Serial abusers haunt the BDSM community. They cause far more problems than they should as a minority in the lifestyle.

This is in no way how to spot a "fake Dom". Too much of that is flying around. A dominant is what he or she is, with their own styles and ways. I am instead speaking of serial abusers.

For the most part they target new s types, but some revel on being able to "steal" the occasional experienced slave/submissive from their Dominant partner, Some go to the extreme of making s type profiles and lurking in chats and forums to refer s types to themselves. It is such an obsession to them they spend almost every waking moment in this cause.

It is an internet incarnation of what in the old days we used to call a "headhunter". These men and women used to work hard to get married men and women to cheat on their husbands/wives. In some cases fully leave their spouse and run off. The worst of these used pen pal clubs to write people across the country, send fake pictures, and lure away spouses. They kept track sickly of their victories much like serial killers, literally "carving another notch in the bedpost" with each conquest. Some reveled in leaving a trail of illegitimate children behind. Some collected gifts like watches.

The internet has just allowed these people to really expand their game. It has given them tools unsurpassed to exercise their desires. They in fact lurk in every social meeting and dating media available, not just the BDSM community. Facebook, Eharmony, CollarSpace, , twitter, literally everywhere.

Now, how does a s type spot them? The clues can be obvious when aware of them.

1. Their friends list. It often will be huge, almost always full of the targeted sex group, and contain few or no friends from the BDSM community. Sometime they contain none. Basically newly created "clean" profiles made for each "fishing" trip. This is often the case in the worst ones because they learn word gets around.

2. Experience; They will often say they have had many slaves over the years that they have cherished or loved. Frankly if that were the case they would still have them. Easy to spot lie if you think about it.

3. They will have collected tons of cool writings, pictures and such that they KNOW speaks to a s types soul. Not humor pics but "deep" stuff meant to make the s type think they are a wise and wonderful Master/Mistress/Dom/Domme. They spend much time baiting their trap.

4. They are too good to be true. If after chatting a while they seem like the perfect D/M for you it is likely because they have loads of experience chatting up s types. It takes them very little time after reading your profile's likes/loves/kinks to tailor their conversation just to you. They are skilled at it. The wisest s types have very little in their profiles to provide intelligence to these predators. Wisdom often bought at an emotional cost from past contact with predators.

5. Pictures. They will demand pics yet refuse giving them out for whatever reason. No pic no reply is a common good policy. Webcam is the best.

6. Telephone. Most people work of course so have periods where they should not be called out of courtesy. However many of these predators are married or otherwise involved. If they refuse phone numbers, restrict when you can call, because they are married or partnered with someone that would suspect frequent calls. Personally a potential slave can call Me any time day or night. I have taken "I need you" calls at 0 dark thirty many times from people I care about, not just lifestylers or sexual interests.

7. Restriction. Any M/D that immediately wants to cut you off from everyone, all contact, sometimes even friends and family outside the lifestyle should be HIGHLY suspect. The exception being those s types who truly desire that in their life. In those cases see the other listed signs and proceed with caution.

8. Money. Suspect any M/D who demands money. There are those looking for a "pay Dom/me" and I respect that. Even those looking for financial blackmail, more power to you. However, when a M/D tells you to liquidate everything to start a new life with them... and send the cash
Western Union so they can start the process... you have just sent them their trophy. When yo go there you are likely to be used a while perhaps at best then turned out unemployed in a strange town and penniless. They might hold out for a total fleecing and have you sell your car on arrival because a total live in slave doesn't need it's own car. I have seen many homeless s types begging online for a place to stay or a trip to the bus station and ticket home.

9. Children. This is the hardest one to address. Some of these predators seek as their target the children of their s types. This type is despicable because they know that s types are less likely to call police for fear the children will be taken due to lifestyle ties. Many s types with children worry about losing their children for this reason without any abuse and having loving home environments. If a child is abused and they are threatened with exposure of their involvement in BDSM they are confronted with an unbearable situation. To them the choices are tolerate it, get rid of the abusive M/D type and try to repair the damage, or call the authorities and possibly wave goodby forever to their children. When in contact with a M/D type carefully watch how He/She interacts with the children. If in initial contact the M/D type focuses on them too much this is a signal too. Simply do not mention children as anything but perhaps "family obligations" until you are sure the M/D type is wanting you.
10.  Beware of "training masters" that have no permanent live in long term verifiable slave of their very own.  No matter if they are "online trainers" or taking in trainees it is often just an excuse to keep fresh meat on their table.  The online only trainers are just looking for masturbation material or the opportunity to interfere with a M/D's house.  Truth is only YOUR current or future actual M/D type can really train you into what they want.  Of course if you truly love scribbling things on your body and drinking urine on webcam for someone who will never really matter to you, or really train you to be what your heart wants, go right ahead.

11. IF you are already involved NO respectable M/D type will try to snatch you away. Period. In any way. Even if you show under consideration on your profile. If you are still attached in any way to a M/D type they will not offer protection, training without your M/D types permission, or any indication they might want you. They also will not tell you to leave your M/D type because that is between you and them. If you are disloyal and looking for a new M/D while in service to one only a fool or a predator would accept you. Predators look for the strays from the herd.

As stated, these predators are skilled. They fail a lot but get better with each failure and success. It literally costs them little or nothing to pursue their passion for ruining others lives. Fact is some profit handsomely gaining money, property, and gifts.
I have dealt with the lifestyle predators for 17 years. I still refuse to limit My slaves and prospective slaves contact with others in and outside the lifestyle to spite much personal pain and disappointment. Hopefully this will make a difference to some s type somewhere.