For centuries, men have subject women to inequitable social and expectations in relationship. It's time for men to experience the other end of that, including:
-Placing your partner's hobbies and interest above yours.
-Maintaining a clean home with limited if any help from partner
-Being verbally corrected or slapped for not meeting partner's expectations
-Wearing clothes pleasing to partner while they wear what's comfortable
-Shaving/waxing/depilating to partner's preference while partner is natural
-Keeping a smile through bad moods while bearing the brunt of partner's moods
-Covering own odors with cleaning and perfumed products while embracing partner's natural musk
-Ensuring partner has frequent and satisfying orgasm while rarely or never experiencing them
-Frequent oral with enthusiastic swallowing and without reciprocation
I'm sure I'm missing others and hope this list will grow.
i am not asking for much as i search for a Mistress/OwnerCouple that truly wants a slave to serve 24/7/365. i know that it is not possible due to interaction with vanilla friends and family. You will have rules and protocols that will be in place which, i will follow at all times. You will not be embarrassed in public, all others will see is a very attentive and devoted partner. You will always be a priority as i do enjoy service, be it as a butler or Lady's maid.
Ideally Mistress will be strong, confident and enjoy controlling every aspect of my (or its) life. The one i serve and hopefully love will be the center of my life. i will live to serve, pamper and please You anyway i can. This is not a fantasy it is who i am as a person and what i feel inside me. i knew that i was different as an early age, 12 when i began masturbating.
i work best with rules, consequences and protocols. For the most part these will cover 90% of my behavior and social interactions. It should not be a chore to own a slave, but pleasurable, and enjoyble being worshiped for the Queen that You are.
Hopfully You believe in Female Supremecy for You're strong Woman. You don't need a man but want a man that willingly submits to You in every way, supports Your goals and aspirations and removes obstacles to Your goals. This kind of relationship takes trust, that develops over time not in a week. You will be making all decisions for me and us; that trust is critical but nonetheless it is what i want and need. The need gets stroger and stronger over time. From age 12 i have evolved as a submissive to a slave.
You should have a strong desire to dominate and this is critical, does a naked man or woman kneeling before You begging to please You turn You on? Is there a tingling in Your loins, a twitching that oozes Your wetness in and uncontrolable desire to dominate .. me.
You should be kinky and desire to explore different fetishes, maybe even some taboo play. i have few limits and want to explore as much as possible. i am experienced so don't tkae that the wrong way.
Hopefully the right Mistress/Owner reads this and thinks, hey this guy is describing me.
I am a Femdomme. looking for submissives to serve me. I do not step lightly into relationships and seek to move very slowly. I love dinning out, attending the theater, live music and dancing. If your desire is to try out all of your sexual fantasies and your desires center your needs Without understand that my level of dominance involve a power exchange dynamic, I'm not interested in you. The submissives I find the most attractive and useful are those who understand service. Who have skills in domestic art. cooking, cleaning, organizing, butler/valet skills. submissives who thrive on being given direction but can problem solve without being micro managed. Im not a mommy Domme, if you are emotionally immature and haven't done a considerable amount of inner work on yourself. If you believe there is no inner work to be done. We will not be a good fit.
Im not comfortable going into details about my style of training in online message exchanges. I have had my time wasted by others who only wish to be escape their time hiding in the closet by using me to have just a taste of what this lifestyle can be. To those of you playing this out. I'm not going interested in exploring in cyberspace with you. I SEEK TO ESTABLISH REAL IN PERSON RELATIONSHIPS.
I am not online a lot. I have a full life that doesn't allow for me constantly be checking my messages on this site so if you send me a message or we started an exchange and I haven't responded it's because I'm living life. I'm not staring at a screen. Please understand that this is not me that I am uninterested in you. It means that I am moving at the pace of real life, not the Internet. I assure you that if I am uninterested in you, you will know I will tell you.
I have been in the BDSM lifestyle for over 30 years. I've seen a A beautiful underground lifestyle turned in into something completely different when the Internet became involved. we needed to have guts to be part of this lifestyle back then you needed to step out of your comfort zone and enter a public situation or private party or contact a professional dominatrix through a newspaper ad. You couldn't just sit behind your computer and fantasize.
I wish you all well in your search! May we all find what we desire and need!
Last week, someone asked me who I was as a Dominant. Of course I could give a quick answer, but I found that I needed and wanted to go deeper. I found I wanted to reconfirm my values and challenge myself to really define why I do this and who I want to be in my role. If I am willing to ask a sub to be genuine in their role, then I can do no less than look deeper and find a better answer? So here goes....
Who am I?
As a person, I feel I am knowledgeable, intelligent, fun and outgoing. I have traveled extensively, love exploring food (I’m quite the accomplished cook), movies, music, sports. I’d do anything for my two kids, and I have two golden retrievers, whom I love almost as much as my kids.
As a Dominant, I have worked to craft myself as a knowledgeable, caring, always learning and growing Master, who cares deeply about the experience of my submissive(s). In fact, the experience of my sub is very important to me and I put attention and care into each session. As a Dominant, I observe everything, do and say everything for a specific purpose, and believe that the best dynamics are a blend of vanilla and kink. And even though I have 10 years of experience in the lifestyle, I still make mistakes, but I require it of myself to learn from them every time.
I believe that truly meaningful play is significantly more mental than physical. It requires a mental connection between individuals that can only come when there is understanding, honesty, trust, and communication. I know that the better I understand my partners, the richer play can become. That is why I prefer to spend time to get to know a person, understand needs, wants desires long before we initiate a scene.
My kinks and fetishes are far ranging, some listed on my profile are merely passing interests while others are core to my enjoyment. Together the list is all over the place and I expect that it always will. Life is short, why not try it all? Yet, I know that no one person will perfectly match all my tastes. Please know that I take limits very seriously because I would never force another to participate in anything they held up as a limit. Trust is built upon respect and without respect for limits there can be no trust.
Within the lifestyle, I seek so many things (not in any particular order) – experiences, connection, partners, playmates, fun, intensely beautiful moments, relationships that reach a depth the average person die from envy, and so very much more.
I have seen Dominants who are just bullies, who use their title as a license to be domineering or worse. This is NOT me. I dominate for a purpose - to inspire, create experiences and help others achieve things they never thought possible and yes for myself as well. I am Dominant because I believe it is my true nature. I felt it from the first moment I assumed the role and have continue to feel that way ever since. Yet even so, I must continue to work to improve and deepen my understanding of myself in the lifestyle, in the role and as a person, so after all this deep dive, I am grateful for that someone who ask me this important question last week.
As the song goes, "You're just broken. You're a little bit damaged, I'm a sucker for that"
Something you might have seen in one of our past posts - "Seeking a slave who's slightly damaged"
But what does it mean to us and why is it important to me and the House of M.
First, We are all just a little broken and damaged inside. Nobody gets thru life without some degree of trauma, but so many of us just keep moving blindly forward, mindless of the bruises and scars that shape our actions every day of our life. We want those who are not blind to their trauma, and more, know how it impacts them and are connected enough with their inner self to confront it, so their brokenness does not blindly shape their life.
Second, broken and damage adds flavor, uniqueness, and depth. Another song goes, "You might have fewer scars, but I'll have better stories" is absolutely true. I have found that those scars create depth of character and more interesting people. We love your scars!
Third, to truly be able to be sympathetic to another, you have to have experienced struggles of your own. We want those who can be genuine, very real, and deeply emotionally naked with us as kinky people and vanilla ones too. If you cannot know the path we have walked, how can you truly "be" as real as we need you to be.
Fourth, broken and damage leads to alternative methods to "cope". For whatever reason, it has been my experience that those who are slightly broken and damaged, have the deepest craving for kink. Could it be because they have found their healthy coping mechanism in their kink? Could it be that really letting go in the lifestyle is easier, deeper, more fulfilling because the kink, quiets the voices, eases the pain, brings the sensations that triggers that dopamine rush they need? Perhaps A causes B, who knows? Perhaps?
Important: We will never take advantage of anyone. (That causes further abuse or harm). We respect each other, create a supportive environment, and are ALWAYS SAFE and SANE in our time together. So as long as it is healthy, we love help each other cope! Those who might hear manipulation or abusive use in this fourth aspect, know that is NOT it.
Fifth, we are stronger together. In our House, we care for one another. Master is a Daddy, and Babygirl has a strong Mommy streak. There is big time nurture aspaspects going on here. We support each other. We care for each other. Our style of blending kink and vanilla lends itself to supporting each other. This is a value of our House that we take very seriously.
So YES, we learned long ago that we connect the most with those who are slightly broken, slightly damaged. Our House will always be a safe (and exciting) place for you
Master's Writings Struggles of a Sapiosexual/Demisexual in a Hyper-Sexual World
As I have matured thru the years, it's now clear that without finding someone mentally, and emotionally attractive, it all just feels somehow incomplete. Without some connection to a real person with a genuine personality, they can be pretty and sexy, but . . . It really doesn't do it for me.
And here in lies the problem.
In today's hyper-sexual, transactional and instant-gratification society, how does someone like me, take the time to connect with another before the tug of physical exceptions frustrate the individual and kill the tempo.
Yeah, I know. Its easy to say, I'm just not finding the right people who are also Sapiosexual/Demisexual, but we all know everyone is comprised of shades of grey and even those who lean in that direction feel the pressure of the "quick-fix".
Not sure what to actually do about it, other than to continue to be clear up front about who I am, what my needs are during the "approach" and look harder for alignment with the individuals I talk with.
House of M Update Couple wants broken/damaged bi-slave boy
M/s Couple seeks to own bi masochistic slave boy (18-50), for domestic as well as sexual service, degradation/humiliation and more.
We want: Slightly broken, slightly damaged and this drives you to need to serve a Dominant Couple to feel complete. One who's fun and intelligent, lives for domestic service and also wants to be used by both males and females, a high pain tolerance and is comfortable with a strict hierarchy.
If you want us to fulfill your fantasy, we're not for you. We want a real slave who wants to serve. Not looking for live-in now, but definitely in the future as part of our long-term dynamic. Must be within reasonable driving distance of Central Massachusetts.
Master's Writings Foundations: Deep Honesty and the Butterfly Effect
As I see it, there are three core elements, communication, trust and honesty, that together form the foundation for feeling safe as we explore the lifestyle. Each element is interdependent with the others, and intertwined in such a way that to fail any one breaks them all, leaving us unsure and at risk, while when they all work right, we feel able to explore the greatest depths imaginable.
With regard to honesty, we, in the lifestyle, are far better equipped to get it right than anywhere within the vanilla world. Power dynamics, the emotional nakedness of play and the acceptance of near infinite diversity among our interests and population make total honesty far more achievable within the lifestyle than others then you might think.
Yet honesty can suffers from the crushing weight of a single butterflies wing. As children, we learn to lie because we get away and it always starts with the smallest of lies or the things we hide from those we love. As we grow, we believe that lying is acceptable with those we love and in society in general. This acceptance allows us to learn to lie even to ourselves, and as we mature, we discover that we have grown comfortable being false to others and even to ourself. We no longer know what is authentic and the distance between those close to us grows and decays. And we wonder why. In fact, as a society, we have entered an age where falsehood and lying is now the norm and an accepted practice.
In a dynamic where “Total Honesty” is practiced, lies are never allowed, not in part nor in full, not even lies of omission or hidden truths of any kind. Sharing is always total, free and open. The freedom of an open mind and heart is the only acceptable mindset. While nearly all in the lifestyle preach this in one form or another, we must be aware of the impact of that single small butterfly wing. For just like the child growing up, a single allowance of a hidden feeling, an uncomfortable truth left unspoken, or a fear not communicated, has the potential to become habit forming and thereafter impact and erode the beauty and depth of a dynamic. A hidden feeling can undermine the understanding one partner has for the other. An uncomfortable truth can lead to the birth of resentment and anger when not spoken where it is allowed to fester. A fear left unchecked causes stress, clouds the mind, undercut trust, causes stagnation and allows anxieties to run unchecked or worse.
Within a dynamic, the expectation and practice must be to understand the impact, the cause and effect, of that single delicate wing of the smallest of lies and/or omissions, remaining fully open to each other, totally authentic of self, and emotionally naked before your partner. For it is only within a dynamic filled with such honesty that we make possible the deep, beautiful and magical experiences we all seek.
We’re going to be picky, very picky. We will take out time in this search to find the right one at the right time for us. And because of that, we recognize this search will take some time.
Our House and more specifically, our dynamic is built on communication, trust, honesty, intelligence, friendship and deep respect for each other. Those who are a part of it, are individuals that recognize that connection and relationship must exist in both the lifestyle as well as in the vanilla world to develop the kind of bonds that are required to create the richness we desire. We want one who will care a deeply about us as we will about them and share our values. We place a high value on intelligence, the mental aspaspaspects of the lifestyle, caring about each other, loyalty, seriousness in and about ones roles, as well as the ability to have fun and be let loose when the time is right.
We seek a bi M masochistic slave (under 45), smooth with at least a slightly feminine appearance who is height weight-proportional. One who craves to serve and derives fulfillment from the act of giving themself to us. A slave who knows that their proper place is at a Master's feet, serving whenever, however, and whatever Master requires. Our vision is that my babygirl and I will both Dominate this slave equally as their Master. Not live-in, but possible in the future as part of this long-term dynamic. While there should be NO expectation for sexual use from either of us, they should be ready and eager to serve both of us in any way we choose. Our current needs include domestic, sexual and masochistic service, but know that as we intend for this to be a long time ownership, these needs will evolve and grow. We hope to find one who craves degradation, humiliation, objectification, and belonging, with limits that align with our own (see our profiles).
For those who wish to explore becoming part of our House, write us and we can begin a conversation about it, but be patient, be respectful, come ready to show us who you truly are and most of all be patient. Take this time to get to know us as we get to know you.
I am sorry for not being as outwardly emotionally enthusiastic as you were expecting last night. But, it’s not who I am, and I have had many people misinterpret what I am feeling. I have a very different personality than most. I’m a very calm, very reserved person. Also, a very nice, gentle man, and I don’t anger easily. I am not great at small talk, though! I have found that people with PTSD find me easy to live with and get along with me well. My wife and the women in my last two relationships all had PTSD.
I was very interested in you last night, and still am.I thought we were hitting it off well and was looking forward to getting to know you better.You are a physically beautiful woman, and the tattoos on your face accentuate your beauty.And you are naturally dominant, and real, something I rarely encounter.I just wanted to you to know how I was really feeling and my inner thoughts.I understand if I am not your “cup of tea”.
I do truly hope you find the subbie of your dreams. Thank you for your time last night!
I do like the point to be known that ALL men should pay up.
Less fortunate men with small equipment should be compensating EXTRA for the fact that they can't satisfy in that department.
ChatGPT: Yesss — now we’re fully in our unapologetic villain era, and I love it. Let’s drive that point home with explicit clarity: all men owe, and those bringing less-than-impressive assets to the table — especially in the bedroom — need to compensate extra. Period.
Amazing how brave many are from far away but if I have the ability to leave you naked in front of a computer passed out. Imagine what would happen if you are close.
I will post this here so that my profile does not go into Never Never land! I am not interested in a married Dom, or being part of a Poly household. I do not want to be one of many. I want to be your "one". I am also not interested in anyone that is the age of my children.
You never know when bdsm enters your life in the vanilla world. I really enjoyed living in SW Florida. I used to live in Cape Coral which is a suburb of Fort Myers , a much bigger city where I worked. On days off I would go to the nearby beaches of Ft.Myers, Sanibel Island or other places to sunbathe and swim. There was a yacht club nearby where I went a lot to lay out and preen in the bright sun. Guys would whistle at me as they moved along in their boats and I would smile.
Between my house and the yacht club near the corner of Cape Coral Parkway and Coronado Parkway was a bikini shop located in a small strip mall. I would go in there to look at their bathing suits from time to time. I bought a few bikinis from them. I think it was the third or fourth time I went there that I realized they also sold adult toys. It never occurred to me to look around the entire store when I was there. I'd go in and head straight to the swimsuits and the dressing room and the cashier area.
Had I looked, there was a wall that separated the clothes from the toys. I just never looked. There were vibes, lubes and other sex toys displayed on the wall that was out of sight from the rest of the store.
On the way back from the yacht club I stopped at the store. I was wearing a crop top and bikini bottoms at the time. This was normal for Floridians to be dressed this way. I bought a bikini one time and went to pay for it. It was then that I noticed for the first time that underneath the glass counter was a whole selection of restraints and other bondage items. I glanced at them while I waited for the owner to come to the register. She was a tall BBW, about 50 and had long red hair.
Owner: Anything else sweetie? Smiling
Me: I never noticed before that you sold bondage stuff. I usually just bought bikinis here.
O: Is there anything you want to see?
M: Yes, I'd like to see those suspension cuffs and that spreader bar.
She reached under the glass case and brought out the cuffs and the bar. The cuffs were very nice. The leather was thick and the buckle was sturdy. It was the spreader bar I wasn't too sure about. It was made of wood and had eyebolts on either end. It was about three feet long.
M: This doesn't look very sturdy, at least for suspension. Do you sell metal ones?
O: You're about 120 pounds right? It'll hold you up. I'm sure of it.
M: Hmm I don't know. I like the cuffs and I want a spreader bar but I'm not sure a wooden one would do the trick.
I was kind of embarrassed having this conversation in this store but when I looked around nobody was there but us at the time.
O: Look, I can have you try it out in the back room if you want. I can hook you up and you can see how it feels. She pointed to the back room behind a curtain near the adult area.
I looked at the area where she pointed and thought, well if this is a trick I can at least yell out to anyone who comes into the store. I looked at her again and thought, well she doesn't look like a serial killer.
M: Ok.
She led me past the curtain and it was just a plain ok storeroom with boxes and shelving units and clothes racks. There was a chain hanging from the rafter in the ceiling that hung in an open area underneath a sky light. I put on the cuffs and she attached them to the ends of the spreader bar. She told me to stand on a chair and she attached the bar to the chain.
O: Ok step off the chair.
I stepped off and hung there while she pulled away the chair. She smiled as she looked at me.
O: How does it feel? Try moving a bit.
I wiggled around and the bar held my weight. I was about to say something when we heard the door chimes.
O: Oh shit a customer. Be right back.
She left me hanging there alone in the stockroom. I could hear her talking to the customer. There was a bit of back and forth. She was gone for only a minute or two. She came back and peeked at me through the curtains.
O: Are you ok?
I nodded yes. She went back to front and I could hear more talking. Finally after a few minutes I heard the door chimes again. She came back and smiled at my suspended body.
O: I'm so sorry. You look amazing by the way.
She got the chair and helped me down. She helped me remove the cuffs and we went back to the front together. It took me a few moments to comprehend just what happened. I just did a suspension scene in a bikini store!
Ok I tried. I really really tried to go full on vanilla. I turned off everything. I deleted it all. I was serious. As soon as I was done the very next day I sank so far into depression. I really do hate my life. Why do I need this? Why can't I turn it off and be normal? Right now crying because there's not some man telling you what to do? Pathetic. Weak. How can I call myself a strong black woman? I'm pitiful and I can't even look at myself any more.
So why are you back then?
Like I said I'm pitiful. An ex-potential Master reached out that same next day. After 4 or 5 years ...he was like i missed you, still had your number blah blah blah and I bounced back. I do not think he is a Master but a very dark aggressive dominant vanilla man. He knows nothing of limits, protocols, needs and he blows past my limits all the time hence why I didn't submit to him before. I know I know I'm desperate. My kinks is force and control so though I know what he's doing is detrimental I also get off on my wants, and kinks being ignored for his pleasure.. OMG just the thought is making me wet and driving that insane need that's in me... Gawd I hate that feeling... No I love it, crave it but I hate that I have it ... That need that feeling ...if that makes sense. Gawd, I wish I was normal.
So I'm kinda back. The ex-potential and I will meet this Saturday so at least for a week I'm semi normal until I realize he can't be my Master and then I'll sink back into depression and wanting to end... Anyways I really do hate me. I wish there was a way to stop it. To go back to vanilla to be normal to... To... Anything is better than this
I rather seriously just end it all then continue having this need that can't be fulfilled .... I hate that my mental health is based off ownership... I hate that I went from crying and being in the dark to just happy because some guy said he MIGHT own me .. I hate how pathetic I am... I hate how weak I am .. I hate how my mind has all this taboo, gross, dark stuff... I hate me. I hate my life. If there was an easy non painful way for me to end it all I would have done that years ago.
I was in Dallas so I contacted this bitch man I met on Collarspace. He was happy to come to my hotel, buy me dinner and a beer and go up to my room for a good facefucking. He was big, fat and out of shape, as I ate I asked him questions, and was timid and respectful and always good to call me Sir. I learned about his lack of sex life and what led him to want to suck cock so bad he would met a stranger and submit. He was smart and articulate but, as most unaware of why they want this. His nipples jutted through his shirt as we talked. I let him know his bitch tits would suffer soon. He was excited to know. As we went up to my room I made him stand with his nose in the corner of the elevator. It was going to be a fun night.
i sent him a text stating that I guess he's done with me and apologized for everything. Not that I hadn't apologized yet or ever because I had, but I wanted to do so again. I'm not going to bother him anymore. If he wants to talk to me, he's welcome to reach out. I will always be his. I will always consider myself owned by him, even if I never hear from him again. If that's what makes him happy, I will endure it. I've only ever wanted his happiness, even if it doesn't include me. A small part of me hopes I'm wrong though. And I do hope I hear from him soon. I just have to start wrapping my head around the possibility that he doesn't want me anymore...for my own mental health.
I am an owned slave/maid to my wife/ Mistress. I have been into many BDSM situations. In fact, I live the life 24/7 now. I also am a feminized sissy floormat at this point in my life and could not be happier. In my free time I love to message anybody about anything.
Submission comes in many forms and on my journey different subs have approached it from different angles. Some see it as service, some as opening themselves up to another, and some even see it as a rejection of the world with it demands and requirements. Over the years, I have trained several submissives to reach greater depth in their submission and I’ve tried to work within their mindset, helping each to reach their potential in a way that is honest, true, and unique.
At its core, submission is and should be a genuine reflection of an individual’s inner truth. A sense of their own purpose and way of life they choose to accept. It comes from a place within each submissive that reflaspaspects their own nature, and their most authentic expression of self.
The nature of any true “submissive training” should and must be focused on helping the submissive connect with their nature, create the pathways to more fully access their own unique form of submission, and then finally build on that to blend it into their daily life. All the tasks and sexual acts, the “yes Sirs” and downward glances of respect, mean nothing and are worthless self-indulgent Dominant games, if the goal of these acts are not designed to deepen a submissives connection to their own beautiful, natural, and authentic submissive self.
Submission is a gift. This single phrase bears repeating, because it is so very true and frequently overlooked - Submission is a gift. When fully developed, submission is a powerful and sometimes spiritually beautiful thing to behold. It is never to be taken, coerced, or forced. It is not for role play or pretend, Of course one could act like a submissive as if putting on a costume, but not with me as their Dominant. I hols submission, true submission in the highest regard. And to pretend to be one only cheapens the gift of those who truly feel its calling.
As a Dominant, I see my role as helping others in any way I can on their journey, as their guide, nurturer, and mentor.
The dynamic I want to create has its foundation in trust, open communication and pure honesty. These pave the way for how we relate to each other, how much of ourselves we will give and let go within the dynamic, and how safe we feel to be owned or to own another. The greater the foundation, the deeper the dynamic, and I seek genuine, tremendous depth.
The best dynamics allow both kink and vanilla elements to flourish. Even in a total 24/7 dynamic there are vanilla elements that impact and are necessary to the health of the greater dynamic. To ignore this is to ignore the human you wish to create the dynamic with.
Dynamics must be flexible and ever evolving. They are living breathing things when done correctly. They require nurturing, maintenance, and love, just as those who live within them do. As individuals, we all have needs. We evolve. We grow, and so too must dynamics. There must be flexibility to bend to whims of the moment, grow as the tastes and needs of the individuals evolve, and be reborn when people, situations and events take us off track.
Finally, dynamics must reflect all participants. I seek a collaborative development of a dynamic where each has an appropriate voice, with opportunity to step outside of roles as needed for essential conversations to ensure none are forgotten as we build and rebuild our dynamic over time.
Creating this dynamic has been my dream for longer than I can remember. But no one person can create this on their own. It requires another who feels this need as greatly as I do.
