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I've come to realize that I have always been a dominant male with something of a sexually sadistic streak and particularly interested in humiliation.? My fianc?and submissive) have recently been intensifying our practices as she is discovering her submissive side, while trying to overcome the feeling that submission marks a loss of autonomy rather than the realization of a new kind of freedom. I am deeply committed to the idea of submission as a method of overcoming one's superficial ego, and therefore as a genuine route towards liberation of the deep self (a la Buddhism). It is clear that she finds it sexually compelling and beyond that enjoys the trust involved, but she has a hard time reconciling it with her feminist sensibilities and general vanilla programming. I think this is a common bind that submissive women find themselves in and I would love to hear from women who have undergone a similar struggle. From my perspective, she's close to a kind of breakthrough, but can't quite let herself go and give herself fully over to her submissive desires.? Our communication is very good and has really blossomed because of our involvement with D/s--I think it has to given the intimacy and vulnerability of this lifestyle.? I love her very and am extremely patient so it isn't something I'm worrying about as such, but anything I can learn to refine myself as a dominant and move our D/s relationship further would be greatly appreciated.? I don't want to waste anybody's time, so let me be try to be even clearer.? I am an intellectual by profession, so I have been very active in educating myself through a variety of avenues.? I've also been marking out specific threads within the forums here for her to read and encouraging her to educate herself as much as possible through books, etc.? So while I have gleaned a great deal about generalities of deepening a D/s relationship, I am curious as to whether women in a similar position have found the process to be solely a gradual one or whether it has been punctuated with more drammatic breakthroughs.? If so, what kinds of experiences facillitated those new insights?
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I would love to hear from female submissives and slaves regarding their experiences transcending fears and feminist concerns in relation to their submissive desires. What helped you let go and fully identify (give yourself over) as a submissive? Are you still undergoing this process? |
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