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Im Rob. Robert the Bald. Rob the Sparky.
After 15 years of doing this thing we do, Ive discovered that I am a twisted, sadistic fucker and a reaction junkie. Im also kind-hearted and given to silly bouts of song parodizing and irreverent humor.
I mean no harm.
Ive also discovered an empty spot, a spot for a masochistic playmate that I can get attached to. She should be single, but doesnt have to bisexual. She should understand that Im married, that WendyLady is my primary and my day to day everything revolves around her. She will always be beta, for WendyLady is my Alpha and my Omega.
I dont like drama or dishonesty. I dont take well to manipulation, and I wont be your Sancho. Keep this in mind and we should get along well.
Point of note. Just because I comment on your journals, profile, or pictures, or make idle chitchat with you, doesnt mean that Im trying to get under your skirts.
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I'll never know why, but for some reason when I read somebody's profile that touts how intelligent, well-read, and educated they are I want to go after it with a red pen and enumerate all of their spelling mistakes. |
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(Gone Sovereign- Stone Sour)
No one's laughing now
No one's laughing now
I'm sullen and sated
And you can't put a price on me
I won't share this disarray
I won't pull these hands away
I need to be chosen
And my God, don't pray for me! |
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I think every girl needs to see "Brave" ... even the older ones. |
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O M G
I could SO use a nice, thuddy flogging to loosen up my shoulders and back... |
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This is my first journal entry in about 11 months, my first time on CM in about 6 months. I'm not in any hurry, nor am I on the hunt. I got mine, and anybody else is just a conversation, or a plaything... friends at most.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Just because I look at you, doesn't mean I'm trawlling you. Just because I send you an email, because I giggled at your journal entry, or I appreciated your photo doesn't mean I'm trying to get under your skirts. |
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Far as I know, Bondage Camp at TRF is slated for the first wknd of November.... If you're in Houston, there's a TRF Bondage Camp Kinksters group on FL. |
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So why care for these petty obsessions? Your designer heart still beats with common blood. |
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Finding myself through my ancestors...
Bit by bit, question by question, answer by answer... I'm starting on a quest to rediscover my family, heritage, and people. It's not easy by any means, when nobody paid attention, or felt like it was worthy of note.
Sadly, up until last year, I numbered among those. I didn't much care who my great-grandfather was, or who my mom's dad was. The lines were so unclear that I didn't want to mess with untangling the strings of connections and branches. My daughter, bless her heart, made a comment that kind of smacked me across the jaw with something that rang true in my own heart.
"I'm not REAL sure who I am, because I only know my mom's family."
I guess we're in the same boat, aren't we baby-girl?
So today, with an interview that seemed more like an interrogation, I've begun my search. My mom's people... My dad's people. Heaven knows I could use some help. JP Morgan Chase knows, I'm a little bit broke, so I'm kinda leery of genealogy websites and professional services.
Anybody knowledgeable about all this stuff got a few bones for a mutt dawg?? |
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Ho I was shooting the breeze with my daughter today. We were thumbing through this manly book (for overgrown frat boys) called "National Lampoon's PIMP IT YOURSELF!"
I shoulda known better. I swear we were just goofing around with this thing. And then we stumbled upon it.....
A SPUD GUN!!!
So now, this is mine and my baby girl's current project.. A spud gun. Of course, I can't be sated by a run of the mill, hair spray and PVC Spud Gun. We've decided to over power this thing, and make a gas propelled Tennis Ball Cannon!!
This is going to be most interesting........ |
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Kilt pics are up, if anybody's interested... |
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Okay, so I've been working on a kilt for myself, right? The more I work on it, the more semblance I see between the box-pleated, contemporary kilt, and the box pleated, catholic school girl's skirt.
This shit just ain't right.... |
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Okay, so I took some passport photos today. HOLY CRAP!!... I didn't realize how thugly and intimidating I look with my beard grown out so much... No wonder children cry when they see me, and old women fall faint.
I think I'll keep it, after Ren Faire. |
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WANTED: Pretty little thing, with nice legs, able to iron and fold in apron, thigh highs and heels, for NSA Ironing and folding. Namely of my shirts. Maybe a few pairs of slacks. I don't wanna fuck you, just watch you iron and fold a few items, scantily clad.
please send a pic of your ironing, hose, heels, and apron.
I know, I'm awful. But I hate ironing..
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Happiness is....
Watching my girl, who is not even the LEAST BIT bi, lusting over Maggie Gyllenhaal's fetish modelling photos (Agent Provocateur)
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am now owned and am not to speak to Dominants or submissives, thank You
I saw this on somebody's profile today, and quite frankly it makes me nervous. Why?
It's not because I wanted the girl, or because I feared her Master/Dom/Top/Daddy. I wasn't even aware of her until I flipped through the list of users with pictures and came across her profile. Things like this just kinda set off a whole bunch of bells and whistles and (you guessed it) a red flag in my head. I certainly hope I'm wrong, but who knows...
http://www.askdollie.com/acid_test.htm
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www.thehoustonmentors.com
I would recommend this year long class to anybody that is willing to make a commitment to being a better Dominant/Master/Top/Daddy. I'm planning to do it this year.
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I'm thuroughly pissed right now. This will probably turn into a rant.
My Daddy has decided to give up the fight againt cancer, and is dying.
I know that it's his choice and not mine. I know that there's nothing I can do to stop him from choosing this path, or to stop the cancer that's taking him away from us. I know that I am expected to be the good son and just help out where I can, because we're not blood, and this is a job for the grown folks.
But in my heart of hearts, I rage. My heart cries out and my blood boils, and I scream at the Creator for the cancer that has entered our lives.
I'm pissed at him too. Why? Why on top of all of this should my displeasure matter? It doesn't. It's less than important, I'm sure. But for crissakes, he taught me NOT to give up, not to give in, to exhaust all options before I'm willing to say it can't be done.
I'm not in his shoes, but I feel like he's just giving up, and it's all because the doctors at the VA said so. That goes against everything he taught me.
So yeah. Maybe I'm selfish. Perhaps I'm wrong. But god dammit I'm hurt and I'm pissed.
<end of rant> |
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I ran across this link in somebody else's profile, but I forget whom. Regardless, I think it's soething we should all read, no matter what side of the kink you sit on.
http://www.askdollie.com/acid_test.htm |
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**CROSSPOST***
I asked somebody that I played with, a dear friend and confidant, to write about one of our scenes. It was a rather dark scene. Therapy, not necessarily fun. A taking if you will. She posted tis in her journal, and in turn I put it in mine.
thank you destiny.....
11/20/2009 9:47:13 AM: Pulling up into his place, already my stomach was fluttering. Enough times had past you would think that I would not get these butterflies, but still they happen. Earlier in the day the texting war between us that went on, I could tell his mood was different than a normal Wednesday night. Standing at his door, knocking softly as the door opens, walking in everything seems just fine and normal.
As the door closes, I feel his presence change, no longer my dear friend, but now a dominant male that will take what he wants. Again the butterflies happen as we talk for a few moments, the general how was your day and are you ready for tonight type questions. Of course I am ready for tonight, thinking it to be a normal play night for me. He leads me into his room and shows me the new restraints he has, hospital type restraints swallowing hard the mischeivious side of me knowing that these are much harder to get out of then the ones he normally uses.
As a tease and test I think he shows me just how well they work, standing against the wall my hands placed at level with the restraints, they are at a great height for me thinking that is it I start to move only to be pushed against the wall/door and my hands entrapped by the new toys. A soft giggle escapes him as he comments on just how helpless I am, pulling against the restraints realizing he is right but I am still clothed I am still safe. He leaves me there a few moments before giving one hard swat against my ass, but the blue jeans I wear thankfully provide a bit of padding.
He comes back close to me, whispering softly into my ear to prepare myself for him and the upcoming night and to understand that tonight will be different than other nights. Still on the safe side of my mind, I smile softly thinking he is just messing with my mind like he has a great talent for doing. Respectfully answering him with a simple "yes Sir" as I am released off the wall and move to strip down.
While I am doing this I hear the distinct jingle of one of my most loved but most annoying toys, hoping it was just my imagination I kneel down by the wall, waiting on him to return. My wait was not that long he comes in a smirk on his lips and the jingle balls ready for me. Shivering slightly they are placed deep inside of me, moaning at the thought of every movement tormenting me and pushing me closer to having to beg permission for orgasm.
Pulling my hair gently as he guides me to my feet and pushes me against the wall, his knee "kicking" me a few time just to make sure the balls inside of me move as he takes one hand entrapping it into the cuff. Used to hearing a soft growl from him there is silence now, the silence making me shiver softly as he takes my other hand putting it into the restraint. The music he picks slowly start to play and again I hear his soft whisper of "you're not going anywhere tonight girl". Understanding this pretty well as I lean against the wall feeling him leave my flesh.
I feel soon after the soft leather tails of his flogg, so soft and unintimidating as I arch my body out just a little enjoying the feel of it. The hits slowly come down on my back and ass, moving with the strikes feeling so good. Quickly though the softness turning harder strikes with the toy but this is what I have come to enjoy and expect from him.
After the short warm up he changes up toys, he brings out his seemingly favorite toy, the "whole ass paddle" and starts in on my ass, the paddle making itself well known to my flesh as he teases with the maybe it will be a soft blow or maybe a hard blow game. Whimpers and yelps escape my throat and hearing his words about him being evil or and asshole drifting into my ears but focused mainly on the sensations he is feeding me and the electricity in the air.
The balls still tormenting me as he takes up a set of thicker heavier floggs and uses the flourintine style on my back moving up and down making sure not to miss a spot before landing a few harder than normal blows against me pushing me hard against the wall by instinct trying to get away from the blows. I am panting now and growling a bit myself as I push myself further to accept what he is giving me. He leaves me there for a moment leaving the room allowing me to calm down a little.
Soon though he returns, I am not sure if it happened but could almost feel the evil smirk play against his lips as he brings out the single tail. I hate that toy, so many bad memories from my past and he knows I fear its pop and its touch but also knows I want to get over my fear. The pops coming somewhat quickly making me tense up pulling hard against the restraints holding me I would want nothing more than to be free of the cuffs and hide under the bed. Of course he would not allow that. Then the sting as the single tail touches my flesh, the sting not bad but the fear and emotions running through me making me yelp and whimper as he pops it time and time again letting the tail kiss my flesh at different times.
He has learned to watch me, after what I think is almost a lifetime from the start of him using the single tail again I hear his voice calling me a good girl, this simple little phrase making me feel as if I had just been solely responsible for world peace, relaxing a little knowing I had done well with what scares me a lot.
He picks up yet another toy, and again starts to move the leather harder up and down my back and ass, the cool down and single tail having given my body a chance to adjust but the heavy strikes making it seem that much more sensitive. Again the whimpers and moans escape me, pulling hard against my captor, the wall, crying out as he does nto let up this time, he continues to bring the flogger down hard against me.
My mind racing on how to please him trying to arch out a little hoping to make him smile and see that I am a good girl and that I want his touch. I think it works for a moment, then hearing his command to arch out further to put my feet back where I am leaning against the wall having my arms be my support rather than my feet to stay standing straight.
Again I feel the paddle and the balls move they have been moving this whole time but hard to focus on them and the blows coming my way. The paddle making its mark once more and pushing me forward only to have him pull me back to where he desires me. This position is hard to stay in as he takes up his policemans baton, now this comes against my ass. Harder than he normally uses it against me my whimpers seemingly not heard as the whimpers turn into yelps and moans. He continues on to use the baton on the fleshy well padded ass of mine.
Thankfully once more silence and left alone, tears stinging my eyes as he leaves as the moments are given to cool down the tears start to flow a bit more freely, the space I am in now, I feel helpless, I know I am at his mercy. Soon my head is way high in the clouds hearing him come back in I ask to resume the original position so I am not at this awkward angle and my arms are not supporting me up. Denied I am told as again I feel blows come down on me.
The yelps and moans turn into screams and cries, this is almost to much for me to take but he continues on, pushing me and letting the leather do his work for him. Crying, begging and pleading in words that even I could not understand coming from me, wanting to cum, wanting mercy but not wanting him to stop. From instinct I guess I move back against the wall with out full permission but my knees are starting to give. Hearing him call out to me to cum on command, So thankful that he allows me to cum but the wave crashing hard into me and the blows frmo the floggs almost knocking the breath from me as my legs start to buck against the thought of holding me up.
Hanging/standing against the wall that held me I simply sob, crying out as he pushes me against teh wall again pulling my hair making my head arch back, his words so soft and menacing "I'm not done yet". As again he steps from me, landing the lighter floggs now against my back ass and thighs, the blows so hard against my already tender flesh. Sobbign and crying as the strikes come the jerking away and moving scared of the next blow taking its toll on me. Quickly I almost fear that I have gotten in over my head tonight.
Again he yells at me, asking me if I am going to code out or if I can take more. Tears streaming down my face as he gives me barely anytime to think of an answer for him as the blows come harder and harder. Finally I think I manage to get a nod or a yes Sir that I was close to my safeword or was it him having mercy on me. I like to think at that moment it was him having mercy on me. My mind was so clouded yet free, my entire world during that moment was him and what he wanted out of me. Pushing me against the wall, as he takes the restraints off my hands his voice still hard but now a softer ring to it as he pulls me close holding me letting me feel the comfort that only a Master can have. Feeling him rock me slowly, so tender after the beating he just delivered. Allowing me to find my knees once again laying my head aginst his thighs and the most precious reward I can ask for feeling his hand on my hair petting me, telling me how good of a girl I am.
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Well folks, I managed to get the window fixed. $85 for a window that was quoted $190 at other places. Email me if you're local and you want the number. |
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ATTENTION HOUSTONIANS
Now I know this might be strange, and maybe even an odd place to ask, but I'll try.
This morning, my truck was broken into, my window smashed. GPS was stolen. Does anybody know anybody with a hook-up for Auto glass?
I'm trying to save myself the $500 deductible here, so if somebody can hook a brothah up, drop me an email.
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The world is full of double entendres. For instance.
I like it with the grass cut low... big mountaintops, valley below... I love it when you scream out my name...
"What I learned out on the road" -Kid Rock
You'd have to be a pervert, or just think about it, to realize he's talking about a woman's body. Gotta love Rock'n Roll.
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I ran across something today, and it just threw me. A young lady on this site, Austin based, claims to want slavery as a means to escape her debts.
Wot the HELL, Bobby?
I've heard of using the lifestyle for various things. As a sexual vehicle, as therapy, even as an excuse for things. But using the Lifestyle to try to escape the reality of your own financial blunders is just un-called-for.
In the journal entries, the girl complains about single men approaching her. Hell, she's alienating the ONE set of people that MIGHT be willing to help her out of this situation, even if it DOES require her making good on her offer of slavery. Is she scared she might have to make good on her offer, perhaps?
This is the clincher for me, you ready?
1/5/2009 11:52:10PM OMG SINGLE MEN FUCKING STOP !!!!!!! i FEEL LIKE i JUST GOT THROWN TO THE LIONS!!!!!
honey.. you threw YOURSELF to the lions. when you make up an ad, offering yourself up as a slave in order to escape your financial irresponsibility.
But I guess that was pretty irresponsible, wasn't it?
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Things have been interesting since last I wrote. Sometimes I truly wonder if I'm still one of Us or not. Either way. New job, new company, more money, creeping out to parties is a maybe at this point.
I lost my cellphone, so if you have my number, txt or call me. Until next time, blessed be, merry part, and all that jazz. |
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I was browsing profiles and journals, and came across this particular Lesbian Switch. I read her profile thuroughly, especially the journal.
She really goes off on the fucktards, lemme tell ya!! I'll probably be shoved into the same folder as those other guys, but I popped off an email to her anyways, expressing my admiration for the way she really blasted those guys.
I probably shouldn't have. I likely should have just kept on rolling. But something about the profile just beckoned to me. She intrigued me, to say the least.
We'll see... |
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Lemme tell ya about ducks folks.
Ever watch a duck on the water.... how calm and quiet they are? So serene, as they glide across the water, turning and darting with the greatest of ease.
Little do we realize, that little shithead's paddling like hell under the surface, and making it look like child's play. That little fucker's working his ass off.
that's how I feel sometimes. Trying so hard to pull everything together, and keep my cool at the same time. Little does anybody know any different....
>QUACK!!!!< |
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I AM OF THE RADAR FOR A WHILE DUE TO NO ACCESS. |
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Okay folks... The verdict's in... If you're in Seattle, go check out the Seattle Sex Positive Community Center. Be warned, though. Somebody's gotta vouch for you, in order to get in.
It's worth it. My beloved took me there and we had one helluva time. People were whuppin, and flogging, and binding, and suspending. I watched some mean dykes beating one another up, and almost wished I could participate. Also, another scene that caught my eye was this older gentleman getting completely whupped by two mean assed FemTops from two different ends of the spectrum. Gotta love a mean bitch. My kudos to you bro. You're my hero.
Something else I found interesting was the back bedroom. It's literally a BED room. You can divine the purpose on your own, I'm sure, But they had a 4 point sling in there too. I think I want a sling in my playroom...
The highlight of the evening. Beyond the bindings, beyond the scenes, beyond the rough sex and gentle lovemaking, was the moment when I looked her in the eyes, snagged the chain of her collar with my finger, and took a kiss from her lips.... long, hungry and passionate, screaming my desire silently into her flesh.... when I let her loose, I whispered, deep and throaty....
"....mine..."
and she responded... her voice quiet and breathless...
'yours.. for as long as you'll have me..'
I've staked my claim and it's been acknowledged.. And it's making me a very happy Papi.. |
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Yanno.... I have to say... I'd like to find a woman who thinks her best assets don't go in her bra....
While I DO enjoy some of the softer, more voluptuous parts of the female anatomy, I like a woman with more to offer than just a nice form or a willing mouth. Howsabout some substance out there? |
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Fireplay- n. BDSM/sensation play involving the use of fire, and/or the heat thereof.
Cupping- n. Accupressure technique in which the flesh is suctioned into a container and held for a time, increasing bloodflow to said area.
I had a most excellent fire-cupping scene this weekend. You see, there is this Uber Hot Switch that I know across town from celli and I. She's opened up her casa to play parties, and I among several others have been busting butt, helping set it all up. She threw a party for us all this weekend. Since I'm going to miss the party, celli was kind enough to show up with a cake, and put a lovely twist on the whole thing as well.. But I digress....
We'll call her L. About 5-5 with semi-long, dark hair, and lovely eyes. An ageless figure and some of the most beautiful ink I have ever seen. She's hot, and I've been telling her so for a while.
She'd heard celli talking about my fire-cupping set and was intrigued, requesting (through celli) that I bring it to the party for a sample. Ever happy to oblige, I gave her a small sample of it on her shoulders and she enjoyed it thuroughly. Whetting the appetite, perhaps?
I suggested a full treatment later, once things had settled down.
Later, L and another Domme and I (we'll call her MsK) were downstairs and she's looking at boytoys on CM... I asked her if she was ready for her cupping, and she said she was, putting on music, and asking how I wanted her.... mmmm let me count the ways, L...
I was a gentleman, keeping my laviscious thoughts from reaching my lips and patting the massage table. I'm sure she read the delight in my eyes as she disrobed for me and laid her lithe form on the massage table. Indeed it was a sight to behold as I skitted my fingertips across ehr flesh, getting a feel for anythign I had to be careful off, and admiring the musculature of her back, bottom and legs.
(Folks, this woman has misbehaving legs... you know...they go right on up and make a perfect ass of themselves??)
MsK was laying across the bed, with a smile from ear to ear. (She'll light up a room with that thing, yanno...) L has laid herself out for me so lovely, and I pop the box open, laying out my leather disks and soaked cotton, placing them on her back, and lighting them up one at a time, then placing the cup over them to allow it to suction. Each one is greeted with a kiss or a moan... she squirms and writhes a little, as I run my fingers over the cups... We get up to 8 and I stopped, pulling my talons from the case and slipping them on.
She's a happy camper... very happy indeed, as I drag my talons across her skin, between the cups and along her legs. She kicks and wiggles, pushing that beautiful bottom up in the air for me. I smack it a few times and rub it, much to her (and MsK's) delight. I'm in sensory overload, with the mixture of sight, music, touch and aromas when I realize that the door is full of people watching us play.
No point getting shy now, I guess. I continue to play across her flesh, tickling her more sensitive places but remaining the gentleman. She's moaning and groaning and very active, so I begin removing the cups, drawing out ecstatic dance from her as I move from cup to cup.
With the last cup off, I drag my fingers down her flesh and back up again, gripping her hair and whispering in her ear, my voice a low basso rumble. "how you feelin'?" "..mmmmm very good..." and she turns on the table, her hand snaking up around my head (where I would usually have hair), and pulling me close for a long, passionate kiss.
Pulling back with a smile, I pick my talons up again, dragging them across her lovely form. and enjoying her touch, her smell, her very presence as she touches and caresses, kisses and tantalizes me. At long last, she holds me close and bites me gently, whispering in my ear, with a husky, quiet tone... "Happy birthday"
I don't smoke... But heaven knows I needed a cigarette after that one.
I had a number more scenes that night, even another fire-cupping demo. But this stuck in my mind good and tight. I'm looking forward to the next small gathering at the house of L. |
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Here's another word for the wise. KNOW YOUR GEAR!!!!
I decided to borrow a friend's ladder last night, to install a cieling fan. It was one of those folding doohickeys that makes a scaffold, etc etc etc..
The cieling fan went up without a glitch... it's up and running. no wobble, no smoke or sparks. I think I'm in the clear. well, I was trying to break the ladder back down so I could put it in my truck, and when I loosed the wroing latches, it came down and >SMACK!!!!< Busted me in the lower portion of my nose!
I was stunned. I didn't curse, or cry. My first concern was that it may bleed all over my friend's carpet, and so I hurried to the bathroom. I managed to not break my nose, or bleed on her carpet, and so I was relieved.
The sweet Sadist that she is, my friend chuckled and said "Wow, you didn't even say any bad words. I'm impressed!"
So folks, I warn you... Know your gear. |
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words to the wise.
Don't sweat the petty things....
And don't pet the sweaty things...
It works on SO many levels... I love it!! |
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Last night was interesting, to say the least.
I bought a new razor, especially for being a SBD(Sexy Bald Daddy) and wasn't quite used to it, so I cut myself several times. I didn't look too debonaire with dot-bandages on my baldness. It was the butt of several jokes that evening, including "He was experimenting with blood play, in the shower."
I went to celli's Company Christmas party, and persevered as it was not the most exciting party in the world. The food was good though. Some of celli's co-workers are kinda hot.
From there we went to Safari Mike's place and the fun began. I walked into the garage, and saw a girl I was s'posed to see being played by some friends of mine. It's quite nice, the way a masochist will react some times. This girl, in the midst of her beating, was emitting a combination moan/giggle, for instance.
Truth was, she was being tickle/fucked(not literally) by the floggers, inside her mind. She was very much getting off to her beating, even though somebody that was watching didn't seem to think so at first. She said the girl was unresponsive, but what I saw was far from that. This girl was getting OFF.
I had the opp to watch her again later, with the violet wand. She REALLY enjoyed that. I'm starting to think that she has her O button hard wired to her pain receptors. I wonder what her sexual pleasure receptors are hard wired to???
So... after all that, some other friends were holding a demo for a newbie I also demonstrated for her florentine style flogging. She enjoyed it alot. Also, she enjoyed her lesson/training from the P's.
The P's are some great people. Quite approachable, and very nice. I have alot of respect for them. You might wonder why. I'll tell you. These folks are always taking the time to talk to other people in the Community. Always educating, always helping.
Well, to top off the evening. I had asked Mr.P if I could play with the mrs. earlier in the week. More correctly, I had told him I wanted to talk to him about it. I guess this was something of interest, because he'd said that the mrs. had been all nervous about it.
I dunno why. I'm not all that. but we had a really good flogging scene, and I even swung that monster flog again. I'm not gonna say that I put on a stellar performance. I merely did my best and had fun. She enjoyed my attentions thuroughly and in honesty, I had doubted that I was up to her calibre of play.
I conquered a little demon.
Self-doubt is dealt a nasty blow..
After that, I had the opportunity to demonstrate my new cupping kit, first on celli's boobies, and then on this ungodly yummy girl. She bruised quite nicely at the time and she enjoyed the experience. She later got needlepricked by mrs P. While I don't think it's my thing (YET!) it was interesting to watch.
Finally, I took celli home, and had more fun with cupping, and beat her ass. It was a good party weekend. |
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Well folks.... Now I'm pissed. This may very well turn into a rant, so STAND BY FOR WAVES or just click on the (PROFILE>>) button if you don't care to read it.
I'll begin with a question. How well do we really know one another in chatrooms? Do we follow one another around, and observe one another's day-to-day living? Do we really know what's going on in one another's lives, or are we limited to just what we are told? The question is relatively rhetorical but there is a point.
If you've never met, never been around, never really known somebody, other than in a chatroom, and even then not recent, what right do you have to judge them? Exactly who are you, that you can judge somebody and have the audacity to demonize them to somebody else??? Who in blazes makes you God of the BDSM Conclave and gives you the RIGHT to be the judge and JURY to some poor schmuck that you don't even know beyond the 1's and 0's on this computer screen; Somebody on the other end of the scroll?
There must be something holy in The Scroll that enables some of us to discern who is and is not a Dom/me, Master, Mistress, slave, submissive, slut or pet. Perhaps there is something within The Scroll that eliminates the need to actually know somebody before judging them..... Or perhaps some folks need to just GROW THE FUCK UP and get over themselves, instead of holding onto the past and judging somebody they have not spoken to BEYOND THE SCROLL...
I won't try to say I'm any kind of innocent, or that I've never done anything to piss anybody off. I know better. But I've not done anything worthy of being demonized to a community that doesn't even know anything about me, and would otherwise never have heard of me. I WILL say, however, that in the last few years, I have grown and changed, and matured. I wish I could say the same for my detractors.
-->END OF RANT<--
I'm sorry folks, but some times things piss me off. Let's all play nicely, and try not to be mean to one another, eh???
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I had a killer weekend, at the Eros Birthday/Halloween Party, here in Houston, TX. I didn't dress up, but I'll call it my Vin Diesel costume. (TRANSLATION: I was too lazy to dress up.)
I met a bunch of folks that I 'knew' from CM, and that was cool. Saw even more folks that I haven't see in forever. I even got to test my Florentine skill, and prove myself.
You see, three folks I know have two monstre moosehide floggers between them.Twins, with 72 falls apiece. The crafter says they're 6 pounds, but I'm thinking more 12. I was able to Florentine (dual flog) with these floggers. Amazingly enough, since I went two rounds with those monsters, I'm not sore at all. But a massage would still be nice.
I've found some skills out there in the world that I wanna learn. Namely Breathplay and Devil's Fire. I also would like to hone my skills with Firecupping and Waxing.It's going to be interesting. First I need to find a Teacher.
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Well folks... I had myself a KILLER weekend, out at the Horse Ranch. I dunno the actual name of the place, but I think that tag will do.
I met a bunch of folks from CM, but that was a pleasant sidenote to the fresh faces (and bottoms) I mixed and mingled (and beat) .... I was amazed at some of the attention I managed to snag. I promise, I'm NOT all that!!
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Well, shit fire and burn it all down. Busted my hump today.. 13 hours worth of pushing, pulling and sweating. in at 7, off at 8.30 PM .... I'm pinche' cansado...
I think I managed to piss somebody off. I'm sorry she feels that way, but I just can't give her what she needs. I hope she can at least be civil, should we cross paths in public, though.
It seems I'm pissing off females left and right lately. I'm sure I'll survive, provided none of them are armed, with raging PMS or Psychotic episodes. Still, I gotta wonder whether I'm just being an ass lately, and haven't really been aware of it. I try to be nice...really....stop laughing, I DO!!... but it seems to backfire. Oh well...it'll all look better after some rest and a shower. |
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The past 3 weeks have been interesting. I'm newly single, and looking at going back home so that I can help my folks out. I'm not looking for anybody to keep whatsoever.
You ever said to yourself, I love them but this just isn't going anywhere? Apparently she was feeling it too. Thic change is for the best. I believe it, and I embrace it.
Until next episode, you keep reading.. I'll keep working and going to school. Until then, be well, folks!!! |
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I don't know what to put here right now, other than... I'm not a happy camper.. |
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Well folks.. celli had gallbladder surgery this morning. She came out of it all okay, and tonight she's resting in our bed. We'll see how the next week comes out, but it looks like pretty smooth sailing ahead. I saw the lapro pictures, and her gallbladder was chock full of stones... It looked like the inside of a papaya with all of its seeds. I wonder if any of them were big enough to make a ring? |
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Call me crazy. Call me stupid. Call me whatever you like. I've decided to collar celli on a 6 month renewable contract. SHe's been just about the only constant in my life for a coupla years now. She's stood by me through blessings and curses, even drama.
It's a fairly simple contract, with clauses for different things. Nothing extraordinary like tributes or hanging her by her toenails for spilling wine. We're interested in a girlie to play with on occasion, but for now it's just us.
More to follow as things progress.
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Well... Apparently I pissed off some folks with my last post. Allow me to elaborate upon my satire.
Everywhere I look on this site, I see everybody yelling about PLAYERS. One FemDom even goes as far as to name people the feels aren't living up to her expectations (which in my opinion are pretty far fetched) as players and wanna-be's in her journal. Names and ALL !! I would swear I read something with EVERY JOURNAL ENTRY about how we're not s'posed to criticize others in our journals, no?
And here recently, I've heard about folks putting up a website listing players, Dom/mes and sub/slaves, here in TX. What kind of crap is that!?!?! My question here is, by what right to they claim this authority, and by what standards are they judging these folks? Furthermore who keeps their witchhunt in check?
Maybe I'm, overreacting. Perhaps that was just on the BRINK of un-called-for..
But that's MY take on the issue.. |
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Okay, fine...I'm a PLAYER...
Diablo II: Lord of Destruction is my latest addiction.. But I got the kids hooked on Quake, HALO, and Serious Sam, so I play those too.. Video games are quite a nice diversion to blow off some steam after a hard day. Now the girl I mess around with is playing too...
Geeze, I'm bad, huh?? |
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I've been busy as hell, trying to make a living. Funny how that happens..
My roomie finally went off the deep end, and apparently cannot handle the idea of me having ANY female friends that visit. Fuckit I moved out. She told me to choose between her or my friend. This wasn't the first time but I decided it WOULD be the last. Let's see how well she does getting the other folks that live there to pay rent on time. S'not my problem anymore.
So now I'm living up in the boonies once more, until Spring I believe. It'll all work out, I'm sure.
Meanwhile, school's kicking me in the pants once again but I'll make it through. Single, and liking it. |
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Well. I had to let one go tonight.
It hurts me to do so, but it needed to be done.
I hurt. But I will endure.... |
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Oh my goodness, oh my goodness!!!!
I got flamed by a CM Domi-nuthugger!!!
This is such a red letter day for me. Not only did I piss him off once, but twice, and I even got him to block me so his little bitch ass wouldn't have to read my retaliating letter.
YAY TEAM!!!!
Now for the REAL news.
Been working my ass off. School is almost out, though so this is cool. Just a few more weeks.
other than that I am good, and my girls are good. And Bitter little needle-dick angermonsters are completely miserable and I am enjoying the hell out of it!! |
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Ooooohhhh shitfire... I've been dead-assed tired all week, and it's only wednesday. I napped out when I got home from work and was up again at 9:30. It's going to be an interesting night.
From the looks of it, though I'm not supposed to know, I'm going to be taken out for Daddy Day. It's kinda hard not to know when one of your girls asks what your favourite restaurant and cuisine are..
It's still going to be an excellent evening... I just hope I can guide these two girls through the menu without burning their guts out....it's Indian food after all.. |
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It's a strange thing...
I may end up with egg on my face yet, but I decided to give the girl that lied to somebody and kept me in the dark a second chance. After long thought whilst I was pulling wire and making joints. (I do alot of thinking whilst my body is working)
I considered the idea that she could be genuinely sorry for what she had done, and willing to make amends. I further considered whether I could safely trust her and if it was worth the risk. (yes, there is indeed risk involved in trusting folks, even your mother.)
Finally, I decided to test her. I told her to apologize to the Other man, and to my former. I told her that I wanted her to meditate on what she did and why, and to write it out for me in an essay of 500 words. Fiurther more, she got the strap. The strap is by no means pleasant, but it helped send home the fact that she had done wrong, and before she would be accepted, she had to make it right and explain herself.
She cried and she sweated it out.... she wrote and she wrote and she wrote. I found my answers, not in emails or in phone conversations, but in what she said to my former. I that was a good indicator to at least let the girl in a little bit. She showed up with her essay and I was impressed. So I decided to let her in.
That's not the strange part... it gets stranger.
I thought more. I may have been somewhat inebriated, since my blood was pumping, my arms were hurting, the endorphins were flowing and the adrenaline was rushing from my labors, I envisioned myself having to make a choice in the future.
I know that one wants to be mine. She proved it, by putting herself through the fires of my redemption. I also know that my former doesn't want to be my former anymore. after the hurt was all gone away, and we were no longer angry at one another, we find that we do still care deeply for one another and may possibly decide to get back together.
I took the best route I could since they were both willing to share. I'm considering both of them. Perhaps this is a display of anal-retentivity, or even Male Chauvanism but I enjoy it, and they enjoy it.
We'll see how it progresses. While I know this is many a man's dream, it's not going to be a cakewalk. Eventually I may end up having to lock them up in a room with pillows to sort their own shit out, whilst I sell webcam seats for "Catfight" . I'm not a bad Daddy, am I?...LOL
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I'm pretty pinche enrajado right now. I'd taken a lil break, because I'd met a lil chica that'd caught my nose. We hit it off pretty nicely, and eventually I'd introduced her to my former. The three of us all played real nicely together. I was halfway thinking that something good could happen here, right?
FUCK NO!!!!
She'd mentioned somebody from this site this morning, and so when my former got online, she ran across him, because it'd happened to be somebody she knew as well,and the report the girl had given just didn't match. Turns out, the girl had been 'under consideration' by this guy for a while. Even had a second profile. Let's just say the chingale had been flying around for about a month or so and he didn't know about it. I feel bad for him, and U/us as well.
So yes, I'm pissed.. I'm also full of hurt and doubt.
I'm not gonna mention any names, for various reasons, but I will say this. Watch your backdoor folks... |
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Mother's day.... Congrats for all you Mommy-types out there. I wish mine would just leave me alone, personally.. oh well.
I did my duty, no less. I swear one day I'm just going to write "Thanks for not having an abortion" on a card. Grandma would have a heart attack, but I can't help how I feel yanno.
OKay, so I'm a lowlife.... Next!! |
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It's a strange thing, what happens at times..
The conflicted girl that I visited with? She's talking about quitting the Scene now. Possibly even taking up a cross, as opposed to being chained to one. I know I'm not involved in this decision, but it still leaves me wondering what the hell I did wrong, yanno? What did I do to this girl that would send her off in the completely polar opposite direction of myself?
The only thing I tried to do was have a good evening with her. movies, snacks...comfort. Not sex, nor play. I had niether expectations nor intentions, other than her comfort. I wanted to be kind to her and enjoy some time with her, and I feel like I may have chased her away. Reason says NOPE. But there's this niggling feeling way back in my braincase that says
"you dunnit... you turned her off so bad she's gone religious on you"
That's it... no more chocolate covered strawberries...for anybody...
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this sucks.... got an extra ticket to ob Zombie tonight...and nobody to offer it to..
Any Takers? |
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Oooooookiedoke..... I've been away for a few, so I haven't been able to update.. Not a whole lot to talk about, just work, work, and school... Work is life, life is work... the rest is classtime..
I've talked to a few folks here and there. No serious connections, but a number of interesting folks to be sure. It's amazing how many beautiful women are logged into this site. You all know who you are.
I'm thinking about vanilla dating, again, and not looking for a girl to whup any time soon. Just to give myself a rest yanno?? |
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Pretty boring weekend, actually... Spent the day cleaning up and getting ready for a friend to visit. it was a nice visit, and then she went home. poor girl is so conflicted, and I wish I could be more of a help to her. I think she possibly thinks I'm only looking for carnal pleasures.. I'm not.. While I would welcome playtime with her, it's not worth the damage it may do to her Self..
Rule #1 Harm None.
Rule #2 Do thy will.
Rule #3 If there is a conflict, between #1 and #2, see rule #1
I try to be a decent guy. Karma's a bastard, yanno. But I treated her with kindness, and even spoiled her a little. I enjoyed it, as did she. I hope we can do it again soon, without the internal turmoil.
Oh well, back to regular life tomorrow. |
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Well, today wasn't half bad, really... I ran pipe, chitchatted with my co-worker. He's an alright guy, though we differ vastly in religious philosophies. Basicly, he's hyper-christian, and I'm just not religiously inclined at all. He's cool though.
He thinks I'm good instructor potential, at the school he teaches and that I attend. Mainly because I'm bilingual, but also because I'm semi-witty, and I don't mind speaking infront of strangers, as I have proven on occasion at safety meetings...
If he only knew all the facets of me... I think he'd shit his britches if he knew about the leather and the whips....about the ropes and the sex and the beatings I have dished out and that I have myself endured.. I'm sure he'd rebuke me in several holy names and curse me for all sorts of demonspawn...**chuckles** How lovely.
Of course I'm sure he'd be taken aback to find out that when I'm in front of all those people, they're all wearing black socks, clown shoes and flourescent pink thongs... Gotta use a few Jedi Mind Tricks to keep myself from clamming up in front of all...those...strangers... Like the ones reading my blog....hmm...
>ZAP!<
I hope each of you enjoys your clown shoes and thong...
So anyways. I visited with a buddy of mine this weekend. Another Lifestyler. We tooled around, looking for open stores.. Not many of those.. Went to see that new Antonio Banderas movie, "Taking the Lead" I'm not gay, I swear it...But that was a pretty good movie!! It's based on a true story, about a dance teacher using classical cance to help reform some mean assed highschool kids in NYC... I'm half tempted to take some lessons in dance now... that tango is some sexy stuff...not to mention the Salsa.... Perrea mami perrea!!!! |
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Okiedoke.... Time to go back to work tomorrow... I'm not sure I wanna go...
A friend of mine visited this wknd from out of town... it was good seeing him. He wants to move back to Houston and wants to discuss a roomie/housemate situation... Doesn't sound half bad...
We went to see "Taking the Lead" with Antonio Banderas.. It's a good movie, with a few holes in the story line, but I still liked it.. It's definitely worth the matinee price at least..
I'm out for now. Class tomorrow... Gotta love it.. |
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Here we are... Another weekend. It's amazing how much joy can come out of a little girl when she is presented with a box of hand-made chocolate covered strawberries.. See, some of the best birthday presents can be made, and only require nominal funds, and a little bit of knowledge... Daddy dun good this year. |
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Ever decide what you want in life, and get way frustrated because you know how slow the wheels turn, and your chance is years in the making?
It's annoying as hell, knowing what I want and having a pretty clear idea of where I want to be, and then BAM!! It's gonna take 2-4 years for me to make it fly... BASTARDS!!! |
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Okiedoke... I've been gone for a coupla days... Monday night was school. Nothing exciting to report there save for NO HOMEWORK!!! Goodness it's amazing what little things in life will excite and delight us, isn't it?
I got over all of my drinking stuff. Decided that's not gonna happen for a while.. And of course, the Bossman and his Leadman were giving me grief. BASTARDS!! May the fleas of a thousand camels invade their crotches.. Oh well, they're still my boys..
Today was about a bunch of troubleshooting with electrical pipes and airducts. Yesterday too, come to think of it. No biggie. It's what I do. Makes for a better electrician tomorrow.
Been thinking about where I wanna go with this company. Answer. I'm going to run jobs one day. This is what I have decided. I'm sure it sounds pretentious, but it's what I have decided I want to do. This is going to require some work on my part, no doubt. In Tomorrow's tomorrows it will all pay off, I believe. I hope I'm up to it.
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okay.... Drinking is bad... Goooooood googly goo.... I got sooooo wasted last night... and on an empty stomach... I ended up in the jonny puking my guts up like a little bitch. No pinche' bueno por caca...
oh well....laid up in the bed all day. good thing I had nothing to get done.. monday's gonna be a bastard, when the bossman tells everybody I'm a lightweight.. Those 16oz beers that Bud puts in the aluminum bottles are pretty tasty though.... they sure do creep up on you though. |
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Well shit fire... There's a journal in this thing... should prove interesting, indeed.
I guess I can use this space to post my thoughts and feelings for the world to read... Get ready, it's pretty chaotic in here...
Had an interview today. Although I work full time, I decided tot ake a second job to help with a few extra things. After the interview, I'm honestly not that interested. Call me silly but I think I'll be turning them down if they decide to make me an offer, come monday.
Some places you like to visit and think it might be cool to work there. then you get a feel for the place and you find out it's not as much fun for the workers as it is for the customers..
Starbucks might be one of those places for me....
However, I have been invited out with my boss for a few beers. Let's see how well I can behave myself, eh? That's it for now. |
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| Age: 51 |
| Luton Beds,
United Kingdom |
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