I am simply amazed how many men have no trouble flat-out lying to me. You'd think at my age I'd be used to this behavior, yet it still surprises me every single time. Each time one of these boys pledges his fealty to me and is gone in two days, or tells me he'd do anything for a beating from my crop, then turns and runs, I am surprised. I still expect honesty, ethics, and loyalty. Clearly, I'm looking in the wrong places. 

Yesterday was a delight, and I'd love to do it again soon. A spanking session with my porno pet was fun for both of us, and he left bruised and happy! Later, a munch, a few drinks, and some foot time. Too bad today wasn't as fun. 

Being a domme with chronic pain issues sucks, and not the good way. The weather in Portland has been up and down the last two weeks, causing me such severe fibro flares that some days I couldn't even get out of bed, let alone raise a paddle! And the chronic migraine I've been dealing with since my last medication change just gets worse; I've been in the ER twice in the last two months for those fabulous shots that finally give me some relief. 

However, I am determined to get back in the swing of things, one way or another. 

Respect is not just a song, people. Have some. When someone spends time and energy talking to you, do not just vanish like a feather on the wind! It's just plain rude, and certainly does not make anyone wish to play with you in the future. 

Today, someone I love dearly had double by-pass surgery after her second heart attack in a year. She was a preemie, and had some heart issues as a child, but years of abuse have made things worse. See, as a child, her father's drinking, and her mother's bouts with cancer and bipolar disorder (and her eventual death from cancer), scarred this girl, sending her running into the arms of every risky behavior she could find. Sex with strangers, comfort eating, and drugs. She avoided the booze that enticed her father and brother, but the sugar and meth got her; now she has diabetes, as well as this heart valve problem. Plus, she is in debt because she spends all her money on drugs. 

My heart is broken for her, as she struggles to recover and rebuild her life. And I was angry, sitting with her yesterday, as we read the idiotic posts some of you have sent me about my size and how I should be taking better care of myself. As if any of you truly care. 

I am not defensive about many things in my life, but my weight is one of them. Being a big girl is never easy, or a lot of fun. But being an idiot cannot be fun, either, so I should probably ignore you dorks. 

For the record, I will not be answering any more messages that in any way reference my size, simply because my weight is none of your fucking business. If you want to harass fat people, go somewhere else. Get a life. I have one, and it doesn't involve you. What it involves is helping my friend recover from her surgery, and together, we will build a future. Without drugs, fuckheads, or broken hearts. 

Is there something about my profile that calls out to all the weirdo control freaks and makes them want to tell me what is wrong with my life? How they can fix it? 

Holy mother of god, I am an adult with a fully-functioning brain, a college education, a home, and a quite fulfilling life! I do not need help from some loser on this or any other website! Trust me, if I needed help, this would be the LAST place I would come!! 

It amazes me, how many so-called "men" on this site are truly terrified of pro-dommes! Clearly these women are here because there are men who are willing and eager to pay for their time. Calling these women names, or being rude to them is wrong. Such hatred and fear is totally out of line in this community. I may not like your kink, but I am not going to be mean, especially here, in a place where we are all looking for something that the vanilla world thinks is wrong. So just GET THE HELL OVER IT, and if you don't like it, GO AWAY!! 

After begging me to call or text or email you, telling me how desperately you want to be mine, and when I DO call or text or email, you don't answer? WTF? NOT the way to show me your dedication and desire, boy. Ignoring your prospective domme is a quick way to be eliminated. Playing hard to get does NOT earn you any points here. 

Idiots. 

I've had a ton of email in the last week, and it's been tough getting back to everyone in a timely manner. If I've missed you, well, don't get your panties in a bunch. Drop me a reminder, and be nice! Mistress will be with you when she has time. 

My latest fantasies involve dressing my sub in girlish clothes, training him in the ways of a good sissy slut, having a bit of punishment and pleasure for both of us. Is that wrong?

Reading an email from a friend, and fellow Domme, about how she and a few others staged a "sissy intervention" for a fellow we all knew in college. He was known then to be a terrible player, always treating women badly. His marriage, to another friend, is on the rocks, and she came to this friend for help. This man is now embarking on a journey into sissydom, learning how to treat women with the respect they deserve. The pictures and video of him, the former football star, in his ruffled panties and patent leather shoes, are too cute. 

Makes me want to try this on my ex-boyfriend, the loser. 

Seriously. From the other side of the world, the other side of the country, you ask me "What can I do for you tonight? What do you need?" 

From there? Is there anything you can do at that distance, right now, that I need tonight? NOT REALLY. I do not need or want to see pictures of your junk, or see you cum; I do not need endless discussions of how you love all the same things I do. Offer me something real. Something that will show me you are serious. If you cannot figure out what that might be, then you aren't smart enough to be of any use to me, no matter how close we are. Unless I need heavy objects moved, or someone to mow the yard. 

Let me clarify what I mean when I say "older men." I am 45. Anyone old enough to be my parent, or a babysitter, qualifies as "older" and is therefore too old. By the same rule, anyone young enough to be my child is too young. I am not ruling out those I am old enough to have cared for, however...that just leaves out way too many people! 

If you can't figure these numbers out yourself, I'll do it for you -- anyone over 60 or under 25. Those are my age brackets. These are my rules, and I don't want to go any older. Don't like it? Tough. 

Not to be ageist or anything, but why do I only get the old guys? Honestly, I have a father, and two older brothers, and I have no desire to do anything remotely BDSM-related with any of them. (Okay, I might be perfectly happy to gag one brother and beat the shit out of him, but that's because he's a right-wing, redneck douchebag, not because I want to be his Mistress.) 

I have always preferred younger men, but for some reason, the responses I get here are primarily from men my own age and older. Is it me? Are the young men only interested in vapid, barbie-girl types? I must assume that a smart, sexy older woman scares these guys. Too bad. They are missing out, not me! 

Silly boys. Silly subs. You live on the other side of the country, or the world, so why do you think your offer to lick my boots, or rub my feet, or let me spank you will matter? None of that can be done long-distance, and so I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR IT! Offer me something that matters long distance. (And I do not mean a web-cam session. BOR-ING!) Figure it out, losers. Be creative. Use the brain god gave you, and figure out something new, interesting, and non-offensive. 

If you cannot do this, then leave me alone. 

Spring is in the air, which in my part of the country means lots of rain! Makes me feel like buying shoes...All the pretty summer sandals are on display, and my little tootsies are so tired of being covered up all winter long. A new pair of peep-toe heels, or flirty strappy sandals! Ooooo! 

Maybe it is the change of season, but my sadistic side is blossoming along with the flowers, and my desire to inflict pain on a sub has increased! So I am searching again, this time for a pain slut, one nearby--not online! Only real life pain gets me hot... and hopefully it will you, too. 

"Hello, ma'am."

"Hello, slut. Are you ready to play?"

"Yes, please!"

His voice on the phone was eager, a bit shaky. I knew he was unprepared for this, having taken no toys on his trip. This is an oversight on his part, and one he will not make again.

"Are you staying in a hotel?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Go fill your ice bucket. Hurry, slut!"

He scurried off to fill the bucket, and was soon back. I could hear the rattle of ice against metal.

"It's full, miss. What now?"

I instructed him to begin inserting the ice into his ass, one cube at a time, slowly.

"Oh, miss, that is so cold....but it feels soo good!"

"Keep going."

He counted for me, one by one as they went in.

"One..oh....two. So cold! Three, four. Oh my god. My little ass is so frozen! It feels amazing! Five, oh, miss!"

"Keep going, pet."

His voice began to shudder "Six...seven...mmmm...eight...this is so cold..nine."

"One more, slut."

"Oh. Please."

"I said one more!"

"Yes, ma'am. Ten....oooooo!"

"Good boy! Now tell me how it feels!"

"Oh, miss, my ass is full and so cold, and my cock is rock hard! Please miss, may I touch it?"

"Yes, but use the cold fingers."

"OH my god! That feels so good...the ice is melting! May I cum?"

"Yes, you may."

"OOOOOOOO! Thank you miss!" He came with his ass full of ice. Next time, we'll try a popsicle.