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I AM LOOKING FOR A SUBMISSIVE ONLY!!

No switches, tops, bottoms, players - just true submissives
If you are not between the ages of 65 and still functioning, please do NOT CONTACT me. If you are not seeking a real time, LTR, FLR, please do NOT CONTACT me. If you are married or otherwise attached in any way, please do NOT CONTACT me. If you do not have the time or inclination to invest in building a relationship, please do NOT contact me. If you are local to the Poconos of PA, a big, huge plus. If you are non-monogamous at all, duplicitous, a liar, a cheat, or secretive, please do NOT CONTACT me. Don't even go there, you WILL be found out and at my age, I don't have the time to spend just to find out your morality is less than stellar. Been there, done that, wore out the T-shirt - see my journal entries. I should not have to say this, but if you are a Dom/me or a switch, (really!?!?!) please look elsewhere. I am not here to facilitate your excursions to the dark side. I am a 68 year old, gray haired, wrinkled old lady. If you are looking for Barbie, pass me by because, within that age range, I am certain you are not Ken. I am seeking a real time, real life relationship, possible marriage, not a one night stand. Friendship, affection, blood tests, relationship first, kink later (kink is the easy part!). Caucasian only please. Good looks and finances do not impress me - a good heart, honesty, kindness, strong ethics/values system and intelligence does it for me. I am extremely sapiosexual. Be smarter than me! (That is not hard to do!) Clean, DDF, non-drinker only please. I am not seeking a slave. I am looking for a submissive only. I am a widow, hoping to find someone who shares my interests, both vanilla and kink, to build a full life together. Would love to meet someone that can be a man in vanilla situations and a submissive in the bedroom. Someone real, safe, sane and able to move between real life and 'playtime' (no trivialization meant - this is not play to me) with ease. Someone intelligent, upbeat, willing to try new things, able to and comfortable with suggesting ideas to keep the relationship (and the sex) alive. Someone who is fun to be with and knows how to find the joy in life. The relationship that I envision takes time to build - if you don't have the time and inclination to invest in building a strong bond, please look elsewhere. I have many vanilla interests and am open to many things I have not yet tried or experienced. I volunteer for 2 veteran groups and serve on many of their committees and executive boards. I have a passion for miniatures and hold both a state and local position with national and local miniatures groups. Reading, metaphysics, lifelong learning, travel are just some of my interests. I am NOT a pro - do not insult me with offers of 'tribute' (ridiculous euphemism for payment for services rendered). Ponder this: If you pay a pro, and tell her what you want for your money, who is really the sub and who the D??? Any male submissive that meets my requirements (age, etc.) may feel free to write me, however, please start your emails with the word Honorable...If you do not, I will not write back.

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10/24/2021 12:41:47 PM

OMG the journal entry button is back!!!  Yay, thank you the powers that be!!!


1/20/2018 1:04:32 PM

Sometimes you don't recognize the value of a moment until it becomes a memory...

1/10/2018 11:44:50 AM
The quote is actually, “Every Man Dies, Not Every Man Really Lives “ and is attributed to William Wallace, 13th century Scotland.  Thank you, Evan... - I first credited this to Braveheart with a ?, then I was told this is from the Godfather, and now another vote for Braveheart.  Now I don't care who said it, I just like what it says.  


1/7/2018 12:44:35 PM

"Thought, if it’s not open to wonder, can be limiting, destructive and very, very dangerous."  - John O'Donahue

I want to hear you and wonder, do you ever hear me and wonder?


1/6/2018 4:31:32 PM

It eats at me, the one without any patience, that every day wasted is a day gone forever.   Irretrievable, lost.

Life is finite, too many days wasted, when love could have filled them to the brim with joy.  Have you made the right choice?

I wrote the above because a special person just died.  She was between 10 and 20 years my senior and still active in the D/s lifestyle.  She was a Domme, and was my inspiration.  If she could find love through her 80's there is still hope for me.  I feel so bad for her partner of many, many years.  He was devoted to only her.  She to him.  Ella, I will miss you.  You were an example to me of what could be.  Rob, I will hold you in my thoughts and prayers - I do hope you can continue on, secure in the knowledge that the two of you knew how to seize the day, didn't waste any time when you could be together, and loved each other till the very end.  Life truly has an expiration date - see one of my pictures here.  No one escapes it.  To waste a moment is so sad.

12/31/2017 9:05:04 PM
Happy New Year to all !!  May this year be the best one ever!!

12/16/2017 10:45:30 AM

"When men speak ill of thee, live so as nobody may believe them."

"Courage is knowing what not to fear."

"Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back."

"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light"

"He who is not a good servant will not be a good Master."

all by Plato


12/15/2017 8:29:14 AM
Don't mistake my kindness for weakness.  I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me, weak is not what you are going to remember about me.  -  Al Capone

12/14/2017 7:17:29 AM
"Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you got till it's gone..." - Joni Mitchell 

12/13/2017 5:00:36 AM
"Service which is rendered without joy helps neither the servant nor the served. But all other pleasures and possessions pale into nothingness before service which is rendered in a spirit of joy." ...Gandhi”

12/11/2017 2:03:12 AM
"Prodigal Sub"(2/22/17)  &  "Still" at it (8/22/16)...vertical marks beforehand.  23 V's and 8 SA's and never a vertical mark...Still claiming innocence, lying cheat

12/1/2017 7:40:12 AM
I don't do subtlety very well at all.  Pretty much anything esoteric just goes over my head.  If you have something to say to me, best if you just say it.  I don't surmise, understand, or otherwise deal with subtlety very well.  Thanks...

11/25/2017 2:02:21 PM
This just gets "curiouser and curiouser"  .....Just now someone viewed my full profile.  His screen name was alterguy.  Instead of having a normal profile like everyone else, his was three sentences directed to me.  I queried him about this and lo and behold, his "view" disappeared from my views, and his just-created-yesterday profile is also now gone.  I was quick enough to copy the profile, my views page with his view on it and the two questions I wrote that he read.  Can you say stalker?  Harassment?  

The alterguy name is interesting in and of itself because although my ex sub has at least 2 CS profiles, none of them are Altarboi, which is his name, linked with mine, altar4u, on a different website.  To use that bastardization of his screen name (that I loved), was to get my attention, in my opinion.  



11/22/2017 7:19:38 AM
Wishing everyone here a wonderful 2017 Thanksgiving Day.  

11/10/2017 7:37:22 PM
Hmmm....last evening I was contacted by someone that referred to them self as a Domme (F) and went by, get this:  URBEINGWATCHEDD.  There is a URBEINGWATCHED from 2006, hence the extra 'D' at the end of the name.  I doubt it was a woman or a Domme, I actually think it was altarboi or his A.W. that wrote to me.  "She" was 5' 3" and 55 years old.  Lived "near Philly" which puts this person right in altarboi's neighborhood, or the neighborhood of his A.W.  This morning, surprise!!...  the profile no longer exists. 

If it were me, I might have called myself URBEINGWATCHED2...  ;-)

Can you say stalker?  Harassment?  

11/6/2017 11:56:32 AM

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya
She tied you to a kitchen chair                                   This verse is a little kinky, no?
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah


Now maybe there’s a God above
But all I ever learned from love
Is how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya                  Drew first blood?, not I...But 
And it’s not a cry you can hear at night                        I  WILL draw out the last drop!  
It’s not someone who’s seen the light                          
It’s a cold and it’s a lonely hallelujah
 
Oh people I’ve been here before
I know this road and I’ve walked this floor                   You might win this battle, but
You see, I used to live alone before I knew ya              never the war!  Your flag won't
And I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch                  hang, ever!
Our love is not a victory march
No, it’s a cold and it’s a very broken hallelujah
 
Leonard Cohen - excerpted - "Hallelujah!"     

There are several more verses but these seem to be the ones that most resonate with me.  Great lyrics, this song is one of my favorites! 

Music, per se, and vocalists are not the most important thing about songs for me, it is the LYRICS that get me every time.  Lyrics that can be taken several ways are the best!  Like the first verse above, "and from your lips she drew the Hallelujah", a climactic moment, maybe forced since he is tied, his 'throne' is broken, I have seen butts broken as well.  Great, amazing, wonderful lyrics.

"your faith was strong but you needed proof" reminds me of CS and how we want so much to believe that someone is perfect, but we have to verify, and then meet, and even then, "when her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you", we are not really sure without the time for a relationship to bloom or fail.  Then it is back to "You see, I used to live alone before I knew ya", but the time, that most precious of earthly things is lost forever.  That is the loss that "is a cold and it’s a very broken hallelujah"

The best version I have ever heard is k. d. lang's Olympics opening ceremony in 2010.  You can hear it on youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKrkEOlyJo8

11/3/2017 1:16:38 PM
Thought I would share some things that have resonated with me over the years:

Do, or do not, there is no try- Yoda

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth - unknown (to me)

We live in the Land of the Free BECAUSE of the brave - Paul Sutton

If you don't give, you just don't get it! - Meat Loaf, "What about Love"

it's not our abilities that define who we truly are, it is our choices - AD, HPCS....this one goes out to altarboi, his choices are lying and cheating instead of the really scary thought of being honest and true *gasp*  and real!!

It is what it is.....but it will become whatever you make it!!!  - unknown, came out of a catalog

How often it is that the angry man rages denial of what his inner self is telling him - Frank Herbert, Dune

PATIENCE - it is a VIRTUE - Who knew???  - this one is mine, I was absent when they passed patience out, trying to find the guy who got my share!!!

10/1/2017 11:15:39 AM
Changed my profile pic for a reason - I need to start believing my own thoughts.  I am ready to move on.  The best way to forget someone is to find someone new, that is what I am actively doing now.  I have a presence on Fetlife, Spanking Tube and here.  All the same screen name.  

Looking for a new acolyte, altar boy, acolytus, altar attendant - see basic requirements listed in my profile.  Only those fitting those basic parameters will be considered.

9/7/2017 5:34:32 AM
Well, today I see that he has hidden his profile yet again.  He can't get women to contact him if they can't find him.  But, I guess he can contact them.

Full disclosure:  I kept viewing him yesterday.  Actually, I was just teasing him for blocking me since, if I wanted to contact him, I have phone numbers, emails, etc. to use, much easier than here.  I have not contacted him since we split and I don't want to contact him ever again, but, finding him here and finding that I was blocked, did get my attention, resulting in 2 journal entries, and my name repeatedly showing in his 'who's viewing me' area.  

He could at least have waited to see if I bothered him before blocking me.  First, blocking me insured that I knew it was him where originally I had no clue, just thought it was someone in my age range I should check out.  Second, red flag waved at a bull!!  100% Sicilian with a temper to match!  You can relax now, now that I know your current profile name (and the old one as well), I will not click on your profile again.

Anyway, moving on, there is a munch on Sunday in my area and I plan on attending, with my friend, John (emphasis on "friend" - I am still looking).  Should be interesting, I hope.  They have traditionally not been wonderful but I keep hoping.  Maybe this time there will be a 'person of interest' there.

8/28/2017 1:39:59 PM
I never drink and am not an alcoholic, nor am I particularly religious, but the sentiment in this short plea is helping me through this not so wonderful time.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Thought it might help someone else as well.  My best to anyone out there that is hurting, depressed, or otherwise unhappy.  This too shall pass.  I have to believe that or I am doomed.

8/4/2017 4:05:04 PM
altarboi locked me out of his Spanking Tube page.  However, since the photos belong to me, and they all live on my computer, I simply recreated the albums on my Spanking Tube page, altar4u.  Changed my password there as well.  I changed the link elsewhere in this journal to reflect the new photo albums.  I added 1 or 2 albums that are not on his page and some pics that we didn't include the first time around!  I have many more pics that I could create albums for, we'll see...

7/8/2017 3:50:46 AM
So, I am back yet again.  People in my age group are dropping out of the lifestyle it seems.

Three years of my life were dedicated to one sub, but the road was rocky from the start as you can read in my journal.    I told him if I left now, I would never come back.  Being old, I have learned to never say never, so who knows?  

7/7/2017 2:37:32 AM

http://www.spankingtube.com/user/altar4u/videos?type=public

     this link takes you to my videos

 

http://www.spankingtube.com/user/altar4u/albums?type=public

   this link takes you to my photo albums


1/1/2017 5:03:27 AM
Back again - no one can say I did not give it a chance, in fact, multiple chances.  But, sadly, it seems impossible to change yourself once formed.  He will never change, doesn't even take responsibility for his share of the issues.  It is who he is and I cannot live with who he is.  

Happy New Year to all - I hope this year we all find our heart's desires.

11/2/2016 7:35:02 AM
I received this note from a young man of 22.  I, of course, was flattered by his words, but stunned as well, because he 'gets it' far more correctly and deeply than others more than twice his age.  Kudos to this young man, and I am sure that he will find what he seeks and make some very lucky Domme a wonderful mate/partner/lover/friend and of course, sub.

Honorable Altar4u,
I hope that you will forgive me.  I read your profile, every word.   I know that I am not what you are looking for.  I know that I fall outside your age range.  I have struggled for several days with not contacting you, and I have failed.  I'm not looking for anything, not because I am not interested, but because I know that you are not.  

Yet, I had to at least reach out to share with you what an honor it should be for whomever you choose.  Your intelligence, sense of humor, and zest for life show though in each sentence.  There are way too many fake people on this site.  It was a pleasure to read a profile someone who was very honest, very real, and very of aware of what she wants.  

So I hope that you will forgive the indiscretion of responding, even though I am outside the age range.  I would love to be friends, or talk, or whatever you would allow.  If that is nothing, then I understand.  At least you know you have a real admirer out here.  



10/30/2016 4:10:49 AM
I am in a meat market, searching for the veggies!

9/16/2016 5:10:17 PM
Well, I am back.  Not that I am happy about it.  2 years wasted.  

11/19/2015 4:55:36 AM

I am cautiously optimistic - I may have found a sub that wants what I want.  He lives relatively close to me, we seem to have similar interests, both vanilla and kink, and we are starting to spend time together.  It is a long road but it might have a rainbow at the end of it.  Time will tell.  Meanwhile, thanks to everyone who has befriended and interacted with me along the way.  I wish you all great good luck with your search and if this doesn't work, I will be back, but I hope I never am again!


10/6/2015 7:37:02 PM
Memory     All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember
A time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again

Daylight       I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I mustn't give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin

Touch me     It's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me
You'll understand what happiness is
Look, a new day has begun

Memory - from the musical, Cats, excerpted.  Written by Mutschall, Juergen/de Leon, Dominik/lange/strum, Alexis. 

7/11/2015 3:02:11 PM
"For even as Love crowns you so shall he crucify you.  Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.  

Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,

So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.

He threshes you to make you naked.

He sifts you to free you from your husks.

He grinds you to whiteness.

He kneads you until you are pliant; 

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure, then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears."

The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran, exerpted


5/20/2015 11:14:47 AM
Can you believe this???  I just checked the profile of a guy I am supposed to be meeting on Friday - he is now a Dom - I immediately cancelled our 'date'.  

On the Read Mail page, his screen name is the royal blue color of male subs until the last email where the color changes to the navy blue of Dominants, so he just changed his orientation today, after we talked.  I am so sick of players and fakes.  UGH!  

I didn't think he would work out anyway, but would have been nice to have someone close by, even to just be friends with.  I don't understand the mentality that does that sort of thing.  I guess boredom promotes these games.  I could think of many ways to occupy his time that does not entail lies and deceit.  Wonder what would have happened if we met - who would have won the wrestling contest over who wields the whip?  Is there anyone real out there at all???

5/6/2015 5:02:20 PM
Results of a BDSM test I just took:

== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ ==
100% Bondage Giver
100% Dominant
96% Master/Mistress
88% Sadist
84% Degradation Giver
63% Primal (Predator)
38% Primal (Prey)
34% Exhibitionist
34% Voyeur
17% Vanilla
0% All-Rounder
0% Bondage Receiver
0% Degradation Receiver
0% Masochist
0% Non-monogamist
0% Slave
0% Submissive
0% Switch
See my results online at http://bdsmtest.org/result.?id=327022


4/25/2015 1:05:03 PM
This is a riot - see my journal entry of 11/23/14 about the guy who got mad that I kept the Art picture and the Mel picture.  Well, he viewed me again under a different (third) screen name.  But I recognized who it was by the cadence of his writing style, the verbiage and the usage.  He has an odd way of writing, very unique and easily recognizable.  Also, what he said triggered my memory.  Same line of bull...

Anyway, he wrote to me but I got suspicious right away that it was the same guy.  Sure enough, we didn't even get to the exchanging names stage and I told him he "reminded me of someone - was it Art or Mel?"  That was last night.  As of today, his profile no longer exists - yet again.  

Say it with me now, 'Can't fix stupid, even with duct tape'.  Time for this fake to find someone else to 'entice' as I am very on to him and have no trouble recognizing him, in only 2 short emails.  What I can't figure out is why he keeps coming back to my profile.  Does he really forget he has read it before (am I that unmemorable, sniff sniff) or does he think he is smarter than I am?  Well, he may be but I have a really good 'ear'.  Sad either way.  I am far from the only Domme on CS - he needs to look at someone not bothered by a separation.  Hard limit for me.  

Sad too, because if the pictures are really of him, and I think they are because he was furious that I kept them, he is good looking - he should not have a hard time finding someone...Maybe the goal is not to really find someone, just to play.  Who knows, who cares?

4/23/2015 2:08:07 PM
On the recommendation of a slave on this site, I am reading Gloria Brame's book, Come Hither.  A bit dated and the websites don't exist any longer, but it is (so far) a great perspective on the lifestyle.  Two things stand out for me so far.  One, and this one the slave pointed out to me initially, is that any D/s relationship is what the people involved in it say it is.  Not what society dictates, not what the sensationalist media depict it as, but what the participants in that particular coupling SAY it is.  

The second thing I was very taken with is Chapter 11.  It is titled 'The View from the Top:  Sexual Dominants' and deals with things like the fictional Dominant versus the human Dominant.  So many of the subs that contact me are looking for that fictional, leather clad, sadistic Domme and have no concept of a Domme that actually lives in reality.  The chapter provides an excellent grounding in what a Domme really is, and what a real Domme is not.

 I have horrified some subs/slaves when I say I like to cuddle and be loving in my relationships.  I am human - I want a real relationship, that includes vanilla.  I am less sadistic than I am sensual, that does not make me any less dominant in my life.  This book is a good read for people who have received all their ideas about the lifestyle from fictional accounts or from sessions with pro Dommes and I recommend it highly for the newbie and experienced alike.  Yes, it is very basic, yes, it presumes that the reader needs information but it provides a realistic point of view to balance the fictional images we are inundated with.

2/22/2015 6:21:39 AM
Having tried it twice, I have decided I am too sybaritic to really enjoy on-line relationships.  Three of my five senses are deprived of stimuli by being restricted to a cam and mic.  I don't think I want to try again electronically.  Real life, real time is the only way to go for me.  

2/6/2015 2:33:57 PM
Heav'n has no rage like love to hatred turn'd / Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd. - William Congreve

1/26/2015 3:01:18 AM


"Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more...


In peace there's nothing so becomes a man


As modest stillness and humility



Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,


Disguise fair nature with hard-favour'd rage


Now set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide,


Hold hard the breath and bend up every spirit


The game's afoot:  Follow your spirit..."    Shakespeare, Henry V, exerpted

Meeting a potential new sub today...snowing...the angels weep cold tears.

1/22/2015 7:09:38 PM
Today was exceedingly hard.  I made a decision that was right but hurt me anyway.  So much more than I expected it would.  I feel like I am on the dark side of the moon.

1/19/2015 5:43:04 AM
I might have started to figure out some of the dynamics I am seeing and want.  I have been helped along the way by several wonderful, and some not-so-wonderful people.  I realize that there are infinite types of BDSM relationships and more importantly, I think I can verbalize the kind I want.  

I have been 'away' from this lifestyle for a very, very long time and I never was in a purely kink relationship.  The relationships I have had have been long term, loving, relationships with BDSM as our 100% go-to pleasure when we had sex/made love, whatever.    But in all my own personal cases, the real, loving relationship was the driving force with the kink as the icing on the cake, not the other way around.  

I guess, to clarify, I am looking for a final, forever, love relationship, partnership, life that incorporates this lifestyle for our mutual pleasure.  I am NOT looking for a BDSM relationship where we might or might not even be friends.  I know some are seeking the same thing but I have found many others (the vast majority it seems) that just want the kink and a relationship is irrelevant.  If you are one of those, I wish you the best of luck in your search but would hope you pass me by.  For me, at least, I have come to the realization that life is just too short not to want and get it all.

I do realize that the kind of relationship I seek does not just happen over a few emails.   It does not (usually) happen quickly and MUST happen in real time/life.   But I would hope that if we do begin to interact, that you at least are coming from the same place as I am with relation to what, ultimately, you seek.  If you dream of finding someone you can be together with, kink or vanilla, no matter what is going on, let's see if there is a fit.    Otherwise, please do look beyond me.

12/24/2014 5:12:41 AM
Well, it is Christmas eve and I am busy baking for a party tonight.  But I wanted to just take a moment and wish everyone I have emailed with and spoken to on the phone and met in person a wonderful holiday season, whatever you celebrate.  I wish all of you the best of luck in finding whomever is right for you in the coming year and hope it lasts happily ever after.  
I just heard from someone I talked with a while ago and he has found someone - how wonderful!  
I also was told by someone no longer active on this site that he not only found his wife here but she turned out to be his soulmate as well.  So there is hope and I head into the New Year with the thought that it can work, it can happen.   Good luck to all.

12/7/2014 1:53:45 PM
Just read the following on here:

I thought I found you . I guess not...this site produces so many disappointments..it is sooooooooo hard to find the right person.

I know just how he feels - I have met several very nice people here.  Some that were just so-so and others I wanted to run from.  But there were two that rocked my world.  As I read this sub's entry, I felt so much empathy for him.  No one has, as yet, worked for me either.  He sounded ready to give up - I am too.  It is not the site that produces the disappointments.  It is the people.  He goes on to say that each must bend to fit (paraphrasing here) and I agree with that.  He says he is leaving - I am not on board for that-  I will keep trying a bit longer.  

I wish everyone a great holiday season and hope everyone finds what (who) they want when they unwrap that gift.      

11/28/2014 8:56:15 AM
This lifestyle is a tease...and I HATE being teased!  (love to tease though ;-)  I found the profile of someone VERY interesting to me.  Read it over several times, read through all the journal entries twice.  Contacted him - he lives on the other side of the PLANET!!  Or, might as well...too far, too complicated, just figures...

11/27/2014 8:08:03 AM
So within hours, he must have realized his mistake, now the whole profile is gone.  Must be the forgetfulness of age...um...was it 67 or 73?  Beware those of you searching - this guy does not know his preference as well as not knowing his age!  or, for that matter, his name/handle.  

11/26/2014 4:33:02 PM
So.....last week the guy I drove 2.5 hours to meet was 67 and a sub.  This week he is 73 and a switch.  How does he do that?  Simple - a click of the mouse and a new persona!  Can I find them or what?  But, he should have changed his handle as well...you can't fix stupid with duct tape!!

11/23/2014 2:45:57 AM
So far, it has been a discouraging weekend.  I went 2.5 hours to meet a potential sub.  Although I was crystal clear about it being a vanilla meeting, he tried to talk me into 'playing' anyway...no way.  But he was nice enough.  We finally agreed on what I said in the very beginning - he lived too far away to make sense.  I tried to meet with a second potential but he 'had to work' (and he contacted me)!  So this one is out - no one works 24/7 and I was willing to stay over to accomodate his 'work' schedule.  I repeatedly told him he was too young but he persisted - backed off when it came time to put up or shut up.  Two down.  Then another sub contacted me - we emailed and got to the picture exchange and sure enough, he was someone who had emailed me before, under another name, another persona.  Then he made me the bad guy because I kept the old pic and emails... Hmmmmm.....

There was (is) a sub on here that said in his journal that he could write anything in his profile because they are not read - I am starting to agree with him.  No one respects the age requirements, the 2-person sub is separated (or maybe married, who knows?) and that is a hard limit for me and clearly stated, the working sub was too young...very problematic and very frustrating.  I am NOT having fun yet - I realize that you have to kiss a lot of frogs but really...

11/20/2014 8:20:52 PM

Are we having fun yet?

11/18/2014 1:54:21 PM
Is it really more fun to be alone and trolling than to be with someone that doesn't perfectly align with your needs?  Gotta wonder...

11/10/2014 11:57:16 AM
I am wondering what is considered 'fake' on this site?  I see many comments about the Dommes here being either 'fake' or 'pros'.   I have found some pros here so won't comment on them.  But 'fake' disturbs me.  I have one persona in a vanilla environment and a totally different attitude and presence in a D/s mode.  Does that make me 'fake'?  I am private - hate public play and don't show the world what I am.  It might come out if I am angry or frustrated with a situation, but not usually.  Next time labels are placed, perhaps consider that one person's 'fake' is another person's vanilla face.  

I also have found at least 2 very 'fake' subs here.  But are they, really?  One said he was looking for a LTR, then determined that he didn't really have the time to invest in one due to work requirements.  Was he being 'fake' or did he really not give it much thought before he advertised that way?  Or, third option, he didn't care for me and used that as an excuse?  He never saw the other persona and maybe my vanilla public side turned him off?  I really don't know what the truth was, and will probably never know.  I don't think he ever stopped trolling on here, so maybe he found someone else, closer to home and not looking for a LTR.  

The other sub I never even met.  We emailed back and forth and then he stopped communicating with me and started trolling the CS site.  Clearly, he was not interested in me.  But...how rude is it not to let someone know what's going on?  How hard is it to say, "I am no longer interested because...", especially by email?  Is he fake or just a rude boor?  

Labels are hard - we too easily label people, especially when they hurt us, without knowing all the facts.  It is very hard to know who can be trusted and everyone puts on a face for the world.  Online, how do we penetrate that veil and see the real person behind the kinky names?  And when we do start to learn about someone, do we still keep trolling in case we might miss someone else of interest?  How sincere is that and how much effort is put into that kind of beginning.  Not my idea of a real life scenario.    

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persianprincesss
 
 Age: 38
  Utah