Collarspace

So since my name probably gives most of the game away, let me talk about my non-kinky side first. I work as a vet technician, I love animals and medicine, so being able to combine those two things is amazing. I do a lot of writing, I maintain a blog full of review about games, movies, and TV shows. Working on a book, which is just tortuous, and Im more into doing the torturing than suffering it, so just to give you an idea of how passionate I am about writing. I also love to dance, which is never something I thought Id like, but after going to my first class three years ago Im hooked. I dance Salsa, Bachata, Rumba, Foxtrox, Tango, and Waltz. Im looking for a permanent dance partner to both practice with and go out dancing with. In an ideal world, Id love for my dance partner to be my romantic partner as well, because dancing is easily one the most romantic things Ive experienced. But hey, even if it doesnt work out that way, just having someone to dance with would be amazing.

But onto the main event. As youve probably guessed from the names, I love spanking, and its what initially got me into the kink community. Unfortunately Im also not satisfied with a few simple smacks and an ass thats only bright pink. No I definitely need to see a deep shade of crimson and hopefully some bruising. Yet despite the fact that canes, paddles, and whips produce those marks more easily, my favorite implement remains my hand. Being able to feel the impact, massage your bottom afterwards, and feel it grow hot and swollen, well thats just magical to me.

spanking is just the tip of the iceberg. Ive been yearning to explore much darker desires as well, consensual nonconsent (rape fantasy), all kinds of torturous ideas Id love to inflict, humiliation play, and the list goes on. Yet I still struggle with a lot of doubt, and guilt, about this side of my personality. In everyday life, Im so worried about hurting other people that I always choose my words carefully, because I know exactly the kind of damage they can do. Yet in the bedroom, with a woman I love, I want to do all kinds of terrible things to her to make leave her a shivering, crying mess on the floor. And Im still trying to reconcile those two very different mindsets the part of me that wants to treat everyone with love and respect, and the part of me that wants to hurt and humiliate the one I love.

Which is what has brought me here looking for friends and mentors who can help me explore and understand this part of my personality in a safe and sane way. And perhaps even find someone who wants to be that girl I leave sobbing on my bedroom floor.