What is Submissive Training?
I see a lot of profiles these days that say something along the lines of "I'm new to the lifestyle and looking forward to training". Basically implying that these women are in need of learning to be submissive. Now I'm probably going to piss some people off but please read beyond the next sentence before you send me hate mail. I don't believe you can learn to BE submissive. You can learn about your submissiveness. You can learn what a particular Master/Owner/Top/Dom expects of you in your submissiveness. but true submissiveness is not a learned thing. It is a part of who you are. It is a character trait. No more learn able than changing your gender or skin color. (ok yes, there are advancements there but stay with me in the concept)
Now, there are those that enjoy an escape to submission. it is a part time part of their personality. Are they truly submissive? Sometimes yes. I suspect that they are often at conflict with themselves as to which part of their personality is in control. Or perhaps they for other reason just suppress the submissive desires for a public personality or other professional reasons. Again the submission is a part of their personality.
There are probably those that allow themselves to be dominated and thus "play" the submissive from time to time. This si a different animal. They are an actor(ress) and playing a role. Something we all do from time to time. In these cases submission doesn't drive them, not really. They may get a thrill out of the role, but I doubt the thrill is from the acts of submission, it's purely from letting go and being different. A very minor distinction I suppose but still submission itself is not the driving force there. The game, the role is.
My personal thoughts on submissive training. If that is who you are you already know what you need to know. Your "training" is putting those things in practice. You're desires to make your Dom happy drive your time with him. What makes him happy, how he desires you to show your love and serve him are what you need to learn. And these things will vary depending on your partner(s), their particular kink, desires and personalities.
There will be some things that most all will require. Love, obedience, openness among them. and many things will vary between Doms, punishments, humiliation, sexual proclivities, and so forth. This is also true of the desires of the sub/slave/etc.
Much of this seems that it should be self evident and is truly no different from the Vanilla world to the kink world. Some like anal, some don't. Some like watersports, some don't. Some are seeking pleasures through pain, others only seek pleasures.
So, what you "newbie's" really seeking? The answer to that is as varied as the number of positions you can enjoy sex in. But I suspect in general you are looking to fulfill that part of them that needs to serve in some way. You may not yet know what that way is. And it may take some time to for you to figure it out. For some of you perhaps you already know, or think you do. To all of you I say explore, talk to both sides of the coin. read and discuss. Know what excite you. You don't need submissive training, you need to explore your submissive traits. Learn about yourself. Submission comes from the heart. It is the truest form of love and trust to give your submission to someone. That takes time. I laugh a little when a new profile comes on and 3 days later they update to say they are now collared to Master XXX. I hope that your profile went up long after you began talking to Master XXX.
So to all you lovelies, chat, talk, explore, and live out what you seek. That is the best training available to you. Don't be afraid to open your feelings , your desires, your dreams to your partner. If you've never done something and want to try it let your partner know. that you are open to it. If approached by your partner with something you haven't done be open to the experience. If your partner is worthy of your submission everything will be done with love in their heart. If that isn't how they approach your time, especially discipline time, then you need to find someone else. This is not a lifestyle of abuse, just a different way of expressing love. Love can hurt and love can heal. and many times it does both at the same time.
As I look back over this I've rambled and wondered just a bit. So let me conclude and bring it all together. No one can learn to be submissive. If you are submissive it's in you. The "training" is just a journey of self discovery. How your submissiveness shows itself and how you and your Master use it for mutual pleasures and enjoyment.
Play Safe, Live Life, and push yourself to find your limits. For at the limits is where we really learn who we are. And feel free to tell me what you think.
