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I have been collared. Feeling anti-social with the cyber community at this time. Currently too busy with my real life.
Update: I am no longer "accepting anymore?applications" (from Doms/Dommes). I have been collared. |
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An ode to Master. Who ironically first had me listen to this song.
Slave to Love by Lords of Acid
You made me your servant
Your submissive slave of love
All dressed up in leather
Anxiously waiting in cuffs
Come on break me
I must worship at your feet
I want you to take me
In our dungeon we will meet
It's a lusty crime
But it feels devine
Beat me one more time
Nasty shivers run down my spine
Make me crawl on the floor - break me
Make me scream for more - take me
You rule. I adore - use me
Use me, abuse me
Make me sing with pain - break me
Make me go insane - take me
Make me shout your name - use me
Use me, abuse me
You're my master
I'm submitting all of me
Blindfolded and naked
In my bondage I'm set free
Loving as you bind me
Waiting patiently
Praying that you'll take me
Into pain and ecstasy
It's a lusty crime
But it feels devine
Beat me one more time
Nasty shivers run down my spine
Make me crawl on the floor - break me
Make me scream for more - take me
You rule. I adore - use me
Use me, abuse me
Make me sing with pain - break me
Make me go insane - take me
Make me shout your name - use me
Use me, abuse me |
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I am such a happy slave right now. Besides the fact that I am basically now divorced (even though it won't be official until December), I got to spend time with Master and had a great time. *smiles & looks dreamily out from sub-space* |
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I officially hate people. You jerks know who you are. So rude. I do not and will not prove myself, when I have no intention of talking to a rude dominant from out of state who calls me a liar!!! |
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Well my life has become a little easier. I am divorcing my Vanilla husband among other things. |
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It's funny how people cannot even read my headline. I am collared and very happy with my Sir. He doesn't mind if I look for a sub sister, and even become friends, but these so called Doms need to stop messaging me asking (and sometimes telling) me to be trained by them. I have tried to be nice so far, but if it keeps happening, I will have to be rude. Sir can view my account if he wishes. I don't mind talking to Dominates, but you need to respect my boundries. I will not talk about scenes I have done, nor past experiences. I do not have a reason (nor desire) to talk about my experiences with complete strangers. I have outlets (of which Sir knows about) that I use to process my experiences. |
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Even though I know I'm not, I feel so alone and am confused. |
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I just want to get away from everything Vanilla right now. It just creates a lot of heart ache and mistrust. |
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Why are Vanilla relationships so damn difficult? I just found out that my husband used to be in the lifestyle, but got out of it when his son was born. It's funny how you never really know someone... and yet they want you to change your core being. |
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Well the husband still won't give me any. It will be 4 months on the 6th. I try and try and try and still don't get anything. I just feel useless. Nothing I say or do is right. I think I just pissed him off again. I hate feeling like this. I wish he would just let me be me... |
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Well yesterday was a trip. My husband decided to be spontaneous (for once) and took me to Bodega Bay. It was wonderful. We stopped and bought some smoked peppered salmon, a steamed crab, a baguette of french bread and some chips, and then went down the road and had a picnic on the beach. The view was beautiful. Though I get very worried when he gets spontaneous. He rarely, if ever is. Especially since he had been distant the previous 2 days.
Even though I talked to him yesterday (only briefly because of the hubby), I miss talking to my Sir. He is so amazing and sexy. When I'm with him I feel as if I could do anything, just because he wants me to. I can't wait to see him this week, but at the same time I am a little scared by what he will have in store for me.
He wants me to work on my pain management, and I know that I will most likely be crying by the end of it. (I used to have more of a pain tolerance, but it has subsided with inactivity.) This probably sounds stupid from a sub stand point, but I hate to feel weak. I love not being in control and helpless, but to me crying, I feel is weak. Not being able to be strong and take my licks. *sighs*
Alas though I am his ball of clay and I do want to be molded to his liking. If me being weak will cause me to become stronger, then I will do it for him. |
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