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StrictDomffs

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We are a polyamorous, long-term committed, and experiencedMs couple living in rural Vermont. Our relationship is transparent and we prefer to pursue partners interested in both of us however we also recognize that may be unrealistic. Life is so much more interesting when you do not try to predict where every interaction may lead, so we both remain open to many possiblities.The reality of our mountain home is beautiful and remote. Motivated people can find a way to bridge distances. The internet is one of those ways, and since the nearest semi-regular well-attended munch is once per month about 90 minutes one-way, the search continues here. We met online, its a great tool, just please be honest. If you have no intent to take anything real time, even to meet for lunch, just say so. If you dont understand polyamory or want to know more about our dynamic, just ask.Elsewhere, (and you can probably guess where)He is known as GreenMtnMaster and she as Kismet.

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6/20/2011 5:52:34 PM

Non-Kinky Fetishes....A walk on the less-than-wild side

 

Not all fetishes are sexy, or even involve sex! Maybe because I am kinky, I see any observable obsession or excess as a fetish. A coworker who stockpiles post-it notes of every color may have an office supply fetish. The refusal to drink 'over-the-counter' coffee in favor of gourmet blends may represent the same level of pleasure a foot fetishist gets from a pedicure. I suspect Master has a Home Depot fetish.....we're there twice a week!

 

There's something satisfying and soothing about indulging a 'fetish', kinky or not.

 

K.


12/28/2010 5:21:15 PM

2011 is almost here! So what's YOUR resolution? Losing weight, getting fit, saving money...blah, blah, blah, so cliche. Surprise me......


9/30/2010 4:32:25 PM
Labels suck! Sure, it's easy for the male half of this equation, he's solidly heterosexual and completely 100% dominant.
 
Me? Why not queer? Collarme forces me to pick bisexual to describe myself and I split the difference with the label of switch, but that's hardly completely accurate.

I am not recreationally bisexual, I crave profound and meaningful interactions with another woman. Whether that organically takes the form of friendship that develops into more with a sister slave found by Master, or another Fem/Queer/Switch, or a cute butch boi....I am open to the possibilities.

I have a full-time career, I am working on a graduate degree, I have 2 dogs that are like kids, chores around the cabin, and a Master to serve.....but there is always room for the right one.


K.

6/14/2010 3:59:51 PM
Negative, cautionary journal postings are cliche and boring here on collarme. Profile after profile entreats 'only real people', 'must be financially stable' and 'no time-wasters'. That should go without saying.....

If you are simply here for online domination in the form of masturbatory chats with no intention of ever speaking to us by phone or meeting us, atleast be honest about it. Who knows, we may make an exception if we are in the mood.

Otherwise, know that after a reasonable number of emails, a phone conversation is expected to confirm we are not wasting each others time. In this era of disposable cell phones and caller-id, there is absolutely no excuse or reason adults can't have a friendly conversation without fear.

Fair?

12/18/2009 12:16:13 PM
So, here we are once more.

Last february, we met a beautiful and kind submissive lady here on collarme. Very quickly and naturally, we two became three.

Though the nature of the relationship recently changed, those 9 months taught me (us) alot and she remains in my heart.

K.

2/24/2009 11:34:21 AM

Leather Household Manual for the 21st Century

By: Kismet

Master D. and I have been together for 5 years , but We have never had a contract between Us or put pen to paper to formulate a manual or guiding document for Our household. Between two people whose lives are so intimately intertwined, two who have learned each other the hard way, it was simply a task it seemed other people did and we did not need.

Then, the evolution slowly began towards where We find Ourselves now. Publically a Dominant Couple, earnestly seeking the right slave to serve Us and join Our lives, all the ideas, experiences and parameters We discussed for so long now being organized and refined in anticipation. I have reviewed how others I respect have organized their manuals and the types of items covered. One thing My partner and I agree on is the need for clarity of expectations and transparent communication to ensure success for Our family.

While working on a project for one of My classes, the idea to put Our developing household manual into the form of a series of PowerPoint presentations sprang forth. Easy to add to in the future and assign portions to study as a training tool, this living document has taken shape. Graphics make the presentation interesting and putting one rule, idea or thought on each slide emphasizes the points. All the presentations will have similar color schemes (shades of green….Vermont!). Thus far, We have completed a presentation demonstrating the positions and commands We use, and a lengthy core presentation on Our basic rules and household guiding principles. I anticipate two more atleast. The next We tackle will focus purely on service aspects, Our preferences and expectations.

I am even more motivated in the midst of an intense course at school and exhausting shifts at the hospital to complete these projects in a more timely fashion because We have met someone special. Perhaps that needle in a haystack of online profiles. A submissive woman who seems to have all the qualities We seek, and We are taking the time to get to know her together. We are hopeful, but nothing worth having comes quick and easy, and the type of relationship We wish to forge is not one that can be rushed.

As many other households have so generously done previously, We will make Our manual available at some point when it is complete. Perhaps the format will appeal to other Owners as well. A good friend of mine pointed out that in leather, sharing information and experiences, not hoarding it, is important. Sometimes we are teachers, sometimes we are students in life. I hope I never stop learning on this journey.

Yours in leather,

K.


2/16/2009 10:00:13 AM

Pervertables : Wanderings of a Deviant Mind

By: Mistress K.

Pervertables. Everyday objects that inspire images of delicious torment. Though Master D. introduced me to the delights of bondage gear, exotic gags and well made whips and canes and We have a chest full of the really fetishy stuff, a trip to a well stocked dollar store or home depot can yield many treasures beyond that pack of 100 clothespins for $1. Not that I am dismissing the joy of clothespins and they can be made more visually appealing by a good long soak in a bucket of Rit dye in your favorite color.

The first educational class I ever attended was a BESS (Baltimore Education & Social Society) meeting featuring this topic. It was a fun and lighthearted introduction to the public scene and on occasion I will see an object and remember that meeting 4 years ago like it happened last week. I have experimented with making my own toys from time to time. I ordered a lot of horsehair from eBay after seeing a horsehair flogger at a fetish flea market, imagining I could easily craft my own and instead ended up with a righteous mess and a ‘flogger’ that could not stand up to a mere swat through the air. 

Other items turned out well. A long heavy wooden dowel painted deep pink with strategically affixed eyes and black rubber end pieces became a spreader bar for under $10 and a prized win for a lucky guy that won it after I donated it to a bag auction. The electrical department at Home (Dom/me) Depot also offers many sadistic inspirations with metal alligator clips and all manner of terrifying potential in the heavy electrical cords that can have their ends removed and the cord fashioned into a menacing ‘rug beater’ style flogger. For aesthetically pleasing duct tape, skip the hardware store and head to Michaels. Duck tape can be had in nearly any color of the rainbow. Another craft store idea lies in the artificial flower department. Black silk roses can function as a sensual tease on the bloom end, or be turned into a whippy switch for close-in action. Browse the silk flower aisle at your own peril though, for the ideas inspired may put a giddy far away grin on your face, attracting the attention of other shoppers.

Have a medical fetish? Though medicaltoys.com is one of my favorite sites, many of the items you may need to play doctor/nurse/patient are available at WalMart or CVS. A potty chair minus the pot below would make an excellent resting place for a Mistress/Nurse to receive pleasure from the bound slave/patient underneath. Enema kits, latex gloves, ace bandages, icy hot….I get a naughty thought every time I am in a line at the pharmacy counter and look over to see the medical devices. A medical supply store may be worth the stop, though more expensive, for all manner of pervertable instruments and supplies beyond the stock of the chain retail pharmacies.  

Well documented are the offerings of Petco and Petsmart. Dog cages, large doggie pillows for the floor, leashes, collars, choke chains and bowls for the good pet/slave to have dinner at Master’s feet. Less well known are the uses for rubber kongs and other dog toys which can be assembled into functional gags for that pet who won’t be quiet. In rural areas, Tractor Supply and other feed or general types stores offer equestrian items like crops and bats, the good substantial type. Vet wrap is less expensive too at stores that cater to livestock owners, a most excellent bondage tool for those enjoying mummification. 

Master D. can make use of anything around him to torment a slave on the go, a plastic tube hanger can simulate a cane in his capable hands. The average hotel room is already equipped with an evening’s fun for the sadist whose toybag is held up in customs. We love the professionally made fetish gear in Our house, but in these leaner economic times, creative alternatives, a sense of adventure and some imagination can fill the gap when that new toy is out of reach.

 

Yours in leather, and good naughty fun, 

K.


2/14/2009 6:41:50 AM

The Journey within….lessons along the way (part 1)

By Mistress Kismet

“I would not trade the journey for the destination. Every time I think I reach a destination, a new adventure unfolds”

In one way or another, I express this sentiment in my profiles and previous writings. I am sincere in my belief through experience that amazing events and experiences can occur in anyone’s life once they abandon the notion of a fixed outcome or ending point. This has proven true in my journey in my relationships and in leather.

I have had times in my life, and in my relationship with Master D., where I have built walls around myself and had them knocked down forcefully or deconstructed brick by brick by a man who loves Me without limit. I have come out of my comfort zones only to develop new comfort zones. It would seem five years in, We would have learned everything there is to know about one another, but I am proud and excited to say that my life and love never becomes dull or routine. I love D. with abandon, He is my life and purpose, no one will ever come before him. He gave me a great and novel gift, that of unconditional love and acceptance of my authentic self, one I endeavor daily to repay.

Valentine’s Day 2009 has pushed aside other topics for this one, as I reflect on a beautiful phone conversation we had the other day. Each of us marveling in our embrace of including another in our lives, our transparency to one another and how strong the bond between us is since we opened up our relationship, taking a departure from the monogamous ideals our lips spoke but our hearts and minds had other thoughts about. Fear of the unknown (and habits born of past lives) gave way to the notion (not original to me, since I have a friend who feels this way) that there is more than enough love for another and how enriched our lives will be once we find that special girl to join our leather family.

Each time we interact with a girl who writes Us with interest or whose profile we found intriguing, we learn something new about ourselves as well. Nothing has worked out to the consideration stage, but after each failed interaction we debrief, we reconfirm and refocus. It never occurs to D. or I to deceive or be anything but completely honest when communicating to potential slaves about who we are, what we are looking for and what we expect. And although it can be disheartening to encounter those who will say anything to get our attention, are seeking merely to get a quick cyber turn-on or don’t take the time to read our profile and take seriously what it contains because they don’t possess the ability to understand that we are real and this is not a roleplay for us, that feeling passes as we remain committed to finding the right person to add to Our beautiful life.

We laugh a lot, We enjoy life as it comes and We overflow with love, enough to spare.

 

Yours in leather,

Kismet

 


2/8/2009 10:32:27 AM

Fetishes in M/s relationships…Some thoughts

By Mistress K. (with influences of Master D.)

We write a lot about service (the non sexual sort) and the mental aspects of leather relationships in Our profiles and journal entries, perhaps giving the impression that satisfaction of Our fetishes and kinks is not of importance to Us. The reality is, separately and together, it is those fetishes and kinks that started Us (long ago it seems) down the road of living the M/s lifestyle. With those needs met, We evolved into the relationship and mental aspects of the leather lifestyle, but the kinks and fetishes come back into focus as We search for that submissive/slave to compliment Us.

A submissive/slave comes to a potential new Owner with needs, kinks and fetishes that burn within to be quenched. Sometimes curiosities and fears as well born of limited or no real time experience. Preconceived notions of mastery and slavery gleaned from online chats, porn and graphic novels. Other subs/slaves have extensive experience and have very specific needs in regards to satisfying their kinks/fetishes, some less willing to be molded into the preferences of a new Owner.

As much as We write of mastery and service, satisfaction of Our shared and individual kinks/fetishes is important when considering someone to join Us. Those on the Top side of M/s relationships have the same need expressed by the bottom side, to be accepted for their authentic selves. It can be disheartening to communicate honestly with a potential and sense rejection or revulsion at one of Our fetishes or kinks or be questioned in a manner that shows judgment in a lifestyle that is supposed to encourage acceptance.

So, in the interest of transparency and for the record, despite taking what seemed hours to fill out endless checklists on these types activities…….

Our list of fetishes we indulge in includes but is not limited to:

Fetishwear (pvc, latex, leather, stockings, high heels, boots, gloves)

Maybe I don’t dress up in full gear every day, but it’s not a ‘costume’ as one potential now gone poof put it, I am completely at ease dressed to impress or dominate. I enjoy the feeling of stockings against my skin and Master D. loves the look. 5 and 6 inch heels? I can walk in them with ease and am proud of it. I would expect any slave I own to aspire to the same and be open to dressing to please Us.

Bondage: leather cuffs, collar, leash, hoods and gags

Rope bondage is not Our interest (though the Mistress is considering learning for the aesthetic quality shibari offers) We enjoy the look of leather cuffs, hoods and gags as well as the immobilizing effect.

Canes, Crops, Paddles, Floggers, Straps

We are sadistic, We enjoy collecting implements particularly stingy ones. No apologies.

Orgasm Control, Kneeling, Rituals, Rules and Protocols etc.

A big category including lots of activities, but control is integral to Our satisfaction. Again, no apologies. We are strict.

Edge Play (breath, electrical, medical)

These activities are somewhat negotiable, and we are open to new activities with the right slave.

Fetish and Kink sometimes gets lost in the higher talk of service, mastery and relationships. It has it’s place and is intertwined for Us. To deny We need these aspects would be disingenuous. We are open to trying new things, there is a wide open buffet of sensations and choices. Perhaps We just need the right sub/slave to inspire Us.

 

Yours in Leather,

K.

 

 

 


2/5/2009 6:06:13 AM

Orientation : Labels (part 1)

By: Mistress Kismet

Depending on the networking site, an individual has either many choices or rather limited options when identifying their sexual orientation. For many, it’s a rather simple choice. They are firmly gay, heterosexual or bisexual, the most common choices. Other choices have come into vogue, such as heteroflexible, transsexual, pansexual and genderqueer. Labels, as My profile proclaims, are freeing and limiting all at the same time.
 
As humans, it comforts us to label something, it helps us understand others in relation to ourselves. The negative side of labels is that it limits the expression of individuals to predefined roles, making them hesitant to experience growth or admit that they don’t fit in for fear of not belonging.

My orientation has undergone something of an evolution during My five years in the organized M/s and bdsm community. In the dark parts of My internal fantasy realm, the place where we try on possibilities before having the courage to seek them in reality, my paradigm has been changing for some time while to My partner and the greater community I identified as heterosexual/heteroflexible. When a web profile offers only the choice of bisexual, I choose that as most accurate given the limited choice, relying on the text of the profile to explain Me. Sometimes, we are not even sure how to label what we feel until we encounter others who feel the same way and see ourselves in their experience. Reflecting on those I know, and in communion with My inner self, I find the label Pansexual to fit Me most comfortably at this point in the journey I share with My partner.

According to Wikipedia, Pansexuality  is defined :

Pansexuality, or omnisexuality  is a sexual orientation characterized by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love, or sexual desire for people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex. Thus, pansexuality includes potential attraction to people who do not fit into the gender binary of male/female. Some pansexuals suggest that they are gender-blind; that gender and sex are insignificant or irrelevant in determining whether they will be sexually attracted to others.

In Our search for a slave to join Our leather family, My partner and I have chosen to focus on a female. She can identify as heterosexual, bisexual, lesbian, genderqueer or pansexual. As a slave, the orientation is less important than the slave-heart, the desire to serve and bond with her Owners. The details surrounding sexual interaction and play are flexible in Our dynamic, the person is more important and the connection established between the three of us.

I am attracted to people individually as I evolve, I probably always have felt this way but had no label to categorize myself. I may find a transgendered individual attractive for example, a butch lesbian, and of course I find my life partner, Master D. extremely attractive on the physical, mental and emotional levels. He is firmly heterosexual, but has the ability to accept service from individuals who identify otherwise.

The better a person knows themselves and refines their definition of self, the more open they become to the possibilities for a life less ordinary.

Yours in leather,

K.

 

 

 

 


1/31/2009 5:26:03 PM
Pass Us by......

Dominant types have feelings too. A stunning revelation it seems. It seems that many identifying as submissive or slave in this online forum seem to not realize the humanity of the Ones that hold the whip. Common courtesy would dictate that if We have taken time to chat on several occasions, exchange emails and share the photos to make a sub/slave feel confident We are not an aparition, We atleast deserve the courtesy of a short note telling Us that you have decided to go a different way in the search etc. We will wish you well and thank you for your manners and the opportunity We had to get to know you.

In that spirit, going forward, We advise anyone to Pass Us By and Do Not Contact Us if the following applies.....

1. If you are looking for online Domination and not interested in Real Time We are not interested.

2. If you are not willing after a week of emails/online chats to take the conversation to a phone call and then an in person meeting in a vanilla setting (restaurant, coffeehouse etc) within a reasonable timeframe....We are not for you, this is Our requirement because We are real and expect the same. A refusal to speak on the phone or meet in a reasonable timeframe is indicative of an online fake.

3. If you can not find a spare moment to reply, however briefly, on a daily basis to any emails received from Us, We are not the Owners for you. We take much time and care to get to know the whole person and expect an engaging dialogue with a sincere potential slave for Our family. Since the potential for a period of a long distance arrangement exists until moving to 24/7 live-in, the only paradigm in which that will work is consistant communication.

4. If the fact that We are real people who want to enjoy a submissive/slave as a person and include her in Our lives as a companion who We will cherish and love as well as dominate, control and play with makes Us seem less strict, less masterly...just 'less' in your eyes....Go on to the next Dom/Domme, We are not for you.

5. If you do not have the interest to read Our journal entries before contacting Us, do not have thoughts of your own to share or are simply looking for an escape from your life, Pass Us by.

as always, yours in leather...

Mistress K. & Master D.

1/27/2009 9:51:43 AM


Limitations : Lines in the sand?

By Mistress K.

Limits. Any individual who values themselves has limits, no matter which side of the whip they are on. Sight unseen, I would dismiss any potential slave that told Me or My partner she had no limits. Over time, a slave may begin to adapt to the preferences of his/her Owner(s). By adopting their limits she can confidently declare that with her Master/Mistress she truly has no limits because there is a comfort level, a knowledge that her Owners will not do certain things because she feels valued and secure.

Soft limits, those S/m, bondage, edge play activities that may be feared in concept or by reputation. An inexperienced submissive or slave may declare wax play, for example, as a limit because he/she fears being burned, not understanding there is a technique to avoid that outcome. Soft limits are preferences that a submissive or slave may want pushed in a committed or long term relationship with a Dominant, but not by someone casually topping them on occasion.

Hard limits, however, are another matter altogether for a potential Owner and slave, or Dom/me and submissive to consider. Naming a particular activity a hard limit should be done thoughtfully. Other than the common three for most (scat, animals, kids), hard limits can also over time evaporate as individuals gain experience and confidence. Hard limits should be respected, even in TPE relationships, when the limit comes from a health concern, a previous negative experience or deep seeded fear.

My partner and I have limits as Dominants and Owners. Assuming the common three, Our limits concern Our reserving some activities for Us alone as a couple to preserve Our bond. Perhaps with the right individual, some of those boundaries will fluctuate as Our comfort level with including a third so intimately in Our lives increases. Master D. is strictly heterosexual, a hard limit of His concerns interactions with males as a result. I have evolved into identifying as heteroflexible, casting aside a limit from long ago of My own. But I have hard limits too, age play (Mommy/girl) and adult babies among them.

If we in this lifestyle choose to look at our limits as lines in the sand of varying depth, rather than etched in stone, amazing discoveries and intimacies can occur.

yours in leather,

K.


1/26/2009 6:03:16 AM

What 24/7 could look like with Us : Threes Company

 

By Mistress K. & Master D.

 

Read the discussion forums on any of the bdsm networking sites and the ubiquitous topic of the realities of 24/7 M/s and D/s relationships is taking place from one point of view or another. The discussions range from ‘Is it really possible?’ to ‘It wasn’t what I expected it to be?’ or ‘How do you blend the vanilla parts of life with lifestyle?’.  24/7 is not for everyone, some people prefer their Domination or submission to be weekend only, cyber only, in public only or long distance. Bringing the challenges and rewards of the power exchange into everyday life, into the light of day, is not for everyone. Its alternative lifestyle taken to a different level, and if the scenario involves trying to make a leather family (3 or more members) a 24/7 live-in reality, it can be hard to imagine what that would look like. The Three’s Company reference may date Us somewhat, but it fits in that for Us, 3 would be the perfect number.

 

We have had frequent discussions in Our household on this topic as We search for that one special female submissive/slave to serve Us, one who We hope will become part of Our loving family and eventually live with Us 24/7. First, We had to feel as a couple that We were secure enough in Our primary relationship with each other to consider the endeavor. As potential heads of household, We need to be in a positive, jealousy-free place with each other and transparent at all times as to Our needs and desires. It would be confusing and frustrating for a new slave serving Us to get conflicting direction from Us as individuals or feel like We were not stable or did not communicate clearly as Owners should. Slaves are drawn to consider an M/s relationship full-time out of a need for structure and for a conduit to fulfill their need to serve and obey.

 

There is a gap between fantasy and reality in many instances, and 24/7 live-in M/s relationships are no different. Unless the Owner(s) are independently wealthy and can support all their slaves real world financial obligations and needs, being caged and naked in chains all day is unlikely to be reality no matter how strong the fantasy. The slave will need to have an outside source of income in Our family, whether that work is full-time or part-time will depend on factors such as: the debts the slave brings to the relationship that must be paid, the profession/skills of the slave, future goals, health insurance and retirement planning realities, and if the slave is currently pursuing higher education. Master and Mistress both in this household have full time careers, so the prospect of having a slave able to work outside the home part-time and provide more service in the home is very appealing. So is the reality that as a family, W/we can enjoy greater prosperity with 3 full-time incomes, or pride in Our property if it is apparent We need to encourage and accommodate her obtaining advanced education to realize her potential as a human being. A slave can not live in poverty and must have the security of her own savings account in the event there is an irreconcilable conflict in the family, and as Owners it is Our duty to insure Our slave is financially responsible. We envision bi-weekly at first and then monthly kitchen table discussions as to the family budget and as a member of the house, Our slave has input, though ultimately must accept Our decisions.

 

Another gap in the reality/fantasy scenario is that there will be days that We as people may be sick, down or exhausted. The slave may have limitations for the same reason on occasion. Having lived Our lifestyle as a couple and worked through mismatched expectations at first and having learned how to develop a flexible structure, We have a realistic idea that some days, protocol will be more relaxed and some days the Master is taking care of a sick slave or has to do some things for themselves the slave ordinarily does. This realization makes Us does not diminish Our dominance, and Our slave will clearly know the directives We have for down days/lower protocol days so the structure does not suffer.

 

We imagine Our slave also as a beloved pet, someone to give Our attention and affection to, to play with at home, and to take on trips with Us, to watch movies with, to grow with Us in the lifestyle. A 24/7 slave in Our family will have household chores on a schedule, but Our hands are not too good to pitch in on things that need to be done to keep a household running smoothly. We enjoy cooking and baking, and that won’t change, We are just adding another pair of hands to help as a sous chef or dishwasher, and another excuse to make elaborate meals since there will be 3 instead of only 2 to share in the results. The Mistress of the home craves what amounts to a body servant, to have weekly pedicures and manicures from her slave and the occasional massage. The Master of the house needs someone who will learn to properly iron His dress shirts, shine His shoes and make His personal appointments for Him on occasion.

 

We also will want Our slave to take good care of herself. We will insure she eats sensibly, exercises and minds her health. Her appearance is important to Us, a reflection on Us and We will make sure she is presenting herself in the most attractive manner for her assets, selecting new additions to her wardrobe that are appropriate and flattering, hair style/length and nails done just like her Mistress. We may take pride in showing off Our slave at lifestyle events, but We do not share what is Ours with other Dominants. We also believe in being appropriate for the situation and not exposing Our proclivities to family or other vanillas in a gratuitous manner, Our slave can be assured life with Us 24/7 will not involve dressing her inappropriately in public. We live in Vermont, it is cold here, and We live in a small town that We all have to work, shop and conduct our business in and life with Us includes all these things within the undercurrent of Our power exchange.

 

Our household rules will be simple and clear, discipline defined as well. Reasonable time for adjustment and training, and such things as hard limits and satisfaction of Our kinks and fetishes are all the good parts of 24/7. The opportunity to kneel at an Owners feet daily, to be collared and put to bed at night….those are the things that feed both the Master and the slave heart.

 

Others may structure their lives and families differently, this is what We envision working for Us when We get to that juncture with a special slave who is ready.

 

yours in leather,

Mistress K & Master D.


1/23/2009 8:40:57 AM

Submissive v. Slave……

by Mistress K.

 

I am once again inspired by one with whom We are currently corresponding, exploring compatibility and possibilities. Our profile states that We seek a slave to own, someone who knows the difference between being a submissive and being a slave. In retrospect, that is a fairly general statement, and each Dominant/Owner may define ‘submissive’ and ‘slave’ quite differently. In less than My customary 500 words, I will endeavor to more clearly define what the difference is to Master D. and me.

 

From a precise language usage perspective, submissive is an adjective to describe the behavior of an individual, though some in the lifestyle use it as a noun. Slave is always a noun, a noun being a person, place or thing by definition. A slave in the leather lifestyle is considered both a person, and a thing (object to be owned). Slaves are also submissive to their Owners. but may be Dominant to others.

 

The ‘mileage’ of other Dominants/Owners may vary on this topic, and I have sat in conferences with others in the lifestyle I respect very much but disagree with how they approach the structures of their M/s relationships, as I am sure Our paradigm is disagreeable to them. We seek ‘a slave’, but that is the result We have as a goal when bringing a third into Our family. Before a girl can surrender to Us, trust Us with her life and very being, there is a journey of discovery W/we must go through. Getting to know one another as people are important before We demand honorifics or make rules. Being real and plain in our speech concerning our mutual expectations and desires comes before talk of punishment, 24/7, or collars. Feeling that intangible dynamic that encourages submission in the potential slave and places strength and motivation in Our domination comes well before the step of declaring someone Our slave or Us her Owners.

 

If one has never served as a slave, initially they may simply identify as submissive. Perhaps no previous Dominant engendered the feelings within the submissive of wanting to have structure and serve beyond the bedroom and kink. The difference then for Us amounts to finding that rare submissive who desires a complete relationship, to be a part of Our life and family. A submissive whose obedience comes from within out of a desire to please Us without the constant need of the whip has a slave heart that We seek to nurture. A submissive who thinks of her Owners preferences and who feels most complete while kneeling at their feet, secure in their love signified by the collar around her neck and safe in their dominion is the slave We speak of. The submissive has the power of negotiation on an ongoing basis; the slave is secure in her Owner’s judgment and her contracted limits because she knows her Owners value their property and would never harm her. Discipline may be a part of play in a D/s relationship, but in the M/s paradigm discipline is part of training and not meant to fill the sadistic or masochistic needs of the partners. Those needs can be fulfilled honestly and openly without excuses. A slave to Us is competent, trusted and empowered to perform tasks and takes pride in representing Us well.

 

Perhaps in Our profiles We put the cart before the horse, so to speak. A girl entering Our lives will submit to Us first, knowing where We desire to go in Our path together, accepting the mantle of slave when the moment is right. We are not into Velcro collars or an instant intimacy; We wish to savor the journey as well as the ultimate reward.

 

yours in leather,

 

K.


1/21/2009 4:38:24 AM

Love in the M/s paradigm

by Mistress K.

A long long long drive north after the Inauguration in D.C. gave Me time to reflect further on a question asked of Us by someone We are corresponding with here on Collarme. Though I provided her with a thoughtful answer in relation to Master D. and I, I think the topic bears exploration in Our journal.

What place does love have in Master/slave relationships? For some, love (like sex) per se has very little to do with their power exchange. The Owners in those situations may love their property, but will say that they are not 'in love' with the submissive/slave and that love hinders the dynamic. There are several people I respect that subscribe to this and apply it to the structure of their leather families as well.

Master D. and I have a different approach to Our life and lifestyle. We do not put up barriers between Us as a couple, and intend not to do so with the one who chooses to be owned by Us. We maintain that the fact that We show affection to each other, love each other intensely, does not diminish Us and if We love Our slave and show her affection and love that We are not diminished in Our Mastery. For Us, there is a place for love in a healthy M/s dynamic, just as there is for strictness, punishment, protocol, fetish, servitude and humility.

The goal of having a loving poly family is real for Us. It compels Us to send and reply to emails sincerely, look at profiles, spend time chatting online, on the phone, going to events, networking and driving hours if that is the scenario to hopefully meet the right person for Us.

Much confidence, thoughtfulness and patience is needed to embark on expanding from a monogamous couple into closed-polyamory. As I said to the one I wrote to, and have remarked in the past, poly without the amory is promiscuity. In other words.....We want the love too.

Yours in leather,

Mistress K.


1/19/2009 3:37:06 AM
Absorbing History.....by Mistress K.

The search for a slave to join Master D. and I takes a break for Me for a few days as I take time to absorb the historical moment that is upon us as a nation. I am in Washington D.C. for the inauguration of our 44th President and the energy and anticipation of the moment is palpable.

I traveled the nearly 500 miles south from Vermont on Sunday directly off working the night shift, arriving by dinner time at the home of my best friend. I was passed along the way on the NJ turnpike by tour busses and cars with license plates spanning New York, Massachusetts, Maine, Rhode Island, Connecticut, New Hampshire and even a few from Vermont joined Me. When I stopped for gasoline and to fortify Myself with coffee in Maryland, the rest area was overflowing with a crowd unusual for a sunday. Happy, laughing, excited and unusually friendly, sporting signs, tshirts and hats proclaiming their reasons for being on the road. Obama!

Exhaustion melted away to anticipation of the events of 1/20/2009. As a nation, America has so many grim challenges urgently waiting for our new president to address. I supported him from the beginning, investing Myself in every debate, every primary, HOPING. His actions since victory have been reassuring that change is coming and his words were not hollow. At some point, for example, he will end the policy in our nations armed forces of 'Don't ask/Don't tell' that marginalizes our gay and lesbian citizens called to the ultimate sacrifice. But first, there is the economy, unemployment, health care, 2 wars.....


The energy here is incredible, if you can't be here, I hope you take time to watch on television or online. Take time out from the kink for a moment....it'll be here when we get back.

Yours in leather,
Mistress K.


1/16/2009 7:23:37 AM

Extreme Sport……by Mistress K.

 

All manner of what are termed extreme sports have emerged in recent years to capture the imagination of popular culture. The participants probably are drawn to these types activities for the rush of adrenaline, the personal challenge and the attention they receive. The fans of these sports get a similar indirect thrill from watching, sometimes peeking through their hands in fear and wonderment.

 

Practicioners of BDSM experience the thrill of extreme sexuality, and there are those who simply like to watch (voyeurs). We are much like the extreme sportsmen, those of Us into S/m. We assemble specialized equipment, clothing, and have created whole industries around Our demand for more sensation.

 

I included a picture of Our toybox on Our profile to illustrate Our interests and to give a potential slave insights into the kinds of activities We enjoy in Our version of extreme sexuality. Master D. collects gags and hoods, they are central to His style of control, along with leather cuffs, chains and locks. Canes and other stingy implements that deliver the maximum effect and make pretty marks are My interest, as well as pervertable medical devices that can deliver a whole host of sensations. We love collars and choosing strict ones for play and a meaningful one for Our slave to wear as a symbol of Our commitment to her and hers to Us.

 

We share a passion for high heels and fetishwear. If a potential slave does not ordinarily wear heels or needs help learning to walk in 5 inchers, We will train her properly. Stockings and garters (never pantyhose) are something I enjoy wearing, as well as having my girl wear them. Fetishwear always looks best in black, and high quality PVC, primarily Catherine Coatney designs, fill My closet. Taking My future slave shopping at My favorite shops, such as Le Chateau in New Hope, PA for a nice long day trip or to some of my favorite vendors at events and having her try on clothes for Myself and Master D. is something I anticipate with pleasure. If the slave I own has been a particularly good obedient girl, she and I will have fittings for corsets together, shoe shop and she will pick out a toy for Me to torment her with when We get home.

 

Master D. and I are, as Our journal postings reveal, very interested in service, structure and discipline within M/s relationships. The mental aspects. We are also fetishists, sadomasochists and incorporate Our needs into the structure of Our leather relationships just as sexuality is a part of a vanilla marriage. The gear is just A LOT sexier….

 

yours in leather,

 

K.


1/15/2009 12:16:31 PM
Please note: don't ask for a face picture until we have spoken on the phone, we have provided enough pictures on our profile. too many fakes on here at collar me , and GUYS read the fucking profile and don't e-mail us with a picture of your cock........for that matter don't e-mail us at all.

......Master D.

1/15/2009 2:33:15 AM

The bedside table.....by Mistress K.

I am a big believer in lifelong learning and education. I believe if there is something an individual wants to learn, there is more than likely a good book that can atleast begin the process. Master D. and I have a tremendous collection of cookbooks and books about the history of food, and We never tire of browsing Our local independent book store for new ones. Oh the places We have been through books!

There are a plethora of books about Our chosen lifestyle. Some better than others for certain. Part of the role of an Owner is to encourage the growth of the slave and the acceptance of self. Several excellent books are available to aid in this journey, books I would want My slave to have read and if the slave has not, I would task them with doing so and discuss their feelings and thoughts with Me.

On Our slave's bedside table :

1. Becoming a Slave: Jack Rinella
2. Protocols: Handbook for the Leather slave: Robert Rubel
3.The Path of Service : Guideposts for Excellence: Christina Parker

Other books can help a slave called to service have references handy if commanded to a task in which the slave has little or no experience. These tasks may be of a domestic nature, repair, or resources to make the slave a more engaging conversationalist. The preferences of the Owner dictate this type collection, or a slave may obtain resources to improve themselves while they are unowned and searching.

A slave called to serve Us may find the following list helpful in her library:

1.The Martha Stewart Homekeeping Handbook
     
     This handy but heavy book is a comprehensive housekeeping
     reference for every area of the home. The laundry section is
     most valuable.
  
2. Clothes and the Man : Alan Flusser

     Knowing how to tie Master's tie properly, care for His suits
     properly iron His shirts is essential to serving One who
     is a professional.

3. Home Improvement 1-2-3 (Home Depot)

     The illustrations help the novice fix the most minor of
     household problems as well as handy skills like wiring a
     dimmer switch

4. Spa : Refreshing Rituals for Body and Soul

     Mistress has abit of a foot fetish, loves pedicures and
     massages...Owns a hot rocks kit and a slave
     skilled in it's use would be pleasing.

Books and activities that enrich one's life can make them a more pleasing slave and companion. We enjoy history, politics, debating social issues, fine food , stimulating conversation and good coffee. We are always looking for opportunities to learn and experience as well, reading a book on tending chickens in preparation for moving to a larger piece of property where a flock would be possible (fresh eggs!!).

Until next time....the search continues.

yours in leather,

Mistress K.


1/14/2009 6:43:28 AM

Potatoes & Onions

by: Mistress K.

Potatoes and Onions, I already anticipate this to prove an inelegant metaphor, but as Master D. and I are what the popular culture terms ‘foodies’ it is also an appropriate one to describe the type of slave We seek.

Let Me start by saying, We love potatoes. There is nothing more satisfying next to the perfectly grilled and seasoned steak (black and blue is how We both like Our steak btw) than a baked potato. Soft on the inside with crispy skin, dressed with butter, sour cream, chives and freshly ground pepper. Potatoes are comfort food, simple and unchallenging, satisfying. But, We prefer to reserve Our potato experiences to the plate. When it comes to slaves, We prefer onions.

Think beyond the way raw onions bring tears to the cook, or the smell onions leave on the breath. It is the structure of an onion, multi-layered, complex that is the counterpoint to the simple potato which possesses a thin skin over a dense solid mass. The potato must be cooked and flavored to be edible, the onion can be consumed as it is raw or used to add flavor to countless dishes.

There are potential slaves that are potatoes, and slaves that are onions. Our preference is for an onion. The type of slave that has interests both in life and lifestyle that We can explore layer by layer. The ‘onion’ slave has multiple reasons they are drawn to seek this life. No one fixed fantasy compels them, and this slave is eager to learn from and be molded by their Owners. To grow in their submission and learn about themselves.  Onions are perfectly imperfect, real. This slave adds flavor and depth to their Owner’s experience of Dominance.

The potato is simple, a thin layer of skin covers a fixed fantasy the slave needs fulfilled in order to serve. This slave projects onto her Owner(s) a limited surrender based on having a specific need fulfilled or role played. Without this specific fulfillment, the ‘potato’ slave loses interest in service, remaining rigid and unyielding at their core. Playing with the potato slave is satisfying in the moment, it is comfortable, but there are no revelations, no growth, and no catharsis.

We enjoy potatoes, but seek onions for the long term.

Yours in leather,

Mistress K.


1/12/2009 8:22:37 AM

A sneak peek….the kinky side 

by : Mistress K.

 

Looking back at My most recent ponderings, I am pleased with the progression because Master D. and I are sincere in Our quest to add the right individual to Our family. We are not simply seeking a kinky play partner or fantasy slave with unrealistic ideas about how M/s relationships work for real. But then I got to thinking, while all My musings are instructive as to Our philosophy and expectations, Our kinks, fetishes and deep dark desires are what started Us on this path together so…..Let’s go there.

 

The checklists on all the various online meet and beat sites have their uses, and Ours are extremely accurate as a summary of what We like (and Our limits…..yes, Dominants do have limits too) but perhaps a scenario would whet the interest (and perhaps the panties too) of a curious submissive or slave that happened across Us online. Perhaps the curious s-type would like to know what it might be like to submit to two D-types simultaneously.

 

The slave with experience knows the intensity, the rush of extreme sensation that can occur during a play session with one Dom/me topping them, reaching into the depths of their desires, fears and endurance for pain and pleasure. Imagine being the sole focus of two Dominants at once, the excitement and anticipation she will feel knowing that all of her deepest, darkest fantasies have a chance at fulfillment or being exceeded by the presence of a Master and a Mistress at once. Two who often act seamlessly as one voice, but unique in their methods for drawing that submission into full surrender at Their feet.

 

It will begin with the slave’s arrival at Our home. She will greet her Owners properly by kneeling and kissing Master and Mistress’s feet in turn. Our slave will then know that We have laid out a sexy, slutty outfit for her to change into on arrival and will do so when released and praised for greeting Us as expected. Our fetish Barbie in black patent leather, 6 inch heels, stockings and garters. If the slave has been obedient and pleasing, Mistress K. will be dressed to play with Her slave. Perhaps saving the special privilege of polishing Her latex stockings to a shine for Her slave to do while Master D. prepares His playroom to torment her deliciously. The entire latex outfit is gleaming ebony as Mistress K. wraps Her gentle but firm hand in the slave’s hair, winding it to the scalp lovingly then suddenly grasping and using it as a leash to guide the slave crawling to Master D.

 

Imagine, Our slave, quivering in anticipation of Our sadism and the bondage and humiliations to come. Mistress K. nearly 6’4” tall in her heels and Master D. 6’5”, Our mere physical presence commands attention. Attention will be assured once the hood Master D. favors is on His slaves head and she has lost the ability to see what is coming next. He is the strict iron fist inside of the velvet glove that is the Mistress’s touch. His tone of voice firm when He instructs Our slave to place her forehead on the ground and ass in the air (Down is the command) for a spanking that is merely a warm up for what is to come. Do We have your attention now?

 

The whistle of the whip and the whoosh of the cane are sounds I can not get enough of…..and a steady target is ensured by the strict bondage Master D. favors putting His slaves into. Gags? We have a dozen different varieties to utilize on a slave when hearing screams of pain (or ecstasy) no longer pleases Us. Subspace? that’s where good obedient slaves get to go, and We love the melting surrender that happens when that flying begins.

 

This is just a small vignette of how it may begin. We are spontaneous, We enjoy edge play, control and humiliation to break down a slave’s defenses. Intense experiences that will bond Us together and leave U/us craving still more…….

 

Until next time…….

 

Yours in Leather,

Mistress K.


1/10/2009 7:13:21 AM

A Master/Mistress worth serving...

by
Mistress K.

My previous journal entry, and dare I say the profiles of most Dominants emphasize the qualities that they seek in a submissive or slave, as well as specific requirements they expect to be satisfied. A Dominant should have standards, be specific about what brings them pleasure and not compromise on the core needs that feed and nurture them in their role. I maintain however, that the maxim is true; to whom much is given…much is required. Just as a slave should strive to be a person worth the time an effort that is involved in mastering them, an Owner needs to be a person worth serving.

 

Each individual slave, no matter their gender, kinks or orientation, has specific ideas, fantasies and needs when it comes to selecting an Owner to serve. Dominants must never forget this fact. The slave has chosen the Master/Mistress just as surely as the Master/Mistress has chosen the slave. Despite all the literature and opinion to the contrary, a slave who is not getting their needs met over an extended period of time will request release to seek one who will feed their slave heart. A Master/Mistress who is worthy of service will not fear or deny this reality.

 

Master D. and I have traveled this path of the M/s lifestyle for 5 years together. We have each attended to improving ourselves and learning about Our chosen lifestyle as a couple and separately. Attending events like M/s Conference and immersing Myself in 3 days of seminars given by others with more experience, or experiences different from My own, as well as seeking out M/s oriented munches and groups like MAsT have influenced my journey and lent tolerance to My views. A Master/Mistress worthy of service will encourage their slave to have friends in the lifestyle, to attend events when appropriate, and allow for discussions where the slave can explore and grow in their understanding. Master D. and I can discuss anything openly, the bond between Us strong enough for being Our authentic selves. We seek that from a relationship with Our slave in time as well.

 

A Master/Mistress worthy of service can admit when they have made an error, admit when they do not know something and will apologize when that is appropriate. One worthy of the surrender of another provides for the emotional well-being of their property, as well as the physical and pushes hard limits carefully. An Owner worth serving does not punish their slave as an excuse to fulfill any sadistic desire, but rather to correct undesirable behavior, and the slave is made to understand the transgression and promptly forgiven after punishment has been meted out. An Owner worth serving will take the time to get to know their slave over time and will not rush into the immediate gratification of quick play and an instant collar.

Masters and Mistresses worthy of being called an Owner do not financially exploit their slaves. They also do not disconnect the slave from family ties or discourage the continuation of existing friendships unless those relationships are not healthy for the slave’s development. A Master/Mistress called to ownership beyond the bedroom can use their position in a slave’s life to help the slave improve as a person and accomplish goals in the unique construct a power exchange relationship allows. Whether the task is improving appearance, eating healthfully, higher education or financial management, a Master or Mistress worthy of a slave should offer their dominance beyond the crack of the whip or the whoosh of a cane.

 

Owners are not perfect, they must be allowed to be human and fallible by their property, but an aspiring Owner should have a plan for their own life and be working to achieve it and be stable before seeking to manage that of another. One does not have to be wealthy or have every fancy toy available, have a perfect body or fancy home to be a Master worth serving. Good Masters/Mistresses come in many diverse appearances, genders, financial means and philosophies.

 

This is what Master D. & I believe and strive to achieve, your mileage (opinion) may vary.

 

Yours in Leather,

 

K.


1/8/2009 1:09:19 AM

Someone Worth Owning......

by Mistress K.

I am certain every Dom, Domme, Master and Mistress would characterize themselves as particular about the subs/slaves they seek. That they have standards, requirements that are not flexible in order to be pleased with the potential slave. I may be physical beauty, a certain fetish, a talent for a particular service or ability to take pain. What Master D. and I seek in most general terms, casting that limited list of fetishes and kinks aside that seems to be of so much focus, is a slave who seperately from Us is a person worth owning.

Some potential Owners may prefer a slave who always looks at the floor, one who craves the most extreme objectification, one who denies having any hard limits, one who promises to give up the world in service to a Master/Mistress. We require obedience, We are kinky to the extreme with limits of Our own the slave will adopt, We have specific fetishes and Our slave will enjoy the same activities. That is a given for Us. We are more interested in Who you are than what you can take or do since We will train you to Our preferences, all We require is willingness to serve.

Being real and experienced in living Our lifestyle 24/7 means We desire a person with the same realistic expectation and outlook. For Us, a slave worth owning is one who has their own opinions, one who is intellectually curious, one who knows how to express themselves verbally and in writing clearly and respectfully. A slave worth owning has a skill, trade or education that enables them to financially contribute to their own sustenance, and eventually that of the household. A slave worth owning has interests, hobbies, curiousity about the world and the ability to engage with Us in meaningful conversation. A slave worth owning has friends, family and wants their owner(s) to be a part of their complete life. A slave worth owning cares that their appearance is pleasing and shows that they value themselves by maintaining an appropriate and healthy weight for their frame.

This last point speaks to an element of Our profile, the requirement for a slave that is height/weight proportionate or willing to be mentored to achieve that status. Physical attraction is important to Us, We are attractive people, but the requirement speaks to the belief that a slave worth owning has prepared themselves for service or is deeply interested in slavery for reasons beyond the masturbatory fantasies it provides.

A quality Owner is also a mentor, teacher and protector.......more on that to come.

Yours in Leather,

Mistress K.


1/7/2009 9:56:53 AM
Reading is Fundamental : a note from Master D. to male subs/slaves

Gentlemen.....Our profile is quite definate and clear as to what We seek. Currently, We are only considering female submissives/slaves to serve Us. Any mail sent to Us by a male for any purpose other than friendship will be deleted without response and you will be blocked by Me.





1/6/2009 10:23:54 AM

What Service Means to Us.......

by Mistress K.

There are as many definitions of service in this lifestyle as there are Masters and Mistresses. Submissives and Slaves also have their own definitions of what service means to them, so a universal definition is meaningless.

Master D. and I have very defined ideas about how a slave will fit into Our life and the service We seek in exchange for Our dominance and being accepted into Our family. The popular notion that submission is a 'gift' has some merit, but dominance is also a gift. Dominating, controlling, managing another person takes time and effort. It's why the type of relationships We seek are referred to as a Power Exchange.

We do not consider the willingness of a slave to take a whipping and be played with by Us to be service per se. Submission? yes, in that moment and not to be taken for granted surely. Service beyond the sexual/play is something more. The motivation to please a Master or Mistress when the reward to the slave is more intrinsic is a quality We value highly.

The greatest challenge for the potential slave in serving a Dominant couple lies in pleasing two Masters, but the rewards also significant. For Us, the most important aspect is willingness to serve Us both equally, knowing that there are no secrets between Us as a couple and We will be completely transparent in Our relationship with the slave.

A female slave seeking to join Us could expect all the play, bondage and S/m she could handle. She could expect that We will mold her to Our preferences while being open to exploring the preferences of hers that suit Us. A female slave should know that her service to the Mistress may include giving pedicures, massages, assisting in the kitchen, housework, serving as a companion at lifestyle events and munches, going shopping with Mistress and more. For the Master, a female slave's service may include learning to iron His shirts properly, being dressed for His pleasure like a fetish doll, performing errands to make His life easier, shining His shoes.

What do We offer for good service? For a slave who is obedient and willing to please? We offer the light and attention only a Dom/me can offer one who is called to this life. We offer a unique paradigm to meet your needs while meeting Ours. What We do not offer is a quick fix, an easy path to a collar or merely kinky sex.


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vanessaspra
 
 Age: 53
 Canberra, Australia