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i see that my profile has not been updated in a very long time..i am owned and collared and happily in service to Mistress Jenn of SlaveHome.
i am the event/educational coordinator for many groups in the local area...i would be more than willing to share information on local education events, play parties and especially rope parties as well as 'groups'..again please contact me on as janee |
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i am protected by
and a family member of
Slave Home
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If You are a slave, what completes You? Is it Your Master? What if You are unowned, that make You less of a slave? |
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Hope to see lots of people at Wicked tonight..sounds like its going to be great as usual
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WOW!! Was wicked crowded last night, biggest crowd i ever remember seeing there. Fun play and seeing pleople and meeting people...and watching people..and people people everywhere.lol
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The munch was nice and enjoyable. It was great seeing those of You i hadn't seen in quite some time, and meeting new friends!
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Going to the new Downriver Munch tonight..hope to meet some new people and see some old friends! |
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Isn't odd the twists and turns that are taken in our lives? i am not sure why people are sent into our lives, but i do believe there is always a purpose, most the time i just don't figure it out until way later. i have learned to see life kind of like a dandelion going to seed....when you blow it some of the seeds blow in the wind, others linger and cling to you...just as people do. Just thinking is all..no miraculous discovery or anything!
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Is it possible for things to feel more right day after day after day? That what i have searched for my whole life might actually be real? Home..what a wonderful word AND feeling!
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Sunday night i was lucky enough to be given a christmas gift of sharing time at the Henry Ford Village with some dear friends. i had a blast!! 2nd time we went, this time 2 more came....who knows next year. But thank You Sir, You know who You are and the time spent with You and other friends was a gracious gift!
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Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
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Last nite at Wicked was AWESOME!! Thank You Ma'am and our certain friend that teased me forever leading up to last night. What a ride that was. i have heard the term when someone clips your wings, but what is it called when they give you wings?
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Good friends and great family...what more can a girl ask for? Oh wait..a Master? lol
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WOW!! Fort Myers, actually Estero Island Florida was awesome. We had such a great time...i am the tannest i have EVER been <and those of you that know me r/t know how white i am.lol> but i am DARK now..i swear it. i got to see a sting ray jump out of the ocean waves, pelicans fish offshore, a beach that was more shells than sand and palm trees of so many various shapes and sizes. Nature...truly is Gods canvas and what an artist He is.
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Oh my goodness...Charlotte ROCKS!! The Fetish Flea was so much fun. The parties were small but good...i really enjoyed the 2nd one. i saw true puppy play in full puppy clothes.lol. He had the cutest puppy mask and feet.and his Mistress would give him hand signals and he would do the most adorable puppy tricks. i met some wonderful friends i have known from online for 12 years....couldnt be nicer folks. Traveled allllll that way with two great friends. It was a wonderful weekend!! NOW..........Ft. Myers here we come!!!! 10 days and the Fabulous Four will be there!! Watch out here we come!!!! |
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Leave for North Carolina tonight! Three days of vending, people and parties. i cant wait! Mostly i just want to see how different communities are at parties and if there is finally a place i can observe and be where protocols are instituted. |
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Wicked was a lot of fun this past weeekend..a lil smaller group of people but even had some dance music going on .lol. Mmmmm..loved the bondage and having fun with friends.
Going to Charlotte in TWO DAYS!!!!! i love vending and going to these events. Plus i get to hook up with two friends i have none here online for years and years!
Life is good!! |
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WOW!! So much in life coming up i have to look forward too.
This weekend we are going to the Ren Festival. JULEE will be here and she ALWAYS brings fun with her!! Then we are going to Wicked, always a good time.
Next weekend i am going to the Fetish Flea in Charlotte North Carolina. Looks interesting and i love people watching. i am even looking forward to talking to new people. Two parties that weekend...one a masquerade..mmm what to wear what to wear.
In two weeks after that Ft. Myers Florida, here we come!! Wish we knew of any lifestyle stuff going on while we are there.
Life is good....yes it is!! |
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what a FABULOUS weekend!!!
Ma'am, jules and i went up north to the cabin and visited friends. Someone i met here on collarme several years ago but for the first time got to meet Him in person. i got to see His new girl again, since i already knew her but gosh i got to play with His furry lil Edward. i have missed Eddie the BESTEST tennis ball hound in the world! lol
As always the three of us had the mostest fun as we always have fun in our trunk!!!! |
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A newfound friend said this quote to me...i love it..and am now adding it to my profile..speaks volumes!
"Show pride in all you do...even if you are begging and crawling" |
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i am fairly sure that MsStella enjoyed her bday party.lol..since she is STILL here! it was greating meeting her friends MissK and her girl. Wicked was a lot of fun like always. The massages were great and friends that couldnt make it to the party made it to the house today..so it was a wonderfully fantasic weekend! |
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Two more days til MsStellas Bday party...AND..wicked, where the party will continue..lol |
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Great time in Boston, so VERY interesting people there. Long drive, good company and a lot of laughts, but it feels great to be home and i can't wait to see MsK. Looking forward to the bday party this weekend and going to wicked! |
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i am in Boston as we speak preparing to attend tomorrows Boston Fetish Flea. i am so excited, this is an event that i have been wanting to attend for several years. The van is packed, loaded and we are ready to go...7am tomorrow!!
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Submission is...
-The most profound act of love i can give to another person.
-Being honest about my problems and about the battles raging inside of my head..
..and yes...there will be battles.
-Knowing myself so that i may clearly communicate my needs and my
desires to Him...and so that i may more easily distinguish between the two.
-This longing that i cannot shake, that i MUST be in service to somebody. Without someone to serve, i am empty, lonely, and unfulfilled.
-Allowing myself to be vulnerable, because i know that because He has the opportunity to harm me, it does not mean that He WILL harm me.
-Making every effort to know my Dominant so that i may anticipate His needs.
-Seeing Him smile because of something i have done, and feeling that joy bounce back to me a thousand times over.
-Whispering a quiet "yes, Sir" when i would much rather scream an "I don't want to!"
-Simply the natural choice for me.
-Feeling and being beautiful... in His eyes as well as in my own.
-About improving myself.
-Most certainly NOT all about sex.
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i am sure that some of You have already heard, but i wanted to make sure that EVERYONE knew of our community's loss, with the blessing and permission of the family.
Jeff Forth passed away this evening, i got the call from His son about 8:30 pm. letting me know that Jeff's struggle was finally over and He was no longer in pain and was finally at peace.
Jeff was a long time member of our community.
Jeff constantly had new jokes that made you laugh until your sides hurt...and if you didn't laugh at His jokes He loved to tickle you until you almost peed on yourself from laughter.
Jeff always had a hug or phone call when He knew you were sad or in need, and sometimes just because He was Jeff, and that was enough for Him.
Jeff normally had a smartalec or sarcastic comment about everything - part of His charm.
Jeff loved to ride His bike on a warm day and then come back and tell You each and every detail of His trip.
Jeff never forgot to ask how You were doing, and He truly cared it was not merely out of politeness.
More important than anything else, Jeff Forth graced my life with His presence, honored me with His friendship and i will miss Him greatly. |
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FRIENDSHIP
There are many different types of friendships. There are those that are more acquaintance type friendships, those that are friends, and those that are forever friends. Whichever category you and another fall into it really matters not, because a friend is a friend, and never should be taken for granted. A friend is someone that for whatever reason you have found a connection with and they have found with you. The rule of thumb I believe in friendship is, you cannot have a good friend, if you are not a good friend yourself.
When your heart has been broken for whatever reason, a good friend is more than likely the best band aid for it. There is nothing like being able to share your sorrows and disappointments with someone you trust, and that you know cares only for your well being. Even when they speak to you of truths about the disappointment that you may not really want to hear, you listen, because you know that it comes from friendship and not spite or a false heart. It is to help you heal or move on, not to hold you back in your sorrow. A true friends shoulder is often found soggy from your tears, and yours from theirs. You can pour out the pain to them, never expecting them to judge you for those feelings, but only be there to comfort you in them. They are like a safe harbor, in the greatest storms that life throws our way. A lighthouse constantly signaling us to the path home, the home of who we are and what we want to become.
People often speak of links in the chain of life. To me friends are the strong link in life's chain, often bearing the most weight but never faltering. They are someone you can count on no matter what to be there in your time of need, perhaps even when they themselves are having difficulties. Again, the reciprocation of you doing the same for them only tends to strengthen the link for the next time life yanks your chain.
Friends seem to bring out the best in you, the nobler side of you. They are not ones to entice those dark sides we all have, but help you put those "demons" to rest and at ease. In doing this they help you shine brighter, grow stronger and become a better person. Friendship is when someone pushes you when you need it most, but never to hard; then who will stand back when the time is right, but never standing so far back they won't be able to catch you if you fall. And if you do perhaps fall, they will be right there beside you to help you back on your feet, dust you off and hold you until you are ready again to move forward.
One of the best things about friends is you don't have to be exactly the same. You have similarities and interests but you also have differences. One key to opening up friendship is not only to expand similarities, but to accept each others differences and faults. Never judging one another but basking in things they may enjoy that you do not, or respecting them for their own opinions not minding that they differ from your own. Friends love unconditionally. They may have little spats or disagreements, but what is done is done and all is forgiven and forgotten. Why let something that happened in the past ruin what happiness you can still have and share with this person in the future? If you agree on everything, them someone isn't being truthful or perhaps is just trying to hard. A friend is one truer to me, than I am even to myself.
When a friend is happy, you find yourself happy even when it has nothing to do with you. You rejoice in their celebrations, even when those seem to take them on a different path from your own. Knowing that in allowing yourself to feel their joys, opens your heart for only more happiness. When you share love through friendship, it always comes back to you tenfold. And who can ever get enough happiness?
A friend is someone you can do anything with or even nothing and still have the a wonderful time. Some of the best times with friends are when you know you are there together, but that your friendship allows you not to even comment on that fact that you are. Silence is often consoling between friends, just that I am there feeling you give to your friend is plenty more than enough. Often times even knowing silence is best, but making sure to show you a smile, or give you a gentle touch, making sure you know that they are there for you always.
Many friends live far from where you are, but yet everyday you feel their presence in your life. You may see something that reminds you of them, or hear a song that you once sang together or danced to. Some friends even have that ability to know when something is wrong, when you yourself haven't figured it out yet, and from miles away they call to make sure you are all right and safe. You may see a picture in a scrapbook that evokes the most glorious of memories, sending shocks of nostaligia and giddiness through your very soul.
So to me a friend is still the person who gives you the better of the two choices, holds your hand when you're scared, helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you, thinks of you at times when you are not there, reminds you of what you have forgotten, helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer, stays with you so that you have confidence, goes out of their way to make time for you, helps you clear up your mistakes, helps you deal with pressure from others, smiles for you when they are sad, helps you become a better person, and most importantly loves you! |
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Written by a dear friend for her Master:
"To disobey my Master means to have a complete disreagrd not only for who i belong to, but who i am. i am a slave, the owned property of my Master. By disobeying i consciously chose to throw all concern for my master to the wayside. i essentially decided that i am in control and i indirectly told my Master that He does not know what is best for me."
mmm she knows what she is talking about, and what a wonderful way of expressing what many of us have felt. |
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i try to stay positive all that i can
to hold to my beliefs and all that i am
some days are bad, and some oh so good
bringing smiles and grins to those that i could
i hide behind my laughter and smile
drowning in sorrow, alone all the while
i try to stay positive all that i can
to hold to my beliefs and all that i am
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This weekend was very different, difficult, fun, stressful, joyful, erotic and exasperating all rolled into one. Bringing people to stay and possibly to join a "House" in our lifestyle is much more difficult that i ever imagined. So many points of views. So many ways of expressing those points of views.
First start with the different people, views and expression of said views. There are many types of ways to live our lifestyle. Gorean, D/s, M/s and a place that i call US...just who we are and it works for us. Some seem to think others need to fit in a box because that is their own comfort zone or training, but if it works for us and we are happy why it should matter to others. Do we like to gain more knowledge and information that can help enhance our ’family’, there is always room for improvement. As for the expression of ones opinions, i believe that if you are guest in One’s home, be it vanilla and/or lifestyle then you behave as a guest and if there are things you don’t like, keep them to yourself. If asked for you opinion by all means give it, as i am a firm believe in, "If you really don’t want my opinion than you shouldn’t ask" BUT opinions and disrespect are two different things. As a slave...free or owned, i would never tell people how they live their lives is wrong...i might say ’ this is how it is in my world’ but i would not say ’ this is how you need to do it’. Do You see the difference?
Now for the weekend itself...WHEEE Great Party!! Knives and floggers, mummification wraps and bondage were just part of the many joys this girl had over the weekend. The true happiness was brought by the people in the House. New friends joined us, old friends came back to us and family is always present. It was especially nice that julee got to be there from up north, so that missing piece of the family was there for a change.
As a family it was a time of great growth in education, learning even more of each other, tolerance and communication.’
i do owe Sir Steven and MsKelly and apology for the way i behaved as i did let my emotions get the better of me, and though it was for a good reason i lost my place and i beg forgiveness from You both.
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The party at the House was great this weekend. A lot of new and familiar faces, each bringing their own elements and uniqueness to the House. It also brought family here we haven't seen in a long time, that was too long in coming and i hope will not be so long until they are able to join us again.
Thank You so much to all that came and helped us celebrate the simple joys of our lifestyle and House. |
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Isn't it funny that people..no matter how far in distance they are from us, still manage to stick their noses into our business? lol Especially when it is about a mutual friend and they think they have a clue..jealousy.. hahah does some strange things. Thought perhaps cold weather might 'chill' this person out, but i guess it just made her heart even more cold and obnoxious than it was when she was in Michigan, wait not sure if that is possible. Lets just say some people are so unhappy they go out of their way to make comments and try to ridcule others..what they don't realize is what a fool they make of themselves in the process and we all just sit back and laff at their pathetic lives. |
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Borrowing this from a close friends profile - - saying one is a slave or a Master does not make them one any more than my standing inside of my garage makes me a car. How very true! Actions definately speak louder than words |
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There is a point in your life, when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything...but its not giving up...it's realizing that you don't need certain people or the bullchyt and drama they bring into your life. |
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Fantastic Party!!
Thank You to all that came out to the Lake and shared their company. To those of You that couldn't make it, You missed a great party and hope You can be here next time. |
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The Invitation
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”
It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
© Oriah Mountain Dreamer, from the book The Invitation published by HarperSanFrancisco, 1999 |
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Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways at the last minute, champagne in one hand, strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO - That was Fun!”
- Anon |
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Rather the pain of discipline, than the pain of regret. - Bob Andrews |
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"It is the ability to take a joke,
not make one
that proves you have a sense of humor." ~~Max Eastman~~ |
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Let us not be content to wait and see what will happen, but give us the determination to make the right things happen~~Peter Marsh |
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Those that have known me a long time know that in the local community i was seen and pretty much not heard for many many years. In the past year and a half i have grown tremendously and tried to improve on my shyness and being open with people. That has gained me many friends, but also has put me in others drama that i wish not to be a part of. So..now i need to rethink..which is the lesser of two evils. Being seen and not heard, and not really known or being an active member of a community and dragged into dramas?
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Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too, can become great.~~Mark Twain |
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Challenges are what make life interesting;
overcomming them
is what makes life meaningful
~~Joshua Marine~~ |
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Remember to tell those that are in Your life, each and every day that You love them and thank them for the smiles they bring into Your life. |
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They say people are sent into your life for reasons. Recently a new FRIEND came into my life and has pointed out a few things to me that i needed to see about myself. Not always easy seeing/hearing negatives about yourself, but i do believe we dont always see those in ourselves. I can appreciate them when others nicely and respectfully point them out and work on them, perhaps to help me in the future. |
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Making people smile is a great joy to this girl.  She hopes she has more opportunities to do so! |
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Finding the good in bad situations:
Recently i was involved in a not so good situation/relationship with someone i met on this site. It didnt work. he lied, cheated and manipulated...now i could walk away from this situation and feel sorry for myself, carry anger and hurt, perhaps even seek revenge..but if i do that then i am giving him power over my life. He has no power over me..no control..
SOOOOO this is what i am thinking about what this situation gave to me:
New friendships, renewed friendships, a community that is now at least talking about how to protect their own, a new strong interest in bondage, a look at my own slavery and what it truly means to me, and again proof that i am strong and i do and always will survive anything put before me. |
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Happy Sunday everyone!!
Last night was a definately a party with different energy, but it was a good time by all. Got to meet lots of new people, especially at breakfast. SirA thank You sooo much for sewing the beads on my chest...that was so Hot! i was flying like a bird!!! |
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Today i received a few emails that both saddened me and made me laugh. 2 from slaves and 1 from a Domiant, all commenting on who i was with recently with that cheated, lied and disgraced himself by such acts. Anyway, they all say that this fake has treated others in such a way, both in person and on the internet . He has a myspace account trolling for slaves, easy to find with his email address.lol.. and His collarme acct is still active tho He set it so others cannot see Him...lol..probably because He has no balls and is afraid of what those that now know him for who he is will say to him. It is sad because i am not the only one he has conned. It is sad because he has a registered slave that still believes in this mans lies, yet on her own collarme profile asks for others to come forward or forever hold their peace, so its funny too...its sad because there is truly no way to let everyone know about predators. It is funny because they seem to be coming out of the woodwork since the word has gotten out. How many will respond telling their own heartfelt tails of how this ma, wait i cant call him a man because he is not a man.. a man has honor and integrity this person has nothing of the sort. i can only again thank those that have stood by me. |
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Recently i have found out how many true friends i am blessed to have. i guess sometimes it takes something bad to happen your life to find out just how many friends that you have. Well that self acclaimed master has given me a great gift in a way, because MY friends in the community have come around to surround, protect, council and comfort one of their own. Some are merely acquaintences at this point, some i have met a few times and some i have spent much time with, but the thing is that they are ALL there, standing as a community should...Together, steadfast to our beliefs and putting out the word with all of their connections. LOL its funny how fast and far word travels in a community like ours to help warn others of predators, liars and cheats. You know who you are..and who you associate with .BEWARE because others know now too, and they know you for who and what you are, not who and what you and yours portray! |
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hmm ever thought of You and Your lifestyle as like buying a car? lol i do not test drive people, for some reason i take them at face value and believe their words. i guess since i am not a liar i forget there are others out there that do not hold themselves to the same ethical standards that i do.
i read something somewhere on this site where the person said the only way to protect yourself is use a condom. Now...how very true of the physical aspects, but what of the mental and emotional? Do not they come into play when entering or maintaining a relationship? This same person also mentioned that we are all sluts here..ok...i draw the line, i am a slave NOT a slut and wish others would speak strictly for themselves! |
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This weekend was nice...my 'special someone", aka MasterAndrew came. we had a party on Friday at the house and on Saturday it was just a lazy laid back day. SirSteven thank You for always sharing Your home with me and allowing me to spend time with Master there. Thank all that came to the party, sorry we had to go to bed early because of Master not feeling well. |
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Getting kinda scared here..work is going alright....have my health...friends are doing good...finding my way 'home'..holy spit batman when is the roof gonna cave in?? lol Or for a change, is it strong enough to withstand the rain and keep me safe and warm? |
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Ok....my lil part of the world is still going good! ::looking around for the house to fall on me from the sky::
three more days....party, special guest, friends, play......YAY!!! |
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Only 4 more days!!! Isn't it funny how One person can walk in Your life and make it seem ok..even when really nothing has changed? Letting You know that You don't have to do things alone anymore? Then learning to accept it and not be frightened of its wonderment. |
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i am looking forward to a visit from MasterAndrew1 for another wonderful party! 
Wonder if we will get snowed in again? lol..everyone better bring their medications and an extra set of clothes just in case! |
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Thank You to all that have sent me emails making sure i was alright from my previous journal entry. Please i want You all to understand...i am so OK its not even funny! That was/is posted for ONE person and she knows who she is. i just needed to let her know that her behind the back, underhanded, lying, fake ways about her are known....and not just by me but by all that were all within her 'circle of friends'
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i find it amusing and almost sad when people post things in their profile about honesty when those that know them best know better, because they have listened to the lies for months...lies or fantasies whichever one chooses to call them. Also..what good is honesty if confidentiality is non existant just because they cannot keep their mouths shut about things that do not concern them anyway. |
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WHEEE what fun we had last night! That house..something else..always a grand time! Sir Arthur thanks for the needles, Sir Rose thanks for the massage, MissKelly thanks for allowing me to serve You. The food and friends were fantastic...SirSteven thanks for the house again and towing everyone this morning...It was great seeing Mandygirl and Dean ..to many to mention but good friends are great to bring in the new year with!
Good wishes to al for the new year!!! |
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YAY! Having so much fun at the Lake! Happy New Years..we are having a party!! Been getting ready for the past few days...cleaning, moving furntiure around and in. So little time so much fun. Bringing in the new year the RIGHT Way....FRIENDS surrounding me!! To those that will be at tonights party..see ya soon..to those that cant make it..i am sure you will miss a good one! |
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Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanakauh, Happy Kawanza, Seasons Greetings or just have a great day! |
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Great party at wicked last night, i enjoyed the fire play but the bondage scene was the best..VERY HOT!! Also, Sir Arthur, thank You so much for the needle play experience...it felt great and it was so pretty with the pink ribbons laced between my breasts. MystressDee and SrRapture thank You for another wonderful party. MasterCharles and julie as always was fantastic seeing You and spending time together. MsKellyand SirSteven..You were truly missed! |
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i canNOT believe i dropped my cell phone in the toilet and actually saw it being flushed.lol. .. ok..those of You that know me can stop laffing and saying that You can believe it.lol |
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Learning which people to allow in Your life is good...but i have recently come to a conclusion. i need to be just as, if not more careful about those that allow me into their life..and then look at why they do. Is it because we are the same? Because we have things in common? Or because they can get things from me and use me? ::Shaking head:: |
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went to see the Lion King last night at the Detroit Opera House. What an experience!! The costumes and sets were amazing! The lil girl that played nala should be a star! It was nice to get dressed up and go somewhere 'cultural" for a change, but it did make me realize how much i have missed that in my life. FANTASTIC~! |
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This weekend was a very nice change for this girl. i enjoyed the fellowship new experiences very much. Sitting in a hot tub surounded by snow was awesome..it may sound trivial to some but for me it was peaceful, quiet and very relaxing...lol..even when my hair froze running back in the hotel. Bondage and enjoyment with MasterAndrew was wonderful.
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Well it seems as if some of my journal entries were removed by the collarme gods..lol. |
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Again simple words can create the grandest of feelings and the more unexpected make them that much better! |
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Fears, abandonment, insecurities, freedom.....anyone out there know these feelings and the pain they can cause in moving forward? How do you get past them? How do you move forward and never look back? Work thru them yourself? Talk to friends? Allow people into Your life that truly wish to slay those demons so they will stay at bay forever? |
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Have You ever made a decision in Your life that in hindsite realize that is not the right one for You, and You are not sure if You will ever have the chance to right that seemingly unforgivable wrong? We all make mistakes and we all fall....we need those in our lives that catch us when we fall and if they cannot stop the fall, they are willing to go down with us. |
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i got a new computer this weekend, thank You Sir Arthur for Your help in that.lol.now i just need to get it up and running! |
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 i would just like to thank and acknowledge ALL Vets out there on this Veterans Day. Know i am thankful EVERY day of my life for the service, sacrifices and courage You have given to our country, not only today on Veterans Day but always.
For those of you that oppose the war and our government, please realize it is due to our miliatary service members, both past and present that allow You to voice your opinions as such. Without them, you would probably be executed or imprisoned for thinking 'adversely' from your countries government and/or heiarchy.
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A Strong Woman
is one who feels deeply and loves fiercely.
Her tears flow just as abundantly as her laughter.
A Strong Woman
is both soft and powerful.
She is both practical and spiritual.
A Strong Woman
in her essence
is a gift to all the world
but her surrender is a gift to herself!
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to own a submissive or slave that is weak brings no man pride..only chattel.......when i kneel as a strong independant woman surrendering fully to Him...THAT is what should bring Him pride. Knowing i am fully capable of taking care of myself, but even within that knowledge i choose to give that and all else i am up to Him |
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spent the day with GoddessKelly and had a blast. Took tons of pics of her feet in sexy shoes for her boy J....i know he appreciates them! |
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Last night was a great party at "The Space' i will admit i was reluctant to go alone as i normally have a 'group' around me at wicked, but i went and had a wonderful time. i even won the costume contest ! YAY me!! It was nice seeing old friends in a new environment, and meeting new people is always great. |
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Collars and ownersip. What do these mean to You? For me they are both a sense of deep committment and responsibility on both persons part. Neither should be taken lightly or rushed into, but yet the journey to that place should be relished and enjoyed.
Think of it like an amusement park. The lines are long, its hot outside and people are cranky while they wait..but once on that ride the time they waited didnt matter as the ride was the true adventure.
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A very wise man once said to me "if You fear it , You may create it" i have tried and tried to live by that and live without fear, but that is not always easy. |
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The Wicked party was tons of fun. It was great seeing people i hadn't had the opportunity to see in a long time, and met some new very interesting people. i even got to see 'eye to eye' with an old friend. |
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The bacholrette party was the bestest!! i was a bit 'squicked' about being on the receiving end of those slave boys waiting on us hand a foot..but i am thinking..hey thats not so bad..lol. Would i want to be on that side of the fence all the time..hecky nahhhh.i like being the one doing the services. The friends were awesome, the music was superb, the service was wonderful and the bride had a blast. To all involved thank You. Anyone else needing a bachorlette party.lol...we are looking for an excuse for another one! |
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To be thrilled at the touch of leather,
aroused by the sound of harsh words,
or satisfied by the security of rigid bondage
is the mark of a lover.
To be thrilled by the opportunity to provide a useful service,
aroused by a pleased nod,
and satisfied by the proverbial job well done
is the mark of a slave. |
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"The life that intends to be wholly obedient,
wholly submissive,
wholly listening,
is astonishing in its completeness.
Its joys are ravishing,
its peace profound,
its humility the deepest."
~~Thomas Kelly~~ |
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Being encouraged to be strong and submissive at the same time..is an interesting plan... i am strong, but when needed. Someone asked why only when needed? Makes me t hink..yeah why??? Something to think about! |
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Things are going well in my lil part of the world. i am quite happy and content..a feeling i am not actually accustom to. i wish i wasn't so freaking insecure..but with help i am sure that can be erased.
The party at "the Lake" was AWESOME! Good food, grood friends, and good times for all. The play was limited, but the conversations were great. i got to meet someone new, Johnny iffin You read this Sir it was a pleasure meeting You. Master Charles and julie ALWAYS a great pleasure. Miss kelly i love You and the girls to pieces, thank You all for being a part of my life. mark, it was nice seeing the smile that was on Miss Kellys face last night, thank You for that, and it was a pleasure meeting someone even quieter than i am.lol. giggles, yer a scream and thanks for doing my hair. lovely..hey You know what i wanna say girlfriend! Sir Steven, thanks for the great new way to get to work, and for lunch.
Now on to exciting things......i have great anticipation for this evening..along with some nervouseness..but if i didnt have that i just wouldnt be me.lol |
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The feelings within my heart are like an ocean. Smooth and calm as glass with the occassionally rippling of the waves, representing the ups and downs that are sure to come, and the sounds of it all rushing around you...but then the steely quiet and almost eary peacefullness that engulfs you when you are underwater. It can offer up serenity, fear and even danger..but in its beauty and entirety it is a wonderment. Such is how i am finding my place. Many emotions, many factors..but when weighed out...the brilliancy and completeness of it cannot be expressed by words, but only felt. |
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i had the most wonderful afternoon and evening.....i didn't think it would happen...but i believe i have finally found my way 'home".
i no longer am in search of anything or anyone..as i truly with all my heart...think my search is done....and i did not find Him..He appeared. When the student is ready the teacher will appear. Apparantly i was ready! |
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WOW...someone can turn my frown upside down in under 60 seconds...am i lucky or what? lol
It was a busy day, a looked forward to day and a day of anticipation...mmmmmm thoughts of what tomorrow will bring is exhilerating. |
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Missed my girl loverly's bday bash today. So not fair i have to work. i miss all you girls and MC...hope you all had enough fun for me too..and thought of me a lil bit. Know i love ya loverly and iffin there was anyway i coulda been there i sure woulda been all in pink and waiting as you walked in. |
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Did you ever wonder how much You should share with someone You have met here? Is it right to tell all? Do they REALLY want to know all your quirks?? Or is that just setting Yourself up for more hurt?
i am trying to trust. i am following my heart. i am truly giving all that i am ... make a wish that it wont be for naught or hurt! |
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Words from another sure can change how You view things and how You feel cant they? If they are mean words it can make You feel hurt or mean back. But when they are nice, kind words of encouragement and/or pride...mmmmmmmmm the feeling cant even be described. Also makes me realize that perhaps my words can have that effect on others the same way...well trust me it wont be the exactly same way.lol..i dont have that power...but...a smile and kind words can help to make another smile. What a wonderful missoin for ech day. So why don't we all give it try and make the day better for someone else! |
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Different levels of trust.
i trust people to talk to them, and possibly even meet.
The next level is where i have a bit more problems with....trusting to totally open up who i am. Wanting to say something but then stopping because it may make me sound dorkified. i am working very hard with that right now..i want so badly to trust..to believe that what i say and feel are ok. i get to a point and then its like a wall appears...out of no where. It is in front of me where i cant see past it, i cant even imagine what lays beyond it. i stop...i bawk.i hesitate..i wait.. i know i need to be helped over this wall and i think that once over it more will appear..but eventually i wont need so much help to get over them i will just automatically climb alone and then sit on the edge of that wall, dangling my lil feet and smile proudly because i have finally reached a place that i that i am at peace in sharing who i am and what i have to offer.
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Tasks to be done. Due dates. mmmmm .. kinda nice to have those even if only for a day! |
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There are many words and thougths i wish to put here, not so much for others to read, but to release them from my heart. Did You ever want something so badly that each day without it pushes You further away from ever receiving it?
i know my needs. i know my desires. i know my weaknesses and i know, tho may not always acknowledge my strengths.
Someone recently told me that i don't take compliments well. Later i was thinking about that statement and realized..when i hear something good about myself He is right, i most times don't believe it. Sad, because if this was one of my sisters that had this issue i would reassure them of their worth and the joy they bring to my life...so why do i have such a hard time realizing my own?
Sometimes when nice things are said i immediately think that they are said out of courtesy not from the heart.or i am for some reason embarassed to be told something nice about omyself ..or that they are said in order to get something from me. i am not a hard hearted women nor a pesimist, but i will admit selfworth at times is hard for me to find. Tho again i am good at 'putting it on' when it needs to be....what i want..rephrase..what i need is to wear that always...isnt there someone out there to help me put that on and wear it proudly like a princess wears her cape? |
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Waiting and wondering why the call doesn't come. Do others get tired of that? The questions, the doubts and the fears. Why hasn't He called? Was i not good enough? Will i ever be found by my One? Am i worthy of that? So many questions, so many fears....unfortunately suitcases filled with those items are carried forward in our lives and seem to effect us everyday.....someone want an old set of luggage? Because i would love to dump this set and start with a brand spanking new set. A set with nothing inside but hope, wishes, curosity and an old thing called innocence. |
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Never thought i would enjoy Sears so much without shopping....its an interesting place in the evening ::wink:: has some good after hour activity..lol.
Life is an adventure if nothing else, full of hills and valleys and many many plateaus. i am finding that the valleys definately make the plateaus and hills much more appreciated. Without those low valleys the others could not be as prized. Each day holds a treasure we just have to take the time to unbury it! |
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Last night was full of many joys. Saw many old friends that i have not seen in a long time, met a few new ones and shared great laughs with "Miss Kelly and the Girlz". Got to watch Sage enjoy something she has wanted to experience and see the joy on that ones face....and got given the most beautious black bra with roses on it, in the parking lot of Big Boys no less.lol. WHEEEEE
Mistress Camille and her slut michael thanks for the lil rope demo and Your always cheery disposition and patience with this girl. Master Charles and julie thank You for always making me feel special, even within a crowded room.
There is one person that i got to talk to last night, briefly but it was appreciated more than i could ever put into words. Thank You for that my friend!
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Looking forward to going to wicked tonight. Sure it will be good friends and good times! mmmm maybe i will be a little tied up later this evening.lol..sounds good to me! |
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Interesting that when You talk to people here online and then finally meet them and it doesn't work for a relationship they don't talk to You anymore. So what does that say about that person? Makes me need to rethink how i repsond and converse with people. i just don't understand. i am who i am here or real time...thank god i have good friends that are REAL! |
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Had a great roadtrip yesterday with my girl Loverly..went to meet a very nice person. The meet didn't go as planned as personal things came up and the meet was cut short, but the trip with her is ALWAYS an adventure! Love You girl! And Miss Kelly...thanks for the help! |
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It was nice seeing people i knew and then meeting new people at the munch last night. To those of You i got a chance to spend time with after the munch, thank You..was great fun! |
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Thanks to all for sharing in the fun times at last night's party. Thank You to the House Host and Hostess with the Mostest!
Master Charles You can set me on fire anytime...i loved it! |
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