::ATTENTION::
Sending a one liner will result in me ignoring you.
Calling and not leaving a message will result in me ignoring you.
If you are so lucky as to be given my number, YOU MUST text first providing your user name.
If you sent me a prebooking question, please keep in mind that I prioritize booking requests over questions. I refuse to be your penpal for your own personal gain. Shit or get off the pot.