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Sleazyweazel

Sleazyweazel - photo 1

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Been away from this site for a few years, but now back. Older, greyer, heavier, but arguably no wiser. Updated a few pics, and will sort the rest of this out at my leisure. Might as well start with a bit about me. That would be 'me' as in myself, not as in 'I want do this, then this, then this, then this...' Oh, and if I was a *Real* Dom (tm) I'd be calling myself 'Master Overlord High Uber Admiral Darth von Weasel' or somesuch nonsense. I'd even witter on about teaching all three grammatical persons, rather than just terminating with the third person like every other dick-head wannabe. :P

Keep reading. If I haven't offended you then we might get on. I am your average scion of an otherwise respectable family. Vain, egotistical, vaguely materialistic, shallow, opinionated, obstinate, and generally right. Disgustingly well educated and utterly bone-idle. Flippant, irreverant, aggressive and argumentative. An "Arsehole" to those who lack insight and/or a sense of humour. Crippled with arthritis and floating on painkillers. Open minded and with a criminally low boredom threshold that made the drift into BDSM inevitable. Those are just my good points... Actually, I'm strangely worth it too. Not convinced? Try me. Due to being able to read, I can maintain a conversation on almost anything; but don't ask for my opinion on correct terms of address or Big Brother as a smack in mouth tends to offend. Oh, and don't call me m/Master or s/Sir (I dunno wtf is with the capitilisation... is it like pHuNkEySpEaK?), a simple 'Sleazy' will do. Or 'Mr. Weasel' if you must, but strictly speaking that's my father. Bonus points for 'Uncle Sleazy', especially if you're in pigtails.

I will also say that every adult relationship I've been it was kinked in some way. I am also currently Single (as in 'no partner', not as in 'don't tell the wife'). Puts me a rung or two above the self-important, mid-life crisis, fornication brigade, eh?
Oh, chances are that we'll not get on if you are a Poly-Wally, part of the Munch-Bunch, or a Scene-Queen. I have my reasons... not least of them being that I'm completely comfortable in who I am. I've also been doing this for half my life so fuck your posing, needy desperation, and self-help group mentality. Anyone left?

So what am I on here for then? Christ... (no, not literally, I am offensive - not desperate). Anybody with half a brain who can hold a conversation without saying "emote: kneels before you" or "call me *Mistress* Wasp-Chewer" within the first half-hour would be a good start. I don't have a "type" per se, although in the past (much) younger subs (and the odd naturally dominant woman) have worked. Ultimately though I'd love a long-term relationship with a fellow perv that would seem "normal" to the outside world, but actually would make Messalina blush. Nae pressure though as I'm still *cough* young(-ish). Ach, an old man can still dream...

What am I *not* here for then? No marrieds, no polys, no bdsm-clubbers, no players, no fantasists, and no online-only. If your profile mention that idiotic financial-domination nonsense or rinsing (other than for your hair) I am simply not interested. This is my sexuality, not a fucking job!
Other than that, use your imagination. Here are some clues: Experienced Dom-y Switch-y guy.
Comprehensive list of interests (see tab above)
Hasn't just read 'BDSM for Dummies' after turning 30-odd!
Might have a teeny wee sense of humour


Let's get one final point cleared up. For me, 'switch' is simply shorthand for 'sexual-sadist-meets-anal-slut'. Besides, being a switch is rather like being bi - you like both, but do not necessarily need both with the same partner. Just because I *can* switch, and *do* switch, doesn't mean I *will* switch with you. Funny the people who seem to think you'll cry "all change, ding-ding" halfway through...


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2/28/2018 12:48:41 AM
"Wanna come back to mine?  We can listen to Q Lazzarus, and you can watch me sew...." :P

8/18/2017 8:59:42 AM
Back sewing again, and with leather too. ;-)

3/2/2017 5:35:57 AM
Three years later, and I'm back...

I believe rather a lot has happened to both myself and the site in that time. Anyway... let's start again, shall we?

4/7/2014 2:14:24 AM
Oh, and *absolutely* no... Poly-whatsits Baby-whatsits Fin-dim-crim-thingers Marrieds (or generally Not Single) Scene-bores

4/7/2014 1:58:40 AM
Right, just a wee update. I have made a conscious decision and am now actively looking for a sub (although a switch would not be turned away). Line forms to the right... :-P Mind you, that would rely on this site not being a hotbed of fakes and fantasists.

12/29/2013 5:52:09 PM

I know it's just after Christmas and all that, and money is tight, but has the fucking ratio of fin-domme-muppets to real people just gone through the roof?

Fuck me, it seems every noob with a pair of tits has decided to start charging for it. Well, firstly I don't pay for it. And secondly, if I did it wouldn't be with some teenager who looks like she got he shitty whip our of her Frosties one morning - and that's from someone who actually prefers younger women!

Come on CM, get scammers slung on to adultwork or somewhere the whore-mongers can go without jamming the bandwidth for the rest of us poor perverts.


10/18/2013 10:44:56 PM
All good things come (back) to those who wait. :-)

10/13/2013 8:46:29 AM

I think I have just taken the "mirror selfie" to a new nadir. Good lens though. A voigtlander 25mm f/0.95 (yeah!) for those in the know.

Oh, and if you are local-ish and fancy some strictly amateur fetish modelling let me know...


10/11/2013 2:11:15 PM

Christ, I love having a sauna! Worth every penny to have that put in... :D


6/29/2013 4:40:55 AM

The only real disadvantage to being single and utterly free from any on-going entanglements with dependants or ex partners is that one expects (albeit erroneously) others to be in the same place.

 

Ach well... I can wait.



5/11/2013 7:00:01 AM
I find it the height of cowardice to block someone mid-conversation without waiting for their reply. Personally, I'll give you a fair shake. It's only if you are constantly trying to bait me that I'll block you. I guess some people like to have the last word, but lack the erudition to do so the old fashioned way...

2/8/2013 11:48:13 PM

IC is closing? Good fucking riddance, says I. Maybe if I wait long enough those idiots on It's-Not-A-Dating-Site will vanish up their own collective arseholes too...


12/21/2012 10:26:39 AM

Sauna now installed in my (home) gym.

 

Yes, that is as good as it sounds...


11/30/2012 5:12:35 AM
Just a quick update for all the "fin domme" muppets out there. It will save us all the tedium of conversing if I just give you my credit card details now. The long number across the front of the card is 0000 0000 0000 0000. The expiry date is 00/00. And the check code on the back is 000. If you can guess from the above how much you'll be getting, then you're significantly brighter than the idiots who "tribute" you.

11/25/2012 5:09:51 PM
Actually, now that I think about it, you're doing rather well if you can get a domme to drive you to disneyworld too...

11/24/2012 4:17:13 AM
And now back in "sunny" Scotland. You know you're a jammy bastard when you can get a domme to sort your house whilst you're away... ;-)

11/15/2012 5:24:25 PM
Currently in sunny Florida.

10/14/2012 3:08:05 PM

New pic up, of my smiley face. Enjoy it while it lasts...


9/30/2012 2:32:29 PM

Now, does your average fem sub have a mouth like a yawning basking shark or is the average male "dom" just hung like a bloody chipmunk?

 

Fuck lot of pictures out there of some young thing slurping on a rather less-than-impressive chipolata. Luv, I'd be embarrassed to show that off...

 


9/12/2012 12:38:43 PM

Christ! Is anyone here *not* trying to fleece money from idiots???


8/27/2012 1:43:07 PM

Did I miss that memo? You know, the one that says, "all Real Kinksters (tm) must be morbidly obese and fuggly to the point of scaring children"...

 

... or was it just for the poly-wally-wooos?


8/10/2012 1:19:41 PM

And another picture for the fan club...


4/12/2012 3:29:29 PM

Revised profile and new (read "recent") pics *should* be up....


4/9/2012 4:03:19 PM
Full update of profile soon.

12/7/2011 2:19:47 PM
Is it obligatory to have a picture of your fucking feet on your profile now???

10/20/2011 9:15:41 AM
Try this next time you read a sub's journal, blog, or wank-fantasy: put on a comedy Igor voice (complete with lisp) and read it out loud. All together now, "Yeth, Math-ter..."

12/30/2010 12:35:46 PM

Right - I'm not here for some pervy revolution, and I'm sure as hell not here for some self-help social club.


12/21/2010 8:07:36 PM
Sewing machine and a samurai sword for Christmas. Says it all really... heh heh.

10/21/2010 2:37:10 PM

Announcement: I'm now walking with a stick, and it helps a fuck-load.

If you have any fantasies involving crotchety arrogant old men (a la that nice Dr. House) then you know where to come... ;-)


9/12/2010 4:39:25 PM
Am I the only one who associates the word "scene" primarily with ill-bred toddlers throwing a strop in the supermarket?

5/19/2010 1:53:14 AM

I was in my local supermarket, and they made me hand over "tribute" before leaving with my groceries.

Every month my bank demands "tribute" or they will foreclose on my mortgage.

After finishing a meal in a restaurant I'm expected to pay "tribute" to the owners before I leave the premises.

Face it, this "tribute" nonsense is just a pretty shoddy euphemism for money - you know: loot, dosh, shekels... cold hard cash?


Next week: euphemisms for 'people who accept money in exchange for sexual services'.


4/30/2010 12:20:51 AM

Quick Tip for Newbies (and not-so-Newbies): -

Before taking pictures of your bed, remove your somewhat naff Anne Summers collection from it as I'm more interested in seeing the linen. Ta.


3/19/2010 1:23:16 PM
Oooooo - can I just take this opportunity to recommend Libidex.co.uk as good place to buy rubber.

They aren't cheap (even in the sale), but the quality is well worth it. Even an off-the-peg medium fits extremely well, and looks the part.

Pics to follow, as they say

2/22/2010 2:45:03 PM
Hey, here's a great idea...

If you've blocked my messages with no explaination, stop looking at my damn profile!

Some people are just playing a fecking game.

1/24/2010 2:40:13 PM

Hmmmm - Libidex.com meets credit card.


11/6/2009 2:43:39 PM


Oh, how I ever want to be
A writer of scene poetry
I'd fill my work with platitudes
Like "kiss of steel" and "flesh meets wood"
Eroticism, most sublime
I'd butchered with a two-line rhyme
But try and try as much I might
My rhymes they always turn out rubbish.


Not to be confused with the real thing...
http://www.leathernroses.com/poems/labyrinth.htm


10/26/2009 10:19:10 AM

[Insert semi-literate and unfeasible wank-fantasy in here]

Hey, I'm just trying to fit in...


7/8/2009 4:34:15 PM

Hah hah - must be Coward-Hour again...

I've had the following unsolicited message from a pro-domme:
"Rude! rude! rude! ( and a little stupid as well to be honest ) CLICKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. "

And when I queried whether this was maybe a case of the pot called the kettle 'ethnic' I discovered I'd been blocked.

Yup, unsolicited - as in "never wrote to the 49-yr-old woman". Funny, I was always under the impression that 'pro' was a truncation of 'Professional'. Silly me...

I pity the poor bugger who pays for that. Or maybe I was actually getting a freebie. Ooooooooooo! Beat me, Mwistrwess...I am Your wyrm! :-P


6/9/2009 10:02:12 AM

Am I the only person who'd be very wary of a (self-confessed) "domme" who's on benefits and has 7k of credit card debts???

Hah, it's like the "dominant" men who still live with their mothers. If you can't control your own life then you shouldn't even be contemplating controlling other peoples'!


6/1/2009 2:47:08 PM
WTF??? I am 33. Thirty-*three*. Old enough to know better, but too young (and slim) to be a "daddy" dim. Not that I'd want to anyway I hasten to add.

Why ask for my DoB if you aren't going to use it? Stupid internet-thingy...

4/4/2009 3:59:33 AM
Ahhh - I do love the block function...

It's a sad state of affairs when you have to sever contact with three people in two weeks. Now, I make no secret of being completely and utterly against the scene and the bullshit terminology that goes with it. These dear people originally seemed to be pretty sound, pretty normal, and on a par with myself. My mistake! I get "collared", "playing", and their new "Daddy" - they get block, block, and block.

Ah, I hear you cry - but it is "normal" for people within the scene to use all those terms.

Yes, and it is equally normal for people who play WoW to talking about "pwnage", "raiding", and their new "guildmaster". Doesn't mean I want to hear about it or even associate with the sad fucks, does it?

I don't give a toss what people do within their own homes - be it gaming or perving (or both). However, I do object to people who name-drop the specific terminology into everyday speech in the hope it makes them sound uber-l33t or something.  Nah, it just makes you sound like a posing twat.

Not like I'll lose any sleep over a bunch of ones and zeros I've never even met...

3/19/2009 8:41:12 AM
Cheers for the messages from people saying they like the profile and/or journal. It's nice to know that not *everyone* on here is a pretentious gold-digging fuck-tard.

Never a truer word spoken in jest! I agree with every word (and no, I did not write the damn thing).
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/BDSM

3/19/2009 8:13:01 AM
Breathren, you know I am not afraid to ruffle a few feathers.

I know I' ve said it before... but my hatred for the club-scene, the munch-bunch, and all the assorted ritualist/fetishist gobshite jargon that goes with them knows no bounds. I loathe them all, and everything they stand for.

Why? Mainly because I have next-to-fuck-all in common with them.
1) I'm out (check the facial pics) and have been for... well, for-ever basically. So I don't need the clappy-happy support group of the munch bunch to show me that it's okay to be a perv. I *know* it's fucking okay - that's why I've been doing it my entire adult life! If you aren't comfortable with who you are then you shouldn't be wasting anyone else's time while you figure it out, should you?
2) If I wanted to wear rubber and hang about with pot-bellied & bearded old men I'd simply go diving. I'd have more in common with them for a start. Not being a fucking closet-case I don't feel the need to go to some club to be with "people like me", rather than "people who resemble either my parents or some nerdy couple I wouldn't even look at twice".
3) As this is my sex life and the only one I've had I don't feel the need to dress it up to something new, different, or special. There is a world of difference between being Out and using your sexuality as a bludgeon. There is simply no need to attempt to bamboozle or shock Joe Public by referring to yourself as in a "monogomous fetish relationship" when "relationship" would have done as to most people (aside from the poly-pricks) they are monogomous by default. It also begs the question as to which partner is the "fetish", hmmmm? 

We'll only convince our family, friends, and the public at large that what we do is normal and okay if we stop acting like it's a game or a dirty little secret.

But then for some people that's all it is... 

Here endeth the lesson.

1/23/2009 10:10:49 PM
Good Lord! What is the world coming to?

Every fat fuck and their corpulant cousin can have their pics of their flabby bits hanging out of not enough rubber, but you can't have a tastefully cropped (read 'hint of muff', not 'danglies on show'), B&W, artistic, frontal shot because it has "genital nudity".
 
Bullshit. Nudity - yes. Genitals - no.

Trust me, I've seen more dangly-bits in my professional capacity than most people have in their lives, therefore I can tell the bloody difference between "gentials" and "not-genitals"!

Never thought I'd see such rank prudery on a so-called BSDM site. Oh, hang on. It's in the US - a country that gets arsey about topless sunbathing and breast-feeding...

1/1/2009 8:16:20 AM
Brethren, please be seated.

The New Year is traditionally a time of not only copious consumption of alcohol, but also a time to pause and reflect. When I look around you, my fellow perverts, I am reminded of a recent incident in my "vanilla" life.

Being the dutiful Catholic son that I am, I had been up North visiting my ageing parents for Christmas and was returning home on the coach. I was delighted to find that there were a number of empty seats at the rear of the vehicle. It was only when I noticed the drunk that I understood why.

I am sure we have all encountered an intoxicated gentleman before now. This one was was fairly typical of the breed. What my dear South African ex would have called "a waste of a white skin". From his behaviour I would not have been surprised if he had been a squaddie. However, squaddies generally only grow balls when they are in a group - after all, that is the reason they joined the forces in the first place. No, this gentleman (and I use the term in its loosest sense) was alone.

Now, I am aware that I have something of reputation, albeit erroneously. I do not seek out confrontation. Personally, I'd rather have the triumvirate of schoolgirls, sodomy, and cigars over an argument any day of the week. That said, I am also extremely stubborn and have greatly diminished sense of self-preservation. None of which makes me terribly easy to live with, but I digress.

After attempting to cajole me into removing my headphones by throwing chewing gum at me, the drunk came and sat next to me. I removed my headphones. "Where are you from?" he asked. I very quietly and politely told him that was none of his damn business, and that he should return to his own seat as I had no wish to talk to him. The drunk became most upset that I did not wish to be his new friend. He proceeded to inform me that he was something of a hard-man, and that he could knock me flat with a single punch. 

The drunk then offered to trade five of my punches for a single ox-felling blow of his. I declined, and repeated my earlier request. Lacking a suitable counter he elected to grapple with me. At this point my patience and seasonal good will had been eroded. I raised my voice to its usual quarterdeck volume, made a general request for someone to alert the driver, and I instructed the drunk to return to his seat and "settle the fuck down!". He leapt back to his seat like he had been stung.

"Where were your fellow passengers?" I hear you cry. I will tell you. My fellow passengers were all staring straight ahead. The driver did nothing. Nobody else wanted to get involved. No change there then - nobody ever does. Once my antagonist was back in his seat he regained some of his nerve. He then told me that I had ten seconds to stop looking at him or there would be "trouble".

Those of you who know me better will have guessed what happened next. One of us counted down from ten whilst muttering vague threats about death and stabbing, while the other held his gaze and smiled. At zero I was informed that I had made life very difficult for myself, and that I would be dead once I had got off the bus. I pointed out that it was rather unwise to make such threats surrounded by witnesses and settled back to enjoy my journey.

As the bus pulled into Edinburgh the drunk began to work himself up. He began to mutter threats under his breath and thump the seat in front. In short, I was prepared for a proper confrontation at the bus station. As we get nearer, he suddenly got up and lurched down the bus. He sat near the driver. We stopped and the door opened. He was off that bus like a rat out of a trap. I left at my leisure and ambled through the bus station, keeping a weather eye open. I actually caught his eye as I left. He was on the other side of the road having a smoke. I smiled. He did nothing. I was not hugely surprised.

Now, I have worked with a number of genuine hard men over the years. As I refused to be intimidated by them, I was damned if Jack White's fat and anaemic brother was going to scare me off. I don't particularly blame him. He was drunk. I do however blame my fellow passengers. Drunks, like bad children and our more violent ethnic cousins, are only as obnoxious as they think they can get away with. It doesn't not require a lot of shouting or noise, it merely requires someone to stand up to them. Obviously no-one had stood up to this gentleman so he thought - no, he knew - that he could get away with it.

So, 'what has this incident to do with BDSM?' you may ask. In many ways our little community is like a speculum mundi - a mirror of the outside world. Firstly it is full of cowards, many of whom are also bullies. Secondly - and perhaps more importantly -  we should remember those among us who make the most noise about their capabilities are not necessarily going to be willing to put their money where their mouth is.

Here endeth the lesson.

12/28/2008 1:58:45 PM
And whilst I am on the Story of O and sound-proofing. Now, what sort of people know anything about soundproofing a room? Yes, musicians. Or rather "musicians". Suddenly makes it a lot less glamorous..

"A'right O, meet ma bassist. This is ma bro, Stevie. Stevie an' me now owns you. First you'll be sitting here and watching us smoke a cone or two and play Tekken all night. Then you have to go to the garage for munchies - but without your knickers!

Nah, never mind yer safeword. Do you have a car? Good, me and Stevie will humilate you by getting you to drive us to gigs where we will flirt drunkenly with skinny skanky jailbait. But that's a'right cos I got this nickel-plated ring out of a cracker to show that I own you. And seeing as I own you can I lend £100 off of you? Just 'til we get gigs.

Oh, and Big Kenny learnt how to tattoo in the jail so we'll get him to tattoo "WHOAR" on yer arm... Oi, none of your backchat, slave. It's spelled how I say it's spelled!"


And this differs from a GF *how*?? :P

12/28/2008 1:09:09 PM

Why do people insist on basing their semi-literate wank-fantasies on everyone's second-favourite, Garlic-munching, tuppenny scribbler, Pauline "Continental Armpits" Regae??

Some attempt to turn her into the Delia Smith of the cook-by-numbers pervo brigade?

Hands up if you have actually read the damn book? Keep 'em up if you finished it. I haven't. Damn tedious, and ...
"more about the fucking wall hangings than any kind of interaction between the principal characters"
... as someone recently observed. Cork, for soundproofing, if memory serves.


11/11/2008 10:46:49 AM
As a tribute to those many Spinal Tap moments that occured in my younger days:

"You put a *greased naked woman* on all fours with a dog collar around her neck, and a leash, and a man's arm extended out up to here, holding onto the leash, and pushing a black glove in her face to sniff it. You don't find that offensive? You don't find that sexist?"


Nope.

And neither is this:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=El8m8F7Cu1s

11/10/2008 1:46:53 PM
Back after a mysterious loss of profile. Obviously *nobody* would be so underhand as to go behind my back, so I am thinking it was a Gremlin in the works. I also believe in Santa...

If I haven't replied in my absence then just mail me again.

Ta. SW

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 Age: 44
 Marietta, Pennsylvania