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Morticia001

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Morticia001 - photo 10

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Friends:
hardworkingdomBobKing

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Hi ya'll.
* I spose I should make it clear, I am not actively seeking anything. I am open to friends tho and good conversation is ALWAYS welcome.*

* I am a submissive. I am single and unowned. I am not new. I know who I am and what I am and I know my worth. I will NOT be bullied or pushed or coerced into playing with or accepting a Dominant. There are some seriously pushy and quite frankly childish men on here claiming to be Dominant. Do not come to me with disrespect or you will get it back in abundance. *

I'm Morticia.
I am a 42 yr old submissive/alpha female/w middle tendencies and recently released.
Been in the L/s about 13-14 yrs now even tho I have only recently began stepping out in to the community.
I'm a mom of two amazing bio kids and two equally amazing step kids (all teens).
I'm fat....not desperate. Yes, my name really is Morticia. I do not own a car. I'm pretty lame. I AM a BBW. If that's not ok with you then move along please.
I'm generally a very nice person and I'm a bit on the shy side. My favorite time of year is Halloween. I love horror movies and being scared. I have a clinical fear of the walking dead (zombies in general, not the show. LOVE the show. lol). I'm an incorrigible flirt. I'm a healthy mix of rocker, nerd, macabre, weirdo and white trash redneck.
I'm nice. Usually.
Anything else you wanna know, Just ask. I am an open book.

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6/26/2017 12:17:32 AM

So first, let me explain a bit.

Things with my Former Daddy and I officially ended about 2 months ago tho for Him they were over for at LEAST 6 months or more. I really don't know. Things did not end well. He lied to me and led me on the entire time until I finally broke it off myself. I am very hurt and very angry. I won't go into details.

Before things ended, it was in December since I had had ANY intimate contact or play. So naturally I was in a state of severe neglect physically. I recognized early on that I was experiencing "sub frenzy". I had never experienced this before so after lots of reading and questioning and research, I decided that getting out into my local community and meeting others in the L/s would be the best course to finding the release and re-centering that I needed in a safe, sane and healthy manner. (Super big girl decision there. With my mental issues, impulse control has never been my strong suite)

My search led to munches and dungeon play parties where I met several wonderful people and had a chance to tell my story and get references to people that might be able to help me. Now, I should point out that I was fully aware of what I wanted to achieve and what I thought might be the best way to do that. I decided a good, intense "therapy spanking" was what I needed.

Enter Mr. Bob and His 2 beautiful ladies. A super awesome Dom that was recommended to me thru Mr. Michael who runs the local munches and play parties in my area. After speaking with Him personally and explaining my situation, He was more than happy to assist.

I was of course super nervous. No one had ever spanked me aside from my former Daddy. And that was almost always sexual in nature. This was not meant for sexual feelings nor actual physical enjoyment. I needed this. I am a self harmer. I have been since i was maybe 12. I have always used pain for emotional relief but in a bad way.

I knew there would be a lot of emotions and thoughts going thru my head during and i KNEW there would be tears. I also knew my aftercare would not be the comforting safe arms of or listening to the rhythmic beat of my former Daddys heart.

It was SUPER emotional. I was angry. Angry that this had to come from someone other than my former Daddy. I was sad. Sad that it was not my former Daddy giving me the relief I so desperately needed from the emotional position that He put me in. There were a LOT of tears. But I knew this would happen.

I tried very hard to simply relax and focus on the music and the sensations my body was experiencing. It didn't quite work as I had hoped but I was able to get there a time or two at least. The non physical psychological aftercare was exactly what I needed at that time and it was perfect.

At the end of it all, It was a very good experience. I do feel some better. I am pretty sure that I will need at least 2-3 more sessions to get to where I need to be on this journey but at least i'm on my way.


6/26/2017 12:16:19 AM

Me Now

6-4-17

Wow...where to begin?

So I guess I should start by saying that my profile tends to reflect what I am feeling at the time and in no way should be used to "get to know me". If you want to learn about me, talk to me.

I am recently released by my one and only Dominant/Daddy. While I have been in the L/s for quite a while, I never found anyone suited to my wants and needs as a submissive nor did I ever come across anyone I felt I could trust to that degree. That all changed in late 2014. I met an amazing man who just struck something different in me. He found me in a time when I wasn't very nice, or hopeful, or sane, and certainly not trusting. I was mean. I was rude. I was hurt and afraid. But, He persisted. And as I got to know more about Him, it seemed we had tons in common. I made Him work for it tho. lol. I think it took Him three months or more to get my phone number. After a while of Him STILL not acting like most of the men I come across, I decided to meet Him. My first thought? Such beautiful eyes. A blue like I had never seen before. But more than that, there was a kindness there. An intensity too. I remember I was so nervous. I was babbling about everything and nothing. He was relatively quiet. Just kind of watching me. He left and I remember thinking to myself "wow. I really wanna know what His lips feel like on mine. I hope He's a good kisser". He messaged me when He made it home and told me He really wanted to kiss me while He was there. (it's a rule of mine. I don't kiss on the first date or when meeting someone for the first time.) He didn't tell me my tits looked great in person, or that He really wanted to fuck me, or anything I was used to. I found that sweet. I told about my cam work. I told Him about my videos. I invited Him to join my adult natured Facebook group full of nude pics of myself and I waited. Surely He would prove Himself to be just like the rest. It didn't happen. I was a bit confused. Maybe He wasn't really that into me.
Fast forward to today. It's been a bit over two weeks since things technically ended. I am trying my absolute best to get things back to "normal". For most outward appearances, it would seem that this has not affected me as hard or as deeply as some of the events in my past. Never judge a book by it's cover. There are feelings inside of me that I am having a hard time even putting words to. To say that He was/is an amazing man, just isn't enough. It was never my intention to fall for this man. But looking back on things, how could I not? He is kind and sweet and caring and quite frankly I don't even have the words to accurately describe Him with any justice. Don't get me wrong. He is NOT perfect by any means. That's just silly. No one is perfect. But He is unlike any man I have ever met before. He found me at one of the lowest points in my life and gained my trust and my submission. Wholly and fully. No one on this Earth has ever had as much of me. There is NOTHING about me He doesn't know. Maybe it's just me, but the chemistry between us is something I have never experienced before in my life and is something I have serious doubts about ever coming across again in this lifetime. The feelings I experience when thinking of "us" go so far beyond the word "love" that the very notion seems silly and pale by comparison. He was everything I was told to look for growing up. Everything I thought simply did not exist in todays world anymore.
Now don't go thinking this is everything. It certainly isn't. This is only MY view(and only a snippet in all honesty). I'm sure His is far less. And that's ok. But this is where I am today. Trying to move on as best I can without falling apart. Trying to continue a close friendship that I honestly fear has been damaged beyond anything I can do to repair it and will definitely be strained at best.
I have been around here for quite a long time but I never took into consideration or really paid attention to the depth nor the cost of giving all of you to someone else. I can't honestly say that I have another one of those left in me.
So, there you have it. This is me now. Where I go from here, who knows? But life keeps a chuggin along and so do I.


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SadoSanctified
 
 Age: 24
 Colorado springs, Colorado