This will mark a first for Me, as I am not ever in the habit of keeping a journal - but there has been something on My mind that I have to get out.
Recently I found Myself involved with an aspiring sub from this site, that was miles above the rest in almost every category. Smart, eager, loyal, obedient and the list goes on - so impressive that I bent My own rules to explore her submission deeper. As with any relationship, there were hiccups and issues along the way - nothing that could not be overcome with logic, reason, and conversation. That was never an issue. I had never been so taken with a sub before, intoxicating - she made Me remember why I love this so much.
Personal tumoil within My own life, and past mistakes ripped Me away from My normal life for a time, much longer than I would have liked. A situation that could have easily turned from turmoil, to tragedy. I was put in a position where there was no choice, and My attention had to be focused on the choices before Me. Everything happened so quickly that I did not keep her apprised of the situation at hand.
I will not kid Myself into thinking that there were absolutely no opportunities to tear Myself away and try to rip off an email while My mind is juggling emotions, but honestly - what I was dealing with was simply more important. There is no other way around it.
Once I returned home, and checked My messages - the first thing that I got to see was that she had already been with another. No concern about My absence, no patience... just simply moved on. The issue that I am finding... is that I cared.
I have no ill will, and I have no hateful feelings - she did what she was best for her - and I honestly hope that she finds something satisfying here, even if it is with another.
I wrote this with the simple intention of getting it off My chest, so that I can move on, and hope that someone else that reads this will possibly learn something from it.
One final note: Regardless of the situation, we both know I deserved better than that.