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Recent events have moved me to St Louis while my sub/wife remains in Chicago.   We hav
Dom/Sub Couple, 56/62,  St. Louis/Chicago, Missouri







Last Online:


 Dom/Sub Couple

 St. Louis/Chicago 




Primary Partner:









 6' 7"

 220 lbs



Secondary Partner:










 5' 7"



Actively Seeking:

Submissive Female

A Poly Household

Recent events have moved me to St Louis while my sub/wife remains in Chicago.


We have been living the lifestyle 24/7 for nearly twenty years.  We are both teachers with our MFAs in theatre.  We are active theatre and movie goers.  We are decidedly laid-back in our behaviors and low maintenance in our lifestyle choices.  We share a strong sense of humor and laugh a lot.



We have many interests outside of the lifestyle but operate from a clear understanding and devotion to the lifestyle.  We enjoy observing the rules and protocols of the lifestyle in all aspects of our lives in private as well as public.  

We are looking for a female submissive for session, weekend, and longterm training and relationship.  Long distance is not a problem for us and have found our best relationships in the distance.  In the long term, we are looking for a fem sub/slave to take with us on our travels inside as well as outside of the country.


You should possess a strong desire to learn and be trained by a master and  submit to the right master.  What we are not looking for is a brat or a power bottom.  If you are passionate about learning more and that is, above all else, to feel the control of a calm, yet commanding master, then you may be the right one for training with me.


The trained slave/submissive is what’s important to me; the details of how we get to that point are negotiable.  I have employed varied techniques over the years and am flexible in what I use to achieve the desired outcome.  Ultimately, the trained submissive is one who understands her place both in the bedroom as well as out in public.  She is desirous, above all else, to serve her master in any way that he requires her to serve.  One limitation that I do observe is that I do not share my trainees with others during a session.   I am willing to train for others but I am not willing to share subs during sessions.


You will find me respectful and honest in our communications.  Do not expect me to try and dominate you without clear communication and understanding.  Domination, just like submission or enslavement, must begin with the mind and the trust that comes from that.  I want you to feel confident that you will be safe and respected.  I must be confident that training by me is what you want and that you are willing to commit to the session, the weekend, or the trip as my property.  Our travels have taken us to many parts of the world with more adventures to come.


You may expect that your limitations and expectations will be respected.  

We are simply looking for someone who is clear in her desires and can carry on a conversation outside of the dungeon.


P.S.  In a cruel twist of irony, our home is dominated by two dogs so you must be okay with animals.

P.S.S.  If you have read this far, I thank you.  I have noticed that many perspective trainees have expectations of me immediately dominating them to show how I would treat them.  That's simply not my approach. 
If you find us acceptable then as we get to know one another, I will be considerate and attentive.  It is my experience that the seduction of the mind is the first step in winning the trust of a slave who is looking for consideration.  Trust and communication are the two most important ingredient sin building a relationship of this kind.

As boundaries and limitations are shared, my dominance will become more pronounced much like a collar that tightens around the neck.  I will be happy to share my thoughts and desires as they pertain to you as we get to know one another.


We are a real time couple and am looking for someone who understands the lifestyle or is looking to learn more about the lifestyle BUT has a sense of humor and doesn’t take herself sooooooo seriously that it inhibits the relationship’s development.


I look forward to hearing from you.

Journal Entries:
9/3/2017 3:05:27 PM
I was recently challenged by a slave with whom I was exchanging emails to update my journey through the lifestyle.  She had read my journals, which had ended in 2010, (my how time flies) and was asking me to account for myself and my thoughts or updates to those thoughts that I'd had since then.

I've given that request several days of thought and this is the resulting journal.

The word that I choose to summarize my view of my experiences and those I've met with, trained, and lost is simply this: rigidity.  In 2010 I was operating under the umbrella of thought that I had it figured out for myself.  I was going to find someone who would meet the criteria that I had laid out in my profile and journals and let it speak for itself.  I believed that those who had a similar mindset would find me, much like the beacon in the night, and we would join in glorious union of a LTR.

Somewhere between there and here I made a discovery: that, if in fact, I was in search of a relationship that was to last, I would have to learn how to compromise.  My epiphany wasn't fully understood until I saw what was happening around me.  In the ensuing seven years, I learned that in order for the relationship to go beyond the initial stages of sexual attraction, that I would have to learn how to accept my trainees for where they were and where they would like to be in the foreseeable future.  This approach to relationship building seemed to be a bizarre thought to many.

The rigidity of "My-Way-Or-the-Highway" became painfully obvious as I chatted with more and more potentials.  Each one had established an "ideal" dom or Master built upon the tattered and yellowed pages of books, text messages, movies, and dreams.  The rigidity of the ideal became somewhat of a wall of protection as well as imprisonment.  It was the very thing that helped them to sleep at night with the phrase, "He'll find me someday," fresh on their lips.

More than the prison of an ideal, often I find the questions and comments I encounter to be much like a minefield.  Traps are set for the unsuspecting prospect to catch them in an idea or approach that then blows up in their face and allows us to say, "Wannabe!"  BOOM!

I wish that I could say this rigidity is limited to the inexperienced but that hasn't been my experience.  I was chatting with a prospect who felt that my use of the words "thank you" should never be used in her presence because she is a slave and slave's are never thanked.  Even though I knew I was stepping into a minefield of heightened expectations and preconceived elevated notions, I had the audacity to message her that I would wait for her online for fifteen minutes, as I felt that the relationship deserved the patience, BOOM!  she was gone.

Ideals, I think, give us guidance and help us find our bearings through much of our lives.  They also help guide our moral compass.  My experiences have given me the wisdom to see that, with just a little effort, that ideal that we've put on a pedestal and lit so carefully will blind us to the reality that it's grown to a point that it becomes unobtainable.

If the relationship is the goal, then we have to be flexible.  Do I have any experience in being a Daddy Dom?  YES.  Do I have any experience with a little who weighs 400 pounds and likes to play at being two and likes to crawl into my lap?  NO   BOOM.

I find it ironic that the rigidity you would normally find in a Master or a dom is just as present in a sub or slave.  Final comment: this is from a text message I received recently from a woman who was petitioning for training but wanted me to know what she expected from me, "I do not believe in the complete enslavement of a trainee.  There will always be a part of me that I keep secreted away from my Owner. I expect to have the right to influence what happens to me."  Here comes the landmine about to blow.....I responded with, "Isn't that more of a sub mentality?"  BOOM!

I am becoming inflexible in that I need flexibility in those I train and an allowance for me as well.  I don't have all of the answers!  I have a lot of experience but those only give me so much insight.  I seek a trainee who will give herself and myself the latitude to be wrong, to get it wrong, and to "not know" the right answer.  If we will be more flexible and allow ourselves the challenge that comes with change and adaptability, I think we will be much more likely to find the One in reality.

I wish all of us well.  Soon I will be sixty and unattractive to all but the most flexible.

11/30/2010 7:02:04 PM

I would like to offer up an idea of a deeper potential bond representation between a Master and his trainee that goes deeper than the simple placement of the collar around a submissives’ neck.  I have often heard from those I chat with, that to accept a collar is an important step in the development of the dynamic.  I have considered, and participated in, that view for many years only to determine that such a position is not one that I share. 

A collar, though an important symbol of a budding relationship is a symbol that is easily removed.  Whether it’s the leather collar of a scene or the necklace that is worn in public, the collar is quickly and easily removed for return shipment without much effort.  I equate the collar more to the ring that is given in high school by the A-string quarterback to his cheerleading sweetheart.  Our little darling immediately ties it on to a piece of pink fuzzy yarn to be then displayed for all others to ogle over when these two agree to go steady.  The sweetheart is often quick to remove this ring when tempers flare or bumps in the road are encountered.  Its meaning is often overrated by those who see such things as carrying depth to their meaning.  Sadly, I see much of what goes on around me as something akin to those days of immature cliques and quick romances. 

Since I have offered the view that a collar is a shallow level of commitment, I feel that I must put forward what a deeper level of commitment is for me.  I have given many a collar when I practiced being a Dom, but when I crossed over to the world of being a Master; I found such offerings to be shallow.  I therefore offer up that, in my opinion and experience, piercings are the real display of a deeper level.  Piercings, much like the engagement ring of the vanilla world, are not easily worn or removed without a degree of financial and emotional pain.  The pain that is incurred physically during the piercing process is a deeper display of a trainee’s commitment to her Master.  There is also the psychological connection that results when a Master pierces the trainee himself.  I would propose that piercings through the nipples and the vaginal lips offer that second deeper level of commitment and training. 

For my final car in my train of logic, I would submit that the deepest level of commitment and the offering that illustrates the completion of a trainee’s journey into ownership by her Master is a brand.  The brand is impossible to remove and illustrates the lifelong commitment to what has been learned by the trainee.  Here again, the level of pain that must be endured during the branding process is a sincere reflection of the level of commitment by the trainee for her owner. 

In my experience, while many believe that they are called to the deeper and darker areas of the lifestyle, very few can lay claim to sticking it out longer than a few months before life gets in the way and interest fades.  When such events occur, the collar is easily returned and the parties part for new challenges.  The relationship that develops between a Master and his trainee is not one of convenience or compartmentalization; both parties have a deeper stake in the relationship that goes beyond the weekend session or the wearing of a collar.  It’s an ownership that goes to the heart of the parties involved and accurately reflects the commitment that is necessary to make it survive the perils of the day-to-day.

4/15/2010 3:11:55 PM
I'm seeing something very interesting in the potentials that I am chatting with, just bear with me on this.

I've concluded that as we are all products of our past, the current self that we present to the world is in a continual state of change as our present becomes our past and we grow with lifes encounters.

What I'm amazed by is that I am able to divide women with whom I chat into two catagories of understanding.  The perceptions of reality that we form are a result of the events of our past, what I find jaw-dropping is that there are those who are so rigid in the resulting perceptions of reality that the world has become a place of black and white expectations and answers.  These are the people who are ruled by their perceptions, and as a speculation, by their past experiences as well.

Then there are those more desirable women who are in control of their perceptions and accept that they are always in a constant state of flux, much like the present experiences of life contribute to who we become as a result.  These women see the colors of what could be rather then being trapped by the perception of what must be.

I think what I'm concluding is that those who know the answers aren't very interesting but those who seek the next experience in whatever form it takes allow for the formation of a relationship with a Master: a Master who may not have been initially what was perceived to fit the mold of the fantasy.

I'm not certain if this is making any sense, I'll rewrite it as I rethink it but it's an interesting theory to check out.

4/4/2010 6:30:39 PM

I've just realized that I've been a part of the CM and CS community of nearly ten years!  In my attempt to remain optimistic about our time here, the people that I’ve chatted with, and some that we’ve met, I’ve developed a rather lengthy perception of how I’m seeing things on this anniversary.


In preparing this, I had to brush aside the “non-connects”: those being the people who either didn’t find us attractive or were clearly looking for someone else or visa versa.  I also had to leave out the ones who were hearing voices in their head or somewhere beneath the nails of their toes.  With those factors as well as a few others left out, I saw something amazing and I called it the “Romance of Reality” syndrome.


The Romance of Reality


Experiences have taught me that too often the inexperienced look to a reality of what a M/s relationship should be through the rhinestone-studded glasses of romance.  Through such glasses, a Master’s voice is that of Barry White and his body is that of a washboard.  The hand that touches the face of a slave is smooth and lightly scented with the musky oil of Brut cologne. 


The phrases uttered in the romantic reality are exactly what needs to be said to moisten the nether lips of the vagina.  The legs part not of their own accord but because they have no choice and the head bows so as to permit the placement of the collar and gripping of the hair.  Nary a word is misspoken.  The commands themselves are utterances that please the ear and titillate the mind.  “Yes, Master” is whispered and genuinely felt as the pulse runs apace and the mouth runs dry.


The day-to-day details of the mundane are never a bothersome factor in this reality.  Once the climax is reached, a slave’s Master fades into the mist as the eyes flutter to sleep.  The morning alarm awakes a glorious memory of “what was” without the odor of a Master’s breath or his need for a repeat performance.


There may be a faint whisper of desire to relinquish control in this romantic reality and the excitement that clings like dew to such an image.  The romantic ideal that someone else pays the bills and haggles with the plumber is a tickling day dream that only comes into the light on CM.  The tedium that accompanies this potential reality is never further away then the DELETE button. 


The mind keeps any potential “REAL” suitors at bay with whispers of “Oh, he’s too tall” or “He isn’t good looking enough.”  “I could never see myself submitting to that kind of a man” only leads to the realization that this site just isn’t working and maybe this slave will never find the right one because all Master’s are wannabes or fakes.   Rejection of a potential is never safer then the DELETE button.  The control that can be exercised through rationale and the power of the checked box followed by the DELETE are empowering. 


The second phase of development begins with the building of power that started with the exercising of the DELETE key.  Now the profile must be fine-tuned to warn all wannabes and fakes that you’re on to them.  Now the slave has real power: the power of the label!  Wannabes and fakes beware, as the profile has now been tuned to reflect the newest sense of empowerment.  Now the mind tells the Romantic Slave that she can identify the fakes by their picture, profile, short response or one-time chat.  And only locals need apply.  If you don’t include a picture, you won’t get a reply.  Oh how sweet this is. 


The slave with such empowerment is now driving 65 on the super highway of understanding and clear that she gets it despite the fact that in reality, everything at that speed is passing in a blur……..without ever realizing that she’s not getting a thing but merely passing up everything (good, bad, or indifferent).  Nothing looks as sweet as understanding and the power of control.  “I’m just not cut out for this.”  “I’m better than any of them.”  “I can do fine without anyone’s control.”  And so the romantic cancels her account as it’s pointless….there are no “real” Masters out there.  Instead she shifts her gaze elsewhere and hears the whispers that convince her she now sees it all.

And then there's the "high" that comes from getting all of those emails.  Now this is the rush of adoration.  When there are so many potentials in your inbox, why settle for one?  How can you choose when there are SOOOO many choices.  YUM!  You may be interested in one today but there are so many more waiting for your attention tomorrow!  YEAH!  It's liberating!  It's what it must have felt like to be popular in high school!  



The Reality of Romance


I’ve found the key to getting it right for the reality of romance is the flexibility.  I have my desires and my needs but I also have the acceptance that I’m not in bed by myself, I have another who has the desires of the lifestyle as well.  It will not be the romantic match that I masturbate to but then my slave won’t disappear into my head when I drift off to sleep either.





9/23/2009 12:39:18 PM


I recently made an adjustment to my search engine specifications to include women 25 to 99.  It was an innocent change; I was getting frustrated by the rejections from those over thirty.   Up until that change, I wasn’t willing to consider anyone under the age of 30.


After several days of reading and considering, a light bulb of a memory went off…….  There was a point around my thirtieth birthday in which I made a life changing discovery.


To explain this “re-memory” I need to recreate the path that got me there.  I realized that the pictures of women from 25 to 30 ARE sexier and ARE more self aware of their sensuality than those of us who have crossed that life’s midpoint line of thirty.  The profiles that they have written are similarly reflective of that attitude.  The readings are filled with confidence, arrogance, and determined goals….in other words, they clearly feel that they have all of the answers to life and what will work for them.  It reads like a closed door to other options. 


I do remember that part in my own life.  I remember considering myself well read….. I mean I’d read Camus (and was justifiably depressed), I’d read Jung, and Pavlov, I’d dreamed of sitting with Ayn Rand and smoking cigarettes long into the night…..and I worked very hard to understand how Anton Chekhov could be considered a comedic playwright……I mean “REALLY….comedic?”  (Don’t worry if you don’t follow all of these references, I’m certain that you get the point)


Then somewhere around thirty, I would even be so bold as to remember it happening on my thirtieth birthday, I made the philosophical breakthrough that I don’t know much about anything.  I would like to give the credit for that epiphany to my own intellectual growth but it was more likely that it came from a George Harrison song or someone of that ilk.   Now the reverberating impact of that song and the growing realization that has pursued me ever since is that I REALLY don’t know anything and I seem to understand less with each passing birthday party at T.G.I.F……  Somewhere in there, I stopped making my life about limitations and regulating everyone to fit my needs and began to see things from a viewpoint of options.  In other words, my pursuits became about options and opportunities instead of boundaries and limitations.   I haven’t seen a possible trainee for her looks or weight in many years, instead I see her for what she could bring to the table that is this lifestyle.


Well poooop!  I think I just need to set my search perimeters up to ONLY look for those who have the wisdom of age to have come to that self-awareness.  I mean, I don’t think that I could tolerate a meal with someone who CLEARLY knows what the world is about and how she is going to change it.  Shhhhhheeeeesh!   Okay, I just realized that I set up a limitation about who has the wisdom and who doesn’t and it would be based on her age. 


Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!  I think I just need more time to consider this……


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