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DruthDaern

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Personally I blame Paul Daniels...

I am a novice dominant who has been interested in BDSM for many years. I normally hang out on IC but I have heard good thing about this site too, so here I am. I'm a regular at the Croydon Munch and I attend Club Hades whenever I get the chance. I also go to the LAM on occasion.

Why do I blame Paul Daniels for my fetish? - When I was about 10 the Paul Daniels Magic Show was one of the programmes that the family would all watch. One of his famous tricks was to restrain his beautiful assistant inside an upright box which he would then slice into three parts with metal blades/sheets then move around before putting them back together, showing that she was still alright then ending with him magically trading places with her. Even at that age, there was something about the sight of a beautiful woman being restrained in place inside that box that appealed to me, and my earliest fantasies were based around that image. A few years later an investigation of one of my older brothers stash of top-shelf magazines yielded something very special - an American bondage magazine. This marked the point where I began to understand what I had found attractive and set me on course to discover more. Fast forward ten years to when I first discovered the internet and started getting REALLY pervy :-) Sites like Hogtied and Insex really opened my eyes to things I had never even thought of before, the latter site having a unique style that makes all their scenes great to watch.

I know myself well enough to know how deep my interests go and I know I would not be truly happy in a 'pure-vanilla' relationship. Likewise, despite BDSM being one of my biggest interests in life I don't think about it all the time and I wouldn't like to live it 24/7.

I also know that within me lies an interesting paradox - One side of me wants a partner I can love and respect as an equal, someone to care for as much as she would care for me. The other side of me wants a slavegirl, someone who I would own and who would submit to my every whim. I have seen a number of things that appeal to me and would like to try, and my ideas range from the quite light (tying a girl to the bed and teasing/denying her for as long as she could stand before letting her orgasm) to the dark and heavy (things featured on Insex and Torture Galaxy to name a few). I have a liking for Breast Bondage, tight clamps in sensitive places, forced orgasms and other ordeals where you can see that the girl is most definitely in a lot of discomfort. However the more sensitive side of me would want to ensure that afterwards, after all the passion has been spent, that the girl felt comforted, valued and loved. I like the idea of having a girl constantly subservient to me for a number of continuous days such as a long weekend or maybe a week or two, but if I found someone like that I would almost certainly love them too much to keep them like it indefinitely, unless it was something that she truly wanted.

I am very much aware that I have a lot to learn. For example, one of the things I have read about is sub drop. Seeing someone react like that would frighten me if I wasn't expecting it and didn't know what was going on. After reading about it I found that it made sense to me and that my reaction would be a strong desire to comfort the girl and bring her down gently for as long as she needed. I see it as part of the deal - the complete surrender of the sub in exchange for making sure her needs are met and that she feels valued and loved. To me this would always be a fair exchange.

I have thought a lot (maybe too much) about what I would look for in my ideal partner: She would be intelligent, imaginative, fun-loving, emotionally strong (but with weaknesses that I could care for in the same way as she would care for the few that I have), feminine but not overly “girly”, quite highly sexed ;-), appreciative of satirical or slightly twisted humour, someone who I could spend a great deal of time with just as a friend and companion, someone to watch films with and go to social gatherings with, someone as devoted to me as I was devoted to her yet at the same time capable of maintaining separate interests (like circles of friends) so that our relationship wouldn't end up as a 'pocket universe' that existed entirely of each other (such a thing is always bad in the long run). Our relationship would be one that includes at least a few D/s elements every day, going into S&M whenever we felt playful. She would be aware that I would control the amount of pleasure she would receive and therefore her climax was something she had to earn. She would pride herself on being a "good girl" but not be above making the occasional mistake just so she could experience the thrill of being "punished". She would not be afraid of suggesting things that she would like to try and would every once in a while prompt me to push her to her limits to see if they had changed.

I know that this is a lot to ask for, but I can dream can't I ? Realistically, the person and how I relate to them matters more than how much they meet this ideal.

Finding a play partner would be nice, a long-term sub would be wonderful. I am always looking to learn more about BDSM, from mindset to technique, and finding someone to learn and practice with would be a great help to me.

My Vanilla interests include Computers and Technology, Roleplaying, Listening to music (I have a wide liking from Classical to Metal), Reading (I'm a fan of Pratchett and R.A. Salvatore), Driving (but I'm not obsessed with cars), Watching Films (especially sci-fi) and good food in the company of friends.

It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the juice of Sapho that the thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains,
the stains become a warning.
It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.

Druth Daern

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welshsub
 
 Age: 22
 California, California