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It's been a long time since I've put anything here
It's so so strict now
And she has me doing things I could never imagine before |
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My life is that of a Pathetic failure forever now |
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I've been too ashamed to write anything here for a while ; I now have to wear a CB all the time and keep myself shaved |
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I am told that I am to have a new tattoo
One that she will choose |
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One of my lowest nights. I wasn't allowed to clean up all night |
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I made a mess tonight and can't do anything about it until the morning |
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I really messed up last week, and now I'm paying for it
I'm not allowed out except to go to work and I have to wear nothing whenever I'm at home
I'm so so sorry.
And so useless |
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She intends making sure I mess myself |
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Now She calls me "cum-eater" as she's made me lick up my cum and cum from two other men. But they are real men, unlike me. I'm just a worthless specimen |
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She wont touch my maggot this weekend because i am so dirty as i messed twice this week
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I know she will put my maggot in chastity next weekend.
I'm scared |
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I have to stay in my mess all night |
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I'm a dirty disgusting wimp |
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My worse nightmare came true today
there is no going back now
not at all
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I have sunk to an all time low
I disobeyed and had to put my nappy on
Then I needed to use the loo
She wouldn't let me
I am now in a dirty nappy
I am so ashamed |
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I never learn that I shouldn't try to hide my pathetic submissive nature
it is me, it is what I am, what I have always been and that I will always be |
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I will never learn that She knows what is best for me |
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when will I learn that when I misbehave it makes things so much worse for me |
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Somehow I just seem to make things worse for myself each day |
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Another day feeling pathetic and totally useless |
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I was in my pyjamas before 7pm tonight as I'm not allowed any sort of social life. She's destroyed my self confidence totally. I know I'll never meet another woman. Ever. |
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Will I ever be with another woman; or be ever allowed to be ? |
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from now on I know that I have no option but to do as I am told to do; nothing will ever be the same again |
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