Distance is my answer to disrespect. If you can not respect my wishes.  Then I can not meet you, and remove you from my presence.

should you become blocked after looking at my profile, if there is not an email in email from you, if do email me and it something totally out there, or if you automatically send me a cockshot. It is an instant block, because I do not want to play childrens games. if you have not emailed me, it is a block if I check your profile and we are not compatible, I do not play the game, I can fix you. No thanks life is too short for mundane chores. so if you get blocked it is your own fault not mine. 

Oh one more thing if you are not from this country, you know instant block

Subs really expect me to care what they are looking for. Go to the next window...

My life is about what and who makes me happy. btw if you think you have read this some place else, I have it on my profiles, and they all have my pic on them.  

I have not been on this profile for a very long time.  But I feel I should come back to it, as their are individuals who still like to push my buttons. Finding a sub on this site seems to be impossiible for me. 

I am not a player, I know what I want and what I do not.  And if it does not fit who you want me to be, I really do not want to meet you. 

I have not been on this name in a few months, I have been more on my other sn.  If you know me, I am sure you know it or can figure it out on your own.

I do not get along with individuals who make me email back and forth endlessly or talk on the phone for endless amounts of time to come up empty what is the sense.  Yes I usually make someone wait a few weeks before meeting them in person helps weed out the chaff as it is called time wasters. Then I get the ones oh I am coming this is what my vehicle is and then never show. What is up with all this ignorance, do you think  I have nothing better to do than wait to find out if you will show up. 

Or the ones who call me a player just because I will not play by their rules.  Too bad, so sad. I do not play games nor do I live by anyone elses rules. If you do not like me I REALLY DO NOT CARE. 

I took a tumble last Friday so I am not going to be on for a  bit, I am fine, did not break anything, just badly bruised.

Ok so yes I have 2 profiles but some one saying they can not trust me is so close minded. Both of my profiles state I am a bbw, yes I am. Both of my profiles state that I am dominant, and again yes I am. One states I am a no nonsense Mistress, and the other puts that in text. So not trusting because I have 2 profiles is like not trusting me because I have lived in more than one state during my lifetime. As of right now I am back to 1 profile, my original one.  Getting to know someone and then deciding if you can trust them is one thing but this is just bogus. I was and always have been and always will be open and honest with anyone at any time. I do not let anyone make me feel less about myself because they are not accepting.  But some people can not get off their judgemental pedestals long enough to accept what does not matter.  I have no regrets in my life, I will tell you like it is, nothing sugar coated. When I tell you something you can bank on it. I am honest to a fault, I believe in loyalty and respect. 

If you do not want to know me, I am good with that. Close mind individuals are so unattractive to me.

I have always said things happen for a reason. And it is so true. Even when it comes to everyday things. Other than just the people who enter your life and who are meant to be there for whatever reason. And even how long they are with you. I am the sort of person, I will act on something in my own time, I am not rushed into it. If I do happen to take someone elses thoughts into consideration, I usually end up regretting it.  As with a tenant I have, nameless wanted me to give another nameless the benefit of the doubt he had changed, I did and damn didn't that whitewash come right off. So I am putting roadblocks in his way, every chance I get to see what he will do. Wouldn't hurt my feelings if he left, he wouldn't be returning I can assure anyone of that. Third time would not be a charm. 

I did manage to see clearly on a sub that was coming,  I have not seen since Dec 20th, when he told me he would be back 2nd week of Jan. I know he is alright by means of what I don't wish to share, but he either has blocked  me or just refusing my e-mails. So I have blocked him and this time it is for good. He was not what he claimed, I just put  up with him for selfish reasons of my own. But not because he was what I wanted.  I do have a sub I will start seeing again in March and am looking forward to seeing him again. He is exactly as he claims and he has proven himself. In more ways than one.. 

I do plan on meeting another close to the beginning of March.

Was reading a local newspaper and saw where a submissive from collarspace that I knew had passed away.  We had talked alot and met up a few times, I did not use him as a sub, but I did talk him into a few things on occasion.

I will miss him greatly.   R I P  dear Aaron

Attention it has come to my Attention

That my profile isn't saying what I want.

Pure and simple in black and white.

I want a live in sub/slave.

Meaning your duties would include keeping me happy, which includes keeping my lawncare  up, chores around my house, anything from indoors to outside. If you are looking for a cushy position, look elsewhere. You do not need to be able to cook, but know what end of a hammer to use. Not be afraid to get your hands dirty with real dirt and not freak out if there is horse shit in it. 

I am big in training anal subs, as well as cocksuckers. You show your true worth when you will open wide and learn to suck cock properly for me. 

If this does not cover it all, get in touch or don't.

Haven't made down to the garage yet, been so sick for a week now,  it is allergy overload time for me happens twice a year, every year. Some years are bad,  this one is horrid. It will be gone shortly is the good part anyways. Can't sit up for long feel like I am gonna hurl, can't lay down for long as it is the same scenerio. So toughing it out away from people.

My car goes back on the lift tomorrow morning, something let loose under the car and it died twice today, once in traffic, so called garage when I got home,  and was told to bring it in he thinks he knows what it was,  so back it goes in the morning for a look see, this is a   free be since it was suppose to be okay when I got it back last evening.

Got my rig back today, with out a vehicle for 3 months was freaking hard, but it needed an engine. So now I am pretty poor, paid 2/3's of the bill  today and will  get the rest paid off before the end of the month.  Then I need to have the brakes worked on. Considering everything it will be well worth it. I have an errand that was coming up fast that needed to be done and no way to do it. But got my car back just in time. So tomorrow I get to drive my rig after 3 months.  I finally feel more right than I have in the last 3 months. 

I pulled the posts about my dog, he is not going anywhere yet. I  put too many years on him, he is 15 going on 16. I saw a pic of him 12 yrs ago when he was 3 going on 4. He is still older than most labs that I know of. He is doing much better, since his supplements have finally obtained an even level in his body.

Still waiting on my rig, was about to purchase another one, but something is not setting right with me, if you tell me you will get back to me within a few days, do so. My roommate told me write them so I shot off an email and no response, so I am done. If they wanted to sell me a suv they would have gotten back to me. Then my roommate, says call them, and I go nope, they don't want my $$$ no biggie I didn't really want a car payment on top of the repair bill of mine. 

These wannabe subs that pull apart my profile so they can get the bdsm "experience". How foolish can they be???

sending wishes out for a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all that know me, and a few that wish they did. 

another no show for the live in position, I am so over this. 

Timing belt went in my rig and literally tore my engine to crap bent a bunch of stuff waiting on another engine  best scenerio for right now.

Looking for subs that play well with others, must be d/d free, and vacinated with proof.

Must be some what local, within a 100 mile radius, and available with little notice..

Apply directly through email to Ms Lorna. 

I have been thinking for awhile now, that I am going to stop looking through the winter months, since I keep coming up empty handed for what I want most.  I am 67 and after a while the search gets old. I have a ton of things that will keep me busy, so I won't be on here so much. I will still check my emails daily but not spend much time.

It is that wonderful time of year when my vehicle starts acting up. Yep will not start for any thing. Drove it most of the day Tues, and it started every time. Thought maybe the issue I had been having was taken care of. But nope it was not, Weds I go out to make a run to the store, yea not happening. So with my tremors I was thinking maybe it was me,  but nope today, someone else went out to start it. And it was a no go again. So I will call the garage on Monday to see if they can come get it, and if they can fix it, inspect it as well, since that will be due soon. So much fun. 

I am so tired of these so called slaves that only want what they want. Are you kidding me think I am going to drop everything to write to Wisconsin, you will not come here, I am not a fool. And this word, eventually is just not a word I believe in, you want to email, and talk until you feel ready. Ready to me is just jump into it. That works for me. Not all these words, which mean absolutely nothing in the end. Action speaks louder than words. So to the individual that claimed to be a slave that blocked me,, happy thanksgiving, and who knows. 

When I tell an individual a potential that I am an open book, they can take it for real. I do not know how to be anything but REAL. I don't get how individuals think they can get to know me, without meeting me. Just seems really foolish to me, just a game to waste my time. No, I do not like talking on the phone. I do not have kik,skype or any of those things. I am old school you sit in my kitchen and talk to me, if you want me to take you seriously. 

I am, the sort of individual that will try things. Like getting married, oh  yea that was

wonderful, no not so much. When his true colors came out, it was not a good time, telling me what to do, which got him no where, trying to run me with intimidation, yea that worked like a fart in church. I don't have fear. Not from intimidation like someone hitting their fist next to my head, hahaha he broke his knuckle, funny I didn't feel a thing. All I did was laugh, my sons did too. They told him, you can't scare our mom doesn't work. So the husband got it in his pee brain, to run me off the road with his car, didn't work I am a better driver. Then to ram me head on, oh yea he was so loving. I don't play chicken well, I figured out where to hit his car and not do as much damage to mine, back then my vehicle was more like a tank, alot of metal. This was all going down when I was trying to live in a vanilla world, so 2 things were against me from the beginning. He told me the night we had married that now he owned my ass, yes you got it I saw RED. NO ONE SAYS THAT TO

ME. We lasted a whole 6 months living in the same house, I got a separation and then tried

working on something so broken, super glue couldn't fix it. I would not have tried but my

extended family told me to try and fix it. They didn't know what I was living through. 

I will not repeat that chapter of my life, once was more than enough. 

If I had showed him who I was, he would not have liked it. But I was trying to tone me down. Yea that didn't work well. There was a lot going on, and I had started a business through it all. 

It has been roughly 22 days since I quit opioids and went onto CBD gummies. What difference it has made in my life. I had been skeptical about starting the gummies, as I had an adverse effect on some I had tried previously, I had tried a few different kinds, it is basically trial and error til you find what works. These do not have any THC in them so I don't have that out of control feeling nor do I get the munchies.  But since getting off the opioids I do have an appetite while before I was lucky if I remembered to eat anything. 

When an individual contacts me about becoming my slave, and I make sure I tell them in the 1st email, that I am not a chatter.  It is a waste of my time, I can not get to know someone by emails, it is just words, no emotion, no facial expressions. How does one get to know another individual through text messages. I am old school, I do not understand how anyone things words on a screen has any truth. I could tell someone I have a horn coming out of the top of my head, and without actually talking to the me in person you won't know if I do or not, or I know, I know you think if I talk to you on a cell phone you will be able to see, hahaha not, cell phones can be positioned so you only see what someone wants you to see. 

The point I am making is when an individual says do you use apps so we chat. HELLO you were told I don't chat, so they get a block. If you can't understand I don't chat. I don't stick around to try and explain anything to you. It is clear you do what you want. Like the one who wanted my phone number, instead I called him and he did not answer his phone, I told him exactly when I would call. Run your own agenda gets you ZZIP. I tell everyone I don't play games with anyone. 

OK cut the crap, I am not submissive. 

This is why I take issue with male dominants, 

they do not understand that women are not all

submissive, 

I DO NO SUBMIT TO ANYONE DO YOU UNDERSTAND

I have been taking gummies now for 10 days, and no opioids at all. I pulled 

myself off them completely, I was having such side effects that I needed

to make a big change and I did, make the change, since I have emptiedx

the opioids out of my system, I have been feeling so much better 

that my roommates have taken notice of I have finally found my way out of the brain fog I was in. I didn't realize what side effects really were, I knew the stomach bleeds, and the constipation, but those were mild compared to what I felt, but now 10 days later, I am feeling much better, and I only need 2 gummies to get me through the pain, if it gets worse I can take more gummies, and no feeling like I am doing something wrong. No more urine  tests every 3 months. 

I am trying a new gummy to see if it will help with my pain. Yesterday was my first one and today is my 2nd, and I don't feel high, which is one of the important things to me, when I have that feeling of being high, I don't like it. 

It is an out of control feeling and someone who craves control, it is unsettling to say the least. 

I don't have pain today, I did just before I chewed up the gummy but it is gone now. As it was yesterday. I will use these when I don't use the pills. 

Must  be I  am too honest when it comes to what I want out of a 

live in. Maybe I should approach it differently. But if I were physically

to do it myself I wouldn't have this need for help. I am not changing my 

needs to accommodate a live in sub. Come on, it's not seriously physical 

labor. Mowing my lawn in the summer, in the spring plant  my raised bed gardens.

In the fall get my deck and house buttoned up for the winer months. Putting plastic up on the porch to keep the wind out, tarping down my deck furniture, and draining the hot tub.  It is not like I want you outside naked using a snow blower on my driveway. or maybe that is what you want????????

Quit being so scared, you can't have anything in life unless you come out of theshadows.

And be what you tell me you want.

I don't understand why individuals play head games, it does really nogreat purpose instead it makes for rash emotions. I don't play head games, I tell it like it is pure and simple. If by chance you cross my path and tell me what you think I want to hear, you will be the loser not I. I know what I want and how capable I am to getting it.

I do know the fear of the unknown is so scary to potential subs/slaves that tey talk themselves out of what might have been the best choice they could ever make for themselves. But that fear, is still there, they have watched all this porn, and seen things they can't wrap their minds around. Just because it's on a porn site doesn't make it real, they are ed poorly but they are. They play a role, poorly for most, but still it is a role to make money.  Step out of the shadows and be what you claim, some of us dominants are real and will train you properly. Making a diamond from a lump of coal.  You want what you say you want but you are not willing to risk what you really could have..  or stay in that unhappy place and keep playing games.  YOUR CHOICE

I was keeping tabs on the slave that was suppose to be coming, and I am pretty sure, I am being ghosted now. I left a message and it was read, but then when I checked his reply or lack of, it said his  profile was no longer available. I am not dropping off, I had thought about it, but there are many more subs/slaves available. I will just waait it out and see what happens everything is not fully set up on my end. His bed is showing up in a couple of days. I am putting 2 twin beds into the slave room, so that I may have more than one should I want to go that route. I thought about it, if I just checked out that made no real sense, I was still empti-handed. So I will continue my quest, and see what manifests itself.  Everyone in my home is ready for a slave to arrive. I even purchased a new computer for me to write up a contract and be able to print it off. As my old laptop just won't do it for whatever lame reasoning. It is the OS that prevents the printing, so taking care of that problem. I don't let much stand in my way. 

wondering...............

 I have had to extract a family member and her child from an abusive situation.  It does not affect who I am or what I do. My home was the only safe place for them to land, and personally I would not standby and not extract them from it. I still see my subs for sessions, I am having a live in slave. All are not affected by my decisions of what and who is in my home. I am an open book to those that matter to me.  

Years ago, decades ago,  I was in a bad relationship and didn't feel I had a safe place to land, I  vowed from the moment I  was out, I would be that safe place for people who matter to me. Being that safe place does not affect who and what I am, but any one who has to come for a safe place knows they are safe here with me. I take no bs literally, if you think you want to mess with me you better bring a lunch you are gonna need it. 

Taken on a new slave the end of Sept, hoping it's for real.

I am pretty sure this is not the place for me. I  have not had any real success in finding what I want, so rather than continue to beat a dead horse, not literally. But it is time for me to move on. Too many wannabes and individuals with their own agendas, Not for me.  I know what it means to be dominant, and it isn't that I bend over and kiss a submissives ass. I don't ask anyone to be anything but real. 

Ok guys, I am not looking for a vanilla male, who has no clue. I don't want to be your chat partner, get a freakin clue. I am a bitch. I won't put up with your foolish antics. I am not here to make all your dreams and fantasies come true. Be who you say you are or shuffle back under the rock you slithered out from.

I have been on this site for a very long time. I can say I have met a handful of potentials, and I have met a large amount of wannabes. When I say met, I mean literally in person not on the phone or skype but in my kitchen. I have wasted countless hours with wannabes that only wasted my time. Either with phone calls or meetings that never happened because of on their part. I have a birthday coming up quickly, and I am at the point in my life where I am tired of wasting my precious time, trying to meet the one I want. It seems senseless to me to keep putting myself out there for more of nothing. Asking me what your days will look like is like asking me what color the sky is in the dark. Until a potential is actually here will I know what I can get out of this individual. It is not on a checklist or in a form. 

I have heard it all..

I want a submissive to make my easier, that does not mean I only want sex. How will that make my life easier, I need thing done around my home that will make my life easier.. Things I used to be able to do on my own, but since having to use a walker I can not do those things,  like hang a light, even change a light bulb, oh yea that is pure hell, trying to bend my head backwards to see if I am getting the dang thing in a hole with a grabber. oh yea tricky is not the word I would use. down right f*cking impossible.  But when I say what I want a submissive runs and hides. Oh they want what they want and nothing more.  Want to put a smile on my face change the oil in my car with a butt plug in. Hang a door with your nipples on fire, oh and I am not telling you how that will happen. Build a stall for my pony while you are in a humbler, now that will make me smile. But no that is not what submissives want, all they want is to be drinking my pee, or being a toilet. Which I highly doubt in real life they would do. Watch  porn get more ideas, then wake up and talk to a real dominant. Come meet me and ask me stupid questions like what am I going to do with you. Get your head out of your a$$ and find out. Because if it doesn't suit your tiny mind I am sure you will be out the door.

I am not finding what I am looking for. When they do show up, they are clearly not what I want.  I honestly did not think finding a live in would be this difficult. But again, what I want isn't what I find. 

So I am pulling it off the table. Unless someone manly steps forward. And is not afraid of work.

Last time I checked it is about what makes my life easier. And so far that is not what I am finding. 

I think by my journal  posts it is obvious I am real, I am not just about sex or whatever everyone comes here for.  While I totally love sex, having to take meds to keep my pain at bay, can make my sex life challenging, when I don't feel certain things. I recently felt the need to let a sex slave go, because I did not want to fake feeling anything. Kind of obvious when I don't have an orgasm, when I am very orgasmic. I have been put through the emotional wringer by some subs and it wasn't easy. I don't take things personally but I do feel things. And what has been happening to me with so called subs in the last few months was far from being fair to me. While I didn't take it out on anyone, I just blocked the individual that did it to me. And moved on to the next one. 

Here is a little insight of who I am, I am disabled I walk with a rolling walker,  I live on social security which is not much, so I have taken in roommates to help me support my home. I own my own home, and I am not going to lose it because someone doesn't think I need 2 roommates. I would never put anyone in a bad situation, roommates or subs alike. 

I have lived in bad situations before I moved here, and know what it can be like. Since moving here in 2009,  no one has had to worry about anything while living with me, submissive or just roommates. I do not take offense if a sub doesn't want to be here,  but don't take offense when I block you because I am done wasting my time on something going no where. 

For the live in position--

I am not looking for a cookie cutter sub/slave. Do not send me messages what does that mean. Get on the internet and look it up. If you don't know how, you should not be on the net. I am tired from what I have been finding. I am not your dictionary. How I see it is if you don't know what I mean you are not what I am looking for. 

This is only for the live in position.  I am still looking regular subs for sessions. With that said don't have a laundry list. or what you want me to do for you. It won't work.. I am about me not about you. 

Why do individuals have to be such liars, and think it is alright. If you have no intentions to come, do not text me, you can not wait to meet me. I mean seriously is it that hard to tell the truth. I set up appts to have no shows, I have a life, and could be doing something productive not sitting and waiting for someone not to show up. It isn't just from this site. But this is where I am ranting about it.  I also rant on the other sites as well, I do not understand why people have to be so deceptive, it is just insane. 

I am who I am, and when I say something I mean it 110%. I don't waste anyones time, I could have been spending time with 3 little guys that have my heart but nope I sat and waited on someone who didn't come, and has not messaged me in over 7 hours. He was from OK, which I knew it was a long shot, but really be honest do not hit me up if you are not real.

I have made a major decision, about the room I have available. If I don't put someone in it by the 31st which I know is just days away. I will start answering people looking for rooms offline, I am done playing these childish games "subs" think they are playing on me. 

Another one bites the dust, I get these emails from TN all numbers for a screenname. He thinks he is giving me a good line, then I start pushing back when he says I am a guy, so when I reply he blocks me. Guess he did not like one of my breast is bigger than his head. I do not play game why can not anyone get that.Next

Again another no show on the live in position. Up until the actual date to meet, he was perfectly fine, asking inappropriate questions that I quickly squashed.But still claiming he was coming and wanted the position.Why oh why can individuals not be truthful. But that is on them, as they are out for only one thing as  I found out yesterday. Since the person from here did not show up. I offered it to the next in line. And he wanted to meet on facetime first, which is perfectly fine. Well all he wanted on facetime was to jerk off on cam and when I told him NO, then I am immediately blocked. Come on, that is so childish. Have a temper tantrum because an authority tells you NO. Number one, he wasn't submissive, he was a complete a$$. Oh well, NEXT, oh well I will either find a live in sub..

May 10,2022  

Was my sissy's first time with a cock to suck. He did very well, was able to handle it without gagging. Said he learned to suck cock by watching videos. Was a first for the male connected to the cock as well, he was not able to release. Which was not a big deal, will try again at a later date.

What my scheduling looks like right now: * and that could change at anytime

Mondays are my days off to catch up on me

Tues and Weds are subs session days

Thurs and Fri are interview days

Weekends are mine even after I find a live in. 

**Subs with regular sessions will know in advance if there is any changes

I am tired of these so called wannabes coming to my profile, and when I look at their profile to see what they offer, it states nothing but to be continued. All that means to me is they are a troll, just looking at profiles.Hoping they can grab your pic or profile to add to their massive wall of pics. What is wrong with that pic. TROLLS. It is too bad that the trolls can not be stopped before they enter a site to get their jollys off on. There are several of them here.

Well the potential live- in was a no show, NEXT... I don't let any of this get me down, it is just not worth the drama. So I can see a block in his future. 

I keep my age up to date on my profile, I am 66. I do have other profiles on other sites, but I seem to find my best sub potentials here. I did find a couple of subs off another site. I will say I do not have more than one profile on this site.  I do not tell stories, I see no reason too. I am who I am. What you see is what you get. I am dominant through and through.

Long ago I tried to be submissive, oh yea that was a disaster. So no there isn't a submissive bone in my body, I have looked, and there aren't any.

OK let me make this perfectly clear. I have one sissy, and I don't want any more. So if you see where I posted about them do not send me an email. This is not my norm, I took him on for a reason which everyone else doesn't need to know. But I do not wish to take on another. 

The first session today went very well with my sissy. Better than I expected. And help from MsB was greatly appreciated. 

Have taken on a sissy, and will be meeting him for our first session today.  I truly am looking forward to breaking sissy in today.

I will meeting other potential subs for sessions in the near future.

I do believe I have a sub that will be returning from hiatus which I am happy about.

I am starting to feel like myself again.

Some one who wants my time, but will not send me a current pic,

hmm most cell phones have a camera on them, what does it take to snap a pic, oh yea I am suppose to be more than trusting, not happening I have something for you, and it's not what you want it's a BLOCK. 

I have been asked what brings me joy. Hmm let me think putting that deer in the headlight look on a subs face. Makes  me extremely hot. It is not a look that they can give for any reason other than what I put them through. That raw emotion when they think is she really going to do that to me. Having a new sub open his mouth to receive his first really cock to suck. Oh that is such a joyous time for me. Pounding a subs ass with penentration, until he moans uncontrollably because I have hit his sweet spot and worked on it. Making his cock drip, until he is almost ready wanting to grab it and stroke it, and knowing that is not allowed. Pushing a sub into sub space, and keeping him there. 

I listen to a subs breathing and when I know exactly at what point to push him or her a little further to quicken their breathing. When I have a sub begging to ejaculate and I just simply stop what is causing the pressure to build, once it has subsided to start building it again and repeating this several times. 

Putting a sub in cuffs suspended from the hooks in my beams in my room. His ankles in cuffs on either end of spreader bar. Totally nude, waiting to see what his Mistress is going to do with him next.  That remains to be seen....

It has been a long hard road for me accepting a disabiliting injury to where I am today.  I had to overcome my tremors I have had since around 12 yrs of age. They were handed down to me from a grandmother. I can think of a few other things I would of rather had, but being the stronger sibling it landed on me like a homing pigeon. So back to my long road its been let think. It has been 18 yrs since my life came a screeking halt literally.  2004 was the year, I have always been a control freak lead my life in a structured fashion, I don't like the  feeling of having no control or structure, but learning to live without it for 5 years was beyond hell on earth for me. I had to sell all my possessions or pack what few things I could keep away in boxes of memories. For  5 years I resided in a finished basement, I turned into an apt in my mother's home. My dignity was shot, my strong will was the one thing that kept me from loosing myself. Lawyers and DR appts were non stop in my daily routines. In 2009 my page was finally able to turn again and I was able to purchase my dream home. I held on to this hope to have this home for more years than I can think probably since 1994. I drove by it several times a week, and would think some day. Little did I realize everything was going to start falling into place in Nov 2009. Then in 2014 just before moving my mother into my home, I had a stroke, between the stress and not taking care of me. But it was only a small  one no residual damage to me, other than my injury in 2004. My spine is slowly loosing more and more discs.. But I have learned to manage and what I can't do, I let go. I took on several hobbies. 

 After loosing my mother in 2015, in 2016 I fell and totally messed my left ankle to point I was placed in a cast from my toes to my crotch. Oh yes that was fun, PT wanted me to learn to balance myself, the woman with no balance because of a spinal injury. So after being in the hospital for 4 weeks I had enough, I had PT get me into my car on the passenger side against their wishes, I had emts get me into my house, I had friends bring my bed into the living room, I had my cast literally cut off by a friend, and I proceeded to heal, at home with my dogs and my strong will to get on with my life. In 2017, I met the woman who is still here, who helped me regain myself. There is much I have left out on purpose, because no human being should have had to go through what I did in a 4 month period that I endured to get to where I met this woman. She has been by my side and helping to get back to me. 

I have met a few subs from on this site, the ones I have taken on. Have mostly come back or are available to me at my beck and call even years since use. So I must be doing something right. I do have the occasional one that has not returned. One in particular that was married and was having feelings that were not reciprocated, I do not cross that line. Especially not with a married individual while I do enjoy using a sub there is a very thin line I do not necessarily cross, I tend to get very close to that line with certain subs. I am extremely caring about each and every sub that I take on, it is the best way to build trust.  I prefer pleasure over pain, I myself have more pain daily than any sub I know can handle at any time. And I am not saying I enjoy this pain and discomfort, but it is something I have to endure and I do. I meditate at times to help keep my pain level at a minimum, but there are times that my pain threshold pushes itself to an unbelievable level.  I am extremely strong minded and strong willed, while I am not strong physically any longer my subs and friends have taken on that role for me.  I am the sort of person who would not ask for help for any reason, and it doesn't come naturally to me. I have found that asking for help does not make me seem weak, while I was taught that it did. I have had to adjust my way of thinking a bit, as my way of doing things the right way to someone else doing it their way, and having to do it over and over because they would not listen to the my quicker and right way of doing and not having to repeat it. And those individuals were not subs. Because subs do it my way. 

I have a female roommate that has been with me for almost 5 yrs now, she is at each meeting when I first meet a new potential submissive. While she is not technically living the lifestyle she will ask questions and what she doesn't understand she will inquire about further. She has given me advantage of being who I am with feeling a slight or any judgement. Each and every sub who has met her does so without fear of judgement. I am extremely open with her about any sub that I will be meeting. 

My career before I was injured was Med Tech  in a locked alzheimers unit. I loved my position, was something I looked forward to every day. When I was approached to move back to my home state to help deal with my own mother's failing mental status, it was a hard decision.She had a love hate relationship with me from a young age with me, she loved to hate me.  But I did come back as she had no one else that wanted to step into that position. And that is when I took a position that within 6 months time changed my whole life. 

Waiting on the oil truck to come, ran out about an hour ago. The driver is supposed to be up in this area, and the office was going to contact him to make sure he was able to get me. Thank goodness I was able to pay for it over the phone. 

I am starting to meet potentials in March, I am hoping to fill the live in position soon.  Would make my life a whole lot easier.  But have to pick the right candidate. 

Feels like I have another yanking my chain. And that is really not a wise choice. 

I am not the type of dominant who is going to jump on you before I get to know you. 

If that is what you want, then you are poking the wrong bear. 

I am extremely laid back until I don't need to be. But wasting my time is really not anyones

best choice. 

Hasn't been the best week but made it to the weekend thank goodness. Didn't get much rest last evening with the heavy rains, had me wondering if my basement would flood and take out the furnace, then the fierce winds. And I being such a light sleeper means no sleep for me. So hoping tonight I can get a full night. But having to take a med today to be able to drive my rig. Well I won't be able to crash right away. I just got my second wind, so I won't be ready to crash for a while. Will be shutting my phones off, and watch some movies and see if that helps. For the ones who wrote to me asking if I was alright. I am and thank you. 

We got hit with this last snow storm, I would say it's about a foot of snow in my driveway. My plowguy hasn't showed up and probably won't until this evening. My farmhands are going to park across the road, and walk over to do the farm animals. Couldn't ask for better people. I finally hired the right ones to care for my farm animals. Want to start training my pony in the spring so some one will be able to ride her this fall.. 

There is so much drama coming from an adopted family member right now it makes me ughly. I am not someone who handles drama well. I tend to pull away from people, so I don't jump down their throats for another persons actions. This person has become toxic to me, and I really am having trouble with that. She thinks she can use everyone including me, well she is about to get a very rude awakening. 

Knock on wood, this last blizzard missed us completely.  My stress level is sky high right now, and I really have no idea why I am stressing. I really do kind of know why but I am not writing it on here. I will probably take a nap and by that time it will be gone. With all the drama that was here this weekeend drove my dogs nuts and all they did was bark. I literally dispise drama makes heart hurt. 

I have a lot stressing me at the moment. Nothing to do with anything but life in general. So I have been staying clear of everyone for the time being.  When I am stressed the innocent tend to get my wrath.  I am not some one who likes a lot of drama, and it seems that it tends to come to me for comfort.  So right now for the next week I am just staying under the radar hoping most of this just passes me by. 

The humidity levels have been high and it sends my pain levels through the roof. Which in turn makes my tremors unbelievably debilitating. But I am still above the grass or in this state snow, and that is what counts to me. As for finding a live in sub to help make  my life easier and more enjoyable seems to not in my forseeable future, so not sure if I should just stop kidding myself.

My stalker has returned, and once again he has dropped his profile on here. I have had to drop a personal email address so not to hear from him.I show the emails to others so it is documented when I receive them. He is an abuser, and I AM NOT A VICTIM.He cruel and down mean and has no remorse for the things he says or calls. I block him every time he contacts me and when he has no opening he drops his profile.

I do not hide who I am, I am just me. I am a dominant bbw woman who is 66 yrs old. If you are from out of the country I am surely not interested. 

I have been a hopeless romantic most of my life. Being a hopeless romantic and dominant at the same time, can be challanging for the most part. When someone wants to get to know me, they look at the dominant part and don't see anything else. I have  made it this far in my life walking my own path, meaning I had subs many through out the years. And my subs only knew the dominant part of me that is all they wanted. And it left me empty. I haven't been empty my whole life, I have 2 sons, and they fill parts of my heart, and I have had a love that lasted years, it survived though long periods of not seeing each other, but then our chance meetings took us right back to moments that made my heart beat a little faster. That love lasted for over 40 years, he was not either of my sons father, he was just and I put that solidly as the love of my life so far. Now he is gone, and won't be back. I read his obituary so I know he is gone forever, the love is still their waiting to be given to another.