Take a deep breath. Welcome to the realm of alternative living and playing.

Be polite.  Whether you think yourself a dominant or submissive, you should first respect everyone as human beings.

Be clean.  Seriously....

Understand boundaries.  Only YOUR dominant has the right to order you around. Only YOUR submissive has any obligation to serve you.

The terms master, slave, dominant, submissive, boy, service, 24/7, edgeplay, etc., can, and often do, mean something entirely different from what you than you expect or have read on the internet. Face to face interactions can save you from falling for *insert name of least favorite BDSM site*'s Master Knowitall who turns out to be two fourteen year olds with vivid imaginations. Find someone to talk to that makes sense to you. We have great discussions about what things mean to us every Saturday at Rudz and lunch after.  We all make it a point to troll.... I mean encourage the new folks.  *grins*  I never mind answering sincere questions about me and my slavery.

Listen, ask questions and be honest.  It is ok to say "I don't know".

Be honest about your experience or lack there of.  Be honest about your situation, if you are married, have an STD, a criminal record or are a secret republican….  *grins * just kidding.  Be upfront about it.

Be smart.  There are parties somewhere almost every weekend.  The safest place I know to play is *insert favorite club name here* on a Saturday night. If you insist on playing privately, take the time to get to know the person you are going to play with.  If you wouldn't give them your credit card number, why in the heck would you allow them to tie you naked to a bed and beat you????  A safe word is only as useful as the integrity of the person tying the knots.

Be prepared for injury.  I don't know a single person who plays with knives that hasn't accidentally cut themselves or someone else.  I havent ever seen anyone even need stitches, but I have refilled the bandaids a couple times. Please don't bleed on anything that doesnt belong to you without permission.  Whips can slice, fire can burn, and blood can flow from a variety of things we do.  My point is, have a plan.  We carry a 1st aid kit and so do many other folks.  Every new toy bag should have one.

Lust comes fast with an endorphin rush. Trust should come slower.

Because he/she made you see stars does not mean they know how to be your dominant.  By the same coin, just because he/she kneels and waits on you adoringly all weekend doesn't mean they are capable of being your submissive.

Reflect and take your time. Don't jump into relationships before you have a grasp of what makes YOU tick in this realm of kink.

Know yourself. Someone once told me "If your over 21, your emotional baggage can no longer fit in the overhead compartment" If you have a history of physical or emotional abuse, addiction, or neglect, it can and does bubble up in play with tops and bottoms alike.

Tops and bottoms both can experience endorphin rushes and drop.  Not everyone reacts to the jolt of adrenalin or endorphins that play causes the same way.  The same goes from coming off those lovely brain chemicals.  Some eat, some fast, some bitch, some glow.  *shrug* Remembering you had the play, keeping up nutrition, and getting adequate rest can alleviate the more negative side of drop.

Be a responsible parent.  Everyone with kids in school knows how computer literate our children are. Your kids can find those nude photos of you. You know the one with your bruised ass in the air? I know I always knew where to find my Dad and Uncles porn. My daughter found mine.  *laffin* Someone I know recently had their adult child admit to inviting friends to watch videos of their parent in bondage.

It is one thing for your kid to find it, what if your kid's enemy finds it?  Just something to think about.

Be tolerant.  Everyone has a right to his or her own kink. If what you see upsets you, walk away.

Last, but not least, have fun!  Find what blows your skirt up. Find what makes you hard or wet.  YOU are responsible for your own pleasure or lack there of.  If you are not getting what you want, I am thinking you should re-evaluate what you are doing to get it.

slave ~she

Property of Master Barton