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If your profile says "submissive male" then if you're anything like me, you find yourself time on here primarily discarding "findoms" and occasionally summoning the energy to write yet another original message to somebody who looks genuine, knowing it will probably be deleted without reply. If you're lucky, and spend long enough at it, you will have occasionally succeeded in communicating via text, phone, and even meeting and getting into some kind of a relationship with a "dominant woman". However, having been at this for about 13 years I have to say that the vast majority of the time we spend on here as "submissive males" is unproductive, and each session generally ends with masturbation and sleepiness.
I'm 41 now, but like most of us I first started perusing sites like this when I was much younger, after many years of nurturing a purely sexual fantasy of being roughly treated by a woman. I always told myself this was just an itch I wanted to scratch and that I was justified in leading "dominant females" to believe I was genuinely seeking an unequal relationship because they must be "bad people" fundamentally.
However, and this is key: At some point over the past 3 years I've actually started to come to the position of ***genuinely*** wanting and seeking a female led relationship! I want to be subjugated, held in chastity, and physically punished for my mistakes. I've tried introducing chastity and caning into a pretty awful sexless relationship to save it, and just last week I was so desperate in my search that I had a one-way video chat with somebody I met on here who refused to let me hear their voice or see their face. Was it a guy? Was it woman? Hopefully I'll never know. When he/she asked me to start stripping in front of the camera I ended the conversation.
Yesterday though I was chatting with a very inexperienced "dominant female", actually a former neighbor of mine, and she told me that she fantasizes about being like the domme Wanda from Venus in Fur, a book from 1870 which describes a man called Severin so in love with a woman called Wanda that he wants to be her slave. After much persuasion Wanda agrees, but in time loses respect for Severin and falls for another man who she herself wants to submit to. This disheartens our hero Severin who in 1870 comes to the following conclusion:
"That woman, as nature has created her, and man at present is educating her, is man's enemy. She can only be his slave or his despot, but never his companion. This she can become only when she has the same rights as he and is his equal in education and work."
In 2018 his conclusion could and should include a third way, one where woman is man's companion, not his despot, and certainly not his slave.
Since reading that quote I find myself taking a step back and questioning what the hell I've been doing recently, and why I've been doing it. As a middle aged white male I feel that I'm generally discriminated against, by new wave radical feminists in particular. I wonder if my new found genuine desire to be dominated by women is a way of processing the frustration and anger that I feel about hearing the ever louder voice of radical feminists on TV, Social Media, and even in bars and pubs, that my opinion isn't worth as much as a woman's opinion.
For whatever reason, over the course of 13 years, I have transformed from a virile, healthy, happy go lucky 27 year old guy with a sexual fantasy about being roughly treated by women in bed to a semi-impotent 41 year old who can only get hard thinking about being caned, tied, gagged, or pegged, who genuinely wants to marry somebody who will keep him in chastity and cane him on a regular basis. I go to bed alone each night and masturbate to one of my favourite videos of women dressed in corsets/boots/etc caning men until they cry out in pain and sometimes bleed. I.e. I've turned into a complete freak with no hope of settling down and having a normal, happy family.
So this is a warning I guess. They say be careful what you wish for. In my experience this doesn't apply - you're not going to find it here and if you do it will be very short term flings which end badly. My warning is "be careful what you fantasize about" because while you're highly unlikely to find yourself in real slavery as a result of being on this site you are VERY likely to end up with a warped sexuality that prevents you functioning in a normal sexual way, not to mention alone masturbating under your bedsheets every night.
Good luck to you friend.
P.S. I won't be responding to messages because I'm not going to log on again.
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