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I am 53 with an off kilter way of looking at the world, a twisted sense of humor and am way beyond liberal. I'm deceptively normal looking, soft-spoken and patient.
After my divorce and a long period of healing, I'm finding my interests changing. I used to be very considerate and loving, but what appeals to me now is using a slave like a piece of meat, beating her, humiliating and degrading her.
I'm putting my life back together. I think when I do start looking for a new slave, it'll be one I can control completely, break her will and mold her to my liking.
If you do drop me a note, rather than saying you "read my profile and liked it" something that any scam artist can be cut and paste into a note, use the word "transhumanist" in there somewhere so I'll know you really did read this profile. Thanks
Also, I'm not going to get a yahoo id and if you're in another country, I'm going to be even more weary.
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I've come to a realization. There are slaves out there who have no clue what will make them happy and need to be told.
When I was married I tried so hard to make my sub happy, to make sure her needs were met. The harder I tried, the more unreasonable she became. Finally she decided she would be happier elsewhere.
We're still friends. We still care about each other and talk on a semi-regular basis and what I hear most from her is how unhappy she is in her current situation.
When (if) I do ever have a relationship again I won't make the same mistake. I will look for a slave who's needs are to make me happy. I will make sure she gets the attention she needs and that she is kept in good shape, but the emphasis will be on what I want and molding her into what I need her to be.
No more "Mr Nice Dom".
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I find my interests changing. Before my divorce I was more of a romantic Dom. A sadist, definatly, but always treated her like a treasured possession.
I think now that was a mistake. One I am less and less interested in repeating. My thoughts are becoming darker, more extreme. The slaves that catch my attention are the ones who want to be controlled, broken and used.
I also find myself looking at profiles of slaves wanting a sadistic Daddy.
This is new for me. I have some ambiguous feelings about it, but more and more I feel like this is what I want now. I'm still putting my life together, but as I do, I think it may be going in a new direction.
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Well, I made it through the winter, then moved twice, finally winding up in Hayward. For the first time in a while I feel like things are getting better. I'm now in a shared household with a couple and we're looking for a 4th roommate to move in. Its a huge place in a nice neighborhood. I have a room that's actually big enough for me and my stuff. I've taken a vacation to visit family, taken classes, slowly getting my life back together.
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Winter Solstice approaches
For me, winter is an endurance march. Seasonally affected disorder drags my energy level down as the days get shorter. Two more days and I will have made it through the worst of it. After that, the light returns.
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 I've been lurking in the shadows for a while now. Every so often I would sit down to write a profile and just stare at the screen. I've been in a relationship for nearly 30 years and that relationship is coming to an end. We've been involved with BDSM, off and on, almost from the begining. She has someone else now and I need to make a new life for myself. Part of that is being with people. I'm looking for friends. Maybe play partners, but that's about it right now. |
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| Age: 31 |
| Watsonia,
Australia |
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