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| I'm changing accounts to match my location. This one will be deleted within the week. My new name here will be MistressSDenver
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The place in Denver has lost my application. Thank God I had the receipt for the registered, certified copy so I wont lose my wait in line for a unit but it still might take some time. I'm open for other relocation spots in the meantime. |
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I know there are a lot of fake people here. I hear it all the time. I also know some of these "ladies" are totally out of their minds wanting you to hand over your bank accounts, property and lives to them on the first conversation. We all know that is bullshit. Then however on the other hand we have this assholes that come in, offering this crap who right away if you've been in the game as long as I have know they are totally insane, unrealistic jerks that have never met a true or real Domme in their lives. Lets face it the possibility of anyone finding exactly what they are looking for on this site or any other site like it no matter what site it is will be rare if NOT impossible to find.
If you are a first timer I dont think I'm going to be the Domme for you and believe me I can tell someone hasnt had experience in the first phone call or the first chat. So stop bothering Me. It's also a shame that i'm going to have to block dominant Men again because they think all the can be broken or submissive to them. Think again. Thats as stupid as a submissive thinking he can control me. Shame that it has to come to this but I'm tired of abuse from these ignorant e holes. Yes e holes, new term for our time. Look it up.
Get real or go away.
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After extensive research I'm now very confused.
Which spread is better for my heart — butter or margarine?
Answer
from Jennifer K. Nelson, R.D., L.D.
Margarine usually tops butter when it comes to heart health.
Margarine is made from vegetable oils, so it contains no cholesterol. Margarine is also higher in "good" fats — polyunsaturated and monounsaturated — than butter is. These types of fats help reduce low-density lipoprotein (LDL), or "bad," cholesterol when substituted for saturated fat.
Butter, on the other hand, is made from animal fat, so it contains cholesterol and high levels of saturated fat.
But not all margarines are created equal. Some margarines contain trans fat. In general, the more solid the margarine, the more trans fat it contains. So stick margarines usually have more trans fat than tub margarines do. Trans fat, like saturated fat, increases blood cholesterol levels and the risk of heart disease. In addition, trans fat lowers high-density lipoprotein (HDL), or "good," cholesterol levels. So skip the stick and opt for soft or liquid margarine instead.
Look for a spread with the lowest calories that tastes good to you, doesn't have trans fats and has the least amount of saturated fat. When comparing spreads, be sure to read the Nutrition Facts panel and check the grams of saturated fat and trans fat. Also, look for products with a low percent Daily Value for cholesterol.
If you have high cholesterol, check with your doctor about using spreads that are fortified with plant stanols and sterols, such as Benecol and Promise Activ, which may help reduce cholesterol levels. |
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"Pass The Butter ... Please.
This is interesting . .. .
Margarine was originally manufactured to fatten turkeys. When it killed the turkeys, the people who had put all the money into the research wanted a payback so they put their heads together to figure out what to do with this product to get their money back.
It was a white substance with no food appeal so they added the yellow colouring and sold it to people to use in place of butter. How do you like it? They have come out with some clever new flavourings....
DO YOU KNOW.. The difference between margarine and butter?
Read on to the end...gets very interesting!
Both have the same amount of calories.
Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams; compared to 5 grams for margarine.
Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating the same amount of butter, according to a recent Harvard Medical Study.
Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in other foods.
Butter has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few and only because they are added!
Butter tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavours of other foods.
Butter has been around for centuries where margarine has been around for less than 100 years .
And now, for Margarine..
Very High in Trans fatty acids.
Triples risk of coronary heart disease ...
Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) and lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol)
Increases the risk of cancers up to five times..
Lowers quality of breast milk
Decreases immune response.
Decreases insulin response.
And here's the most disturbing fact... HERE IS THE PART THAT IS VERY INTERESTING!
Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC... and shares 27 ingredients with PAINT.
These facts alone were enough to have me avoiding margarine for life and anything else that is hydrogenated (this means hydrogen is added, changing the molecular structure of the substance).
Open a tub of margarine and leave it open in your garage or shaded area. Within a couple of days you will notice a couple of things:
* no flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it (that should tell you something)
* it does not rot or smell differently because it has no nutritional value ; nothing will grow on it. Even those teeny weeny microorganisms will not a find a home to grow.
Why? Because it is nearly plastic . Would you melt your Tupperware and spread that on your toast?
Share This With Your Friends.....(If you want to butter them up')!
Chinese Proverb:
When someone shares something of value with you and you benefit from it, you have a moral obligation to share it with others. |
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Attention!! Attention!! News about the Mayan Apocalypse.
On December the 21st, the Earth will enter a ring called The Photonic Belt, at 2:00 pm, when there will be a blackout on the planet and three days of darkness. NASA just confirmed this 2 hours ago.
They say that when it gets completely dark, it will be really cold and flashes of light will occur. Nothing will happen, it's just an extraordinary phenomenon that happens every 11,000 years. It is recommended to stay at home, since there won't be any power and so electronic devices won't work.
The three days of darkness will pass and that's what the Mayan calendar was referring to. IF YOU LIKE THIS PAGE AND SHARE THIS ON YOUR WALL YOU WILL BE SAVED AND HAVE ELECTRICITY FOR 3 DAYS, INFINITE WHISKEY, 3 UNICORNS FOR PROTECTION, AN ARMY OF MAGICAL ELVES TO COMBAT THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, AN ANGEL WITH THE FORCE OF THE UNIVERSE AND THE HELP OF SONGOKU'S GENKI DAMA TO EXPEL THE DEMONS. FURTHERMORE, YOU'LL APPLY FOR A RAFFLE TICKET TO WIN SAGITTARIUS GOLDEN ARMOUR AND A ONE WAY TICKET TO NARNIA!
I have a huge supply of food, valium, scented candles and gas heat should the need arise. I AM READY!!! *maybe i should go to the liquor store and an antique store for an old wind up phonograph player for music |
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The other night I was invited out for a night with the "girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realising my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT !)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him "MIDNIGHT"... he didn't seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh shit" Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted. |
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A married couple in their 60's are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish.
"I want to travel around the world with my darling husband." says the wife. 2 tickets for a luxury cruise magically appear in her hand.
The husband says, "Sorry love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me."
So the fairy waves her wand and the husband becomes 92.
Moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember - fairies are female. |
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Two Arkansas hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“ |
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For you guys that are contacting me. If you wont talk on the phone immediately dont bother me. If you are in debt up to your eyeballs and getting calls every day from collection agencies dont bother me. If you're driving a beater car or truck dont bother me. There are exceptions but they are rare. I'm not desperate by any means. I'm very comfortable with a very nice place. I dont need to take on someone elses problems. If you're in your 50's you should at least be solvent. |
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http://represent.us/
HELP STOP GOVT CORRUPTION NOW! |
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I will be leaving Arkansas asap. I'm just waiting for a check. I'm open for suggestions. I need a cute live in slave that needs to be used and abused. Mistress Stephanie |
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Choosing a wife
A man wanted to get married.
He was having trouble
choosing among three
likely candidates. He
gives each woman a present
of $5,000 and watches to
see what they do with the
money.
The first does a total
makeover. She goes
to a fancy beauty salon,
gets her hair done, new
makeup; buys several
new outfits and dresses
up very nicely for the
man. She tells him that
she has done this to be
more attractive for him
because she loves him
so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping
to buy the man gifts. She
gets him a new set of golf
clubs, some new gizmos
for his computer, and some
expensive clothes. As she
presents these gifts, she
tells him that she has spent
all the money on him because
she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money
in the stock market She
earns several times the
$5,000. She gives him
back his $5,000 and
reinvests the remainder
in a joint account. She
tells him that she wants
to save for their future
because she loves him
so much.
Obviously, the man
was impressed.
The man thought for a
long time about what
each woman had done
with the money he'd
given her.
Then he married the
one with the biggest boobs.
Men are like that,
you know.
And on another note!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is more money
being spent on breast
implants and Viagra
today than on Alzheimer's
research. This means
that by 2040, there
should be a large
elderly population
with perky boobs
and huge erections
and absolutely no
recollection of what
to do with them.
If you don't send this
to five OLD friends
right away there will
be five fewer people
laughing in the world |
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I'm always disappointed when a liar's pants dont actually catch on fire! |
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Everyone says money can't buy happiness, I don't believe them I think everyone should prove it to me - just send me your money and I will let you know! *and this is a joke meant to be funny.* Some people here have no sense of humor.
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Just ordered a new tent and mountain bike that is geared for offroad camping. Ready to go? Mistress Stephanie |
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men say they don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die, well I don't trust anything with 2 heads and only 1 brain! |
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My doctors office just called. I'm totally cured. The chemo worked. I'm crying tears of joy! |
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A friend has to asks you whats wrong, a good friend has a shoulder for you to cry on but a best-friend knows where to bury the bodies. |
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Wow. Was just sitting here reflecting. 57 years old today. 30 years to the day I was sharing a penthouse in Liberty Towers in Tulsa with Kevin McKnight and Stephen Riddlebarger. There was a white grand piano in the living room and two months later I would meet Darin W Dugger
, and marry him about a year later. My nieces and nephews still call him uncle Darin and we're still best friends. I'm so lucky to have had the life I've had despite everything I had to overcome which has made me the person I am today. That 30 years went by really fast. Now I wonder what's going to happen in my 60's. |
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You're riding a horse full speed.. there's a giraffe beside you.. and you're being chased by a lion .. what do you do? .. Get your drunk ass off the carousel .. |
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So here is my latest venture. I'm training on a new bike to cycle *alone if I have to* thru Europe. Anyone have the time and interest to go with? |
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Some jerk was complaining that my pics were old. Why is it all the people that are that anal about pics have NONE on their own profile? Calling it as I see it. And I'm calling it LAME! |
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Getting ready to buy a Hoyt Compound bow. Any archers out there? Found a better bang for the buck with a ben pearson preditor =) |
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After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counselling.
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate,
painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.
On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness,
feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up,
walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, embraced
and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow.
The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said,
'This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this? ''Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays. . . but on Fridays, I go Golfing.
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My fav site.
http://www.latowski.de/ |
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Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.
Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your Ex-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Dear Ex-Husband -
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work..
I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!'
Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence
that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars,
I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
P.S. Don't know if I ever told you this but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
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Bitches 'til the End!
Man, I'll tell ya, women can be cold until the end!
The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news. You
have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'
The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting
room where her daughter had been waiting.
'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when
things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So,
let's head to the club and have a martini.'
After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were
some laughs and more martinis.
They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were
curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told her friends they
were drinking to her impending end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'
The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty
retreat.
After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Momma,
I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you
were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?'
'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm
gone.'
And THAT, my friends, is what is called,
'Putting Your Affairs In Order.'
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BUTTE, MONTANA
Shotgun preteen vs. Illegal alien Home Invaders...
Two illegal aliens, Ralphel Resindez, 23, and Enrico Garza, 26, probably
believed they would easily overpower home-alone 11 year old Patricia
Harrington after her father had left their two-story home.
It seems the two crooks never learned two things: they were in Montana and
Patricia had been a clay shooting champion since she was nine.
Patricia was in her upstairs room when the two men broke through the front
door
of the house. She quickly ran to her father's room and grabbed his 12 gauge
Mossberg 500 shotgun.
Resindez was the first to get up to the second floor only to be the first to
catch a near point blank blast of buckshot from the 11-year-old's knee
crouch
aim. He suffered fatal wounds to his abdomen and genitals.
When Garza ran to the foot of the stairs, he took a blast to the left
shoulder and staggered out into the street where he bled to death before
medical
help could arrive.
It was found out later that Resindez was armed with a stolen 45 caliber
handgun
he took from another home invasion robbery. That victim, 50-year-old David
0Burien, was not so lucky. He died from stab wounds to the chest.
Ever wonder why good stuff never makes NBC, CBS, PBS, MSNBC, CNN, or ABC
news........an 11 year old girl, properly trained, defended her home, and
herself......against two murderous, illegal immigrants.......and she wins,
She is still alive.
Now that is Gun Control! Thought for the day....
Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant' is like calling a drug
dealer an 'unlicensed pharmacist'
I like this kind of e-mail. American citizens defending themselves and their
homes. |
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Which side of the fence?
If you ever wondered which side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!
If a Conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn?t buy one.
If a Liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a Conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn?t eat meat.
If a Liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a Conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A Liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a Conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.
If a Conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A Liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
If a Conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose
a job that provides it.
A Liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a Conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A Liberal will delete it because he's "offended".
Well, I forwarded it. |
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GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH!
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother
2. He liked Gospel
3. He didn't get a fair trial
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands
2. He had wine with His meals
3. He used olive oil
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair
2. He walked around barefoot all the time
3. He started a new religion
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature
2. He ate a lot of fish
3. He talked about the Great Spirit
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married..
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do
Can I get an AMEN!!
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Be wary ladies. I'm finding there are alot of fleeing felons on this site. =( |
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THIS IS A JOKE FOR CHRIST SAKES.
My 1 day employment?
So after landing my new job as a?Wal-Mart?greeter,
good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day...?
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud,?
unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.?
I said pleasantly, 'Good morning?and welcome to Wal-Mart.?
Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'?
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say,?
'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7.?
Why the heck would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or stupid?'
So I replied,?
'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at?
Wal-Mart.'?
My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.
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GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS...
Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.
A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.
It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.
She let out a very loud scream.
The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.
He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind.. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.
His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.
The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.
About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.
But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa..
The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.
The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.
The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.
By now, the police had arrived.
Breathe here...
They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little garden snake!
The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.
Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.
The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.
Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).
Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was right with their world.
A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.
And that's when he shot her.
P.S. Its been a long time since I laughed this hard about an email... |
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 OMG I recieved a message from a female sub here correcting the joke on the stimulus package. Its a joke you idiot. And you say you are over educated. Could be. Most people that are have no common sense. |
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Sometime this year,
We taxpayers may receive another Economic Stimulus payment.
This is a very exciting program.
I will explain it
Using the Q and A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?.
A. From taxpayers.
Q.. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.
Below is
Some helpful advice
On how to best help
The US economy
By spending
Your stimulus check
Wisely:
* If you spend
The stimulus money
At Wal-Mart,
The money will go to China .
* If you spend it
On gasoline,
Your money will go
To the Arabs.
* If you purchase
A computer,
It will go to India .
* If you purchase
Fruit and vegetables,
It will go to Mexico ,
Honduras and Guatemala .
* If you buy a car,
It will go to Japan .
* If you purchase
Useless stuff,
It will go to Taiwan .
* If you pay your
Credit cards off,
Or buy stock,
It will go to
Management bonuses
And they will hide it offshore.
Instead,
Keep the money
In America by:
1. Spending it at yard sales, or
2. Going to ball games, or
3. Spending it on prostitutes, or
4. Beer or
5. Tattoos.
These are
The only American
Businesses still
Operating in the US .
***
I'm going
To go to a ball game
With a tattooed prostitute
That I met at
A yard sale,
And drink beer!
Yay! Woo Hoo!!
Just call me a patriot.
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Stupid is as Stupid does and some people give it 100% |
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In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about
women over 50 .
>
> 60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)
>
> As I grow in age, I value women over 50 most of all. Here are just a few
reasons why:
>
> A woman over 50 will never wake you in the middle of the night and
> ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 50 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around
whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more
interesting.
Women over 50 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you
at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if
you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get
away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know
what it's like to be unappreciated.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a
woman over 50.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than
her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest.. They'll tell you right off if you
are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where
you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons.. Unfortunately,
it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman
over 50, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of
himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for
free?Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage.
Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get
a little sausage!
Andy Rooney is a really smart guy! |
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I'm thinking I'll give this site two more weeks and then walk away. I must say I love what this sub has to say in his profile...
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| "Commit yourself to the Domme, not the activities." | |
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My fortune was this for today "You will stop at nothing to reach your objective, but only because your
brakes are defective." |
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I have to post these they are too funny!
Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.
I just couldn't help but sending this along. Too funny.
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No! really? Ya think?
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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
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Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
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Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
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War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
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If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!
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Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
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Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
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Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
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New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
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Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
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Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
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Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
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Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
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And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
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| Age: 51 |
| N.Y.,
New York |
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