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Callmesweettea

		Back		Interests



	My main hobbies include Reading (mainly fantasy/sci fi), Gaming (Mmorpgs to MUDs), Anime among other nerdy type things. I can be sweet, kind, caring & sometimes sassy ;-p I am thick & curvy. I know what I like & what I want. I am not into playing pretend since I can do that all by myself. If You are full of BS, I shall tell you, No time for Stupid :p I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before. Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all. You never know if you never try, To forgive your past and simply be mine. I dare you to let me be yours, your one and only. Promise I'm worthy, to hold in your arms. So come on and give me a chance, To prove that I'm the one who can... Walk that mile until the end starts :) This fantasy, this fallacy, this tumbling storm, Echoes of a city that's long over grown. I edited my profile today, deleted a lot of shit. I'm a Real person. I'm honest and sincere, Often too honest. Yes, I do have a Yahoo, MSN, Skype etc. Will I use them.. uh no! You know what.. add me if you want.. See you when I log in, lol. @ Callmesweettea

I am really trying my best to better myself, to be a better me :) I'm discovring and experiencing new things. Learning a lot about myself. I thought I knew myself very well but there seems to be much more to discover! lol.

I often find CM to be a joke. All these "Doms" & "Subs" just looking for wank fodder or a quick fuck. Good luck with that. I'm not playing that game.

I think I may add this in some variation to my profile. I have had it, I'm fed up with this shit. H## DISCLAIMER## I'm going to say this because of MY experience: I am not into random booty calls, casual sex, fwb etc. ## If I offend you with my statement, my bad. blame the retards, not me. I need to make this as clear as the English language allows. Before I give out my number, Yahoo, Skype etc. to see if we are even on the same page. Dear Random Stranger, If you want to insinuate sexual acts, then I will insinuate my own Motherfucking demands. I don't know you and don't give a shit. I'm too old for the games, too experienced for the "tricks". I won't fall for your lies. I'm done playing nice and polite. Fuck you, *Sweettea*

New journal/blog entry on FL @ callmesweettea

It's not just about whether I will ever find someone who thinks I am worth something. it's also about if I think I am worth it. Whether someone somewhere someday be able to see the value in me? Hope is a bitch. Often leaving you with despair instead.

*And it's peaceful in the deep*and it's breaking over me. A thousand miles down to the sea bed. *Never let me go, never let me go. It's over! I'm not giving up, I'm just giving in! * So cold & so sweet, in the arms of the ocean! * Deliver me! And it's overrrrr! I'm not giving up! I'm just giving in! Never let me go! (Florence + the Machine)

First thing I want to say is.. I will never ask you for anything. Money or material things. I don't care how much I might go into the shitty day I might be having. With that being said, I really love Florence + The Machine! Every one of their songs is awesome.

What does it feel like? - Part 2 - What I seek is my hearts desire. To feel you, to taste you. I want to feel you grab my hair and pull me in for a kiss. I want to feel the weight of your hands on my head as you push me down to taste you for you. To feel you dry a rhythm you desire. I want to hear your pleasure, to know you like the way it feels. I want to feel your strength as you pull me up again for a hard kiss & toss me to the bed and your hands on my body.. Turning me where you want, in the position you want as I just want to please you. I want you to say the words I long to hear, the words that send a shiver down my spine. To tell me I am yours. Words I believe. Hands I can feel.. As I give my heart, mind & body to you. Nothing held back, No reservations. Just a dream :-)

Know what's really annoying? Lies. I can't stand them. I feel a real man has no need to lie, front, fake to acquire what he wants. Lying implies insecurity & weakness. If your word is garbage, then so are you. Inability to know what you really want makes for stupidity. Just my opinion :-) Say what you mean & mean what you say. To do otherwise is childish.

Something I wrote awhile back.. La La Land - I lay my hands on my head, My head hanging down. So tired.. Feels like the weight of the world on my shoulders weighing me down. I wish, I pray, I dream. Yet when I open my eyes, it's all still the same. I write, I sing, I dance. I read, I blog, I eat. I live, yet I am not living. I am just surviving, And survivng is often not enough. I want to play, dance, sing, rest. I want to drive, write, cook and love. I need more than survival. I need to do more than snatch such few rare moments to stay sane. I fight for my sanity day in and day out. I battle anxieties at every turn. Yes, I still sing, Yes, I still dance. But I do it to shut out the world, the hurt, the stress, the loss. I read to escape,I do my gaming to forget.. if just for awhile.. my troubles. I write.. So that my downward spiral into LaLa Land can be recorded somehow. I just want to get it back, So carefree I was, So faithful, So sure.. It would all be okay. Today all I have is doubt. Doubt in everything and of everyone. My heart and mind shuns disappointment and joyful hope. Because the fall from those highs is oh so painful and excruciating. Yes, I sing, I eat, I live. But for how long? Will there come a time when I sing and dance and chat all to myself? While pushing a cart down the street. Happy as can be in my escape from reality. The ultimate escape. Maybe I am already there.. One of those ladies and all that is holding it all at bay is a cigarette. To be one of those who have given up, on hope, on life, on love. To be one of those who cannot see the ugliness of this world and its more than useless denizens, because it is too much to bear. To join the ranks of the crazies, to argue with ones bags and luggage. To laugh at a trees jokes as if we were the best of friends. Fighting invisible assailants and seeing things noone else can. to chose to forget all of this worlds pettiness and selfishness. To be one of those crazy ladies, maybe with a bunch of cats or a bunch of hats. Sometimes this worlds truths are too much. Maybe, just maybe, To truly not give a damn what people think.. Might there not be bliss, might one be even closer to god when we can no longer see this world as it is? who knows.. But they say.. the lord wont put more on you than you can handle.. So I wait and I live and I see... I wait for one or the other.. I wait for my breaking point to bend no more I be done with it all.. I wait for Jesus to save me... I pray, I dream, I eat, I live. I sing and I dance. I write and I cry.. Waiting ..