Meeting the locals

If you live in the Newcastle NSW area and are interesting in meeting people then why not come along to the Newcastle Munch.  If you want more information please contact me.

LET ME MAKE THIS VERY CLEAR

I have tried to make my profile very clear but seems men still do not get it. So Ill put it here so we do not waste each others time.

I have had cancer, I am clear now. 

You wont catch it from me.

Due to treatment PIV is very painful and uncomfortable. 

Oral on me is also very uncomfortable 

So sex is not on the table which does not mean  there cant be sexual things for a sub but, sex is not the focus. 

BDSM does not have to be all about sexual play.

So if what you want is not a FLR or submissive but really want to have kinky play focusing on you getting to focus on sexual pleasure then please move along. 

I am over hearing I would be perfect for you and how you would happily travel to spend time with me and then when you learn that you are not going to be screwing me  you vanish. 

BLOCKING

Funny when you point out to someone who is looking to cheat that maybe they should get marriage councoling they then block you.

Ahh you are in a sexless marriage. Maybe there is a good reason you are and maybe the issue is YOU.

Some people should stop watching porn

Lets start with this umm Master, we will call him MasterJS. He has just joined and contacted me asking if I was interested in 2 slaves as he had to get rid of them. I asked why and he said he was getting too old and he was going back to his wife and kids.  How nice to take the time to dump them off with anyone. He tells me they were house slaves and listed what they would do, severl things which are against the law.  I asked him if he or they would be paying for all that was needed for them to move to another country. He said that would be at my expence. 

It is funny he blocked me but what is sad was he did not read my profile where he would have learned I am not into women.  I have also had a message almost the same conversation a while ago so my guess is this person watches too much porn. 

If you cant be bothered to read my profile dont contact me and make offers.

Oh no Im Blocked

So you contact someone after reading their profile. You can see that you don't fit what they seek but hell you contact them anyway.  They chat with you whilst trying to make it clear that you are looking in the wrong place for the help you seek.

You then decided to call them names and block them. Maybe you need to look in the mirror as they are not the issue you are.

Respect is what you need and just because they seem to be what you want does not mean you are what they want.

SoS

I now host a local Munch in the Newcastle Area NSW Australia. This is held once a month. If you wish to know more please contact me 

I read it but....

* I didn't really read the words I just looked at the pics

* I didn't think when you said I had to be in the same country that you meant physically had to be

* I didn't think when you said no one under 50 that you would not make an exception for me as I am very mature

* I didn't think when you did not say to send the pic, I have of myself to you when I ask that you really didn't want to see the pic of myself. 

* I didn't think you meant you would not give me a chance, after all, how can you resist me

Well, I filled out my profile and made it as simple as I can so please don't think you can get me to play a game so you get what you want. Read my profile and respect it. I am happy to chat nothing more if you don't fit the bill. 

Are men so dam hard up that they have to send a chat invite and have their cam on?

If you are a dam sub as you claim why are you taking it upon yourself to assume I want to see you straight up and naked to top it off.

Do not assume I want you as a sub you are NOT gods gift to Dommes/Mistresses. Time for a reality check I have in my profile I DO NOT do on line so dont ask me to. Do you think you are so much better than anyone else that I would go against what I have said. 

Go watch your porn and wank to that I have no interest in YOUR games

Do men really thing if they offer themselves to you in the first message you will accept?

Do they not understand it takes time to get to know each other or were they hoping you just wanted to play.

Get a grip guys  if its play you want be up front and admit it if its longer term you want then take the time

 I am so over guys who feel the need to send me their wank fodder and expect me to have an interest .

If you want to have some outlandish fantasy so you can get your rocks off so be it but all of them seem BORING  to me.

Dont tell me how I will treat you as I have no interest in doing anything with a stranger or anything on line.

DO NOT think you will have me doing things that I have in my profile that I have no interest  in.  

Be happy with your on line games but please leave me out of them. 

How often do we hear how bad CM is, how its filled with Dommes who are playing games and wanting money. While I dont deny there are a lot of those about  there are a lot of subs who are not much better. 

How often do Dom women hear subs wanting to serve them and want to be with them. You make arrangements to meet them and guess what .... no show.

You contact them and they have some excuse  so you give them another chance , so ok you do and  set a time and place to meet again. And you will never guess ... no show again.

They contact you again saying how they were sorry and still want to meet up so you tell them if they want to meet you will be be at this event. They tell you they will be there and wow no show.

SO not just you subs that  played games with.  I dont hold CM responsible but sadly the ones who are playing games.

I think it is simple if you dont really want to serve then contact those who want on line games

I do laugh at the ads on this site. The latest I see is the one that makes a claim that there is one command that makes any women submissive.

That is making the claim that ALL women are submissive which is offensive.

That all men want a women to be submissive

What it really is is let me separate you so called doms who have to much money and no common sense 

I do love it when a dom contacts you and wants to chat then they vanish.

If you are going to have in your profile you are sooo good then why do you need to contact a Mistress. 

Maybe you are not such a slut master as you claim boy.

Am I the only one who sees this as ridiculous ?

" Hi I am a sub/slave who wishes to be forced. to be  Bi, sissy, gay,whipped'

The above is a basic example of what I often get sent to me in messages.

Now call me silly but if you WANT something if you ASK me for something then its NOT forcing you.

forced

  [fawrst, fohrst]  

I do have to share this  joke 

While logged into  CM I noticed my Who's Viewing Me? turn red.

I clicked and had a look . I found it was unusual that is was a "dom", now this is not the first dom who looked at my profile and wont be the last  I, as usual looked at his profile. 

I started laughing when this on line dom stated he wanted people to contact him an d oink for him. He stated he would humiliate them by naming them and claims he has had 30 do this to him.

Since he would of seen me looking at his profile he sends me a message telling me he usually has people oink who look at his profile. Well I cracked up  what a wanker. He looked at mine as I would have no interested in looking at a doms let alone one who is an on line dom. 

He said he would let me off this time but he knew I really wanted to do it. Talk about an on line ego. What a pity he is in the UK or I would ask him to meet with me and see who will oink.  

Why is it some people feel they can tell you what you are. 

I am a Domme  I believe I know what I am better than someone who has not met me.

Dom men who seem to have issues understanding not all women are Sub grow up and accept it. Telling me I have not met the man does not mean you are now going to be that man, maybe you have not met the right women. 

Sub men dont assume a women will want to find her Dom side and dom you. Try respecting her that she will know what she is and even if she does not you telling her to dom you wont help her find it.

You may be into games others are not so how about chatting and getting to know then and respecting what they say.

Be warned about a person going by the name Nancy24y. She says she is single then she claims sheis a dom couple. She will then tell you you are talking to her Brother Chris.

If you search the pic and her email you will find it listed on  many scam sites

It is so interesting how people use phrases to make something more meaningful but yet they dont mean them.

" I mean it this time"

"Nothing will stop me this time"

" I regret not doing it last time"

If you dont mean them dont say them. Dont make promises you cant keep.

I am sure I have said this before but here I go again.

If you do not live in Australia then dont contact me saying you want to serve me. YOU CANT.

If you contact me thinking I will sponsor you to come here. I WONT

If you think I will order you about on cam. I WONT

OK is that clear????

Do I need to repeat the basic info that is in my profile?

if you cant read I am not interested so if you ask something I have already covered you show you have not or can not read

Ill make this clear

• I am not here to get you sponsorship into my country. If you do not live here I am not going to help you get here.
• I am not here to tell you what I do in private with my boy, I dont care what you do in private so respect mine.
• I am not here to play on line games. I have no interest in seeing you on cam and I dont own one.
• I am not here to fill your fantasy. If you just want to pretend then go serf the kinky porn sites and pretend its you
• Dont make arrangements you wont keep
• If you cant read my profile dont expect me to give you much time as lots of information is in it.
• If you do not fit into what I have listed in my profile dont think you are so dam good you will charm me off my feet and Ill ignore all I have listed. Only you think you are that good. 

You just have to love those guys who sent you messages ( if you can call them that) that have really no conversation in them. 

An example  "wow you have big tits" Now this may be something intelligent from this Neanderthal.  It is like he is telling me something I did not know , I mean its not like I have not had them out if front of me for most of my life.

Then when he does not get the reply he wants  such as" Oh thank you you wonderful he man , You have such a way with words" He gets all pissy and calls you fat and says you need to join a gym.

Simple fact skinny girls dont tend to have large boobs unless they are FAKE so if you like larger boobs then you have to deal with a larger lady.

Also why do you  need me to tell you their size, are you going to buy me a bra ? If not then to know the size is unimportant.

I have recently spent 6 wonderful days with my slave. His service in ALL areas was faultless. I wont go into details but I had a smile on my face the whole time I was there.

I am looking forward to this weekend when again  I will have my wonderful slave serving me.

Sadly the other boy wont be joining us  I hope he finds what he is seeking he deserves it.

What a difference a slave makes

On Thursday 23rd I met with my slave in Newcastle, we spent that evening at the motel and my slave cooked a beautiful dinner.  His service was beyond reproach, to have him at my feet was wonderful and he never headed for the chair till he was told. To wake of a morning and him be there kneeling , waiting.

To have him at my feet at a party  till I told him to sit made me feel so proud. To have him open the door of the cab as we went to a show and to hail a cab to get us back.

He wears his collar with pride the same pride it was given and this one is not locked on but this one I dont think needs it locked on.

I cant wait till  my other prospective boy can come and spend time so we can get to know each other better and see what happens then.

Lesson learned 

Over the last few weeks some big changes have happened to me.
I learned that the word "love you" is often meaningless. To elaborate when this is said to you and all the while the person saying it is out screwing about then why bother saying it.

I learned when you ask for honesty it is often meaningless. To elaborate when you ask if they are single and they say they are , only later do you learn that you were "the other women"and they play this same line to the one following you.

I learned when you ask someone if they are happy with how things are and they lie. To elaborate before making some changes to paper work you ask if the other is happy and they tell you they are very happy so you go and make the changes and they lie.

I learned when one says they will be open with you but are not. To elaborate you learn they have told someone they are not being played with enough but yet never said a word to you in fact complained how tired they were and needed sleep.

So the lesson learned watch out for the knight in shining armor he is really a leopard and will never change his spots. Watch out for those calling themselves slave many just want kinky fun.
The lessons learned will help me on my journey as I will not tar all with the same brush as this one since not all are the same but they will be proving they are more than just a mouthpiece. Things I have not wanted to do in the past I will do now I have been burned once never again

I remember my father saying  "never shit in your back yard" Was an odd saying but how  it now rings so true

I put up walls once to protect myself because of things I had been through  in my past, These walls were to keep me safe more so than keep people out but that they did also. Someone got through those walls and just how I am  not too sure , my gut feeling was to turn him down which I did but he tried again and maybe  my defenses were down.

He said he had walls up also , funny people who want to keep others out dont tend to do the approaching . Arriving home late , being stresses and falling asleep ant the drop of a hat and here was me thinking I was doing the right thing letting you rest. So the day I read the email ( the one that stated you have not been with anyone in 18 mths) I learned  that maybe your 3 hr trips home were not via  mates homes to drop things off, or to the office but via her house, after all its on the way home.

Since the lie about the 18 mths was used on her like it was on me  have to wonder who else its been used on. You said you were the victim of women playing about on you, not my style , but funny seems you play about often so did they play about on you or did they catch you out so now you play the victim. 

Was the shark skin needed to keep warm or to hide  marks ???

So back to my fathers words if you plan on screwing around  dont do it in a small town, remember its a small small world

It is good when you can look back on things and see  the signs you missed. How all the gaps are now filled and  little niggles are no longer there. I admit I was blinded but then I was not the expert 

How can one be so blind to not see the end, seems I was. When one day you ask is someone happy and they tell you they are and want you with them then the next you are told its over. 

Guess I was not a very good Mistress , I wish him well .

Team Viewer

Seems many think a good slave should have this I would think a stupid one has it. How silly to allow someone  access to your computer that you hardly know. 

I know some like the idea of losing total control but  really use your big head and think. What is on your computer they could have access to like banking details?

Seems to me Dom/mes like to use the " You're not the real deal " crap to have people make silly moves.

FACT you don't have to prove yourself to a stranger and anyone who would be worthy to own you would want you to be smart enough to protect yourself. Sadly  websites like these are a haven for  those with  not so good intentions 

Location

 Looking down the list of who is on line i see , Australia, NSW or some other vague location.  You read these profiles and  they say they want to meet someone or have someone relocate.

How will they know if they will be suitable if they have no idea where you live. 

NSW is a big state so cant you narrow it down  after all do you really think you will be outed if you say  " Oh I live in Newcastle" 

Get real if you want to meet someones after all most look for someone fairly local so they can meet up in a reasonable time.

This time my rant is about commitment 

Though I have a wonderful slave I still enjoy looking over profiles and it is interesting how many seems to say the same things. "I want to be a slave but only btw the hrs of .... and .." maybe not these words but you get the idea. Then you get the Dom/mes ( sadly more often than not its the women) who say " it will be 100% how I want it when I want it and you are unimportant  but  do give me your money/gifts"

This is all well and good in a fantasy but sadly we cant live in a fantasy and no one is  happy giving totally without getting something back ( and  be honest its more than just seeing your owner happy) 

Like any relationship it takes commitment, not just from the sub but the Dom/me also to make it work.  I feel sometimes  Dom/mes  get a god like mindset when they own someone  feeling its all about themselves  and subs feel if they dont close their eyes to their Dom/mes faults (yes we have them) then they are not being respectful. 

Can one live this lifestyle 24/7 ? I believe you can  but it varies through the day as to where you are and who you are with. Does it mean if you are having dinner with your subs family you are any less their owner because you need to act differently, no your sub knows you own them and you know that he or she is yours.

Commitment and communication go together  in making a relationship and keeping a relationship D/s or vanilla  

I find it so interesting how many married people  come into these kind of programs looking for play. They all claim they are in a sexless marriage but yet its not bad enough for them to get help or to leave.  Others claim to be in an open relationship but their partner has no idea of what they are doing.

I love how they claim to be a good sub but  they cant hold to the vows they made to their partner, playing on line is often emotional infidelity  but as many say to each their own. 

I often wonder how they would feel if the shoe was on the other foot and if their marriage is so bad  most likely it is for their partner also 

Here we are at week one of my slaves challenge and so far so good. He struggled  a few days ago but  he stayed on track , as I said he is a cut above the rest 

Well the time has come and my boy has started probably the hardest test of his submission any Mistress could ask for. 

So far I am so proud  of him   he is showing he is a cut above the rest  

Ahh finally a break from work so I can take my sexy slave off to Lithgow for a few days. He thinks we are here to visit family but he has no idea what I have in store for him.

Wow it has been a while since I have posted here and there have been a few changes. My slave and I still live together  and he has now met all of my close family. I have changed his chastity cage from the cb6000 to the metal pet trap. I have told him he will be in it for a long time this time and as it has the added facility  of a nice pin to add to his discomfort if/when he starts to get hard 

Things have changed and I now live with my slave and how wonderful it is to have him at my side (or feet) when he is not at work.  Nothing can compare with  the feeling a Mistress can get  by having the one who has submitted to her  be so willing to fully serve.

I get so many wanting to serve on line and I feel for them that they think this can ever be as good as being with the one.  

I said it before and I will say it again Its great to have finally met someone who  was not into silly  fantasy games

Had a ball last night. Went shopping , well not really the guy who runs the sex shop  put a toy aside for me and I sent my slave in to pick it up. He had to ask for the item  that was put aside for his Mistress . I went in after and got another toy.

The first one was a wartenburg wheel my slave had no idea what it was  as it was wrapped for me the 2nd  was vibrating nipple clamps. These worked a treat as I have been making his nipples even more sensitive than they  already were 

Wow what a few days went away with my slave to catch up with some friends and to have some fun. 

We had just got back to my slaves place in time to unpack , change and head off to a munch and meet some new wonderful people who are active in the lifestyle. It is so refreshing to get the chance to talk to people who are not into the childish on line games.

Now I think i need a holiday to get over my holiday

Well it has been a while since  I made an entry and what a time it has been. With my boy in his own place I have been stopping over there  many times now.

 I love coming home from work to my boy naked waiting on his knees for me, such a wonderful sight. Its not just the play times that are fantastic but also just having him there in my arms.

It is getting easier to push my boy over the top during play and I think he is suprised  at how he can get there and it no sexual play needed. 

We have also been attending local munches  which has been very rewarding thought my poor boy was a little  uncomfortable at the last one , seems a but plug is  not too comfortable when sitting on hard chairs.

My boy is now in his own place so I went and spent the weekend with him.  How amazing those few days were and who knew Pizza could be such fun.

What I loved was walking in that door after a crap time at work to the vision of my naked boy kneeling, his leash there ready for me to take nothing can compare with that 

My boy and I attended our first Munch together and what a great time we had. Have  not laughed so much in ages with a great bunch of like minded people. We will be going again that is for sure 

One month  how quickly time has passed. One month that my boy has belonged to me.

It has been fantastic and it just gets better and better 

Manners 

Something I hear often, too often, and that is how Dommes do not respond to messages sent to them by subs. Now I do understand if you have in your profile "dont contact me if ....." then someone who falls into that group contacts you but come on is it so hard to reply with a hi sorry you are not what i am looking for?

Come on ladies are we becoming so big headed that we think  showing some manners to a submissive is beneath us? Remember ladies you may think because you are dominate that you are above the basic socially accepted rules but trust me it says more about you than you can think. 

You would not be pleased if a sub was rude well pratice what you preach 

3 new items have arrived for my boy,  as of yet he has no idea what they are but I am sure he will enjoy them and I think he will looks extra hot when he has them 'on" him 

stay tuned as I will be sure to take pics when I get around to using them

First off have to say I love the pics my boy put up as instructed. 

It is so nice to wake to the sound of my boys  voice greeting me and hoping my day is good. How could it not be with such a wonderful start. 

As time goes on  it seems  the more I want to be with my boy  as he serves me in a way no one has before. Cant believe I am so lucky 

I can not say enough how wonderful my boy is. Today he showed what a true slave he is. When His Mistress called he came not once but twice putting me first above all others. 

I was proud of him when I placed my collar on him and as each day passes he shows me more and more what a wonderful slave he is. 

I am very lucky and I know it 

I feel so blessed to have found my boy, he is so caring and attentive. 

It is so nice to hear his voice first thing in the morning as I am starting to wake. It brings a smile to my face that is hard to remove and even a txt from him as I work helps make even a bad day seem good.

Its  not all about sex or kinky play but about being there a word when needed  can make such a difference  

My boys mask has finally arrived. Such nice soft leather that will be laced tight around his head blocking most of his sensors. 

Cant wait to see him in it but  he will have to wait till the time is right 

Not Just about sex

Tonight was a fantastic evening. To call my boy and have him meet me at a club and to have dinner with him and a very close friend, what a nice way to have an evening. My boy being the good slave that he is got his Mistress a drink then went to order our meal, when it was ready he went and  collected it serving it to me. 

To spend even a short time with him brings a smile to my face  he makes me so proud to call him mine

What a great weekend. Firstly I got to collar then lock up my boys cock, that was followed up with a nice warming up of his bum with my new flogger.  Before we attended a concert I slipped a nice butt plug into my boy just so he remembered his place while we were out. 

After coming home we had some interesting times. Next morning I work to a yummy breakfast made by my boy, what a sight him naked his cock encased firmly  his leash hanging from his collar and my boy with a huge smile. 

Sunday was a great day also lots of fun teasing my boy watching him struggle not to get an erection. He made a very impressive lunch and I had thought of taking him out to the movies but decided to stay home. 

Time to test him out some more :)

Well its been a while since I have poster so here goes.

First this I have noticed is on the Newest users,It says to put in a postcode and it will find those close. Ok so since when is Connecticut USA close to Hunter valley NSW Aust?

Next thing, and I address this to the guys since its the only profiles I look at, How come you have a profile that says Looking for a Mistress .....  then when one reads your journals  you state in there you have a mistress ??? Are you slow in up dating or just hedging  your bets?

Ok last thing I have found a boy. He is fairly close to me and so far so good. He will be officially  collard on the 25th of this mth  and his neck is not all that will be locked up :P 

You must be joking 

Just looking at a profile and its is a 19 yr old Domme  now come on who are they kidding they can Dom when they have not yet reached full adulthood? Oh sure I m sure they will tell you they are more mature than most who are older then them but most kids will say that. Then to read one that I looked at wants to " rent the subs out"  hello hun you are not a Domme but a Madam as in one who runs a brothel get off your arse and get a job.

I have a big thing about these fake dommes ( not talking pro doms here) that just want to scam money from guys to play. 

Oh boy 

What is it with young guys thinking that because I am older I am desperate ???

I am not interested in boys in the sense of guys who are young enough to by my son.

Think of it like this in 10 yrs would you still want to be with me when my body starts to give up , what about 15,  20?  What about you wanting kids, you may not now but  down the track you might and you think I am going to have them ?I dont think so 

Are you thinking oh older must have money  well maybe I do maybe I dont but I am not interested in a freeloader. You may give me your submission but remember I give also. 

Please get out of lala land and back on the ground, fantasy is great but lets leave it there. I m a realist and will always look at things from a practical view point.

I will not be interested in a person who lives  long way way, this means if you cant meet me with say 24 hrs notice then maybe it wont work, oh and please guys the "will relocate" please you really think we believe that BS??? You really going to give up job, family , friends  commitments to move closer to me to see if it works?

If nothing else I hope this journal gives people a moment to have a reality check  

Time wasters

As you may have noticed I have emptied my profile and why you my ask ???

I have had it with time wasters. So here is some advice to those seeking ...

Be 99.9% sure you know what it is you want  because if you are a sub looking  for a top or, a top looking for a sub  after you have made contact   and talked then its  going a little bit past the mm am i really a  Dom/sub point.

Work out if you are a Dom/ sub first. If you are just someone wanting to  learn about things fine  but tell them you only want to talk and learn not that you are looking for such a relationship.

If you claim you wish to meet but yet cant find the time to do so then how will you find the time to work on building a relationship? It takes less time to log into  a program and type than it does to go and meet someone and see if they are what you are seeking.

Be honest after all if it does move on to the next level the lies will come out.  Read profiles and  see if you are what the person is seeking and if they are what you are seeking and be realistic about locations after all if you live too far away but are looking for a full time relationship  its not going to work is it , oh and if you claim you will relocate  be sure you mean it and again if you claim this but cant travel to meet then why would you move?

What are YOUR expectations ?

When I started searching for a sub I sat down and  really thought about what I wanted and needed. 

I made a list  thinking about  all areas of a D/s relationship, I looked into my past and took a good look at the  "baggage " I had and  took care of it. I wanted to be ready if/when  I found the one. I did not expect perfection hell I am not perfect but would like to think because I am not seeking someone in their early 20s  to find someone who knows what they want and need.

I understand I am not for everyone but what is annoying is when people say  they want to meet but yet wont set up a time and place  then they make up excuses as to why they have not responded  to your question of  is everything ok or if they do they say yes  cant wait to meet. You can tell when someone was last in here so claiming  you  have been ill /away is easy to show you have been around.

So guess what I am saying is be honest and up front is someone is not the one  tell them   it wont hurt their feelings better to know  and move on 

 This is MY personal view so if it offends suck it up and get over it 

Emotional Infidelity 

So you have found your submissive/dominant  side that is great but you have one small hiccup your attached. Well that should not be an issue should it if you sneak about discretely  who will be hurt?

Come on your partner does not understand, is not into it , is not interested in  a relationship any more. 

Now lets digress for a moment you submit/dom someone you accept/give a "collar' you make a promise to follow/give their instructions so you are now a great sub/Dom. Ahh but we forget one thing you have a small problem of that partner sitting at home what to do  mmm????

Well lets think about this  when you married did yo not make a commitment to that person ? Think about it did you not make a promise to be with them and what have they done for you? Have they stood by you in the bad times been there for you when you were ill ?

If not then fine  end that relationship and move on after all it is dead is it not  AHhh but you say you still love the person and though they are not longer interested in a sex side you dont want to leave them.  All you need is this other person who can meet your sub/dom need nothing more so no harm.

If you really believe what you are doing is not harmful and this goes for those who cyber/RP If what you are doing is not going to hurt anyone then why not tell your partner?

Maybe you wont tell because you know it will hurt them or you are scared they will leave you and you will loose all you have.

SO instead of focusing on what you can get on the side how about giving the attention to your partner and get things fixed and if it cant be fixed then end it for  everyones sake after all when your partner finds out you think they will end it nicely. This lifestyle is still looked down on by many and you are running a risk of being shown up in your community.

Think before you act

Married subs

This is MY personal view so if it offends suck it up and get over it 

The number of subs who have contacted me wanting to submit to me has been interesting.  Interesting in that most have been partnered. This may be fine if their partner knows but seems none have told their wives of this because 

A) she would not understand

B) she thinks this is perverted

Well about A have you talked to her about it?

Were you interested in this before you married?

Did you not make a vow to her when you married ?

B) Maybe she does not fully understand what it involves as all she knows about the lifestyle she knows from bad porn.

I am not interested in married men if your wife is not involved in the lifestyle then you have 2 choices as I see it suck it up  or leave 

 Remember if you play around  and she finds out I bet she wont keep quiet about what you have been up to so is this worth the risk to your marriage?

Think long and hard you have more to loose most likely than the one you could be submitting to