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bobbyo123
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Daygon
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| I have been a way a while educating myself learning a very brutal lifestyle. I however know now that this girl is a submissive, not a slave.
This girl does not wish to be beaten everyday, nor does she wish to be used by many. This girl has lived a gorean life, not a pleasant experience, but it has shown me who I am.
This girl is a submissive, likes to turn over control, given limited options, likes to be respected and speak when she wants (most of the time) I like to think and I enjoy conversation. I also know I like to stand beside a man, but when the time comes I also know to kneel at his feet giving him everything he may desire.
I am a slight sexual sadist, punishment turns me on and excites me. To cower is not in my nature, I stand tall holding my head up very proud of who I am.
This girl is a submissive, her lost Master's reach, pleasure, sight, and feet. For the right Master this girl will anticipate every need, going steadfastly into darkness at his guiding hand.
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I am strong enought to realize that I am not ready for a commitment at this moment..I need a slow and understanding pace. My priorities are not screwed up but family must reign first... therfore I am just seeking out people who can chat and be friendly. I do not want to have an online or realtime relationship that would just lead to a disappointment on both ends. please understand. I need to have it this way at this time. and I do say this with disappointment in my voice and heart. |
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Today well yesterday now was crazy exciting and well uncomfortable all rolled up into one.
it definitly was a Friday the 13th and now I just want to sleep. The day is over and another dissapointment to boot...I will be thinking fondly of Friday am but will try to forget about the pm |
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Today was tiring, had many things on my mind but really nothing to good to put in here. I am anticipating tomorrow, knowing it will be a whole new day in the life of me. Even though I am eager to embrace tomorrow a part of me is afraid. I am afraid I will be noticed or found out. The worst of it would be if the big man in the robe were to know. |
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Today is going much better, still have the torture of reality and work, but still can think.
I have been thinking alot today even when I am not supposed to be wandering in my mind.
(Makes it a little better for me sometimes) I know it is wrong but I just can not help it. |
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Today I am so busy, do not have time to think. My job is beating me to a pulp and I can not escape it. My mind is not my own today. |
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Today,I second guess myself... my family life stands so prominent over me, I do not know how to give myself the power to do as I want and not as they do. I am afraid that my family obligations will hinder my quest, I feel so disappointed in myself, and absolutely horrible about broken promises. I know he is not happy, nor am I.
Left with this feeling of absolute disappointment... |
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I have met some one who will help me on my journey to finding my place. |
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Today I am really nervous, I do not know why this is what I wanted. I guess I am nervous that I will mess up. I do not want to mess up.
The shock of actually taking this step which should be just that a, step, feels instintaneously like a huge leap out of a flailing airplane. Needs to be done but a freaky feeling none the less.
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| Age: 26 |
| San Jose, SF,
California |
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