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The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Hetero Male Dominant, 43,  San Diego, California
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Last Online:


 Dominant Male

 San Diego 


 5' 10"






Rules are great things. They keep you safe, they build societies, they build communities, they do wonderful things. And damn theyre fun to break once you understand why theyre there and exactly what your breaking them means.

Im not for everyone. Im not for most people. Hell, I shouldnt be for many people at all. I wish the very best to those who are, who work so hard to be all the safe things to all those seeking fun but reassuring experiences its just that theyre not me. Im the one whos there for those few whove tried that and want something a little scarier, dirtier, rougher, nastier, more raw.

I am going to hurt you, torment you and make you cry, scream and beg. Then Im going to curl my hands through your hair, pull your tear filled eyes up towards mine, and inspire you to beg for more. Im going to ify you, humiliate you, degrade you, reduce you to nothing, then watch you cum all the harder because of it. I will dress you in far too little and send you out, strip you down and expose you to others as the wanton girl youve always wanted someone to set free. Displease me, Ill show not the slightest bit of mercy in punishing you, earn my favor and Ill let you curl up at my boots, kissing them. And, every step of the way, youll know I know exactly what Im doing this isnt the mindless abuse of an idiot with keys to the candy store, this is someone who knows every little nuance of what theyre doing and is reveling in it.

I absolutely honor a safeword One of them. Ask me to let you go and Ill honor it straight away. Until then though, I am certainly not one of those dominants who is going to weakly let you take over the scene by calling red one moment, green the next, until you get things your way. Sign up to be used you will be. Ask to leave, you may. If thats not for you, thats fine Move along, there are plenty of gentler, fluffier guys out there.

Like I said, Im not for everyone. Not even close. But, if youre looking for that relationship of intelligent, considered inequality, as opposed to that nice safe play BDSM, now you know that persons out there. And, knowing Im out here, if that is what youre looking for Take a deep breath, then send me an email.


Looking for something to say as an opener, beyond the usual, Damn, that left me panting!?

Im pretty heavily traveled raised in England (yes, with an English accent), stayed with a Russian family, a New Zealand family, traveled all over Europe, covered all contiguous 48 states on a motorcycle and Ive been to the majority of US National Parks.

Music is huge with me pretty much anything appeals so long as its good and doesnt feel contrived (sorry fake twangs and singing about bitches, hos and bling). To give you an idea of breadth, live, Ive seen everyone from Massive Attack and Portishead to Rob Zombie Oasis to Paul Simon Starsailor, The Music, Kasabian and Hard Fi to Metallica The Foo Fighters to The Beautiful South Fitz The Tantrums to the Silversun Pickups.

Then theres the obvious guitar playing from the pictures plus a major thing for photography landscape and model, specifically.

What is a guy with a professed love of darker aspect of using women and a fucked up clown picture doing talking about creating things, capturing beauty and pouring ones soul out? Well, perhaps theres an answer in there about being able to have far more fun breaking the rules if youre smart enough to understand them first. Any idiot can hit a woman, declare, Kneel, youre my bitch now. (often with more typos) to a total stranger. Theyll even get their rocks off with the few newbies that respond. Id rather build a foundation of knowing what Im doing first, then break it all in creative ways that use that understanding. Is it ever really violation if you dont deeply understand what it is youre violating?

Or, of course, you can stick with the Damn, that left me panting!

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Journal Entries:
12/18/2016 8:52:35 PM
I was just joking with someone about how they're great at spotting fakes and wannabes... and they're talking to me.

But that prompted the thought, how would I claim to be anything different?

Is it like Socrates and wisdom? Anyone who claims wisdom clearly doesn't have the wisdom to spot their lack of it.

Maybe by protesting not being a fake, one's already lost?

Then the day I've had came back to mind.

You see I just buried someone who served me a decade ago. Even though we had parted, I was there for her subsequent collaring. I know and like the man. I was there at her bedside when my now simply friend was dying. I was there when they induced unconsciousness. And, at the service, I helped carry the coffin. I helped her take the last steps she'll ever take in this world, once she no longer could.

I may not be the greatest dominant. I've long since got far too old and tired to try fighting for that title. But I am someone who, despite the passage of time, despite moving on, was there until quite literally the very last.

That'll do for my own definition.

7/26/2016 6:47:53 PM
There are no fake doms, no fake subs on this site!

It seems like every third profile goes on about how many fakes there are.

Here's a thought: They're not my ideal for a dom or a sub. They're not what find interesting, cool or attractive.

But just because they're not my definition, that doesn't make them fake.

There's no central standards body that defines what a dom or a sub is. There's no official definition that one must meet. Failing to meet a definition that doesn't exist can't make you a fake.

Sure, there's my personal preferences, the things I enjoy, the things that scream dom or sub to me. But any time I start telling people that failing to fit my demands makes other fake... all I'm really doing is screaming how entitled I feel I am. (Which may be hot to some people, so, I guess, that's a hot form of dominance to some too *jk*).

OK, I'll make an exception for the outright scammers who're not simply not other people's definitions but are actively pretending to be something so they can get your credit card number. There are quite a few of those fakes. But, beyond that... The scene's big. It's got room for everyone. So long as someone enjoys being something, who am I to call it fake?

3/7/2016 11:30:59 PM
No, despite a flawed conclusion from the Washington Post, a US District Court HAS NOT concluded that you have no protected right to consensual BDSM.

If you dig your way through the whole judgment...

Yes, there's a scary sounding phrase:

Thus, as in Cruzan and Glucksberg, a legislative restriction on BDSM activity is justifiable by reference to the state’s interest in the protection of vulnerable persons.

Which the WP latched onto and decided they'd ruled consensual BDSM is not protected.

Except there's a much more important part of the judgment, earlier:

Over the course of that conversation, Roe asked plaintiff "why [he] never stopped when [she] used the safeword," to which plaintiff replied that he, "felt like [she] could handle it."

The court didn't find that BDSM is not protected.

They found that the state is not blocked from prosecuting sexual assault cases, where consent was clearly withdrawn by use of a pre-arranged safeword, simply because the entitled douchebag of a rapist declared, "But BDSM!"

Not least of all because virtually any commonly accepted definition of BDSM is short hand for consensual BDSM. You may have consensual non-consent, you may have consensual play up to a safeword, you may consensually not have a safeword. But IF you have both agreed to a safeword and it's used, consent is withdrawn. Now, sorry, not BDSM, rape. The state's allowed to prosecute that, however sweet you think you look in chaps.

You're still entitled to consensual sexual expression without harrassment by the state. But once it stops being consensual, you can claim BDSM, Gor, religion, Hogwarts or being a member of the Unseen University, you're still committing an assault and they're still allowed to prosecute.

1/4/2016 11:47:04 PM
Having just been outwitted by a blanket, I renounce all claims to dominance. In my defense, it was a very tricky, very twisted up blanket.

11/12/2015 6:50:48 PM
Dominant (noun)
A person who dominates.

Dominate (verb)
The act of dominating.

Dominate (noun)
A person with poor education and poorer command of the English language.

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