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Woohoo finally found my way back on this profile, though I like the other name better lol |
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Merry Christmas everyone! xoxo |
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Gobble gobble! Happy Turkey Day. Although Daddy cooked goose. |
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Out of pocket till Wednesday. Parents in town |
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I have a very happy ass tonight
:) |
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I'm going to get my Georgia Drivers License Tomorrow, Finally, and my Georgia License Plates!.... I'll officially be a peach!!! :) |
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Ready for my move! got the uhaul packed. Atlanta Bound in the Morning. |
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My big brother just reminded me just how very much I despise being tickled. I have an utter HATRED for it. Ugh.
PS- 1 month to the day and I'll be in Atlanta |
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Utterly shocked by my job.... When I think they have outdone themselves and couldn't do more I am proven wrong every single time as of late-
Today I was approached with the offer letter for my new job. And I knew I was asking for a LOT when I said I wanted 7,000 more a year, especially since I was told last week they were going to give me a $2000 sign-on bonus to help with moving expenses, So I wasn't holding my breath...(i'm a peon, and for peons like me, $7000 is a lot to ask for)
SO- imagine my shock and dismay, when I'm told not ONLY are they going to give me that, but that pay raise is effective as of May 1, which will be at least a full month before I move.
WOOOOWWWWW!!! This is all just Surreal.
I am blessed! I am starting to see the amazing things happen in my life that all through Rehab they told me would come someday with sobriety. I just have to remember- One day at a time, and Life on Life's Terms. If I live by those two rules, the benefits I will reap will be nothing short of amazing, but exponential as well.
And It makes everything so much better because I've worked so, so hard for it. And *I* did this, with the support from loved ones of course, BUT.... little old ME!! :) <3<3 |
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**IT's a definite go! I will be packing up and moving sometime between June 1-July 1!!! Wooohooo! Ready to make Atlanta HOME! (Updated 4/22/13)** |
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Made it to Hotlanta. gunna be a busy weekend :) |
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I really dislike apt searching. especially when its somewhere else, far far away. |
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Itinerary for apt hunting and checking out the area: BOOKED! oh em geeeeeee! this is awesome! Its happening so fast. I'll be in ATL on April 10-14... making sure its what I really want before I sign the dotted line, but it looks to be pretty much a done deal. |
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just was offered a new position at my company in Atlanta. find more details out tomorrow but it means more money and... yay! a new start for Deneé! |
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I have had a purely amazing last few days with a beautiful girl, and of course a great Dom. It's been so much fun and besides all the playtime, the great talk, hanging out with likeminded people and having fun and playing monopoly.
happy girl
ahhhh :)
have to sleep now. |
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amazing night last night. all smiles today. :) |
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Denee has a... gasp.. date... tomorrow night. exciting. |
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I am going to be scarce until Friday as I am in Montana due to a family Tragedy.
If you believe in anything at all please keep my family in your thoughts and/or prayers . My uncle's wife committed suicide in front of her 10 and 13 y/o kids after first pulling the gun on them. This is a horrific time in my beloved uncle's life.
Thanks |
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One day at a time ... that's my new motto. |
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Home sweet bed. Night Kids! |
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3 1/2 more hours and we should be home. I'm so tired and tired of being in the car... |
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Vacation! Ill be off and on and may not answer messages until after the first. |
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I think I've found what I'm looking for for now :)... Feel free to message, however... one can never have too many friends.. |
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I'm getting old... :( 27 now wtf? |
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Why can't I seem to get any guys my age to message me. 90 percent of the messages I get are men who could be my father. *shudder * |
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Headed to New Mexico this weekend to see my brother and the kiddos for the last time for probably 9 months, as he heads off to serve our country again. So sad, but so proud of him for what he does for our country. will be gone until Monday. Not bringing the computer along for this trip. see you on Monday, CM. |
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Sometimes I really dislike this life on life's terms crap.can i EVER catch a break? Finally out of my boot on my left ankle however and now just in a brace. But to add to all my medical crap I have Osteopenia which is a step before osteoporosis. Have to start taking once a month Boniva and calcium daily. sucks. i guess it could be worse but its still depressing as hell. |
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Just got the news, no surgery no cast, and i can go home tomorrow. I'm kind of furious though because he said the other hospital led him to believe that i wasn't able to walk at all or put pressure on that ankle. That's why he sent me here. Had he have known i could put pressure and have a knee walker he would have sent me home yesterday. Whatever. Now i just have to find a ride home tomorrow because now mom's out of town. Lovely. |
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Ugh! FML! I am being admitted to the hospital because i stumbled off a curb in my boot on my left foot and now broke my right ankle :( they're admitting me because They are worried about blood clots etc, :( |
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all moved in AND unpacked. Whee! |
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I've apparently been claimed by one of my customers at work. Cuz That's how i Roll. LOL. |
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Moving this weekend so won't be around.. much until Sunday. |
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Guess who's out of her cast? THIS GIRL! :) :) :) so stoked! |
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Internet at my apt is a little... iffy right now, so i may not be on much come Monday...
oh yeah and for those keeping an eye for these updates:
11 months was Wednesday!
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It really creeps me out when people "admire me" (put me on their favorites) and never so much as say hi or fuck you. Most of these people are 100% incompatible with me, so why "favorite" me? I can understand some of the people that i'm incompatible with doing it because we have TALKED and we are friendly twards each other at the very least. But the others? damn just say hi, or "i flagged your profile so i can go back and look at it later." i feel like i have boatloads of stalkers.
denee |
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Back at work. It wasn't too shabby, actually kinda nice not to be sitting on my ass doing nothing. |
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Bronchitis AND upper Respiratory to boot. Let the punches keep coming.. you're only making me stronger! (oh who am i kidding.. lol) ughhhhh |
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Back from the Dr. Got my Pink cast on ♥. He showed us x-rays they took today and there are 8 screws and a plate going up my tibia where it was completely shattered, and then 2 screws in my fibula. I am not allowed back to work until Monday due to swelling that can occur sitting at the desk again, so this week I'm supposed to try and slowly transition myself to sitting up a little more and more. Which is probably a good thing because mom gave me her death disease she had last week... it's been so hard to breathe, and I've been terribly lightheaded.. just what i need another fall. |
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Spongebath- Check.
Clean Clothes- Check
Painkiller- Check
Propped up in Mommy's bed watching TV/Movies- Check
I'm set for an Epic New Year! Woohooo! Go me...*sarcasm at its finest*
But really- Everyone have a great, safe New Year! Please find a DD or call that free taxi service AAA or whatever. That's what they are there for. And yes, I said free. You do NOT want DWI's on your record and they are making anyone that refuses breathalyzer do the blood testing, so it's not worth it (trust me). |
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Surgery went well. I haven't been in pain yet as they gave me a pain block on the left leg prior to surgery, but it has made it sure challenging to get around. hopefully it will be worn off by morning. |
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Surgery in the morning. Will update everyone soon |
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So i went into the Orthopedic surgeon this afternoon and i REALLY could have gotten better news, i wouldn't have minded one bit... no, really.
- I am on bed-rest (no work) due to bad swelling until surgery day (which will hopefully be friday if they decide Thursday enough swelling has gone down)
- I have to get at least 4 pins and a plate.
- I will not be allowed to go back to work for at least 2 weeks.
- I have to ride around an annoying little Knee-Walker called the Round-A-Bout for 3 months... (yes that's right the script calls for 3 months.) Copy and Paste link into your web browser to see): https://www.rentakneewalker.com/item_details.php?id=10301&Roll-A-Bout+Knee+Walker
- I have to stay at my moms until i am better... not looking forward to this.
Anyways, only one truly good thing i can think of can come from this.... I get to have a PINK cast! Woot woot!
anyways, its bedtime... ive gotten shit for sleep lately, maybe tonight will different. |
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Broke my ankle "real good" as the doctors said, and will have to have surgery. 9 stitches in my forehead to boot. Merry Christmas to me. Pics are available, but let me know if you dont wanna see them because odds are i'll send them if you comment about this, lol. |
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I can't wait until 2012- I can already tell if this year ended so amazing after such a bad beginning, that next year will be amazing. One week from today and i'll have 10 months clean and sober! woooohoo! |
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Gained so much weight getting off the pills I was on before... they were destroying my stomach and i couldn't eat and i got down to my lowest weight ever before rehab.. now i'm back up to my highest weight ever since my Gastric Bypass... I'm seriously considering looking into having a revision done on my Bypass... Thoughts anyone? I'm so unhappy with my appearance/weight... :( |
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I think.. no i KNOW... i got more messages when i wasn't looking for anything but friends.. lol.. what's up with that lol... |
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a wise man once said... (a Few minutes ago actually... lol..) That there are nothing on here but sandcastles... "you see something you think is real then it gets washed away right in front of you."
Love it... so true! |
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Recently reached my 8 Month sobriety date (on the 2nd!). Woohoo go me! |
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Who's going to fetishball? I've been considering it. |
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FetishBall This Year? perhaps so... perhaps so............... |
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When i wake in the AM i will have 7 months clean and sober from the painkillers! |
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Moved back to frisco and in with my friend. woot. |
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Austin this coming weekend. Woohoo! |
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Just realised today that September 7th- which is my birthday- will also be my 6th month sobriety anniversary. Woot Woot. |
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5 Months sober today Bitches! |
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Got my neice and nephew and brother here for a whole month! love it!!!! |
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92 days clean (off painkillers after going through rehab in March and April) By the grace of God. Every day it seems like something or someone i lost when i was using them slowly trickles back into my life. So completely and utterly blessed. <3
denee |
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Got a new car today.. well new to me. Babysitting tonight. Yay. |
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Lmao... apparently I'm self absorbed because i have an honest profile... |
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I've been clean for 60 days as of today!!! woot! |
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Back in Texas for a couple months. Missing Florida already! |
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Going back to texas for a few months. Ill be back in the Florida area after i get stuff together there |
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laptop is up and running. fuckin right. |
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Relocated to south Florida.. (Delray Beach) ... whether ill stay here for good is undetermined, but this was a necessary step in my life to better myself and work on me. I feel better than i ever have in my life and am no longer on pain meds for the fibro and stuff. Go me. |
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Made it to my next destination... Delray Beach, Florida where ill reside for an unknown amount of time. Gorgeous weather. I am soooo tan (and sunburned.. lol) New roomies seem cool... i am still with limited access on here until my laptop arrives later this week.. woohoo. |
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Limited time on the phone till the 9th.. looking like after that ill be here a month longer at least. Thinking about relocating to the area... |
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No computer or phone access for a month starting tomorrow. farewell friends See You all soon..
Denee <3 |
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Florida for some much needed life changing events for 30 days. I leave Wednesday. Wish me luck. I'll need it. |
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Mom: "You had to go and do it didn't ya?" Me: "Do what?!? be the sexpot that I am?"
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Gleeeeee- I'm watching GLEE! |
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I dont get it.. just got an email from collarme that they removed my main photo but no reasoning. It was a completely clothed picture of me by myself. Nothing wrong with that.. yet they keep peoples naked and dick pics or fake pics up |
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New Sexy pic up on my Picture # 2. Mmmm rope. This is what kinky 'Texan's' do on Snow Days for fun... tee-hee. |
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Brand new pic up of my 30 lb weight loss. |
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New picture up- its the 6th on my profile. yay for new haircuts/colors. |
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Why guys... WHYYYYY do you insist on the cock pics on the profile. it just.... makes me LOSE INTEREST IMMEDIATELY. I guess if that's your point. VERY unbecoming. |
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In the middle of moving... I will be very scarce for the next few days... Especially Tonight and Tomorrow. Please don't take unanswered emails as an offense... things just are hectic.
denee
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Six Flags over Texas is now officially Six Flags under water. Storms to continue throughout the night. ugh.
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Got the computer working at home, too. So nice.
I may have found an amazing roommate possibility for my end of lease in September... And were are all involved in the lifestyle and i have known the possible roomies Dom for years and He's a great friend. I think this could work out well and help us bouth financially quite a bit.
:) |
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YAY, im back online!! got a new laptop/computer from my AMAZING mommy and boyfriend for my birthday (and got to open it a week early, even!!!) I have been computerless for about 2 months now ... oh it is sooo nice to have a computer again. |
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Oh my- Family Guy Continues to crack me up.
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YAY for FetishBall Tonight!
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hahaha my new favorite quote:
"If swimming is good for your figure, explain the whale to me."
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To all my Friends and Stalkers.... Please bear with me, i haven't been feeling well lately... off to go read and nap.
<3 denee <3
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haha sorry guys, i added MORE CRAP to my profile today, don't hate me cause i'm sick and miserable.
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It's my Birthday today! The big 24! |
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I'm in Houston for my Birthday, Bitches! 2 more days! |
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4 days until my 24th Birthday! Houston This weekend! woot!
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6 days till my birthday whooohooo
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I believe things will be changing for the better shortly
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Why can't I ever find Anyone that will love and care for me as much as i do them, and accept me for who and what i am? There's always SOMETHING wrong with me, always.
What hurts the worst is when it is something i have absolutely no control over. Like this last time with my health... I don't ask to be sick.. i don't ask to have more issues than Reader's Digest. Nor do i think my different health issues are that much of an issue. yes, i have a lot of problems, but i DONT let them consume me. I DON'T let it control my life... why should someone be more worried about these things than i am? 90% of it isn't ever contagious. The only time it is is when my immune system craps out and i get some kind of cold or sinus infection or whatever. I think the health issue excuse for leaving me because "you can't take care of me" is kind of lame. If I don't let it control me, then why should You? Besides, wouldn't /you/ be the best thing for me? A Dominant to guide me and have me do all the right things to keep me at my healthiest? I suppose not, as i've learned. I also think it may have just been a way to leave me nicely.
I'm just so sick of being left. I've been abandoned by so many people in my life it's not funny, starting with my father before i was even born. It's depressing, to say the least.
What is so wrong with me? Am I too fat? Too ugly? I try so damn hard to just find someone to accept me. I don't hide a thing. I don't lie. I don't beat around the bush.
I just. ugh. I'm done venting. time to go get drunk and pass out.
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My laptop screen has pretty much gone out. ugh. So now that i'm home from vacation, i haven't a computer to use. (on moms now) |
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Procrastinating today, Freaking out about it Tomorrow, Driving Friday and Saturday, Montana Until June 14th, WOOT!
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I've been a busy busy beaver lately (pun intended)... Work has kept me busy as well as babysitting and then my mother had shoulder surgery this past weekend so i went and took care of her. I may not be around much this next few weeks or so... I have a lot to do in preparation for my Vacation/trip to Montana. Mom, my step dad, and I leave after work Friday June 5th and we're meeting my brother and his family in New Mexico and we're all driving up straight-through. I won't be back until June 14th.
Anyways, if you don't get a response from me, this is probably why, at least for the next month. That is unless you're just a complete dipshit and i just ignored your email. I'll let you figure that one out.
denee
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Good Girls Go Bad lyrics- Cobra Starship..
loveeeeeeeee it!
I make them good girls go bad
I make them good girls go
Good girls go bad
I know your type
(Your type)
You're daddy's little girl
Just take a bite
(One bite)
Let me shake up your world
'Cause just one night couldn't be so wrong
I'm gonna make you lose control
She was so shy
Till I drove her wild
I make them good girls go bad
I make them good girls go bad
You were hanging in the corner
With your five best friends
You heard that I was trouble
But you couldn't resist
I make them good girls go bad
I make them good girls go
Good girls go bad
I know your type
(Your type)
Boy, you're dangerous
Yeah, you're that guy
(That guy)
I'd be stupid to trust
But just one night couldn't be so wrong
You make me wanna lose control
She was so shy
Till I drove her wild
I make them good girls go bad
I make them good girls go bad
I was hanging in the corner
With my five best friends
I heard that you were trouble
But I couldn't resist
I make them good girls go bad
I make them good girls go
Good girls go bad
Good girls go bad
Good girls go bad
Oh, she got away with the boys in the place
Treat 'em like they don't stand a chance
And he got away with the girls in the back
Acting like they're too hot to dance
Yeah, she got away with the boys in the place
Treat 'em like they don't stand a chance
And he got away with the girls in the back
Acting like they're too hot to dance
I make them good girls go bad
(They don't stand a chance)
I make them good girls go
The good girls go bad, yeah
Good girls go bad
I was hanging in the corner
With my five best friends
I thought that you were trouble
But I couldn't resist
I make them good girls go bad
I make them good girls go bad
I make them good girls go
Good girls go bad
Good girls go bad
Good girls go
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yes, its over. I figured it was too good to be true..... seems my
health is too much for anyone to swallow. Unfortunately its not
something I can control so i suppose i will be alone forever.... eh...
I've fallen in lone with Seether's cover for Careless Whisper, and it seems to fit.
Careless Whisper lyrics
I Feel So Unsure
As I take your hand
And lead you to the dance floor
As the music dies
Something in your eyes
Calls to mind a silver screen
And all its sad goodbyes
[Chorus]
I'm never gonna dance again
Guilty feet have got no rhythm
Though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool
I should have known better than to cheat a friend
And waste a chance that I've been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you
ohhh..
Time can never mend
The careless whispers of a good friend
To the heart and mind
Ignorance is kind
There's no comfort in the truth
Pain is all you'll find
[Chorus]
I'm never gonna dance again
Guilty feet have got no rhythm
Though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool
I should have known better than to cheat a friend
And waste a chance that I've been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you
ohhh..
Tonight the music seems so loud
I wish that we could lose this crowd
Maybe it's better this way
We'd hurt each other with the things we want to say
We could have been so good together
We could have lived this dance forever
But now who's gonna dance with me
Please stay
[Chorus]
I'm never gonna dance again
Guilty feet have got no rhythm
Though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool
I should have known better than to cheat a friend
And waste a chance that I've been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you
ohhh..
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Wow... just.. wow... my weekend went more than amazing. Daddy exceeded my expectations by a mile. it was way too short of a trip, although, anything less than a lifetime would be too short. i was at home this weekend. in my element. i have fallen for for the most amazing man in the universe. my One. my Daddy.
i love You Daddy. thank You.
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So as we all know from previous entries my year sure as heck didn't start out on a good foot. actually quite the opposite. and as it sill has been slightly slow as far as healing goes (still seeing outpatient wound care, but may be able to get discharged within the next couple weeks, things seem to be looking up. I finally think i could have found the One. He's pretty dern amazing! And i am officially going to meet Him on April, 17th, 09 at 9:35pm I will be able to finally be held by him! omg i can't wait... my dreams are coming true!! i just hope it goes well, and He doesn't decide that i'm not all i'm cracked up to be!!
i <3 You Daddy!!!
denee
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I refuse to end up back in that damn hospital. this vac is NOT working right.
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Still recovering. Another week off work at least.
At this time i am not looking. thank you for viewing my profile, and thank you for the well wishes. the most i can offer is a friendship.
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Ugh I have this tube, and this vaccuum coming out of this big hole in my side... how annoying. the end.
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yay I got a new car today that I can't drive until the Dr. Okays me, but oh well... woot. its not NEW but it's new to me. Home Health Care Comes Tomorrow. fun fun.
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Update on my Hospital Extravaganzas:
I got pretty sick and had an appendix attack and they took it out January 26th... i was in the hospital an hour away (where i was babysitting when it happened....) for a week from Sunday night until the next Sunday morning, and had some complications... they had to give me blood transfusions etc... well when they discharged me i probably wasn't ready to go, we were pretty sure i had an infection, but we wanted me out of that hospital. last Monday mom started her new job and had to fly out for training in Massachusetts... so she left me with My Stepdad's sister... and Wednesday i woke up pouring out infection and blood so i was rushed back to the hospital, and here I've been since Wednesday. i had surgery # 2 Friday to clean my incision all out of infection and they put a wound care vacuum in Monday and sent me home tonight with home health care that will start tomorrow. I'm so tired of hospitals, I was in 2 weeks and 3 days now, almost straight... only 2 days in there of being home before I was back in yet another hospital. bah humbug.
But thank God I was finally paroled with my Home Wound Care Vac and Home Health Care at 5 pm tonight. It was definately past due as my nursing care started to go down hill about 3 days ago. But now I have to wear this bag with a tube coming out of my belly, draining into this bag I have to carry around everywhere I go for 2 whole months. It just sucks.. and looks funny. Anyways, oh well, At least things are looking up for me. I hope. There will be no going back into a hospital for me, if it gets worse again I'll just let it get worse.... and die cause im NOT going back in lol....
Well I'll be around again off and on... Bought myself a new laptop while i was in the hospital so i had something to do while I was in there (but it wouldnt let me onto CM, darn hospital servers.) I'll try to get online while I'm not resting.
xoxo, Denee
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| Hospital Update |
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Last saturday night after babysitting I stayed the night at the peoples place cause i planned on going horseback riding but that never ended up happening... I had the worst unexplainable pain... well after 1 week of being in that little prison, I was finally discharged. It was a long week... I entered the ER at 9:30p last sun, was admitted at 3:30a and had surgery at 11a. I had my appendix removed. I thought oh this would be nothing I might be out within 24 hours... haha RIGHT... the Dr. did it open (i have 8 staples) he doesnt trust lapriscopic. apparently an appendix is supposed to be the size of your little finger, mine my mom described as a polish sausage.... and fullll of infection... the dr. said it was the worst hed seen probably in all his 40+ years of medicine... Then on like tuesday i went way downhill... i ended up needing a blood transfusion. then the next day I got a plasma transfusion. then things finally started looking up, but the pain never did... I didn't know that they were going to ever release me... I figured I was going to get transferred today to a closer hospital since I was so far out from where I live... or mom lives.. but I got lucky and they went ahead and discharged. I'll be taking things easy for a while.. im still not getting around well, and sleeping a lot... and im finally eating a little better... Mom got a new job and has to go to boston tomorrow, so ill be going to stay at my Step-Aunts for 2 days. anywyas thanks for all the love and concern... | |
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Ok... I just found another one of my hard limits. Spiders. The end.
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Right now more than anything I need to submit to get my mind off of things, to be used... to kneel at Someones feet... to curl up with Someone and be the person, thesubmissive i know I can be.... that I've needed to be for so long.
Soon enough I spose....
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R.I.P Great Granny GoodWitch. 4/25/1919-1/15/2009
She's Gone. She left us to go home to a better place and to be with so many of her loved ones that shes missed so much. She passed on at about 1:15p. I don't know what to say... what to do.. i just want to... curl up in a ball and go to bed... and never get up. just lay there forever. I'm devistated. My heart goes out to all the rest of my family,.... and the over 100 Children, Grandchildren, Great Grandchildren, Great-Great Grandchildren, and her Sister, and Many generations of neices and nephews that are all grieving over this. She was a Very loved woman. She touched so many lives.
Goodbye Granny, I love you.
Rest In Peace,
4/25/1919-1/15/2009 |
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Thank you everyone on the input about airfare to Montana. Looks like I'm not going to need it anymore. Well, not at least until this summer when we all get together to go and spread the ashes.
| Great Granny Good Witch April 25 1919- January ?? 2009 |
I can't believe you are about to leave our lives forever. You will never leave our hearts.
My Great Granny was admitted to the hospital in Helena, Montana. Since yesterday She's had two strokes followed by a major heart attack and is unconscious. At about 5pm central time family informed us that she has had no brain activity and so they took her off life support. We are now playing the waiting game. We were told that she wasn't expected to make it the night... that we'd be lucky if she even made it the afternoon.
I am just plain crushed. She and I were very close... I spent so much time with her during my summers when I was younger. She has always been an amazing woman, and a major part of my life and heart. I was always closer to my Great-Granny than I was my Grandmother. She is My last grandparent that I know that is alive. She is 89 years old... She will make it just shy of her 90th Birthday, that is/was coming up in April.
I keep talking in past tense about her even though we haven't actually gotten the call that she's gone yet:( I guess cause we all know theres no turning back this time.... she's lived her life. she's ready. She's had at least 2 open heart surgeries, and health problems all her life... but shes always been one tough lady. she's always had so much spunk and go. I always figured she'd outlive me at the rate she was going. heh.
I love you... I miss you already. Please tell Jesus Hi for me when you get there. and put in a good word for me... I'll need it.
Oh and... Remember Fuzzy Wuzzy? I always will :) |
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anyone wanna have my root canal for me next week?
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Where are these awesome Airfaires I've been hearing about?
I need to find one of these amazing round trip deals they've got going on as per the news... but i'm not finding anything.. i am looking for whats cheapest in at anytime in a several month span... kinda with could be cheaper... so if someone knew a site that lays out each month what their cheapest flights are?
I want to leave from DFW or Dallas Love to go to Montana... Helena to be exact but wouldn't be against Missoula or Bozemen. My great granny isn't doing to well and im pretty close to her so i need to find something.. be able to see her before she goes.....
the cheapest im finding is $344+tax...
as cheap to Montana that is these supposed deals they're having SHOULD be cheaper.
if anyone's heard anything like me know!
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yes, I'm alive. Haven't been around much... babysitting a lot. Pet-sitting too... I'm just a sitting fool.. haha.
I just got paid for watching a 5 year old from Saturday until Yesterday. It made it all worth it... I still am not sure that I'm not mommy material... maybe ill just continue sitting so i get paid for the "mommy stuff..." Its nice... most people say having kids put them in the poor house... it keeps me from it lol. Morning Temper-Tantrums when I'm not a morning person myself were NOT fun.
Been flirting with Bronchitis lately the past month... well not flirting... I've had it. Christmas Eve I ended up with Laryngitis... UGH... that sucked not being able to talk for almost a week during the HOLIDAYS. Plus I'm a CSR.. talking is what i DO. I laughed at the Dr. when he told me to be in a non-talking environment. lol ... I also has Sinusitis then too.. I was full o-itis....
Hope everyone is having a great new year!
Denee
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Feeling better, thanks EVERYONE for all the get well messages.
With getting better comes work... lots of it. It's that time of year in Customer Service when Customers have got to be served. heh.
I have been getting tons of babysitting jobs lately, which is always nice to have some extra cash rolling in. And, starting Wednesday I am pet-sitting for our elderly receptionist for 8 days. I'll have her 2 Chihuahuas.... god help me.
Last but not least... Winter Weather Advisory!!! haha
AS THE ARCTIC AIRMASS DEEPENS AND TEMPERATURES CONTINUE TO SLOWLY FALL TONIGHT... PATCHY FREEZING DRIZZLE OR LIGHT FREEZING RAIN WILL OCCUR. SOME LIGHT SLEET MAY OCCASIONALLY MIX WITH THE FREEZING RAIN. ACCUMULATIONS OF ICE AND SLEET ARE EXPECTED TO BE ---LESS THAN ONE TENTH OF AN INCH.
---
haha, in Texas we doin' it big!
This is ridiculous. We were at 78* yesterday.... its frigging 23* and sleeting right now!!! What the Heck!?!?!?!
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I've been sick :( Soooo Sick.
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hah.. A new favorite quote of mine:
Family Guy : I.. I... I'm not drunk,(slurring) I just have a speech impediment, (throws up) aaand a stomach virus....(falls over) aaaand an inner ear infection!
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I think I'm gong to get me some Chinese food for Turkey-Day haha.
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Ugh, I'm just bummed.
It is confirmed... I'll be alone on Turkey Day.
Gobble Gobble...
If I can come up with a few bucks maybe IHOP and I will become friends for the day. I actually may go out and make an appearance at my step families... ugh... they're already butt-hurt cause i said i probably wouldn't show, maybe I'll do a good dead and go. we'll see
Better Yet a Family Guy and Movie Marathon Day sounds good. haha.
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I'm Bummed :( Or as Donkey on Shrek sings: "I'm all aloneeeeeee there's noone here besidddddddddddddddeeeeeee meeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."
This the first thanksgiving i think I'll truly be able to say I'll be alone. Alllllllllllllll alone. I think I'm going to have to veg out to sad chick flicks and get wasted. hah.
I'm trying to find a last minute plane ticket to have my mom pick me up out in El Paso to go to my brothers in New Mexico (she drove out Sunday, and will be driving back this Sunday, so I'd only need a one-way ticket on a west bound train, see how far I can go... oh oops sorry... got sidetracked...) Anyways, but even one way to El Paso is $193 right now, and I'm trying to find a way to Justify that, especially with as broke as I am, and it being the holidays. I talked to my babies on the phone when I called mom a bit ago... and it made me so sad... i miss them so much, ugh... but can I REALLY afford this? REALLY?!?!?!?! blah.
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Woot Woot- finally got a new permanent cell phone. it's so perrrrrrrty and PINK!
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Oh... My... God... that was amazing. I had a great weekend. My family is the best. and San Francisco was just... WOW. The end.
PS. Love not 8.
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San Fran, Beaches. (yes, it's a pun.)
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**10 Days until San Fran!!! whoohoo...**
Couple answers to questions I've been frequently asked recently:
-No, I am not moving.
-No we can not get together and " have fun."
*** I am going on a VACATION with a bunch of women in my family... It will be a SHORT one... I will be spending both SHORT days in a town I've never been with Family I haven't seen for years... I'll be BUSY! Thanks.***
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Woohoo 25 more days till I'm in SAN FRANSISCO, bitches. Cause that's how I roll.
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I changed the order of my pics around, cause I'm cool like that, yo.
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Preparing for us a hurricane! Get ready, Texas, this could be a doosey!
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Less than 10 hours now.. whoohoo
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2 days, Bitches. I'm feeling much better too. Not 100% but getting there!
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Whoooooohoooo 8 days left until I turn 23!!!!
No, I am not feeling any better.... Still miserable. Perhaps i should be resting a little more. Oh wellllllll...
Birthday and get-well donations can be sent to my pay pal... deneerochelle@hotmail.com haha.
But Really... I am about to be old... you know you are getting old when the number of emails you receive daily on this site, from anyone... aged 18- 99... goes from 30-40 a day ( literally... you people think I'm joking, and then you wonder why us females don't email you back 90% of the time) to about 10 a day. The percentage was at it's highest from the time i was 18-21... and that's sad. what's sadder, is that the age of the people messaging me averaged about 45-50 years old. WHEN I WAS 18!!! Seriously, and these men think it's ok... what if i was your daughter, and it was another man... Actually don't put it that way because some of you twisted people would probably like that thought. that's disturbing to me.. but anyways. This is why I try and stick to men within 15 years my elder.
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UGH still sick... on the bright side 13 days left untill my 23rd bday. Whatcha'all gunna get me fir a get well/bday present in one? lol jk!
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Hey everyone, just wanted to leave a small update here and let everyone know that due to my health at the moment I am kinda incapacitated. I will be off and on, but mostly just long enough to check messages. please bear with me as far as responses to emails go. I will try and respond to all in a timely manner. Right now I am so far behind in messages so please don't get offended. If you don't recieve a response back please email me back when I update that i am feeling better. |
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Wait, to make this even better... had to go BACK to the Dr. today because it only got WORSE through the night this is the official diagnosis...
- Bad Sinusitis
- MONO
- Migraine
- High Blood Pressure
- Anemia.
Awesome. Just Awesome.
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Sinus Infection.... ugh... Going to go lay down and die now.
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No longer looking for a roommate. Apparently my apt. complex would rather have to evict me for not paying my bills. (JK.. that was sarcasm, get it, ha-ha.) Anyways, I'll have to stay here and start hookin myself for extra money for 6 months. (Again, SARCASM.)
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It's raining cats and dogs... yay
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Just an FYI, My cell is indefinately cut off... if you need to get ahold of me please email me or leave a message. If and when I either get it back on, or a new number, you will be informed. Also, I am writing this message and then going to lay down cause i STILL have a migrane, so please do not feel you need to respond... since ill get about 500 messages as is.
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I have the bestest best friend in the world. Lindsey just confirmed today that she will be here September 4-9 for my birthday. She loves me!!!
I need to come up with some kind of big party this time though. Last year we just kind of sat around being lazy. Any ideas?
My Birthday is the 7th (hers is the 25)... gotta try and get off work at least 2 of the days, with is hard in Customer Service. Hopefully I'll be allowed the 5th and 8th off
I was thinking maybe some big group outing to Hurricane Harbor... anyone and everyones invited! any other ideas let them flow. I don't drink much anymore so no on drinking, at least me providing drinks. I'm not drinking to so im not going to spend tons on money on others to drink
Anyways, let me know if any of you have ideas on what her and i can do while shes here; My/ and her joint Big #23 Birthday Bash; and if You would like to be involved. Remember that if we do something like hurricane harbor everyone has to pay for them selves.
Once we get a good Birthday Idea I will make an invitation on EVITE and ANYONE that wants to come let me know and clear your the weekend of September 7th schedule.
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Yay for the storms rolling in. god i love listening to the thunder. just something so calming in it.
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This was a super long week. I hung out at work late every night, even tonight because i have no life lol. All except last night, I went over and helped my friend Brian decorate and arrange his new place. Now I am sitting here in my apartment on a friday night, sipping a glass of wine, cause he's really gotten me hooked lately and it sounded good after a long week.
weekend plans? not a damn thing. vegging out. I am still in a blah mood. I need it.
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Sorry about that rant yesterday everyone. I was just in a craptastic mood. I don't know why I've been in a funk lately. I've been hanging out at work late every day this week though. What kind of crap is that? Only because there are things to do there and I don't want to come home and be alone. Being alone constantly gets old. I need to clean my apt and do laundry sooo bad but i keep putting it off. Ugh. I also have had the worst headache for like... 3 days straight now. Sinuses I'm sure. All I know is i'm tired of going to work and coming home just to go to bed at like... 7:30 because i get bored of being online.
Anyways, if you think my journal yesterday was about you, you're probably wrong. It was mainly geared twards anyone who has ever considered just dissappearing on someone. I know its not an ideal situation to have to tell someone "i'm not interested" But please , be an adult and if you ever feel that way twards someone just TELL them. They may get hurt, upset, yada yada... but in the end you're doing them, and you, a favor. I'd rather someone tell me then always sit there wondering, besides that's just the shitty cowardly way of doing things.
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Ugh, I feel like I'm going to need a lotttttttt of Redbull this week.
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TNG Friday night, suckahhhhhhhhs
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yes, i moved back. my acct is back, and ive used this name for too long to leave... besides, like i said, could be too easily found on the other.
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My Hand is almost back to normal. i can lift the wrist with lots of concentration almost all the way... fingers too.... damn tiring though. Still using my splint almost all the time. |
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Well it's that time again... time for VACATION Woot! I'll be back Sunday night. don't miss me too much. I'm spending time with my babies at mom's house today, then fly out in the morning. ahh, yay. Chicago here I come! I will not be able to respond to any messages until Sunday night. |
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Vote: Which name should i keep up and use as a main name now that all photos are approved on both...
hey0its0denee
or
deneerochelle |
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Anyone in North Dallas looking for a Kink-Friendly Roommate?!!?
So I am seriously considering looking for a roommate in the North Dallas area. It would be ideal to find someone else into the lifestyle so i don't have to hide my true identity. I would be willing to room with either male or female or a couple, as long as they arent psycho and its JUST a roommate situation SND i have my OWN room. Ideally I would want to pay $400 or less/month INCLUDING utilities. anyways, I know this is a little bit of a stretch, but I might as well put it out there and see what i might be able to find. I have to let my apt people know if I'm resigning a lease by June 30, so i don't have long to find something, but if i do this, My lease here isn't up until August 31st. I work around George Bush Turnpike & N. Dallas Tollway, so something no further than 20-30 minutes would best. Willing to travel further the less the rent. I have furniture, so if you don't, thats fine. Also, I'd need a room that my King-sized bed would fit in.
I am a clean, non smoker, non drinker. I am single, and Not a partier. I would prefer the same... or someone that does any of the above in moderation. |
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So the latest message I've recieved thats raised an eyebrow.... "So they think your fat. Well you look like steak to me. Well steak is still steak even if nobody knows it. "
Will someone PLEASE tell me wtf that's supposed to mean? lol.. was that a nice way of calling me a cow? haha.... Anyways, thank you so much everyone for all the sweet emails responding to the ones i have recieved from all the jerks out there.
oh.. and...
11 Days Till Chicago |
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Another new Picture... Oh, and by the way, my hand stopped working again so if it takes longer to get back to you please forgive me, it's hell to try and type after being on the computer all day long at work.
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22 Days Before I go to Chicago. woot woot.
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You know I think today It finally hit me... I've been pretty stable for the past little while... in almost every point of my life. I have held a good Job for a year and a half now... and mentally I am at my best I've ever been. Physically I good be better... Considering my Fibro...but otherwise I am doing exceptionally well. This all just kinda hit me and I went Wow... Denee You haven't turned out to be half bad afterall...
Thankfully I am stable because I also had another potential hurt.... thankfully he was super fucked up in the head, and ruined it all before it could get too terribly far... and the lies about some stupid bitch I knew about the whole time... uncalled for... What is it with people these days that they just can't tell the truth... all i ask for is honesty, since I'm being more than 100% honest with them. but no. even with ample oppotitunities he couldnt just spill it.
I guess where I'm getting with this is.. all this said... why can't I find someone? why in the hell have i been single 2 1/2 years? seriously... what is so terribly wrong with me?
-I may not be a model, but I'm by no means ugly.
- I may not be the skinniest girl... but I'm not all that overweight, either.
- I may not be rich, but I can hold my own.
-I may be a little bit of a brat, but I can and am pretty damned submissive for the right ones.
- I may have some health issues, but for the most part they dont affect much as far as play etc goes... I just may have pain afterwards, but its something I've come to deal with, in pain or not.
All I want is a honesty... and someone with a level head on thier shoulder. I'm fucking tired of the BS.... the games... and the drama. I'm tired of the Lies.
Psychos... please stay away. I really don't need or want anyone with a bunch of problems. If you cant control your mental state of being, I can assure you you won't be able to control me, so keep on trucking.
Men... If you are within the range of 15 years older than me, with a stable head on your shoulders, and reletively little but preferably NO drama in your life... Then please, Contact me. I would prefer someone in my area, but it is not a must.
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Omg I am so sore. I went and saw one of my Dominant friends last night because I was kinda down in the dumps and needed some tension release... and mmmm... the bruises are gorgeous. How he was able to tie me in some of the positions he got me in i have no clue, but he did it. I just wish my fibro wouldn't act up so much.... or i would have been able to stay in such positions for longer.... but i tend to believe that having feeling in my hands and feet is a good thing... and numbness and tingling isnt a good thing. I definately needed last night something terrible. It was amazing.
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I'll be in Chicago July 3-6. My Original plans were ruined, so I'll probably be slumming with some friends in the area, but maybe I'll be lucky and get to meet someone. I also will have 2 ridiculously long layovers... the first one on July 3rd in Tulsa, Oklahoma is 2 hours long and my 2nd one, the 6th of July is in Des Moines, Iowa and is 2 hours and 20 minutes.
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Yeah yeah, I know I'm confusing the fuck out of a lot of you lately... trust me im confusing myself. I really don't know whats happening, but I'm back here until further notice. I can't seem to make anyone happy no matter how hard I try.... And this time I'm not quite sure WHAT I did wrong.... my head is still kind of spinning. heh... that's what ya get for opening up and trusting Denee, you stupid cunt. |
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I haven't Written for a while, things have been kind of... I wouldn't say BUSY here, but I haven't been on the computer much lately. I tend to get online and get bored of it quickly. I ALWAYS stay invisible on yahoo, because the gobs of people that have me on thier friends list frustrates me when I sign on visible... it's overwhelming for that many windows to pop up. I work 40+ hours a week, and when I'm not working I'm either babysitting, at mom's, or sleeping. I've been spending a lot of time at mom's lately. Healthwise I've been quite well lately... I mean yeah I have back pain, but overall I'm feeling good... Except for sinuses. I went to the dentist today and got some work done... my 4 top front teeth were completely chiselled down and "refinished" haha... for once in about 4 years I'm not self-concious to smile. It looks sooo good.
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I'm home from vacation... although seeing my neice and nephew again was great... and they're growing like weeds... It was quite the stressful trip. On our way there on thursday we almost were plowed by a tornado, and took shelter in a liqour store, as we left the car under an overpass. The kids were an anxiety producing duo... good thing I love them.. and then I ended up with a case of the flu (or something of the sort) Saturday during the night, and spent that day in bed, and today in a car driving with a fever feeling like hell tummy muscles and chest all sore and crampish from the fierce vomiting... now i get to go sit in a class for work for 2 days... i doubt feeling any better.. fun! ugh... wish me luck.
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Note to all: I will be AWOL until Tuesday. I will be going to see my neice and nephew in New Mexico... along with all the Air Force hotties in uniform. Driving out with mom Thursday to return Monday. ugh that drive through West Texas is 10 hours of hell. See y'all soon!!!! Don't miss me too much!!!! :)
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"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto."
Well,
that's what I feel like I SHOULD be saying today. I laid in bed last
night as a tornado hit my neighborhood because no sirens went off and I
had to work this AM so i didn't want to get out of bed in order to
exhaust myself even more today. I just thought it was a normal bad
Texas storm. The news is saying they think it may have just been
straight line winds... they haven't confirmed a Tornader... but, it was
definately a tornader. This place looked like a war zone today. My
morning drive to work that is 3 miles took me 45+ minutes and was like
a freaking maze being routed every which way because of roads closed,
power lines down, trees down, roofs in roads, traffic lights hanging in
the roads, accidents, signs blown everywhere... I have lived through a
lot in my 11 years here in Texas, but NOTHING like this.
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I Have a Sinus Infection I think. ugh... make the fever, drainage, stuffyness, and headache go away...
I wanna Cuddle :( Mommy lives too far away.
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So, I went to my Miracle workers yesterday (The pain management clinic)
and got my bi-weekly injections and adjustments. When asked if I was
taking the Cymbalta (antidepressants) as it or some sort of similar
medication would probably be the best thing for my pain, I was
completely reprimanded. I of course answered no. I was Honest, I just
don't do well will pills that I HAVE to take on a daily basis, never
have unless I have someone pretty much there to shove them down my
throat (Hypothetically speaking.) Its not just this type of med, same
goes for my thyroid pills. Anyways... so they asked me if something
else worked in the past and i couldnt think of the name so they put me
on Wellbutrin. Apparently Antidepressants are supposed to send signals
to my brain that it isnt getting... has to do with endorphins and the
like, and It will cure the pain of the Fibromyalgia, or at best make it
a tiny better and more live-able... and also assist with my sleep stuff
yada yada yada... So I started taking the Wellbutrin yesterday, and I
am not the least bit impressed or thrilled yet. It does what the
cymbalta did... makes me an emotional mess... and I'm not sure its
worth MAYBE making the pain a LITTLE better. For the first time in my
life I don't NEED anything for depression, and they're telling me i
do... and i mean, maybe i DO... for the fibro, but it just doesnt feel
right to me, I don't like it one bit. I'm not depressed. I feel like
not taking it... well i probably wont in a couple days... since i only
ever take this stuff for a week or so before it trails off to a quick
never... But I'm already a blah emotional rollercoaster. ive cried
twice today, over STUPID stuff... someone tell me im wrong and i need
to take this? actually tell me I'm right and its okay to stop... or
maybe tell me the emotional stuff will go away... but for some reason i
dont think it will... its going to depress me since i dont have
depression anymore. bleh.
Random bits: My mouth is feeling better since the root canal. Im not
so sure on the guy front. I slept on my elbow wrong on friday night
and strained the muscles and it hurts so bad. I am sleepy. The end
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Bleh, I'm in all sorts of pain, you should all feel sorry for me! :( I had a root canal today. One of my teeth abcessed. fucking hell it hurt. It took 3 times for something to numb it, with 3 totally fifferent types of meds. Now, after having the procedure at 4, I am still numb at 20 till 10.
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booyah, 3 1/2 months later and apt is clean. Damn I'm good.
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Cleaning, omg my place got horrible, I don't even know where to begin. Someone come clean for me?
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I'm watching Blue's Clues... "Cause it's really fun." Or maybe its because I'm babysitting. I'll let you decide, haha. Oy I'm tired, and i have 24 more hours of this... At least the newborn is happy for the time being.
Oh and for all of those messages I've gotten about my last journal... yeah it was a JOKE. In response to him running for congress. really my thoughts are...
VOTE FOR PEDRO!!!
And, this is all the writing I'm going to do in my "Handy Dandy Notebook" heh omg, this shows frying my brain. Steve (the guy on the show) must be tripping on some major acid. |
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Kevorkian for President!!!!
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LOL so my mother and i just had a chat, in which I asked "What's the oldest aged guy you would approve of me with?" and she answered "30" hahahahaha Her and I may just have to agree to disagree.
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SNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
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I'm bored.. So bored. Ugh, i wanna go out and do something, like watch a movie, but come on, that's no fun alone.
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Distance is a bitch. actually it's the time difference as much as anything that is killer. 6 hours is just ridiculous. I miss Him so much... I hate this waiting game. I want to be with Him, now. I know i'm a greedy bitch, but, eh. Maybe i need to stop sitting around online and waiting for Him. I should live my live until we're able to be together... it's just hard because i want to spend every waking moment with him. I'm so needy, i hate it. i just miss Him so.... I haven't talked to Him since thursday and it's killing me! |
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I am all smiles and giddyness right now. He's just great. why didn't i see this was where my place was with Him years ago. Oh well.
By the way, I'm looking to meet likeminded friends in the UK. |
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Lowest Weight EVER! 175! I've lost a total of 103lbs since 2003! 40 lbs since september!
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DONT ask me what happened if you're just going to accuse me of being a liar. Just assume it's my abusive imaginary Dom! K? Thanx!
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I am in so much pain... I had a really nasty fall today/ this am... black and blue head to toe... wanna see pics just ask
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Assumption is one of Man's Worst Enemys.
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New Photo Madness! I changes a bunch of my pictures cause I got this great new camera for christmas cause my mommy loves me lol. so check them out! theres at least 5 new ones!
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Okay, Just so everyone is clear on this, even though 95% of you wont pay attention or will disregard this: I am NOT up for relocation. My Life is here in Dallas. My Job, my Mom (Aka my Best Friend.), my apartment (in which I have a lease on I can nor will break,) Everything I know is here. Unless you are in the process of or are willing to relocate in the semi-near future, and at least come visit soon I am not Interested. I can and will not do long distance. Yes, I have tried before, in fact just today I had to break the news to someone I was quite interested in it just was not going to work. I am not emotionally willing to put myself through it anymore. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
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People on CM are so "Facial"- pardon the pun. Now that my pics are back up I've gotted bout 50 messages, just in the last 2 hours. no kidding, but when i didn't have my pics up only 1 person messaged. And they messaged about my pics being gone! Is the new pic that flattering? Seriously, I know I'm not that pretty... And some of the guys messaging me... wow... Ineed to stop outside and cool off. I have just discovered that pictures of hot men in a cowboy hat showing off their 6 packs makes me all kinds of happy.
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I Just got a message on here from an old friend I've known for years online. I also just showered my computer with iced tea out my nose. My friend is just so sweet and has a way with words!
"did you hurt your wrist....
BTW...you look great with all of the weight loss...I remember when you were fat"
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I'm down to 179 lbs. Wow. I am amazed. just over 4 years ago I was 278 lbs.
I had gotten down to 178 a couple years ago, but Went through a tough time there for a while. In september I was back to 215, and I knew I had to change. I stopped drinking, started eating healthier, snacking less, and portioning less (although everyone that knows me says I eat like a bird anyways.)
As far as pictures go, Bear with me, we all know how long it takes CM to approve them.
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Updating Photos- Bear with me!
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Well Mom just got back from the vets office, with our cat of 7+years in a box in the back to bring home to bury.
We've
had Simon since he was born, Mom and Ted woke up this AM and he wasnt
acting right.. Mom went to work and when my stepdad got up he saw him
not moving under the computer desk (where my mom had left him an hour
or more before, ) but he was howling a god-aweful howl.. Ted picked him
up and he was foaming at the mouth and shaking.,.. so he put him in the
garage not expecting him to make it ... when they got home he was still
alive and they brought him to the vet... looks like he had some
parasite and his red blood cells were down and his immune system was
attacking itself. There wasnt much they could do, it would have taken
several blood transfusions, hospitalizations etc, and prolly wouldn't
have worked anyhow...
I feel so bad for mom, she's taking it hard. He was a lazy ol cat but it was hard not to love fat-ol Simon.
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For all of those that ever doubted it has been confirmed! I have a Brain! I went to the Wizard of Oz today and he said my brain was completely normal... that is if the Wizard is a Dr. He did confirm some muscles in my neck are jacked up, and i'll have to see him 1-2 times a week.
Other than that I've had a tummy bug that landed me in the ER yesterday, Again. After pumping me with fluids (ok that sounds dirty) and a few 'scripts later, I was sent home to be in agony all alone. When will my health ever improve? ugh.
Oh and I've lost 4 more lbs.. Woot... down 30 lbs since september. I'm at 184!
almost to my lowest-ever. Maybe stopping Drinking WAS a good thing
afterall
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Since I've had several people call and several others message, I won't know any results until tuesday. Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts.
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Went back to my pain management dr and now they're going to do an MRI
of my brain tomorrow to check for blood clots/tumors/ect. Fun stuff.
Keep me in your thoughts/prayers/whatever you do that helps you sleep
at night, please. Hopefully this will come back normal like everything
else.
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So I finally got the one pic I think someone took of me at Fetish Ball. It's loading on my pics and will be the third one up, I got rid of the lollypop one although the one from my birthday should have went... I look uber-lard ass in it. Just a warning, I look like Little Bo Peep's big fat pink Sheep. I wasn't fond of the skirt but it was the only thing that didnt really clash with the top.
Oh Oh, I lost 3 more lbs over the holidays! I know right, who loses over the biggest fat consumption day of the year??? Denee Does!
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Happy Holidays All! I'm back. Hope everyone's Turkey Day was great. Mine was yummy, and awesome, It snowed in Texas! whoohoo. I got all decorated for christmas today and my apt is so pretty! :)
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Happy Turkey Day All.
To those of you I saw Saturday at the Fetish Ball, it was great! sorry I had to leave early.
I Won't be back around till sunday as I'm housesitting right now and I cant use thier comp.
I Hope Everyone, eats well and rests well!
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went to the neurologist today and im still at square one, just much,
much poorer. He did several tests, one with electrodes on different
nerves, and one one a needle poked all up and down my arm into
different muscles, then the normal reflex and strength tests and
everything checked out other than i have some numbness and tingling and
excruciating radiating stabbing pain and my had barely opens. the only
thing he told me was it was *probably* a swollen or inflamed nerve and
it would probably get better soon. Although when he told me he was
going to put me on a steroid that would help the swelling and that was
only taken short time and i fired back that they put me on Prednisone
on Friday, its not working, he seemed very shocked that I'm still how i
am. Anyways I'm sposed to sit this out, and TRY to go about my business
(i can barely dress, shower, etc) and see him again this next week.
We'll see.
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just in from the ER, they think its just a pinched nerve or stretched
nerve but the MRI's are fine. This just means now i don't have to wait
till Feb to see a neurosurgeon and they'll get me in this week to
finally sort it out but it definitely is nerve related. so kinda back
at square 1
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i woke up this morning without use of my hand. i
think.. or at least i hope all i have is a pinched nerve and my left
hand isn't working... its like handicapped, i can hardly type, as i've
been using 1 hand all day, work sucked cuz i am on the computer doing
data entry. it wont open, and i only really have use of my thumb and
forefinger, it's really kinda scary. I dunno, oh well! Another thing to
add to the list of "whats went wrong in Denee's life lately. it may
sound like i've been in a "feel sorry for me" mode, but that's the last
thing i want. trust me. I'm just trying to get input from people that
may know something that could help, or what im going through, or knows
someone that does.
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For all of you that read my journal and updates I thought I would follow up with the drinking and back issues i've been going through.
As for the drinking I thank all of you that have emailed me with all your support through this tough time. I can proudly say things are starting to pay off. I have lost 20 lbs recently. as well as lost the desire to care to drink finally! My friend came over the other night for dinner and brought some beer over and I thought about just having one, but I didn't, and she left it here and i've yet to touch it, it doesnt even sound good. Total difference from before. even if i didnt want it i'd force myself to drink so this is awesome. I've went 1 month 3 weeks now.
As for my back I went to the Dr. again today and I finally got a name put to my pain. In one way its a relief to know whats wrong other than the protrusion, the bulge, and arthritis because of just how much ive been hurting, but in another, it is totally depressing. I have Fibromyalgia. If you don't know what it is look it up. blegh. To think, the pain has just begun.
I'm really not very educated on it but i plan on looking it up and stuch, but if any of you have it or know anything about it, please I need all the information, pain relief ideas, and support i can get.
Thanks A/all, denee
posted on myspace:
So as a lot of my good friends know right now I have been having really bad back problems especially since February, and been seeing a Pain Management Clinic (Dr, Chiropractor, and Physical Therapy in the same office.)
They did an MRI a little over a month ago and I was told I had A protruding disk, bulging disk, and some Arthritis (nothing bad enough for surgery). I started physical therapy and water aerobics right away, And have don't ergonomically and physically that the Dr and Chiro told me to do, without any response to any of the treatments (including but not limited to, SEVERAL trigger point injections, 3 epidurals, etc) I have baffled my dr time and time again.
As of today I went into my Dr. for a checkup explaining all of this to her, and she started to gather some medical/mental history from me. at the end she followed with pushing on several trigger points to see if they were sore/tender. most every one was.
The Diagnosis? Fibromyalgia. I don't know whether to be happy they found out I'm not crazy that i really am in pain and we found it what it is, or to be depressed because there is no cure.
Physically and mentally I am the most stable i have EVER been in my life other than my back I was finally OFF of antidepressants, and now, I'm back on them since "SSRI's are one way to treat the symptoms." I was also given Lydocane patches for my back, pain pills, and sleep pills since it affects your sleep and energy.
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1 month, 4 days sober.
And it doesn't get any easier as the days go on.
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Damn them Chicago Bears. Damn them all to hell.
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Still sick today, going into work hoping to god they'll send me home. You know, it's funny how when you have pics up you get sooo many messages. but was soon as you change your main pic and its waiting for approval noone messages. There is more to a person than looks. but i guess i wouldnt message me without a pic either. hell i wouldnt message me WITH a pic. lol
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I'm home sick from work :-( So here's a little diddy for all to read:
My Mom Drugged me!
The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a
Methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining
county and he asked me a rhetorical question.
"Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were Growing up?"
I replied, I had a drug problem when I was young:
I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals.
I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather.
I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults.
I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie,
brought
home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the
teacher or the preacher, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in
everything that was asked of me.
I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I
uttered a profanity.
I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flower beds.
I was drug to the homes of family, friends, and neighbors to help out some
poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop
some
firewood; and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as
a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed..
Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behaviour in everything
I do, say, or think.
They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and if today's children
had this kind of drug problem, the world would be a better place.
God Bless the parents who drugged us.
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So a few of you have asked about my MRI results. They found a disk bulge, a disk protusion, and some Athritis. The plan for cure: start Physical Therapy, shed a few lbs, and try to do some swimming as its best for you and muscles but least strain. So tomorrow I start both Physical Therapy and then my mom and I start Water aerobics in the evening. I have quit drinking and I'm doing very well. Soon I'll ge lookin FINE with the weight I should be losing lol.
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Well my lindsey just left back to orlando... how sad :(... anyways...
Just so you know as most of you have prolly figured, I have decided not to do anything big for my birthday. I was thinking of doing something like having some sort of big party a week late (this coming weekend) since my best friend Lindsey was in town on my actual Birthday weekend, but have decided against that. If anyone wishes to make plans with me indivudually, like to take me out or hand out with me alone one night then more power to that, but after my Birthday on the 7th I've just decided that Birthdays are far too overrated.
Also I am really trying to stop drinking, ao a party would just not be all that fun now, would it? I know I'm young and it may seem silly or ridiculous for me to say that but I am not going to drink for quite some time until I can get a handle on myself and life as I drink far too much, then maybe I can start introducing it back into my life when it will be just an occasional thing, and i can trust myself on that.
Anyways, like I said, if you wish to take me out and do something with me for my birthday sometime this week or weekend, let me know! Maybe I can work something out.
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Hey guys, as any of you "good friends" should know I just Moved into a new apt and, Friday is my birthday. Unfortunately for most of you (as I know a lot of y'all wanted to do something with me for my birthday) but VERY fortunate for me, MY bestest friend Lindsey is flying into town this weekend for me. I don't want to make plans with anyone else as I wish to spend it with Lindsey cause her and I haven't seen each other in over a year. We may go to a club on Sunday. but Monday being a work day I know many aren't crazy of the idea. so do me a favor and if any of you are interested in ether next Friday or Saturday me having a smaller get together/party for my housewarming/ belated birthday and would like to come... let me know which night would be best for you ( the 14th or 15th) and if you are even interested. This is still up in the air for me as well.
also dont forget if you cant make it either way I'll take paypal donations haha
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hey everyone in DFW. I am DESPERATE!!! I need someone Saturday or Sunday the 25th /26th (next weekend!!!!!) that has a PICKUP TRUCK that can help me move a King Sized bed and Box springs from N Ft Worth Area (roanoke) to Addison Area. I will reimburse for gas/time. (with money, the little that i have... not sex or the like... sorry guys.) please email me asap for more info!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Reminder to self: start keeping your smart ass mouth shut, Denee! One word to describe tonight? Ouch. Someone come kiss my boo-boos. |
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guess I'll let everyone know how denee's little life has been going. To say more than busy would be an understatement. Work has been crazy upgrading to a new system, lots of learning, and on monday I have to train a new temp since the last person left. The temp is a man, so it should be fun... men think they know it all, hahaha, jk.
Other than the office I have been babysitting about every weekend lately and housesitting a lot. In fact I just got a long term job that will last from July 11 - August 20 and August 24 - September 4. The house is in beautiful historical uptown downtown, and they have 2 cute beagles. Not to mention the money I'll be raking in from it, and my real job, and being able to pay minimal bills at my apartment will be great. I still will have to pay the ATT because i have a year contract with them.
What stinks about this is I am going to have to find the time to get packed and move into my new apartment on August 25th as between now and then i will be in my apartment a total of uhm... 7 days? If anyone knows any good internet deals in DFW (high speed- broadband or wireless/phone packages) please let me know. I am paying about $80 a month now for my att wireless and phone plan and its just a little much. Also if there are any good electric companies that have cheaper rates than mine (I'm with Green Mountain)
On another note I have been in a bit of a funk lately. I have no idea what it is, but Im just kinda blah. I think its being overtired and working myself too much, but i dont know how to say no when someone asks for help, and when it comes to extra money.
I'm going to the TNG meeting this coming Friday at the Sanc. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/DallasTNG/ It's a perfect opporitunity to meet others around our age in the community. The next meeting is at The Sanctuary, Friday July 13th. The group meets there once a month on the second friday. It's free to go to the meeting that starts at 7pm sharp, and then only $20 to join the after party that occurs. All you have to do is join the group.
I have a Domme Friend from Cali staying with me while she finds a job and looks for an apartment. And actually It's time to go watch a movie with her now.
If you actually read this and have questions/comments or anything you'd care for me to blog about, let me know. Anything stupid, ridiculous, or sexual will be immediatly deleted, as morons are not tolerated. |
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Wow today was one LONG day at work. The other girl that worked with me doing what i do decided it would be fun to walk out and not come back at lunch. she put in her 2 weeks notice monday but just up and walked out today. I could call her about every name in the book right now. She really screwed our department as she was very knowlegable in the business and our fastest order entry person. Now most of this load is on me. yes my coworkers are trying but on top of doing what i do i have to start answering phones= pretending to know what im talking about. Needless to say, by sat i will have worked 50 hours this week, and next week im going to be putting at least 6 days in, if not working 12 days straight (mon- following fri, with a full day sat) All I can say is Overtime. I am hurting for the monrey right now so it only helps... but i'm exausted. i wanna cuddle up in someones arms right now... but there's noone to do that with, lmao.
Hope y'all have had a less stressfull week than I.
<3 Denee
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Just wanted to say thanks to those of You out there that subscribed to my journal, sorry I'm not exactly the most interesting read by any means.
I have made what seems to be a lot of cool friends on here lately.
If you drop by my profile and like what you see, friends or else, feel free to message, Sorry I don't always respond to them, I get quite a few, and the trolls seem to ruin it for the good guys and gals.
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So things seem to be going swell. I got approved for my new apartment today, yay. its so much nicer, and in a much much MUCH nicer neighborhood, getting me out of the ghetto in which i currently live. and another up is thats its less than 4 miles from work. thank god no more stop and go traffic. I will again be residing alone... i live so much better alone when i'm not in a relationship. Move in will be when this lease is up in the end of august. i spose i'll sign another year lease. This makes Denee happy. Things seem to be going great for me since i left the job at the club. main thing right now is money, so im kinda looking for some part time baby/house/petsitting for an occasional thing for some extra cash. this coming weekend i'm going to be watching my moms best friends place, so that will be a nice jump start on the cash, which is good cause i am BROKE! heh. but its okay, because i'm independent and on my feet.
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headed out to sanc- may mentor madness. maybe i'll see some of y'all there. come up and say hi to me if ya see me.
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Yay, so I got some plane tickets today to go see my brother and his family in new mexico on April 5-8th. It was an unexpected trip, but my mom found super cheap tickets into El Paso ($111) so i jumped at the chance. I havent seen any of them since last June, and my neice is now a year and a month old. Not fair. My nephew is soo big too. He turns 5 in Sep. yay! plus i love flying so yay!
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I have come to the realisation that i really need a Dom. i need guidance, a strict hand, etc. but this Someone needs to be in DFW or moving here soon, because i need something thats not going to be sporadic. i really need someone in my life to set me straight again... but theres a lot of straightening up i need... it's been over a year since i was owned.
And a note to a respected Dom... about the Dave encounter:
Acutally sunday was a really good thing/eye opener for me... and i'l really
glad i saw him. I finally am able to not care anymore. i know you said it
was just giving him control but seeing him and seeing how he tried to act
like a douche to me as he always did was a great refresher, and it helped
remove every last ounce of anything he may have held over me. i'm now more
ready and willing to go out to events because im not afraid of running into
him like i was before. and I realised I really want to get back into the
community, which before i was hung up on that because all i could think of
was dave, and how odd it was to be a part of it without him. So yeah i
totally agree i need to get more control of myself, but i finally got a grip
of the past. therefore, i am proud of myself.
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I updated my photos... a lot of good pics were taken last night, i couldn't resist. The first 6 photos have some new ones in them
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So I went to the Midori event at The Church last night. It was purely awesome. I had a great time with a great friend and ran into a lot of old friends. It was just awesome, no other words to explain.
I got to see Amanda again, a friend from way back, I ran into Sir Clint which was nice to actually get to say hi and talk for a few minutes in person, I stumbled into an old friend from High School whom I hadn't seen in ages and that was definately a cool thing, I saw Father Tim which is always a nice thing (and got flogged hehe), ran into one or two people from this good ol' website.. etc you get the point.
But the person that I ran into to impact me the most was Dave. I had heard after I'd gotten there that he was supposed to come and I wasn't sure if i was ready or cared to see him. Well then I saw him at the bar but went my own way cause my heart just sank. I think it actually hit the floor. A little bit later I went to the bar to get mindy and i something else to drink and i ran into the old highschool friend and i said something, and i heard an answer to my rambling so i looked back to see who it was and i think we were both as suprised to see eachother, because low and behold it was Dave. He tried making small-talk as he said he wanted to be "civil". And in this few seconds talking my heart completely picked itself up and i wondered why the hell i'd gotten so worried before. All the times he treated me so shittily were replayed in my head, and he stood there like such a douchebag lol. he was wearing this big ol jacket he'd had before we got together over a year and a half ago and it never was a nice looking jacket. something i'd give a bum on the street. but he wore it all night in the club where everyone else was half-naked even outside in the cold lol.
I am so glad im saw him again because it had been about a year since the last time id seen him, and this just made me remember how unhappy he made me, and give me the last little bit of closure i didn't really need but helps just the same. sealed the deal.
What else was amusing was i saw him trying to chat with several different girls, but then the next time id see him he'd be all alone lol. And Mindy (a good friend of mine for like 5 years, and daves ex before me) borrowed one of the guys crops and went and found dave and hit him with the crop twice and ran off. classic. hahaha.
All in all it was a great night, good times with great people, good closure, and a flogging. (oh and some bite mark bruises on my boob :| ... mindy.)
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Why don't people ever care about MY feelings... look at what I may want or need. I shouldn't have to say no to someone because i am pretty vocal about my emotions and i feel i communicate my thoughts and crap pretty good, but if people would just take the crap out of their ears and LISTEN. It's just like Dave, i hate to compare anyone to him, but he didn't listen to my communication either. He didn't care. Why doesn't anyone ever care about what denee needs. I am so physically, mentally and emotionally exausted right now, and all i got told was pretty much to stop whining. This person doesn't know me.. yeah they may have woken up earlier than i did, yeah they may have more of a workload than i do, but they are not me, and my body is different than theirs. I am really starting to reevaluate my submissiveness, because when i can't express myself, and have my needs taken into consideration, i get a little irked. it's BS, to say the least. I want to be able to have my input considered and not scoffed because "they're the dom" and "they said so." This is another reason i have been evaluating the situation with the
guy i've been seeing so much... He doesn't make me feel like all i am
is a peice of meat. he makes me feel like a person, and i love that.
i dont have to feel like somethings expected of me all the time, it's
nice.
On another note... My second cousin is in complete liver failure in Montana from years of
being an alcoholic. His only hope, the doctors say, at this point,
would be a complete liver transplant. He's been in the hospital for a
week and has been kept restrained as he is very delirious and fighting
a lot. He's only 37 and has been an alcoholic since he was 14. The
disease runs in out family... Kinda makes me step back and revaluate..
(as i take a sip of my beer, heh) Anyways, if you would just keep him
in your thoughts and for the believers out there, prayers.
Another person to keep in your prayers and thoughts is my Brother,
Nathan and his family as he goes through his life changing ordeal. He
wasn't able to reenlist in the airforce for a number of reasons and
therefore will be leaving the Airforce and on a new road in less than 6
months. Right now we're not sure where they will be moving or what
he'll be doing. I hope he moves back to dfw as Lockheed Martin and a
number of other aircraft places are close by, but as long as he is
safe, and finds a good job I'll be happy for him.
My car was in the shop again for work while its under warranty, and ive
been doing overtime this week. I am exausted, mentally, physically,
and emotionally since i have not been taking my pills and been trying
to get off of them...
Otherwise the new job is doing well... a full time job is a wearing
this, now i have empathy for my mom when she always would say she was
tired cause she was working and i'd reply "but you just sat at the comp
all day"
Maybe I need to start taking my antidepressants again. arg.
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Who's going to Bruised and Bloody Valentine at the Sanctuary this sat? I may show for my friend Shelly... but i dunno it's still odd since i'm single and all, and i have only went there once when i wasn't owned.
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So one year ago today is when Dave left me. A Year ago on the 7th is when I left him. Saying this makes this rush of peace go over me. It's so refreshing.
6 months ago i definately wouldn't have been able to say that. 6 months ago i still loved him, still thought i had done something wrong, still thought about the "ifs" If i had of just tried harder, if i would have just done what he said more often, if i woulda just not been so affectionate, if if if.
Today I look back and see how unhealthy the relationship was. How shittily he treated me. How unhappy i was 99% of the time. Today when i say we've been through a year i feel so good, and i smile.
I do still despise being single though. I miss being in a relationship. I really do. I havent been in a relationship in a year. The closest thing to one was with ----- but that was just fuckbuddies... i dont think he realised i liked him as much as i did, and he didn't wanna be with me other than screwing anyways.
I've been dating this one guy, and I like him a lot. It's nice because we're taking things slow, I don't feel like he expects anything from me... but I don't know what he really thinks of me. I'm used to people just using me. Besides; I'm entirely too self consious. I think He's way too good for me. That's my major hangup.
Anyways, enough whining and bitching from me...
Denee
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Well I gave my 2 week notice at the club tonight. It had nothing to do with the unfortunate event last weekend. (btw, he's doing alright and home from the hospital. He has to have reconstructive surgery and some nerve damage repair. The guys did hit his Jugular, but not deep enough... a millimeter deeper and he'd be dead.) The main reason i gave notice was because they wanted me to start working Sundays which would mean i'd be working 7 days a week. Not to mention with my new job it was just too hard working till 2 am thurs and then starting sundays soon, and getting up at 6:30 the next morn. I missed work today because of it.
So what does this mean for denee? Well, starting in 2 weeks i'll finally be able to have a little bit of a life (i say a little cause ill be broke.) I may be able to start going to the Sanc sometimes now!! I dunno though... its still hard going to events and stuff being single, b/c i've been out of the community so much since a year ago. yes, it's been a year now since he and I called it quits. hard to believe.
Anywho, thats the latest update.
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Myspace Blog:
Monday, January 29, 2007
How one little stupid choice can change a life...
Current mood: aggravated
Category: Parties and Nightlife
If
you were at Club *** on Saturday you're probably wondering what
all the police were there for, and why the area by the front door was
blocked with police tape. Well, if you haven't already heard, one of
our awesome security guys were in a most unfortunate accident.
While trying to stop a huge fight one of the stupid drunk people
took a broken beer bottle and decided to stab Justin (our security guy)
in the neck/throat. At first Gia, Vero and I didn't know what was
wrong, and it looked like he was throwing up blood, so i get on my cell
and call 911 and they're asking me all these stupid q's about what
happened if he was shot and stuff... im like i dont know what happened,
there was a fight now hes bleeding. next thing i know they're yelling
put pressure on it and Gia is sobbing and freaking out and told me to
go help him cause she couldnt.
So one of the other security guys took his shirt off and i had to
hold that on his neck/face (at this time i didnt know where he was
cut.) I can't get the picture of his face out of my head. he was so
pale and so worried looking. He just kept saying he wanted to throw up.
The EMT guys came and justin just wanted thier "fucking lights out
of his face" and they removed the shirt and i finally saw why Gia was
in such udder shock. the cut was in his neck/throat and it was huge
and deep. i could probably have stuck my hand in it.it was bad.
When they brought him away the police taped the area off as "Crime
Scene" and Gia kept asking me if he was going to be alright. And i felt
so bad i couldn't honestly tell her yes or no after seeing the cut. I
was afraid it had went through his main artery. Justin is only in his
early 20's and definately didn't deserve this at all when he was just
trying to stop a fight and keep peace in the club. One person's
drunken stupidity almost cost him his life. One little stupid decision.
That's right, i said almost. Justin is alright and will make it,
although they missed his main artery in his neck by inches and he
almost bled to death there at the club. Yes, he almost bled to death
in my arms, as i tried to apply pressure. He will have to have plastic
surgery, will have some nerve damage, and there will be a prety bad
scar, so i hear. At least he'll be okay.
Just remember how one little decision, In this case one too many
drinks and a blown up bar fight, can change someones life forever. I
hope the person that did this to him pays the biggest consequences.
(yes they did get the guy and several of the other stupid asses that
were in the fight too.)
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So after a LOT of drama and crying and BS today I ended up calling Drivetime- a car sales place for people with bad credit and no credit (which i have no credit established yet)- just to see what they had to say because I got a call saying my cars transmission was going to have to be opened up and inspected which meant a minimum of $380 and a estimated Max of $2000 when all was said and done.
My car (a 1999 Ford Taurus) is a POS and i've had nothing but problems with it, and not 3 months ago dished out $400 for the brakes to be replaced, not to mention alignment, tie rod problems, etc that needs to be worked on. It definately isnt worth spending $2000 on a new transmission.
So after confirming a friend of mine could loan me a couple hundred to help on the money i really dont have, but could come up with for a down payment if necessary, my mom and i went to DriveTime to see if i could get approved and how much it would cost, etc., with the little credit i do have.
Well folks, I am now the mighty proud Owner of a 2002 Pontiac Sunfire. 2 door, 5 speed, sunroof, manual locks and windows (but that's okay), CD Player, Cruise Control. yay. it was 13,000 and its in MY name. That's right folks, i bought it. Alllllll mine.
On the down side of things I gave my dog away tonight. My babygirl, my life. But, i had to stop being selfish and do what was best and right for her, which was not spending countless hours a day in a kennel as i work two jobs. So I have her to a good friend of mine who wanted her before and trains dogs, and can train her to be her Service Dog for her epilepsy, which will also be a huge help for my friend. Missy really needed someone who could spend time with her, train her, and give her the attention she needs as hyper a dog as she is. Doesn't make it any easier on me though. I'm so sad :( But I can go see her whenever and Kat (my friend) said I can still be "momma" and she'll still be my baby. So that's nice.
And so is my car.
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My transmission in my car went out right as i was pulling in the parking lot to my job this morning. freaking sucky. So right now i have no car and my mom came and brought me home for the night and we'll have to get me a rental tomorrow. I dont know how im going to pay for the fix, and i dont really see spending the money to get this pos fixed anyway, but i dont have the money for a new car either. Dont really have the money for a rental either but i have to have something.
BUT, i found out this morning i got a "new job"/promotion. i say promotion because its with the staffing company I've been working for at the Company I've been temping at. They like me there a lot, and many of the friends I've made there have been pushing for them to give me a full time temp position, if not hire me on full time. Unfortunately everytime they gave me more work it was only a couple day job. On Tuesday last week I found a job position on the company's website in Customer service and jumped at the chance and applied. Well friday I got a call asking if I would go full time mon-fri in the Customer Service Department doing some Microsoft Word and Excel stuff too. I was like duh! They didn't really have all the stats but I got a call today and I got the job! I start Wednesday. The job has no end date (as I'm still through the temp agency) and they said Armstrong (the company I'll be working at) may hire me on their payroll before long! They must really like me, theres a few temps that have been there for ages and yet ive been there off and on for 2 months and they're talking about hiring me. If they do they have to pay this big chunk of money to "buy" me from the temp company. With all this i also got another pay increase. $0.50 more than i was making last there, and $1.50 more than the first job they gave me there.
I'll have my own email address and phone # and cubical and... yay!!! go me!!!
Oh yeah, and my tooth is still out of whack. :( how sad. It hurts. I have another week and a half before they can do anything, and not many more pain pills :(. |
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Omg I'm in so much pain. I have an abcessed tooth, and my dentist only gave me enough pain pills to last MAYBE through sunday, and she doesnt want to give me any more cuz she wants me to have the root canal, but i don't get Dental insurance till Feb. 1. So yeah, im in a dilemma.
Any Drs wanna prescribe me pain pills? lol or anyone wanna gimme some? come on... ill pay ya... hahahaha
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A few of you have been wondering what one of my IM names may be... well, you can reach me on aim as o0denee0o but when you write please tell me your CM name
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I am so bored. I should be working on my Defensive Driving that i just started today and is due on wednesday. i'm so bad. I have no self control.... lol. I'm hungry too. I also have a whole apt that needs to be cleaned, it's pretty bad. gah, i just don't wanna get off my ass.
Speaking of being bored, i havent gotten too many messages on here lately... lmao... i think either my profile or blog scared them away, yet the ones i still get are people laughing at the blog, or more idiots.
Poor me, I know.
Time to go get dressed and make a food run... and i guess i SHOULD take the dog out... hmmm
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HateMail
From: Jerkoff
Date: 2006-12-28 20:09
Subject: can i just spank uand fuck u?
no strings attached.
-- i ignored the message--
From: Jerkoff
Subject: RE: what.no reply?
Date: 1/1/2007 4:56:00 PM
thats very rude.
To: Jerkoff
Subject: RE: what.no reply?
Date: 1/1/2007 8:27:00 PM
i'm a rude girl, what can i say? Oh i can say READ A FUCKING PROFILE!
From: Jerkoff
Subject: RE: what.no reply?
Date: 1/2/2007 1:37:00 PM
your username is fuck me pritty and you offended
if someone ask u to fuck??????
ever concedered the possibility u may be stupid?
To: Jerkoff
The irony of you calling me stupid yet misspelling pretty, (which is part of my screen name and right in front of your face,) and a few other words in your small paragraph, not to mention your grammar and the fact that you can't spell out the word YOU, is uncanny. Ever consider that you may be illiterate?
Error Sending Email!
That user has blocked email from you.
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haha i thought this email was amusing, hope i'm not the only one! :
"HI this R-- im here in Dallas right now i was Borned
here but i do alot of traveling do to the fact i own sme
companys and have alot of employes and always hireing more
and im trying to find my self a personale asset, but
anyways girl you are hot and should be spoiled can you
contact me lets get to know each other and who knows maybe
i could make you a very happy lady what do you say my
phone at the hotel is ----- and or my cell is ----- or e-mail me at ---- so hurry ok its up to you baby girl your friend and more R--."
I responded to this email with:
"For owning some "companys" (companies) and having "alot" (a lot) of
"employes" (employees) and always "hireing" (hiring) more and looking
for a "personale asset;" (i'm assuming you mean -personal assistant-
because an asset is Any item of economic value owned by an individual
or corporation, especially that which could be converted to cash,) You
sure don't know your spelling and grammar!"
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lol, wtf is up with all these "you have a pretty face" or "i like your face" messages? There's a lot more to me than my face, Guys!!!! do i take that as a compliment? i mean shit! lol
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So
I got home after work tonight, an hour earlier than usual, and i walk
in to my suprise which is my neighbor Ashlee (A male) Cleaning my
apartment. At this time He was pretty much finished. I was
speechless. This what the best christmas present EVER!!! I have been
SOO so stressed lately with working both jobs, and stressed about my
apartment, and this huge burden was lifted off my chest. He is an
angel. Wow. It seriously couldnt have been more perfect timing. I
wanted to cry lol, but didnt, go me!
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So
I started a job on Thursday last week doing part time filing at a
company in N. Dallas for $9.50 an hour. I got this job through my temp
agency. As we were leaving the office on Thursday my Supervisor, Reba
asked me about the part time position and if I only wanted two days a
week. I responded, "No, but that's all the staffing agency had to
offer, I'd prefer a full-time job." Well that day things were left at
that.
When I went in on Tuesday this week Reba said "have you talked to
-insert name i forgot here-?" I said no, and she continued, "Well she
wants you to get us your resume and we'll see if we have any open
full-time positions for you." So I get the staffing company to fax
over my resume and it ends at that for the day.
Today i get a call from the staffing agency saying "they want to know
if you want to work full-time" im like hell yes... so she says "two
days a week you'll be doing the filing, and three days a week you'll be
working in their customer service department." I'm like hell yeah, and
then she adds, "and they're giving you a raise to $10.50 an hour."
HELL FREAKIN YEAH!
So thats a dollar raise and a full-time position... i got a raise and
promotion kinda in 2 days of working for them. how awesome is that? I
so rock.
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Hey y'all, I'm having a Pampered Chef Party in which all items ordered will be in by Christmas if you order as gifts. There is an online ordering option for all you Pampered Chef Fans out of the area. Let me know if you'd like to order and I ill get you the link. All orders will be processed by Dec 15th and the party in the 10th. Thanks!
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http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/113006dnmetdartax.34e2635.html
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So my apt complex may be on the news soon, like any minute. I was at my neighbors apt and looked out the window and there were cop lights everywhere, and cops were blocking off the firestation across the street from us, as well as up by the DallasRapidAreaTransit Rail tracks. So we call down to the security officer for our apartments.... APARENTLY some man went to the fire station saying he was going to commit suicide... the firemen didnt believe him, so he went and layed down on the train tracks and low and behold... He killed himself Very well! omg eww.... so if you check out www.dallasnews.com tomorrow and look up train track suicides for north dallas tonight, i saw that shit in person...
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So lately I have talked to many of my really good real life friends that also have profiles on here and have found out that Doms that have been talking to me have also been talking to them.
One in particular is more new to this lifestyle and one that i am very very protective of as she has some issues that different things can trigger very easily and only certain people know how to deal with them. I have grown even more protective in the past day as her and I have really gotten to talking and she has told me some of the stuff different doms have talked to her about, wanted to do with her, etc... Or just things they have told her, and how Naive and over-trusting she has been with them because of how submissive she is.
This worries me! She is a stubborn girl and one to do her own thing, but one small naive decision on her part, or stupid one on some "Dom's" part, can affect all of us friends of hers that are here for her and help her with her other issues that affect her daily.
We're the ones that have to pick up the peices in the long run...
This has also lead me to the realisation that.... This is a small community... I am good friends with many people in this area on this site, and a few NOT in this area. even those NOT in this area (IE: my bestest friend in Miami) have gotten emails and people that are hitting on me trying to get with me, doing the same with them... I am VERY protective of all of my friends... and you say something fishy to me, i will be the first to warn them against you. Rest assured. also, fuck with them, and i won't be a happy camper.
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Add me on my-space! my name is their URL plus /deneerochelle |
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I think I may be going to DFW Bound tonight, my friend's really trying to convince me. Anyone else out there going?
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Things didn't work out with the Dom that i was looking into this week. We weren't right for each other, and so many things struck resemblence to the "Ex". So, no need to email anyone to ask if you may chat with me! haha |
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"Man of the House"
The husband had just finished reading a new book, 'YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE" He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, "From now on, YOU need to know that I AM the MAN of this house, and my word is law! You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me, and we will have the sex that I want. After that, you are going to draw me my bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then you will massage my feet and hands. Then after that's done, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
His wife replied, "The f*cking funeral director would be my guess." |
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OMG i nearly just pissed my pants when i recieved this, hahahahaha....
" ugly c*nts like you who do nothing but read profiles and get all ass hurt who make me hate this site. Since I have actually met someone through here who's coming in 2 weeks, the opinion of a f*cking whale like you means absolutely nothing. It's f*cking c*nts like you who sit around online playing with yourself, talking in third person, and thinks that having someone simply call her names while f*cking you in the ass makes you submissive. F*ck you, mind your own f*cking business, and get on a diet." |
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IF ANYONEEEEE!!! knows someone that sells cheap comps, pref laptops, or has one i can buy, pref w a payment option... i would be soooo sooo greatful, in love, and in debt to you. My computer crashed on me, which almost doesnt suprise me as its a shit e-machines desktop i got in 11th grade (when i was 16/17....) This payment option does NOT NOT NOT include any sort of sexual activity!!! i may be a "whore" but i am not a WHORE. if anyone would care to contribute to the "Denee is a poor bitch" Fund.... i also have a paypal. :-D pleaseee help... my laptop fucked up on me a year + ago, so now i have 2 shit comps. My mom is only letting me borrow her gateway desktop for a limited time.
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Penis breath, a lover's dread
Is what you get when you give head
Unpleasant as it tends to be
Be grateful that he doesn't pee
It's times like this, you wonder why
you bothered reaching for his fly
But it's too late, can't be a tease
Accept the facts, get on your knees
You know you've got a job to do
So open wide and shove it through
Lick the tip then take it all
Don't drag your teeth or he might bawl
Slide up and down, use your tongue
And feel the precum start to run
So when the fuck's he gonna cum
Just, when you can't take anymore
You hear your lover's mighty roar
And when he hits that real high note
You feel it oozing down your throat
Salty, fishy, sticky, yuck!y stuff
Okay, already that's enough
Let's switch you say, before you gag
And what's your revenge, you're on the rag. |
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hahaha my messages slowed down when i turned 21.... this makes me think how many true pervs there are out there... which isnt always a bad thing hah |
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I love this feeling... That high i get when i take a shot of vodka... that warm fuzzy feeling after the burning subsides. Makes the burning totally worthwhile. It makes depression fade away... if only for a few minutes... But those few minutes are all it takes. This is probably why many people become alcoholics, heh.
I need another job soooo bad. living not just paycheck to paycheck, but day by day, is adding more to my depression than i need; as if it needed to be added to.
I need to open my textbooks and start studying. its ridiculous, ive been in school a month and opened them once. yeah... once. ugh.
I need stability in my life. A day job so i can get out of my house and stop sleeping day in and day out till 2 pm. This too feeds my depression.
I need friends i can count on. all the ones i have live so so far.. sometimes a phone call is just too far away.
The only thing i have in my life that is stable...that i can count on to be there for me 100% of the time..... that has unlimited love for me....... is my dog.
She is my life... she is what causes the depression to subside... again if only for a few moments, but those few moments are all it takes sometimes. when she wipes my tears away with her wet tounge, when she jumps on me and licks me in the morning to wake me up... the way she looks at me when i look at her, or tell her i love her... or her little gestures when she wants to play. The nibbles at me leg, the jumping... and the best is the way she gives me kisses..... all i have to do is say "Give me kisses" and shes licking all over my face.... Shes so smart. Shes my everything.... shes my baby... I am so glad i was able to keep her at my apt. That i didnt listen when people told me to get rid of her that she needed more attention than i could give her. Maybe im being selfish... but if it keeps me from hurting myself, or wanting to hurt myself, does that make it alright?
Isnt there a man out there like my missy? once upon a time i thought dave was..................................... |
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Happy Birthday to me... Things ended up getting better and so fat the b-day has been a great one... except for having to work tonight |
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5 hours until my 21st... ive been waiting for this momeny for a long time... yet right now i wanna cry. my mom ended up canceling plans because i overslept. she couldnt wait just a little bit to bring in my birthday dinner with me. no, she tells me "maybe monday" monday isnt the same.... wtf.... ugh. |
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Plans for my 21st Birthday Bash and Apt. warming have been set. For more info on this Sunday, September 10th event, message me ASAP! If you would like to donate $ i would also be very appreciative... i have paypal... I am very broke ($20 to last at least another week) and need money for food, gas, and a few odds and ends of more expensive things i still need for my apartment. Thank you so much y'all!
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If anyone knows of anyone in the Dallas area that is hiring please let me know. i need a day job as i'm not making enough just working my night job! Please! i am a hard worker, and i have office/receptionist experience, type 39 wpm, cashier experience, im a certified nursing assistant, im a FAST learner and willing to learn new things! ill do any kind of work... well except anything that may be on the verge of prostitution... people. lol. Give a subbie the hookup.
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Hmmmm... so tonight i called Dave.... He was my ex and first 24/7. guess i wanted closure, last time we talked things ended so badly. I dont know yet if talking to him helped any or not... but yeah... uhm 8 days till i turn 21!! whoohooo
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Dang Skippy!! Sorry i've been AWOL y'all, but have no fear, I'm back! im finally moved in (and almost settled) into my new OWN apt... all by MYSELF (well except for the adorable love of my life... my pup) And I just got my DSL set up!!!! So... i am BACK with a vengance
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Hey everyone, sorry i've been kinda AWOL lately, just bear with me a couple more days while i get my net set up at my New Apartment. That's right, denee got her own apartment again and is happily living aloneeee!
Although i'm living in quite the ghetto, haha. its okay though, the undercover police that were circling through the apts yesterday have surely got my back. i hope. haha.
Seems im getting a lot of support on my last journal entry, too. thanks guys! |
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So i got messaged on yahoo by someone today.... and i just thought it was amusing... so before i share the anonymous thread here is a little background...
My Lifestyle of choice is definately not Gorean, although i have nothing against those who do practice it for a living, to each their own. But please do not come and pushing your beliefs in my face. Do not email me and expect me to call you Master so and so and speak in the third person... this wont happen, and i'll come across as being a bitch...because i don't take peoples crap.
Me: hi
Him: Master here
Him: You may call be Brandon
Me: lol... i 'may' huh
Him: *nods*
Him: Collarme.com > *******
Me: well uhm thanks for the permission...
Me: i guess
Him: I do not like the tone
Him: Fix it
Me: lol, i need not do anything you tell me my dear
Me: you are not my dom
Him: Are you a lifestylist?
Me: yes. but that doesnt mean i need to answer to you.
Him: Because I may not be your Dom...however I am a respected member of the community, and an experienced Dominant
Him: You will not get far in DFW with that attitude...
Him: I messaged you to say hi and welcome you to dallas ( that is if your new )
Me: nope
Me: been here 10 years
Him: Oh, you seem new
Him: and your attitude isnt submissive
Him: I would change your profile to arrogant switch
Him: possibly sarcastic
Me: i dont answer to anyone but myself, i am not owned and dont need people messaging me telling me i MAY call them so and so
Him: Your profile shows you to be submissive....
Him: It is misleading and needs to be corrected
Me: i am a respected member of the community too.
Him: Absolutly not in my book
Me: my profile says im not a doormat
Me: it is point blank.
Me: you dont know me in person
Him: Nor do i want too
Me: i dont appreciate being pushed around by people i dont know
Me: i expect respect too
Him: I have given you nothing but respect..
Me:: anyways, im going to have dinner
Him: Remove your self from my chat window please
Him: and ignored
Me: rofl
Me: **** off
Him: reported
Him: thanks
Him: just what i wanted
Me: they wont do anything, you messaged me
Me: dumb***
what did he do wrong one may ask? First of all introduced himself as Master... im sorry but i dont have a Master; thats great if hes the master of his right and left hands, but you'll be lucky if i even call you Sir when we first meet. I expect respect just as much as you. Second he told me i MAY call him brandon... well i may call you a dern fool if i please too, and well look, i am!
Please don't mistake this as me being rude or whatnot, but i dont take just anyones crap.
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i'm in the middle of a move right now, so i wont be around much for the next week or so, but i'll be back soon |
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Copied and pasted from my Myspace Blog:
Blah
Current mood:  blah
Category: Life
So
i lost my mail in perscription of my anti-depressants and other meds
and dude let me just tell you... i freaking hate being dependant on
them bitches. I have been an emotional wreck in not taking them for the
last few days. It's horrible.
I'm not thinking about Dave as much anymore... go me. the dreams (or nightmares) have stopped for now. woot.
I
am going to Majorly slow down on drinking. Im getting rid of some of
the last i have tonight, and then im not buying anymore. Very rare
occasions like my 21 in sep will be drinkin times.. The very first
step is admitting i have a problem. I do drink too much... i just like
the taste. But when i spend what LITTLE money i have on alcohol? yeah
no good.
Still huge hole in my tooth, fun stuff. Still big ass boot on my foot... even more fun.
Last
but not least come to our damn Car Show after party July 30 at
purgatory. and come to the car show. mhm. well be lookin for you,
message me for more info
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Okay, i HATE Justin Timberlake... but His new song "Sexy Back" has some cool lyrics...
"Dirty Babe --You See These Shackles Baby I'm Your Slave -- I'll Let You Whip Me If I Misbehave -- It's Just That Noone Makes Me Feel This Way"
Haha Classic
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Okay some people have been requesting updates from me. Didn't really know anyone cared lol. My puppy is doing well. She's growing like a weed and is so beautiful. she's so smart too. If i hadn't of gotten her shed be dead... she was not in good shape when she came to me. She sure is my baby :) Anyways in other news... i'm just waiting to start my new second job... if i get it for sure.... heh. I'm doing much better since the ex and I split. it's been 5 months now.
I've been in so much pain lately. first i fractured my foot and have been wearing a big boot for 7 weeks now, and have to wear it for 3 more. And now i found out after a trip to the Dentist yesterday that i was in pain because part of my tooth had broken off and its down to almost a milimeter before the nerve is showing. So, i have to have a root canal. But its going to be 8 days before i even go to the Endodontist for the consultation. :| it sucks.
So thats whats up with me.
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YAY... i drove to amarillo today and got my puppy. She is a 2 month (maybe a little more) female German shepard/ Husky mix... but except for a small amount of her facial features and fur she looks total German shepard. She is so sweet and loveable. im so glad i got her, she wasnt getting correct treatment with her last "family" wheee!
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I think CM has rethought their hatred of me, and Yesterday (3/6/06 i recieved an email saying 2 pics were wrongly rejected and were restored... so i think they like, suspended my acct when my pics were rejected? hmm, anywho yeah, all is well and i can email people again... the unfortunate part... i am being bombarded by emails... i thought it was luck that i hadnt been, lmao.. |
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