' Implosion'   This intense energy approaches implosion   A carnal urge to close this empty space between us  I crawl on hands and knees to be your prey   To draw out the beast in you, devour me   Make love to my greedy mouth  Let me drink your salty, fierce essence  Rip the clothing from my burning flesh   Your intense stare burns me from inside out   My sweaty skin pressed up against a wall  Taste me, drink me, swallow me  Draw out all the breath in my lungs  Your lips glistening with traces of me  Your hands on my hips with a bruising force  Show no mercy, give in to your darkest desires  Bite hard on my lip, I taste you, I taste me in your mouth   Raw animalistic need, every sense on fire   Drive hard into the deepest part of me  Thighs shaking, flesh tightening all around you  Rip the helpless cries from my mouth   As the roar builds inside of your chest  Let go, harder, deeper  Implode...  

It cracks, and beaks, and is thus a new pain is born. Shove this new found pain deep in my dirty mouth..take it, take all of me..and as you break me, will you take my hand And be with me through an obscure, painful & sadistic transformation..where you set fire to me.. the fortress you must burn, and I shall serve there on hands and knees, no food, no water, made to survive on the stern hand of my master...Sweet ashes to sweet embers...

'AWAKENING' Too long I have fought to keep my head above water. Using every bit of strength to keep from drowning. Only to flail helplessly in a vast darkness that threatens to consume me. Gasping for air while salt water laps at my wounds. With each last desperate surge of fight, something else breaks. Finally there is no flesh left to rip, and nothing left to break. I am broken. A wounded animal waiting for a stroke of mercy. Waiting for a resolution above the darkness that will never come. Because mercy and light are not found above water. They are found by surrender, and submitting to the darkness, and letting it take you. Completely letting go of everything you know, and everything you were. I give myself to the unknown, known, I see in this darkness, myself, every scar, and every flaw. For in this darkness, there is light.. and not the fluorescent poison we have been made to believe is light. But the light you find when it is eclipsed by the dark. The light where you find other kindred souls, like yourself. Your pain to them, is beautiful. They lick your sweet tears, and are bound to your awakened state of consciousness. I surrender all of me. I embrace the darkness, I take comfort, and solace there. I have been dead for 30 years. I am broken, and so, reborn. I start to feel, and can almost taste, this world that is now mine. This shelter I have sought endlessly, I will leave the fear behind. I am ready to learn, ready to feel, ready to see...For my eyes have begun to open.

'SURRENDER' Some days your cruel I love you's choke me Like breathing poisonous fumes from a fire I inhale so deeply, for the choice is not mine Clinging to a reality that died before it's birth This exchange of power, Its your triumph today Tomorrow I'll reclaim this broken, empty throne But for today I shall kneel at your tired feet My ever so distant, and cold hearted king Teach me to cold..to embrace the pain To never look upon you again, to walk away Like a salt to a festering wound, it burns These scars you tear open again, and again Let me go my king, you will never love me Let me breathe my sweet air of ignorance again Your I love you's pull me beneath the surface I lay here wide open, vulnerable only for you But you walk away and leave me to the vultures Save me, love me, need me.. Hurt me, wound me, breathe me, hold me.. I try to let go, but you already have all of me I will swallow this sour pain that chokes me I surrender all I have left my cold hearted king