How Hard Is It being A Master?

How hard? That is a matter of perspective as I believe We have covered before Old Friend.

There are many things about being a Master that are difficult and take a great deal of effort and work..... But BEING a Master... difficulty isn't an issue, it is something you just ARE... the effort is about being the BEST You can be, living up to Your Own expectations, not letting Yourself down. However difficult it maybe to BE a Master, if that is what You are, it is MORE difficult to try and pretend to be something else.

There are many Doms out there who would love to be a Master, they will never achieve it, it isn't who they are. There are many Tops out there who would dearly love to be Doms or Masters but again they never will be, they will only ever wear the mask.

The first stage is finding that honesty and self knowledge, knowing what You are, how You are wired. Separating that reality from what You would LIKE to be, accepting your shadow, dealing with Your demons and baggage. Facing the world squarely and stepping away from IT having control of the value sets by which You live, taking that responsibility actively onto Yourself.

You have to take responsibility for Yourself before You can even begin to think about taking on the responsibility for another. Accept also that You have a lifetime of hard learning ahead, no mater how much you learn there is always more, different slants even on things You have come to know intimately.

You have to accept that You are Human, yet be able to step up into a situation which, to many appears superhuman... to be that fixed point, the polar star in another’s sky, the bedrock upon which their world stands. If another is to look to You for stability and structure, NEED that from You, rely on that from You then regardless of the chaos around You. You must develop the ability to BE the eye of the storm, stable and remain that fixed point.

And that is just the start

Written by a London Based Master ~ Raven (Reproduced with his permission).

My old friend has covered much about the personal aspects of Mastery and especially the Mastery of self. It will be of no surprise that I am in complete agreement with him in all of this. Shall we now take a look at the next stage of actually developing credibility with the local BDSN Community? If you are lucky and have friends amongst the dominants or have been introduced to a couple who are willing to take you under their wing and teach you and even allow you to practice on their own property or due to their excellent reputation. are able to attract one or two sub/slaves who are uncollared but who will offer their bodies for you to practice on, you are indeed lucky. However this will often not be so. You must walk as though on egg shells until you are known. Softly, softly is the motto here. If you are at all bombastic and loud mouthed, you will create a cavern of loneliness and isolation about yourself which could take years to break down. Similarly, if you enter the public local scene identifying with one of the small select (some may even believe you think it to be elite) groups such as Gorean, then you have a harder road to hoe. You will find that what you seek (24/7 TPE slave) is hard to find (scarcer than hens teeth). Again such a group as Goreans are often unpopular and can create fear in the minds of other non Gorean Dominants.

Thus you need to learn about local groups and ease in so that people can get to know you as a person and continue learning as you go. I know many Goreans who in public never admit to being Gorean although were you to ask them they would not hid it. They just do not shout it from the roof tops although anyone who knows Goreans will pick them easily. This I learned from hard personal experience because I am up front.

Another area which the older new masters may find, depending on the local sociological customs, is an older master may find it very hard to snaffle a young girl of between 18 to 30 when he is double her age. many of the young things seem to prefer Masters not too many years older than they are. (Perhaps they wisely think that a younger Master will have more sexual staying power too). generally a married Master is likely to have more problems collaring an unmarried girl unless he has a poly relationship with his spouse irrespective if she is Dominant or also a sub/slave too.

These are just some of the problems which a new Master may well find himself facing. In summation it is I believe harder for:

1. The Old Masters (Old farts of 50 ++) unless well known with an established reputation.
2. Masters who are Married and especially to a Domme.
3. Are known to be involved with or identify with a sub group not so popular or not well known.

Simply that the pretty younger lasses will be attracted to Masters closer to their own age and the older sub/slaves will probably want an established Master and may not wish to have to help train a bloke new to the scene, and few are willing or drawn to any controversial areas where they would be part of a contentious minority group. It is a catch22 situation and may of course not hold true in all areas but it would appear to be so in Australia where as the age difference is not such a problem in the UK, Europe and the USA.

Written by Iron Bear

"I wrote this a while ago for another non lifestyle/BDSM (Pagan) forum in reply to a question. This reply has been upsetting to some very good folk so pulled the post and sent a copy of this to the one who had asked the original question of me. Although I write about a Master/slave relationship, all that I have said equally applies to a Mistress/slave relationship to. Should some feel that this may apply to a Dominant/submissive dynamic, then us it I simply do not have any experience in relationships with submissives, only slaves.

In my world there are an over abundance who believe a woman collared is then a toy to be used and not thought about as all she wants to do is serve him as his slave.. She does want that with a fire burning in her belly that is unquenchable unless she is owned by a man who doesn’t care for her..

It takes a Man, a real man to understand that his slave is something more precious than all the wealth in the world. She has given him her submission for she believes he is trustworthy, honest, truthful, honourable and possesses both integrity and kindness. In his hands she gives her being. He holds her health, her wellbeing, her happiness, her life itself. With a single glance he can reduce her to tears and her world roiling with misery as she wonders what she did wrong. With the touch if a hand on her hair he can lift her to a state is bliss and ecstasy. Kneeling at his feet naked she is in heaven, It takes a real Man to accept this responsibility and hold it truly without guile and misuse, It takes great courage and a huge heart to give yourself completely to such a man. Both must be worthy of the other. Such a master will want to and indeed work hard on knowing his slave, her needs, her wants, her secret desires. At this stage they work as one, complementing one another and yet two individual people. She knows she can speak to him of her problems and gently put things right when he makes mistakes for she too knows he is a man and thus not perfect. When he is at work, she misses his masculine presence. He too misses her being near him so that their time together is complete.. Are such men really walking this earth? I have been blessed by knowing a number of them and their girls. Mayhap one day I may aspire to walk with then as an equal..

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage (A Victorian Lifestyle Home)

Growing Old In The Lifestyles 

Isn’t it strange how you write something like a poem because you are in a dark place and there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel so you become reflective, and later, a few years later, you find that what you wrote is true for you? Thus it was when in 2005 I wrote “He sits fingering the empty collar”, Copywrite © Iron Bear ~ September 2005(All rights reserved) . One of the things which most of us never consider especially in the lifestyle, is that as we get older we are excluded more and more from possible play lists of both sub and slave alike. Yes I know there are exceptions and even exceptions where the reverse is true, Much of this is culturally based of course and some is just part of the nature of things where the old Bulls and pushed away from the herd to fend for themselves and die alone as the young bull, stronger with more stamina and staying power (more sexually attractive) take over till they too are ousted and left in the wilderness of old age.

Here in Australia, our culture worships youth, bronzed athletic bodies scantily clad on sun drenched beaches. Culturally we have little time for old traditions other than those forged by out nation at war or in the throws of extreme hardship. We do not venerate or even look after our older generation and these days the Government even though they will never publicly admit it, want those infirm or disabled to die unless they are in the top 5% of financially secure people. This is seen in the refusal to accept those in relationships with large age differentials such as Neets and mine (30 years), where we do get socially discriminated against. So to is the general BDSM scene, once you are over 35, you are over the hill. God help you when you reach my age of being over 60! No one actively shuns you, but sub/slaves look upon you not as a Master or even a legitimate Dominant, but rather as a big brother or uncle who can take them to functions as long as you leave them alone in public to play with the young bucks,

Having reached again this realization and that although I do have lovely sub/slave lady friends, who avoid any discussions in which they may feel the need to be honest and tell me that they are not interested in the collar of an old fart, I will never again completely collar another girl as long as I remain resident in Australia. Moving is almost impossible without suitable finances so one is caught between the rock and a hard place of hating where you live, your place of birth, and not being able to leave. For some it is crushing and many of them die from hopelessness. For me, I become whimsical and cynical. Rather than doing something like quitting and becoming a recluse, I choose to remain under my own terms and continue to help those on line and actively seek males sub/slaves for Neets. It may indeed mean that I do withdraw from most local activities and functions as well as from most online groups but that is as much as being due to medical conditions and study as anything else… When told about a party or munch, I’m just as likely to say, “No thanks I’m going fishing.”

So my friends how do or would you deal with this problem of growing old and past your used by date?

The Wheelie Raid

During the night and the previous day the fierce hoard gradually assembled at the last tavern before the peaceful City in the valley below. Wheel chairs of all descriptions, makes, ages, sizes and state of repair were jammed into the tavern long room. The air was rent by the wheezing and coughing yells for "Paga trik more Paga" and the spluttering of those brave souls who chanced themselves in the alcoves with the lusty kajirie. With many, the thought was there (when they remembered what it was they were supposed to do. ) but sadly the actions were missing …. As were some bodily parts too. ..Still, finally all went to sleep and dozed, their dreaming of eons past when they were young and full of vigour and other things …. The night filled with snores, much farting and feeble calls "Potty trik potty".

Inside, havoc was wrought … capture after capture was made, food stolen, kajirie raped (or something like that …. Not sure who was the raper or rapee) and the place made a complete mess. Then the raid was finished! With much coughing, hacking, wheezing and other assortment noises, the Gorean Old Farts Brigade went their way to re assemble at a future time and place … mayhap outside Your City…..

The old man and the trik.
 
Under darkening skies threatening rain,
A slave girl cries out in anguish, pain;
At her feet a collar, sliced and broken
Of her release, a terrible token.
In the distance, a Master rides away
N’ere looking back, his countenance terrible they say.
 
In the gathering dark and impending storm
Astride his kailla, a rider sits weathered and worn.
Watches the trik curled sobbing on broken ground
Slowly approaching and making no sound
Dismounting, he strides to where wide eyed she remains
Till he lifts her o’er his shoulder, and saddle regains.
 
N’ere a word is spoken on that short ride
Till he find the sanctuary where friends doth abide
He bids her follow to where it’s warm and have a hot meal
Where friends will care and help her heart to heal.
With gathering triks, caring and kind, he leaves her to meet
Smiling gently to her, in silence he makes his retreat.
 
He feels her pain and knows it so well
Mind reaching out he weaves a spell.
To heal her heart that she may grow, laugh and live
Till she finds a Master worthy of what she has to give
If in her dreams, a golden eyed bear she doth see,
A friend, nothing more, so that she may just be.
 
Few understand his compassion and concern
No hidden agenda, no secrets to learn
No expectation or wearing a mask
Perhaps a simple friendship is all he would ask
The old man smiles and sips a bota of paga
Picks up a quill and works on a saga

copywrite © Iron Bear 2005

All Is Well In The World.

The old man smiles and all is well in the world;
A slave has found her Master;
A subby brat has found his Mistress;
There is joy; hope and anticipation in new beginnings.

The old man smiles and all is well in the world;
In his mind he hears the thwack of a cane and the thud of a flogger;
A slave cries out on pain and pleasure;
Helpless in her bondage.

The old man smiles and all is well in the world;
He fingers an empty collar without regret;
He remembers the joys of youth;
And feels the pleasure of those memories.

The old man smiles and all is well in the world;
He locks away the items he would have used;
To fill a new collar and train another slave;
Ere age showed him he would never do this again.

The old man smiles and all is well in the world;
He feels no sadness with his realisation
For the ownership of another is for those younger than he.
And he; with his memories of past glory is content.

copywrite © Iron Bear 2005