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Exploring what it is I desire from this type of relationship Not really sure where I fit in yet. I do enjoy the feeling of caring and tenderness of being a babygirl, though I do not identify with diapers or any of that. Somewhat of a masochist, but again...only to please a partner. Maybe Ds is a better designation? What makes sense to me is that if one does wrong, one is punished and learns and hopefully doesnt do the action again. Also, if a partner desires to give pain, then it is up to me to receive... but not to extremes. Consensual is a must, though there are times when it may seem otherwise. Does this make any sense? Maybe Domestic discipline is a better fit? So much to explore. Taking my time. I dont want to rush into anything.
Finding that play is not the answer. Anyone can swing a belt or paddle, but it does very little for me. The exchange of power is where the connection begins. It doesnt even need to be physical. Just a look, a word, a reminder... those are the most effectivetools in a Dominant mans arsenal.
How is it that I can crave spankings and rough play when I dont like it while its happening? Afterwards, though, I get a sense of peace like no other time. It seems like the more non-consensual spankings seem to bring about a cleansing of the soul, or maybe a purging of sins?
UPDATE Why is it that no one seems to think a bigger girl can serve? I have lived a full life but that life has added weight to my already large frame. I may not be small and delicate, but I still have the desires that a smaller and younger person does.
Surgery coming up soon. Tore my Achilles tendon and finally getting it fixed. Been struggling to walk for almost a year. Will be glad when it is over but March and April are gonna be awful.
Update - 3518 - Surgery went well... being well cared for by Mr. Big Daddy Bear.
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Being a spanko at heart, I am blissfully happy these days. Almost daily spankings warms my heart, as well as my bottom!
I am loved and learning to love in return. Nothing good ever comes easy, but this has been one of the best experiences of my life.
So glad I took the risk. |
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Owned by a poly couple. Moving 3000 miles away from home. So long East Coast. New adventure awaits.
More vanilla in appearance but definitely not so much behind closed doors. I am truly in service, and it is a surprisingly good fit, at this time. Feeling mentally connected and physically satisfied. For so long I've been playing at D/s but never truly submitting. I now know the difference. |
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3/13/18 - i find myself confused. Came across a profile looking for a domestic service oriented slave. Promised that disobedience would be punished severely. What I don't understand is why the slave would disobey in the first place if they have been trained for certain tasks? It seems counterproductive to the idea that a slave is meant to please her Master. Also, I would think masochistic slaves might apply and deliberately be disobedient, which would lead to frustration on the part of the Owners. Has it really come to this, nowadays? |
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3/12/18 - Finding out that I CAN embrace pain and if not become friendly with it, I can at least overcome it. It becomes just another accomplishment that I can be proud of. I am stronger for it. Of course, I'm talking of my post surgical pain, but it can be similar with any sort of pain. I am not going to sexualize this type of pain, as I could with nipple play or any sort of spanking, but I can overcome it despite many obstacles. Now if I could overcome boredom and inactivity... |
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3/8/18 - I have had 2 long term relationships in my life. The first one was 22 years with the man who owned and married me. Long before the internet, there were no set rules and regulations. Merely expectations and punishment for various behaviors. He was much older and looking back, I now realize he was a Daddy Dom, though we didn't call it that. When he was gone, I began a service oriented relationship with another man that lasted over 10 years until his passing, almost 4 years ago. Raised his son as my own and now that he is living his own life, I now seek what I miss. Too many these days don't wish to put any effort into training or even really getting to know another. It seems we now live in a throwaway world. What happened to talking and getting to know someone or even setting up structure and consequences? These days at the first sign of adversity, it's too easy for most to move on to the next on the long list of potentials. I don't claim to be perfect and I have moods like most. It will be the one who takes time to inspire and impress me with his consistency that gains a lifetime of love. |
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When I know I've done something naughty I sit with my bare bottom on my time out chair to think about it and to think about being a good girl. At least I have my Big Daddy Bear to help me sometimes. |
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2-12-18 - Mostly looking for online correspondence until after my foot heals. If You'd like to talk about guidance and explain a bit more about littles and Daddy Doms and those type of relationships, I would welcome any input. I should note that i do not drink, smoke, or take recreational drugs of any kind. Heck, I doubt I will take the painkillers more than one day after surgery, and then only cuz I have to travel. |
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| Age: 30 |
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Ohio |
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