- The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Hetero Male Dominant, 59,  Philly Burbs, Pennsylvania
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Last Online:


 Dominant Male

 Philly Burbs 


 5' 8"

 215 lbs






Actively Seeking:

Submissive Female

 Lives For:

 Bondage (Expert)

 Local BDSM Community


 Writing (Expert)


 Travel (Expert)


 Breast Binding/Play

 Fire Play (Beginner)

 Massage (Getting) (Beginner)

 Massage (Giving) (Beginner)


 Sensory Deprivation (Beginner)

 Spanking (Expert)

 Card Games (Beginner)

 Historical Shows (Expert)

 Science Fiction (Expert)

 Simulation Games


 History (Expert)

 Rock Music


 Amusement Parks

 Art Galleries (Beginner)

 Beachcombing (Beginner)

 Coffee Shops  (Beginner)

 Fine Dining (Beginner)

 Flea Markets (Beginner)

 Garage Sales (Beginner)



 Volunteerism (Beginner)


 Dancing (Beginner)


 Anal Play

 Canes and Crops (Expert)

 Collars (Beginner)

 Corner Time

 Exhibitionism (Beginner)

 Gags (Beginner)

 Hair Pulling


 Mental Bondage (Beginner)

 Outdoor Bondage (Beginner)

 Public Play  (Beginner)

 Role Playing (Beginner)

 Suspension (Beginner)

 Tickling (Beginner)

 Vibrators (Beginner)

 Whips (Beginner)

 Board Games


 Comedy Shows

 Online Chatrooms

 Puzzle Games (Beginner)

 Role Playing Games

 True Crime

 Web Surfing (Expert)

 Body Art

 Drawing (Beginner)




 Conservative Politics (Expert)


 Intellectual Discourse

 Libertarian Politics  (Beginner)


 Poetry (Beginner)

 Blue Grass


 Classical Music

 Eighties Music

 Nineties Music

 Pop Music

 Seventies Music



 Bowling (Beginner)

 Swimming (Beginner)


 Antique Shows (Beginner)

 Bar Hopping (Beginner)

 Musical Theater


 Aerobics (Beginner)





 Masks (On Partner) (Beginner)

 Horror Movies


 Online RPGs

 Romance Novels


 TV Sports


 Biology (Beginner)


 Chemistry (Beginner)

 Liberal Politics

 Mathematics (Beginner)

 Nutrition (Beginner)

 Physics (Beginner)


 Diet and Exercise

 Lifestyle BDSM

 Low Carb

 Old Guard


 Victorian Household

 Country Music

 EMO Music

 Folk Music


 Heavy Metal Music


 New Age Music



 Punk Rock Music



 Show Tunes












 Curious About:

 Bird Watching (Beginner)

 Renaissance Faires (Beginner)

 SCA (Beginner)

 Horseback Riding


 Tai-Chi (Beginner)


 Fisting (Beginner)

 Knife Play

 Plastic Wrap

 Speech Restrictions


 Theatrical Scenes

 Wax play











 Body Worship







 Eye Contact Restrictions

 Foot Worship


 Medical Play

 Obedience Training

 Pantyhose Fetish

 Pony/Puppy Roleplay


 Rubber Fetish




 TV News




 Political Activism


 Female Supremacy

 Gorean Lifestyle

 Goth Lifestyle



 Electronica / EDM

 Hip Hop Music

 Industrial Music

 New Wave



 Feng Shui





 Objectification (Beginner)

 Hard Limits:

 Needle Play

 Serving as a Maid/Butler

Okay, you can pretty much ignore anything below the line if you wish.  It's all nice and pretty and you might find it interesting if what you seek is a LTR.  (and I'm reluctant to just toss it out) But, for now I feel a strong urge to get to the heart of the matter and say what I really want as soon as possible.  

I am seeking a rope bottom for regular rope practice.  I have a lot of experience with rope but I feel like I'm falling behind the curve.

Age, experience or size are not important.  My only real requirement is a reasonable amount of flexibility and endurance.  I can work with some physical limitations--practically everyone has something.  If you are wondering about that, ask.

I will respect whatever boundaries you want to set.


Serious inquiries only please.

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Devo toccare una donna a vivere.

It is very difficult not to become cynical about all this.  But here we both are.

This is where I'm supposed to convince you that I am different from all the poseurs and predators on this site.  Truly, there is no way to do that with mere words.  Anyone can string words together in any order. All that clever words can prove is that I am clever with words.

I'm looking for a real life day to day D/s relationship with a fully realized human being who happens to be a woman.

Exactly what kind of relationship is undefined because it will depend in large part on her needs--except that there will be rope, and spanking, and power exchange, and all sorts of other wicked, kinky fun.  I was a Daddy for a while--still am as we keep in touch--and it seemed to suit me.  But I have been feeling more... I don't know.  Harder? Harsher? More sadistic of late.

I'm not looking for an online relationship.

I am strongly attracted to overtly sexual women, those who feel the need to transgress societal boundaries, exhibitionists and those who may or may not self-identify as a "slut" but feel urges in that direction.


But, if you don't have your partner's consent, if finding out what you are doing will harm your relationship, then I can't be a party to that.  On the other hand, if this will somehow enhance and stabilize your life with and your love for them, I too will be gratified and empowered. 

I accept that people aren't perfect but I am not so desperate that I would get involved with someone who I don't actually like just to have someone.

Some things about me:

I retired from a successful career because I wanted to be free to live my life as I wish.  I live simply but well.  I am quite active in the local community and have many friends.  I am constantly learning new things and experimenting with new techniques.  If that doesn't scare you, it should.

I write dirty stories.  Very dirty stories.  I do it for money.  I do it because I love it.

I make toys.  Very good ones.  People give me money for them.  And because I love it.

I tie people up--usually women, but not always--because I love it. 

I spank and flog and cane because (you guessed it) I love it.  

I have other, vanilla, interests as well.  I also have many friends in and out of the lifestyle.  I sometimes love to cook.


The photo of me is probably the most honest that I can post.  It looks so vanilla but what you are seeing is me about to tie someone up and suspend them from the gingerbread of a gazebo in a public park somewhere in New Jersey. 

I run a group on a meetup sight to help lost kinksters find their way into the community.  Look for "Philly Area Kinky Outreach."  I am on the network with the black background(starts with "Fet" and ends with "Life")under the same user name.  There are lots of pictures there...


Don't be fooled.  I am an old school gentleman and a gentle, soft spoken man who will gladly drag you across the room by your hair with a twinkle in his eye.



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Journal Entries:
8/19/2016 2:25:32 PM
So, crazy old fool that I am, I decided to do something to help people who feel like they are out in the cold with their kink.  People who's only experience of "community," if any, are meat market sites. 

So, I took over a Meetup(dot)com group called "Philly Area Kinky Outreach," with the intent of helping "lost" kinksters find their way into the community.  I'm going to be setting up small meetings between active community members and those who desperately want to talk to someone about their kink. 

The ideal venue will be a diner or coffee shop and the ideal group size will be six or less.  I already have quite a few volunteers of every sort lined up to help.

If this interests you, it's relatively easy to search for the website and the group.  Or you can find my Facebook author page (Ted Ursi) and click on the link there.  Or just message me.

2/3/2016 1:34:57 AM
To add some perspective to all this I did an all ages search of first men then women sorted by date signed on. The average age of the latest 25 new profiles for men in my area was 41.52 years and the oldest of those 25 profiles was 6 days old. For women the average age of the latest 25 new profiles was 34.2 years and the oldest of those 25 profiles was eleven days old. So men are signing on almost twice as fast as women and are on average 7 years or better older. This makes no judgement of the authenticity of the profiles themselves. I'm aware that 25 is not a very rigorous number for statistical analysis but it was convenient to the way Colloarspace's search list is laid out.

8/13/2015 6:22:36 AM
So I walk into a munch the other night and there is my former baby girl standing there.  I stop dead.  My fingers make that tiny come hither thing and we hug.  I put my ball cap on her head--because she will steal it at the first opportunity anyways--and we fall into our dynamic like lovers into a bed.  She's playing with my phone, fucking up one of my sudoku puzzles, stealing cherry tomatoes from my salad.  I feed her olives and she tries to bite my fingers.  I am too indulgent, I only swat her backside when she has to leave and won't give back my hat.  Soon she will be off again to her new home far away.  Life is too bitter sweet sometimes.

7/8/2015 10:06:43 AM
I really really want to tie a tikate kote to someone to this music:

4/24/2015 8:42:22 AM
The world is full of wonderful people I'm sure I would enjoy knowing.  But that knowing can be a barrier to to reaching those places our desires want to go.  I sometimes think the two drunks who leave together at closing time are wiser than we know.  In the morning they will know they can fuck like animals before they know the good and bad of each other.  What if we mindful folk get to know each other so well that we can't put it aside to fuck like beasts?   

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