cerebralissexy

Balance...

Ever elusive and requiring knowledge of self.

Seldom sought but utterly necessary.

Blind cock is everywhere... needy and greedy.. but soulless.

Sex play is the easy part, a look, a smile, a whisper

Power play agilely maintained by innate ability

But balance... of trust between lovers, of sincerity of commitment, of sharing of comfort and support.

Of D/s and true love

Ever elusive.

But possible.

Lust burns in my loins.

I ache...

I need...

I want....

...delft fingers probing slick wetness....

...hot breath inflaming fevered flesh...

...rhythmic tongue assuaging searing need...

and a hungering mouth, greedily slurping the copious outpouring of my pleasure. 

Kneel before Me and Serve.

Worship Me.

Oh, the things I would do....

if you smelled right to me... and I found your form compelling...

if you knelt before me... and your prostration inspired desire....

if you smiled through lowered lashes ... and my wicked thoughts were tempted...

if you gave me free reign... to play in your mind and enslave your body...

How my heart would melt and swell.... and....

Oh.... the... things... I .... would... do!

I sit, legs wide spread, pelvic tilt, thatched roof, above smooth pink walls, openly displayed. you kneel before the chair, nose catching hints of salty sweet musk, eyes trained on delicate fingers displaying the secret folds and inner caverns before setting in to work the flesh into a swollen, weeping, frenzy. The rosebud rises, wet and shining from its hooded sanctuary, to gaze at you, tease you to break command and share a kiss, but you remain kneeling, controlled, a tongue tip away. White creamy flooding pours from hungry red depths before I rise and force you back, back of head and shoulders touching floor, knees bent, feet touching buttocks as you gaze at the ceiling, body arched, creating a perfect mount for my pleasure. With arms palms down on the ground supporting the strain to back and thighs, I assuage my burning need as hot, salt, tears roll gently from your eyes, partly from muscle fatigue and partly from joy at feeling my joy in having you as my own.

Well those who may read my musings, apparently gentleman "X" feels that I like the sound of my own writing too much, I believe an indication that I should discontinue writing my thoughts in this journal, so I bid you all adieu and I will remain silent.... 

As if.... (laughing). The first definition of a journal (courtesy of Miriam Webster online dictionary) is:

a book in which you write down your personal experiences and thoughts.

So, to those of you who appreciate my thoughts... I am honored and grateful, and to those few who disparage... I will say what I wrote Mr.X ... If you have nothing nice to say... be silent... click to the next person whose thoughts you may appreciate.

The alternative journey is difficult. Difficult because of the risks. Difficult because different is not openly accepted. Difficult because while we attempt to expose our innermost selves, we must also maintain a level of anonymity. The journey to find our mate is the hardest of all, the odds against that much greater. For now, we must reveal ourselves, conceal ourselves, and sort through the masses of others in this Lifestyle (loathe that word) who don't suit. Those who just wish to session or fuck. Those who don't really know what they are are about, too immature to know helpful guidance from criticism.  Those who want with eyes bigger than their bellies. But there is also beauty to be found here, on this journey. There is the opportunity to grow in who we are, to learn of things we may not have known before, to meet those who may not be mate  but who are friend. This alone makes the effort worthwhile.

Know yourself and whom you seek. I beseech you to know yourself. So many seek to serve without knowledge of personal limitations or realistic expectation. If you seek a real time FLR, or any relationship, it requires acute, intense, self actualization, and SELF discipline. Know what you bring to the table, read, pay attention to the one you seek to court. KNOW that you are indeed courting favor. Betas are many, Alphas are rare, know what you have to offer that makes you desirable, understand that which your intended values, offer it. So many are oblivious to all but the most base of needs... a blind-eyed cock seeking without thought or skill.. pathetic and offensive, not because they are male, or any of the other silly trappings sought by those who seek the services of a latex clad hooker, but because of the lack of insight and the inability to understand all but crudity. My name of choice indicates Cerebral is Sexy, yet you approach without strategy, without finesse.  This shows lack of understanding, lack of discipline, lack of any of the traits that would make you someone to explore and develop with. Thus I beseech you, KNOW yourself and whom you seek.

As I sit in my bed... under the skylight watching the snow fall... I imagine.... I imagine your body... naked but for my collar, gleaming against your skin from the light of the windows... standing out in the snow... still, quiet, proud, and oh... so... cold... waiting for my signal. Standing tall arms and legs spread, as the wind runs like knives over your flesh... slicing without leaving a trace... face, arms, legs, feet, torso, testicles... so shriveled and tight... agonized... but then the light flicks... once, twice, but not thrice... hopes dashed... not the signal. So you continue to wait. You wait for three flashes of light, the sign indicating that you have done well, that I am very proud of your heroism in facing down the elements.. showing your strength of will, of endurance, of perfect obedience. Waiting for the signal that soon you will be embraced by warm arms, wrapped in a warm mouth, pillowed by warm breasts, engulfed in warm pussy... beloved of a warm heart.

Sometimes after sunset... I feel the golden chain of arousal that runs from my groin to yours. I imagine that as I swell...  you swell. I feel the pulsing ache that causes a sweet agonizing pain deep in my womb, yearning to be filled and think of the corresponding stretched shining skin of your shaft, a deep plum head, eye open , drop glisten that answers the call of my loins. I am impatient to be relieved... no foreplay... no tongue... just hot smooth shaft... bulbous head... hard... deep... jack-rabbit fast.... first... second... third orgasm... rapid fire succession... and then sleep... careless that your balls are indigo, your shaft vermilion, the veins near to burst, the need beyond reason... I am content... and you will rejoice that I am well satiated, sleeping blissfully as you ride out the need and tend to your duties.

I find humor in the approach made by some. Often those who feel they are Dom... no greeting, no courtesy... at times a pathetic bid to top through crass name calling... others a laundry list of what they think I "need". I chose Domme for this site, because it best fit my nature. I am Alpha female, born as I am... rare... and very comfortable with myself and others. My power is always my own. Because of my nature, those who are beta seek to submit to me, and I find the symbiotic relationship gratifying... not because the sub does not have value (we all have value, have our place)... but because natural hierarchy makes it so. I am also aware that for a true Alpha Male... my nature will compel me to "present" and that the dynamics will be extraordinary, but the likelihood is small, as natural Alpha Males are just as rare. That said... wanting to beat me doesn't make an Alpha... neither does wanting to gag me on one's cock...  or violate my rectum... etc... etc....it just makes one a horny man with locus of control issues... and in reflex.... rather..... uninteresting..... except for the initial chuckle at the clumsy attempt.

My dreams have me vexed... and heated. Last night I dreamed that as I slept you quietly stroked your aching cock... even though I had politely informed you with a little kiss that while there would be lavish attention, stroking, fondling, and oral ministration to edge you through the night, there would be no release this day, all the better to enjoy you in the morning. And yet, there you were, with the moonlight illuminating the curves of my body, you peep and hurriedly stroke and squeeze, cupping the purple head with your hand, as you slid your opposite palm along the rod, all intention to catch, swallow, and hide the evidence. A desperate bid for release, against My orders, defying My will. But you forget how keen my olfactory senses are... how well I know you... how in tune to your body I am... and as the musk rises and warm jets fill your palm... I awaken and command your gaze. Knowing my wrath will be insidious, you are terrified, but the orgasm rushes through you, more intense than ever, and you are helpless to control it, and in your excitement and terror, some of your cum falls through your fingers and lands on my sheets....you crouch there, helpless, palm full of goo, now cooling in the night air, electric tremors passing through your balls to your shaft, the head sweetly pulsing with aftershock, the muscles in your arms and legs tense and weak at the same time, half worried you'll void and make an even bigger mess... half hoping you will... as I calmly turn to my side, keeping your gaze imprisoned, contemplating your fate.

It's cold, and my mind is weary. I don't wish to study any further, but my project is due by midnight and there is work in the morning... I grow exhausted. Tonight you sit behind me in bed as I write and review my research, legs spread, surrounding me, utterly naked and without adornment, acting as my back rest, the warmth of your chest relaxing the tension in my spine. you are trained to my needs, and when I tilt my head, you know to use your beautiful hands to knead the delicate web of musculature that connects shoulder to neck. As I lean into your hands, it signals I will permit your lips at my throat, allow you to kiss my nape ever so delicately and whisper your adoration gently in my ear before resuming position as my bed pillow, supporting me as I achieve, enchanting me with the silent proof of your adoration and restraint, nestled, desirous, dripping, and aching against the cheeks of my buttocks. Ever rampant, but willing to wait upon my convenience, proof of your perfect submission.

Today I am tired, and my feet hurt unbearably, shopping does not suit me, I would much rather be shopped for. Thus my thoughts are on the tenderest of foot service, warm strong hands, fragrant vanilla scented oil, gently kneading and working the muscles from tippy toes to groin, releasing the tension and discomfort, moving ever upward to buttocks, back, belly breasts, shoulders, arms, and neck. If done well, and my legs part, you may begin again, but this time with your tongue, patiently, thoroughly, careful to please and not tickle. Laving interspersed with feverish kisses, the rub of your cheek against my derriere, your eyes closed in bliss, breathing in the scents of warm vanilla and female musk. Should I roll over to my back, and draw up my knees, you may worship after saying grace. you will not stop until I flow like a river of honey, until the bed below is drenched with your saliva and my nectar, knowing you will lay in that spot when it is time to sleep. But cumming from your oral skills will not be enough this night, even my insides need massage, and you will use that which stands stiff between your legs, ever eager, ever ready in my presence, to bring me to yet another orgasm, straining, pumping, in a front leaning rest, as I relax beneath you, making you do all the work. And as I coat your shaft with a rich layer of cream, I may allow you to cum, if you beg me prettily enough, and tell me how very grateful you are to be Mine, as always, you will leave me as pristine as you found me, and let me taste the heady mix of our pleasure from your lips when you have completed your service. 

For some odd reason, reading, studying in particular, excites me, or rather, while I'm reading, random thoughts that I find most arousing drift and flow until I must put the book down and take the time to satisfy the need. So, thoughts today were such.... I want my man, naked as always, but for the sweetest of black silicon rings around his cock and balls, with a lovely black bow tie around his neck, graciously serving my tea, standing proudly and erect, at bedside, with the most delicate of silver serving platters upon which my porcelain cup rests. I would be reclined against the pillows, computer tray over my lap, casually removing and replacing the cup upon the tray between sips, sliding the occasional glance at the swollen penis beside me, ensuring that it continues to maintain optimal hardness and suitable levels of pre-cum through eye contact and perhaps the random touch of my hand, across the shaft, or manipulating the little glass plug, through which even your insides are transparent to my knowing. I enjoy the knowledge that you are struggling to hold position, without moving, hopeful that my pleasure in your obedience will result in my granting you favor, knowing you are torn between wanting to taste me, and wanting to be taken by me. Knowing that I will only grant one favor for such a small and perfect service and almost wishing to fail so that the burden of choice is no longer yours.... but your desire to make me happy is stronger even than your wish for release from the choice.

So followers of my journal, tell me... what would you choose?

Feeling very... playful this morning. I am quite pleased with the style and grace shown by many of those who seek to serve, and yet... the ridiculous arrogance of some... is laughable. Personally, I do not require or even desire to have a sub-mate that is "nothing" or "mindless", for me... where is the fun, the joy, the artistry in owning or molding that? There is a distinct difference between providing perfect obedience and being mindless. A mindless creature is merely a doll... for $6000 I can purchase an anatomically correct doll for $6010, it can come with batteries. I enjoy intelligence and opinion, it is the wisdom to know how to present one's opinion with reverence that distinguishes the remarkable from the hum-drum. There are some (usually easily predicted) who have no idea how to court the favor of a Domme; whining, selfish, seekers of instant gratification, who oddly enough (laughing wryly) like to mention that they can never find a real Domme....never once realizing that it is because they are the common denominator. I am very deliberate in my communications, I want to see if there is self-discipline, patience, playfulness, flexibility, obedience, and intelligence. How one responds tells me much about the qualities they bring to the table. My time is valuable to me, and filled with more than seeking the perfect mate. I do not make my living as a Domme. I have a very demanding professional life and enjoy time with my family and friends. I want to quickly eliminate unfit characters. Which brings me to another unacceptable behavior from one who seeks to serve, while my preference is not for those who wish to be mindless, it does not for one minute mean that it is okay to disparage others for having different needs, different desires. One shines on one's own merit, not on the disparagement of others. That said, most on here are true gentlemen, and very impressive, would that they lived closer, that I could get more than my words upon them.... (sighing in delicious thoughts of wickedness).

Having been active on CM for five months now, I find that perhaps my needs are changing somewhat. Lately, I have begun to think I would enjoy ownership of a manservant... think in terms of Batman's Alfred. Distinguished (though not necessarily older) and elegant, accomplished at house and yard work, VERY discrete in front of my family and friends... but utterly mine for personal pleasure in the boudoir, slave to my every whim. hmmm... tantalizing thoughts...

I find I am growing impatient to find my beloved....looking at the amazing devices for adorning and stimulating my man on extreme restraints and other websites that cater to the lustful bent. The visual beauty of the steel, and glass, and leather... I want to fulfill my Female need to shop and then to enjoy the benefits of my purchases looking so erotic as they grace your flesh... and so divine upon me.... but alas... finding the "one" takes time... for now the window shopping is fun and feeds the imagination for when we make that connection. 

Some musing upon awakening this evening... I am working the overnight tour temporarily to cover minimum staffing requirements... graveyard shift... sleeping during the day leaves me groggy, with aches in my mid- lower back and hips when first getting up... you would know this... and when it is time for me to rise would gently curl up behind me, moving my hair to the side and nuzzling the crook of my neck with little kisses while your bare flesh warms my body as I sprawl primal and naked diagonally across the king-sized bed. After a few moments your hands would begin to knead the kinks from my neck and shoulders, working my body down through my hips and thighs. At this point, I would roll over and stretch and you would begin to massage my chest, and breasts, belly, and thighs. you would scent me... and the urge would be too great... your fingers, working the delicate flesh near my nether lips, would plunder and steal nectar without consent... Instantly, my eyes would snap open as my hand grabs your hair by the back of your head, your fingers still in your mouth; frantically sucking the taste of me. I see your fear and your knowledge of your trespass. I part my legs and bring your mouth to the place you have violated... you serve me until I shudder and your face shines wet... then I ride you hard until we both are spent. As you lay there, dozing, I retrieve the strap-on... greased just at the tip for my ease, not yours... and I push you face down and penetrate you, quickly, not in reward, but in discipline, one hand pinning you to the bed on the small of your back. The pain of unprepared invasion and the pleasure of having your prostate massaged cause you to orgasm as your cock slides against the sheets. you must suck your spill from the silky cotton. Then will I permit you to cuddle in my arms and suckle if you chose so that you know I still love you while you thank me for your lesson and tell me how sorry you are for your impudence. 

Know me-

     I have been preoccupied with real life endeavors these past few days, most of which were lovely. To those of you I failed to responded to, my deepest apologies. I find myself frequently answering the question of what I am looking for, so I have decided to describe a day in the life of what I want. I am not a Domme in the sense of the word that I see many here expressing. It is not for me to judge what makes others tick, but I will say that I do not come from a place of fear, or loathing, of myself or the opposite sex, nor do I find joy in causing other's pain. With the right man I can offer the gift of perfect submission in the bedroom, though my Chi is strong and I will never accept less than partnership, which is why I am open to a relationship with a Dom, though I it would only work if He were a true Alpha Male and I will much enjoy the right sub. I am an Alpha female, primal. I feel that submission of one to another in the context of a LTR is an act of deepest love and that  a sub is a person to be cherished for the gifts of adoration and service they provide. In return for those gifts the Dominant provides security and attention to the needs of the sub in the form of the limitations, restraints, and disciplines required to intensify the joy of the sub. Can I beat you? The answer is yes, but only if that is what you require to feel release, contentment, or joy, and I will find pleasure in providing my beloved that which makes them happy. I have never before taken a sub (consciously) and wish to choose well, choose once, and make a lifetime commitment within the bounds of a monogamous relationship. I only wish to bestow a collar once in my lifetime. 

     I enjoy the refined mind fuck. I require an intelligent, mentally flexible individual who can balance the dance of entwined vanilla and erotic with me. I am very flexible in my thinking and will always be open to consider new areas of exploration. I like physical beauty. I find function without form a true death. I am intensely sensual and find olfactory plays a keen role in sexual excitement. I will smell you upon meeting to see if your scent appeals.I like nuance and ritual and find that it heightens intensity.

     So, how I see a typical day...

     It is five thirty am, you awaken me by bringing a cup of tea and place it bedside, neatly upon the tile coaster. You then gaze upon me, notice if my nipples are relaxed or hard, are my legs closed or parted, do you smell my scent... if soft and relaxed, you begin to massage my limbs and back placing kisses along my nape and spine, slowly increasing the intensity as you watch for signs of my arousal. Once my nipples are tight and you begin to scent me... you may suckle.... strongly, and kiss your way between my legs... I like to orgasm at least once at the beginning and end of my day. Once you have tasted my orgasm... you will kiss me that I may share the nectar. At this point you will fuck me hard and I will enjoy receiving you. I would prefer that you cum, though you will clean me well, and again I would share the taste of us from your lips once cleaned. I would caress and hold you and praise you for your service for a few minutes. At this point you would fetch your jewelry case and kneel beside the bed and offer it up to me that I may select that which will adorn you for the day. I like what is mine to look beautiful and to know that I own them... always. I am particularly fond of many of the pieces on TheRimbastore.com. I will then select and adorn. If I am particularly pleased with your service, I may allow you to select and present you preference. After we will shower and leave for work.

     During the day you will text me to ask for permission to use the bathroom, to eat, to caress yourself, to inform me of what excites or thrills you, to adore me. I will enjoy talking you through orgasm as I listen while you are at work.

     That evening you will make dinner, and I will caress you and talk will be of the day, light, with laughter, and a quiet undertone of intimacy. My children are older, but they reside with me and are a huge part of my life, and you will have a good relationship with them, you are someone they can look up to and admire, perhaps you also have children who will be present, and I will strive to be a good role model for them as well, and I will love them as I love you, and we will enjoy eating and watching TV, or going to a show, or getting together with friends, or whatever the evening brings.

     At bedtime we will go to our room... you will kneel before me and present me with my coffee, after which you will be on all fours, naked, but for the collar and adornment from this morning. You will serve as my side table while I read or study, my cup balanced on your back and I will errantly caress your cock and balls as I read. It will give me pleasure to see you thus, cock hard, straining, and dripping onto the dark wood floor. You will clean the puddle when I give permission. 

     If dinner is particularly good, or you have done very well at work (I like to feel proud of my possessions), I will allow you to go to the toy box to select what you wish for reward. Perhaps you wish to be bound and oiled and flogged, or perhaps you wish to bend over the foot-board of the bed and feel me take you with that beautiful glistening strap on you have prepared with your mouth and shortening? Perhaps you simply wish to crawl between my legs and nuzzle, or curl up in my lap and suckle. Or rub yourself against my foot as you lap the toes of my other foot. I will be pleased to provide, and will be liberal with my praise of you. You will have made me happy in making me feel proud of  you. My heart will swell with joy at your adorable wonderfulness. You will, of course, be properly appreciative of my attention, and will service me orally and with your cock before bed. I have a very high libido.

     If you displease me, fail to perform your duties, or shame me with half-assed work... I will discipline you. You will not find discipline fun. I may ignore  you. Make you sit in the corner. Take away your adornments for the day so that you are unbound to me. I may favor others with my flirtations while you watch. Did I mention I prefer my pet to enjoy my undivided attention in the bedroom?

   I hope this give some idea of what I am about and how I wish to live my life with the right partner.

Note: I realize this is not for everyone. In fact, I provided this insight to allow those who do not share my vision to quickly pass by. I do not need to know that this is not your cup of tea. If not, I wish you well in finding what is and bid you to please click to the next profile.