Allow me introduce myself.

After over a hal, and living in both Europe, and the Far
East, and the personal owning of over twenty slaves/submissives/curious people,
with as many seven at one time, to include a married couple; here
is what I have come to believe.

Are we born into this lifestyle, do we grow into the lifestyle, or does our environment mold us?

I have had "submissives" who had a very heavy religious upbringing,
and she can only enjoy sex if she is punished afterwards. I have had
some who got turned on watching old Perils of Pauline episodes as she
gets tied to the tracks. Others just get wet with the smell of
leather. And for some, a hardware store is a very dangerous place. I
knew Pauline Klaw, sister to Irving Klaw, the guy who discovered
Betty Paige. She ran a warehouse for years
that sold pictures from old movies where the heroine gets tied up.
She did quite well up to her death. She told me that could find
any "kink" in those old films, and was asked for many such photos.
So there are plenty like us out there.

So, is there a "BDSM" gene? A "submissive" chromosome in our DNA?
All I know is that these feelings have been traced back to Roman, and
Greek times, and even further back. So it is not "an unnatural sex
act".

Don't bother to ask "why am I like this"? Just enjoy the
feelings. and if you don't enjoy it, then ask why, and find
the "path", position, or kink that "floats your boat". Maybe you are
that rare individual who just enjoys plain, old sweaty sex.

What ever it is, enjoy it, have fun, that's what it is all about.
There is no mystical or mysterious "why?" it just is. The more you
question, the less time there is to enjoy.

Once a submissive finds the right kind of Dominant man/woman..ie,
a "Master", "Mistress", a "Trainer", or an "Owner"..they must decide on the rules
that they will live by. Limits are set and when the collar is
placed, (be it a training tool, or a symbol of submission) then the
learning really begins..the sub learns to trust and obey..the Dom/Domme
learns the limits and how far the sub is willing to stretch.

Punishment is only a training tool, never an end unto itself. The
Dom/Domme must be able to stretch the sub's limits, a bit at a time, since
in most cases the sub really doesn't know herself how far she can go,
or what really makes her boat float.

The Dom/Domme and the sub are both in this for the pleasure. I have known
some Dom/sub couple where sex is not a part of the equation. She
gets off on the humiliation and degradation, and he gets off on
having her obey and punishing her when she doesn't, and by the way,
they are married. but not to each other.

We, boys and girls, are in this for two reasons: First, because there
is something that drives us to dominate or submit. The other is for
the pleasure that we derive from these actions.

Any one who demands.."no limits"..complete submission..or complete
control over mind, body and soul, is either insane ( in which case,
run don't walk to the nearest exit), or doesn't really have a clue as
to what this is all about. (teenagers who have just read De Sade
come to mind)

To "own" a person, to be totally responsible for her actions, her
health, her well being is an awesome responsibility, and should not
be taken lightly. To look into her eyes as she lays naked in a tattoo
parlor while a stranger places your mark on her body is a most
moving, and precious moment.

Experiment with the roles you have chosen. Is she only into pain?, or
does she like the humiliation?, or does she just relish the control
over her?

Set the rules for day to day living, what are her duties and
responsibilities? What does she wear around the house ( my
favorite "uniform" is heels, thigh highs (seamed in the back of
course) man's white dress shirt, pressed with all but the bottom
three buttons removed, and nothing else except her collar. A wrap
around skirt is kept near the front door in case of an emergency.

Do you punish her for infractions every night, or do you keep
a "tally" board and do it all on Friday or Saturday night? Each
black mark indicates a stroke of the whip/crop/cane/belt/lash/hand on
the chosen part of the body-ass, breasts, thighs, belly, p*y, soles
of her feet? When I started out in this lifestyle, I would have
given odds that the worst place to strike a female was her pussy.
Turns out that the inside of the thighs are more sensitive on most of
the females I have encountered. I guess John Norman was right.

If she pleases you in an extra ordinary way, a blue or green mark is
put on the tally board as well. 3 "good" marks cancel out one black
mark.

I have a card & dice game for doling out punishments if anyone is
interested.

Then there is the reward side, if she is good and does all she is
required to, do you reward her? How would she be rewarded?
Do you tie her to the bed with blindfold, ear plugs, and insert
vibrating butt plug and dildoes, with brand new extra strength
batteries, then go watch reruns of MacGyver? (That man is a God, ten
thousand uses of Duct Tape, and a Swiss Army knife!)

The vision of the man slapping a riding crop against his highly
polished knee high leather boots, yelling "KNEEL B*" maybe the
image some have of us, but that isn't us.

This is not a game..it is a way of life that has very heavy
consequences... Remember, we are in this because we feel the need,
and it feels ..good!






Sir Stephen,

Count Magnus de la Gardie