nevanna on Collarspace


	nevangelin		nevandrew


	Back to List			Send Message		Details

	Friends:


	bondagemale

	TahoeSadist

	Punaniteamer38



	i am currently not seeking a Master though am willing to enjoy discussions as friends. i do prefer to keep all contact here on cm for a while before taking it to other messangers or phone calls. my yahoo is my primary email address so i do not give it out until i know a person better please don't ask for it because i will not give it. protecting my personal info is something i do because i have learned my lessons in this lifestyle well. i also am not interested in play dates but am searching for a special Master who is suited to me for LTR. i am relocatable under certain circumstances as i have a roommate who would be coming with me where i go. he is lifestyle but he is not involved in the equation other then just the fact that he will be following me. i am looking for friends in the lifestyle to discuss mutual interests. to teach and to learn about different ways of doing things. to help others find the joy in the lifestyle that i has learned and to share my feelings about what is required to live in this lifestyle with a whole heart. i feel that it takes strength to be a good dominant as well as a good submissive/slave. and to me strength is not just in who is dominant or submissive but also in how well they react when it comes to taking care of themselves as well as each other. especially when it comes down to whether or not they let the other be the strong one on occasion when they need it. a good lifestyle relationship to me is a symbiotic one. they complete the other. many disagree with my idea of strength but over the years i has learned that strength is not just about the ability to be someone who stands on their own but also in the ability to rely on someone else. to give as much as to take. another definition that is bandied about back and forth is the idea of a "true" or "real", or even as simple as "good", Dom/sub/slave. as with strength ones definition is very different. people always say they are a true or real of the side they prefer but i believe that with all lifestyle each person decides who they think are true or real. many neglect to see that each person is only true or real to themselves or to their definition of those words. what is true to one person is not the same to another. these definitions are definitely in the eye of the beholder just like the thought of beauty is. i have also spent alot of time in Gor which is my preference as i find that i is happiest in the slave role. i have come to described myself as a Top by training a sub by nature and a slave by desire but i have always had trouble getting away from the training part. to display how to do things while taking into account things like disabilities and how they relate to the lifestyle. i have an illness that puts some major restraints on the play styles and how the body reacts to the different stimuluses that are required to do the scenes in the lifestyle that alot like including myself. would gladly share knowledge on how to deal with things like this. i actually prefer poly relationships but can handle open ones as well as long as a few safety guidelines are in place. i know that i will never be able to be all that my Owner requires and have accepted that. so i does not judge if others are brought into the mix. but i is not into swinging either in todays world i see it as more a safety issue then anything else my desire to serve is very strong but my desire to be not be used is equally strong. i have learned over the past oh almost 14 years that many people online are after the ones who are easy to submit or who can trust really easily which is not me. most of those are not into deep submission but rather just the pretense of it which is also not me. i am really not into cyber sex. if a relationship develops then i may do it but until then no hngs please. i also want to state that i do not play with people who are married or in a serious relationship unless the other person is in the know and approves of it. i will not break up other peoples relationships just as i would not like it if someone broke up mine. do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

5/19/2014 10:16:20 AM

limits. over the few years i have been here on cm or even in my time in the lifestyle there have been comments that i should not have limits . well that is a lot of poppycock. guys and girls having limits is going to happen. being a slave, sub or even a Dominant it doesnt mean that Wwe are not human. i hope Wwho ever reads this takes a time and considers a few things. the human psyche is built over the years of Ttheir life. Yyou will develop things over those years that will be stuff Yyou like and dont like. there will also be things that develop into triggers. for me one of the biggest ones are belts. these triggers tends to lead to blackouts or even just pull Yyou straight out of subspace. it can also cause major issues between Yyou and Yyour Ppartner. consider this how would Yyou feel if Yyou told Yyour partner there was something Yyou cant tolerate and Tthey did it anyway. being human it starts turning into resentment and can easily destroy the relationship. there are not only emotional and mental limits but also physical limits. those tend to stem from Yyour physical health. some people can tolerate and even enjoy heavier amounts of pain others cant. just as some Dominants like dishing out higher or lower amounts of pain. sometimes Yyou cant do things because of Yyour health. all of this is just being human. all of it takes alot of honesty not just with Yyour partner but also Yyourself. truthfully everytime i see someone say they dont have limits i figure they were lying to someone or that they were strictly online because it just isnt realistic. it is ok to have limits. this lifestyle is built to have a wide variety of kinks. there are sadists and there are mascochists all in varying degrees. each level has a home here. the only time that there is a problem with having a hard core sadist and a sensation sub is when Tthey are in a relationship with each Oother. Eeveryone has needs and when they are not fulfilled somehow it can build into resentment and resentment destroys relationships. it is just how the human mind works. just a few words for thought

6/25/2011 11:35:32 AM

trust. what does it mean and how easy is it to build? for some trust is very easy to give but in this lifestyle the easy trust is actually a problem. this lifestyle can be very dangerous if you don't pay attention to the safety concerns. the moniker for the lifestyle is Safe, Sane and Consentual. those words like most things in the lifestyle vary depending on the persons perpective of life and what they are seeking but some things need to be followed no matter how you see them. it can never be forgotten on either side that you are placing your life in someone elses hands. that takes a deep trust and that does not come at a minutes notice. not if it is something that is going to last longer then a session or two. full submission comes from within the heart and that requires alot of trust. and full trust takes time to build.

6/22/2011 6:31:50 AM

what is in a title? how much do people think about what they classify themselves as? how far do they grow from where they started this road of exploring the lifestyle that we have all grown to love? can we display the things we learned in that exploration with a single word? these are things i am kind of pondering today. i have spent almost 14 years in this lifestyle and have grown tremendously both in knowledge but more importantly in knowledge of myself. can a person ignore the training that life has given them and still remain true to themselves even if they do not wish for what life has trained them to do? classifications do not tell the whole story. you can not tell the whole heart or even the experiences that a person has had simply in their classification. but how do people perceive you if all they look at is the title. the truth is they cant but perceptions are always used long before they get to know you. the time i have spend in this lifestyle i ran the gamat as i learned about myself. i claim switch simply because i know in my heart that while i do not desire in any way shape or form to top anyone but i also can not ignore the fact that i was trained from early on to be a dominant. ignoring my past and ignoring that part of me would be disrespecting myself. the heart though is very different from training. and that is where serving others comes from. think about these questions and you might find that you have made the same generalizations about people as well as made some of the same generalizations about yourself.

blessed be

6/19/2011 7:01:24 PM

greetings everyone, she was checking out some of the profiles and saw one that really speaks to her own beliefs. makes her wonder how many think that way in real life. but she wants to thank those that write the way that they do because it gives her hope that there are those who really understand this lifestyle in more then just a play sense but really what it means to have a deep relationship that revolves around the lifestyle. many seem to think that it is all about the playing, whether it be a public scene or a private one. how many think about how connected the Dominant and the submissive have to be on a mental stage. the lifestyle to her is more about the mental aspects because without those the scenes do not really go all that deep beyond the momentary satisfaction of sub space and the dominant enjoying knowing that they were able to play their partner into that subspace. the glow may stay for a little while but it always goes away leaving the cravings still very much apparent. whereas when it is on a mental stage the glow lasts alot longer because when they click in that way it is an ongoing things instead of just when a scene is under way. she questions how many see this and believe this in their hearts.

6/4/2011 11:16:11 PM

greetings everyone, i found out tonight that my profile had erronously had me down as male when i am female. i think in my profile i stated pretty much everything but i do want to add something. i am not into major pain either enduring or inflicting on anyone else. with the illness i have pain is really a bad thing as i have to deal with it on a daily basis so seeing it happen to someone else really doesn't suit me.

5/18/2011 2:05:27 PM

i was surfing the web and i came across this site. curious to see how it compares to some of the others i have found over the years. so far all i have found are the few and far between people who actually believe in the lifestyle and the others are just ones who want to jack of with who ever can write the best. so eventually i always move on never finding what i want and need. taking long breaks in between. so it is time to try again and we shall see how things go