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Hello to all who stumble across my profile.
I am not 'new' to CM; I had a profile here once before. That account got flooded on a daily basis with emails/chat requests from persons seeking sex and sex alone...so, that profile went away permanently. That is not why I am here and if that is what you are seeking, continue to look elsewhere.
Now, before you ask me, 'then why are you here?' please realize that I still don't know how to fully articulate a coherent response to that particular question. It's simply too complex to answer here as if it were an essay to be 'graded' by potential Dom/mes.
I'm seeking something; it may or may not be here. If you wish to be the one to explore 'this' with me, then realize you will have to take it slow and steady, as "I have promises to keep...and miles to go before I sleep."
Thank you for stopping by...and have a great day!
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Off the grid for a while; real life intervenes... |
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It's been raining here for so long. When it hasn't been raining, it's just been a dreary overcast world.
Saturday was the first time I've seen the sun since mid September. A wonderfully bright day without a single cloud in the sky.
I spent a few hours in it, sitting in a college football stadium. Maybe it's because I've not had to deal with it in a while; maybe it's because I just wasn't thinking...
but I am now sporting one of the worst sunburns I've had in a while, and the majority of it is on one side of my face and neck! I look hideously comical.
And it fucking hurts...especially my ear! :( Oh the trials and tribulations of magnolia white redheads! |
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Not that I do it that often, but sometimes drunk just feels good..... |
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So, haven't been on here much lately and have journaled here even less.
Got an email through CM from a male submissive that really got me to thinking.
he wrote me to tell me that he'd read my profile and felt the need to compliment me on what seemed to him to be well-thought and well-worded.
he got what I was saying. But not many people i converse with appear to. i am a life dominant, lifestyle submissive, by choice. I know who i am and what i am. Why do dom/mes still continue to grill me to no end when dialog begins...like i'm confused, or unsure? While i'm not sure if i'll find what i seek here, know that i'm not the least bit confused about ME.
i donno if i'm right (or right to do it...lol), but i blame the submissves out there who aren't submissive, the ones looking for a meal ticket and the ones who play games. they ruin it for the rest of us...but so do the dom/mes who aren't dominant, looking for a hookup and play their own games.
~sigh~i've gotten to where i rarely check this site anymore as i've given up hope of finding anything worth the idea of entertaining, much less seriously considering anything past that. maybe i'm just jaded right now, maybe the 'itch' isn't so bad (yet, or right now) that i'm that desperate to scratch it....
lol....guess time will tell? |
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Got to go to the Saturday portion of the SPLF.
It was my first time and I immensely enjoyed it. The educational component was certainly worth the time/money and I got to meet some of the names I've only read about.
Also got to meet some very interesting and incredibly sexy leather people. Got to watch even more at the play party.
Yes, watch. I didn't know anyone there and was really too shy to approach anyone. Maybe next year... |
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Anyone going to South Plains this weekend? |
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Why do people think that one word emails work?
'Hi' only gets you so far, even in person...
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"...as i have no interest in faking anything....and certainly not this."
That is taken from one of my recent journal entries.
What that means is I'm probably (100% chance) going to turn down those offers for online roleplay, k? |
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i'm getting lots of questions, and i'm afraid this is going to be a continual problem unless i provide a little more information about myself, my history, what i'm looking for and why i'm here.
i've been in the lifestyle since late 2002, on and off. i've been collared once, and it was for about eight months in a 24/7 TPE live-in slave arrangement.
since then, i've done some limited casual play at a dungeon in dallas, joined a few online groups, but have never met anyone from here, or any other website, for that matter.
i'm a naturally dominant female, just not in the lifestyle. i'm taking the very path my own personality would never take me down: submission. it would be no stretch for me to be a dominant, and someday i will probably identify as a switch...but for now, i'm content to explore my submissive side.
i fight myself more than i fight any dominant. so how naturally submissive do i think i am?
i'm not.
But i am a people pleaser and have always been receptive to praise, affection and love. i've always responded well to shame, humiliation and seek to reverse the situation. i seek perfection in myself, but can't obtain it by myself...nor would i want to do so...
and for some reason, need 'confirmation' that i am indeed making progress toward my goals.
i know it sounds sappy and has been said a thousand times over, but it's truly about the journey and not the destination...but i don't want to do it alone.
i've never been dominated by a female, in any way, form or fashion. i've always been the dominant in any relationship with females that i've ever been in.
Would i want to be dominated by a female? sure i would...but she would have to be a strong one, as i have no interest in faking anything....and certainly not this.
i've a significant other who is not interested in the lifestyle...at all, but allows me to explore it as i see fit. If that bothers you, move along.
So...Why am I here?
To experience more. To learn more. To be more.
And my personality? What should people know? What about me?
Shall I try and sum myself up (in 200 words or less)? Can I package it prettily enough you become instantly enthralled and want to read more?
Let's go with the truth: I'm dark, sarcastic, clever, smart, creative and sexy.
What are instant turn offs?
I don't like people demanding pictures, and that we immediately meet. I can't stand people who use this world to get things that they can not get in the 'real' world...such as sex or companionship. I am not here to endure a few spankings in order to get laid...
Any instant deal breakers?
People who are intolerant of the responsibilities of my real life/career/hobbies.
Hope this helps....have a great day!
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She slips into bed beside him, and he gently startles. "What are you doing here?" he asks quickly followed by, "And why are you wearing panties?"
She says nothing but rolls over onto her stomach, and arches her back as she raises herself to rest on her hands and knees. He kneels up behind her and runs his hands up her bare back and then down again. His fingers lightly trace where the edge of the black lace meets her magnolia white skin at her waist and hip.
He places one hand between her legs and strokes her pussy through the already damp fabric. He smiles, knowing she is wet and ready for him, and if he wasn't hard before, he most certainly is now.
He roughly pulls her panties off, seemingly offended they separate him from what he wants, grabs her hips and shoves his dick into her in one quick motion.
Closing her eyes as she savors his first thrust into her, she smiles and finally, breathlessly answers his questions as she whispers, 'That's why.' |
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So, apparently my 'filter' journal entry made some people smile...and some even emailed me to tell me so!
Got this from a dom:
Love your journal...
Do not forgret the "I want real time (not really...I just want to jerk off on line) filter!"
~applying new filter~ LMAO!!! |
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LMAO...this is long, but too good not to share! And if it offends you, you might need to (1) reevaulate yourself or (2) turn down your sensitivity meter. Enjoy!
I've been talking about the amount of mail I get, right? I'd already noticed the little link at the bottom that says:
Overwhelmed by too many messages?
Set your mail controls to filter out unwanted senders.
So I checked it out. I could apply the following filters: no profile; out of state; other countries; male (D or s); female (D or s); couples; older than _____; younger than _____.
Should I block those with no profile? Probably. I live in close proximity to three other states besides Texas, so the out of state filter didn't help. Other countries? You betcha! But gender, ‘type,’ couples or age? Not a whole lot of help.
But people are reading my journal. They seem to understand I might take a while to answer.
Got an email from a male dom (part of a m/f dom couple) we shall call ‘cute and witty.’ (while he did not mind my recounting our conversation, I’d rather not divulge their cm identity, for fear that if I am interested in them, someone will steal them away…lol) ;)
Cute and witty: lol…yah, I bet the inbox is filling near to bursting. Have you found the stupidity filter yet? I think ours is broken :P
Textasy: LMAO. Hello...thanks for viewing my profile and taking the time to write. There's a stupidity filter?!? OMG, where do I get one of those???
Cute and witty: Yanno, I wish I could find it...lol...lord would it save a ton of time! Ooo...ooo....and a penis detector! You know...so when someone emails I can tell if they have one or not! Then all the dudes pretending to be girls would be SCREWED! Errr.....or rather, not screwed, as the case may be :P
Textasy: well, if that's the case i want this detector (not sure what the name of it is):
"I can't get laid in the 'real' world, so I'll give myself a dominant sounding name and troll bdsm websites." Wait! Can we call that the LOSER detector?
Cute and witty: LMAO Loser detector..I like that...lol. Maybe we could design one and market it!
Oooo...and a "freaky psychopath" filter, too. Those would rock! Or better yet, when you create a profile, you must list all your current medications!
Textasy: Is the ‘freaky psychopath’ filter the same as the ‘drama’ filter? I don’t think so.
Textasy: ~applying the stupidity filter, the penis detector, the loser filter, the freaky psychopath filter, and the drama filter~
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Textasy: WTF?!? Hey! Where did everyone go? | |
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OK, I made myself a promise: that it didn't matter who wrote me (so long as they weren't rude), I'd make sure I responded.
I think it's the least you can do when a person takes the time out of their day to reach out to you. Besides, I don't want to be one of 'those' I see so many dom/mes blog about: you know, the rude subbies who won't even take the time to respond?
If those rude subbies get half as much mail as I've been getting, I can almost understand why they 'ignore' people. But even if I can say I almost understand it, I don't think iI can excuse it. Why? See my statement above.
I might not be the one for you and you might not be the one for me, but you made contact. I owe it to you to acknowledge that contact was received and appreciated. It's the same to me as ignoring a stranger on the street who says 'hello.' I can, at the very least, say hello in return.
Guess that's the friendly Texan in me comin' out. But jeez, it's sure easier to say 'howdy' than answer all this mail.....again, bear with me, I strive to answer it all. :) |
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So, I have a new profile here. Was getting a respectable amount of email inquiries.
Then my picture got approved...lmao
Bear with me as I wade through my inbox. I apologize in advance if it takes me a while to answer. |
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Submission is like love...enter it with complete abandon, or not at all. |
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| Age: 26 |
| San Francisco Bay,
California |
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