so. After that embarrassing end of night out, i decided that i can't carry on. We took a taxi back home after she was a complete drunk mess, and when she woke up in the morning i told her we're breaking up and she had to leave.

This is the first time I write about it in details, not all the details but some important ones. I can recognize a lot of mistakes I did. But it's my first experience, and I needed to have one to make the mistakes and learn. And now I'm on the look again. I really enjoyed the first few months of our relationship. She genuinely was making the effort to be appealing to me and my social surroundings. Now I would like to meet someone else.