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travelforfun
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|  There is a master in my life........It is amazing at 50 I was just figuring out who I was. The transition started around 2003 and has finally come to light. I like me, I love me and I have found a man that loves me for me. He makes me laugh, giggle and he knows how to communicate. He has passion and loves to show me affection. He allows me to be me therefore I have given him my; heart, mind, body and soul as I know that he will take care of the ownership of my person. I never in wildest dreams thought that I would ever call another "Master"............this is my gift to him and he has given me the slave name "blessing". I was starving for all of the above. I am whole, I am complete......I am Carla; If you truly want to know then ask. If you truly do not want to know then....don't ask. Simple, huh
If a woman reacts strongly against being described as submissive and delights in having a commanding presence but likes it when a man is a bit dominant with her is she dominant but, in denial? As Bill P. suggested..........submissive but in denial, or just plain confused? If she enjoys expressing all the different aspects of her personality and feels exuberant and free when with a man who appreciates all of her instead of wanting her to express only one bit of herself is she marvelously multidimensional or in need of psychiatric help? Those of us with an aversion to being (metaphorically as opposed to literally) pinned down think about these things the way others think about football or world hunger. In a comment in Taken in Hand, Scarlett wrote. In D/s there's almost a parallel "gender" created, the dominant and submissive. When I read that I was struck by the thought that the way I'd prefer to interact in a relationship would be more DD than D/s. Not "DD" as in "domestic discipline".....I do not fantasize about being subjected to infantilising disciplinary action but, "dominant/dominant". Preferring naturally dominant men, I have sometimes attempted to think of myself as being submissive but, that label just doesn't fit. Not at all not even remotely. For some women submission can feel liberating and exciting and they feel anything but diminished by it. That is marvelous! But when I read the wonderful writings of such women, no matter how beautiful the style and no matter what the content is, I just can't relate to it. And nor could I remain happy and vibrant with a man who wanted me to give him submission. Apparently I am not alone in this. Women that I have discussed this with have said that when a man likes only their soft, feminine side, or wants them always to dress that way, or tells them never to cut their long hair, or expects mindless obedience and a submissive attitude at all times, they find it be put off by it. Not only do those things feel like a push towards the stale boredom of stereotypical womanhood and a static, lifeless relationship, they feel like a push to eviscerate a valuable part of the woman's personality.........the dominant, effective, assertive, even masculine side. Dominant and strong I may be but the last thing I want is to dominate a man. Whilst I have the greatest respect for non dominant, submissive men, I am not drawn to them as men. I want a man even more dominant than I. A man who exerts control as a natural part of his personality. And whilst I am not at all the fighting sort, in the event that there are any conflicts, I want the man to win. I want the man to be in control but, not by requiring of me that I shut down half my personality and become unnaturally submissive and not by requiring that I diminish myself in any way. This is not about being in denial, it is about recognizing the reality and examining the implications. If you have a dominant, strong, masculine personality and you can't relate to the little girl idea attempting to see yourself as a submissive little girl is asking for trouble. To have a good relationship you have to relate to one another as the individuals you are not as the individuals you think you ought to be. A relationship requiring that you enact fixed stereotypical roles is bound to be handicapped and a handicap to your own individual growth. So if you think you may be falling into the mistake of damping down your dominant, masculine side, challenge your assumption that that is necessary or in any way desirable. It simply isn't true that if you want a dominant man, you have to be submissive. You can both be dominant! You may think that with two dominant personalities what you'd have is one almighty power struggle but that is not necessarily so. It depends. Do the dominant characteristics of each person arise out of weakness or out of strength? If the former there is bound to be a power struggle. If the latter, any struggles there may be are likely to be fun rather than destructive. If both individuals need to "win" to increase their self-esteem or protect their fragile ego, there may well be problems. But if they each appreciate and even encourage the dominant, masculine side of the other and they broadly feel in accord with one another about how to run their relationship (for example, at least one of them does not want to win), and they share a sense of fun in their interactions, they may well have a blast together. Recognizing that expressing your dominant, masculine side need not be a threat, and need not lead to fights but may lead to a deeper, more exciting, more fulfilling relationship is liberating. It frees you from the psychological tyranny of self-imposed pseudo-submission. It frees you to be fully yourself. It frees you to interact as the person you are. And contrary to what you might think if you are in certain sections of BDSM sub-culture, many naturally dominant men prefer naturally strong, dominant women, because if a woman is obviously strong the man can relax and not worry that his strength will overwhelm her, just as is the case in reverse. These liberating insights can free women from the thought that they are lacking in femininity or that they need to act or become more submissive. Once you feel free to embrace and express the dominant/masculine aspects of yourself you are no longer fighting a battle for control of your personality. And when you stop waging that war on yourself you are bound to lose the defensiveness that is inevitably associated with that sort of inner conflict. This can bring a deep and abiding sense of peace.Paradoxically, this peacefulness can give the woman a softness that seems exquisitely feminine. 
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 We have been together 2 years and 7 months now. I fall more and more in love |
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 It will be two years soon, that we came into each others life. |
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He has been gone for over a week and I miss him terribly, but I wll be flying to meet up with him Friday the 13th. I am longing to be held, kissed and stroked by him.......I love and adore him so. |
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I have turned 51 this past Monday and as a gift to me from Master James he took me out for the day up to Balck Canyon for some lunch and some wonderful peach pie as they are known for their pies, and then we did some poopin and snoopin in his CJ7 and that was so much fun. He then made a wonderful dinner for me that evening. We had a great time and it was an intimate birthday and one of the best that I have ever had. I love you Master!!! |
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This is something else that he emailed to me while away;
This next year will be a great year! Attitude is your friend, use it wisely, humility is a virtue, use it wisely and patience provides calmness to your soul. All of my love, Jim
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Sent to me by Master James on December 28th 2008 as we could not be together for the holidays as he had more pressing family matters;
I have been missing you so much and I think it is good to be apart to realize what we have.
It is important for you to know how much I respect you, how much I appreciate you and how much I love you!
I have been sick and not the best in spirits, but one thing keeps me pushing on and that is my thoughts of you.
You are my soul mate and my true love and I want you to know that!
I will always love and cherish you!
Keep your heart strong and your life focused!
Love, Jim
P.S. We have been together 1 1/2 years December 27th.
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This is something that I struggle with as I am such a strong and controlling woman and it is something that I will have to deal with the rest of my life, I am sure. Someone like me needed to find someone stronger then myself, like you. Someone that is able to stand up to me when I am wrong and tell me so, but in the same, respect me for who I am.
Many people assume that a slave must be submissive, but in fact they two, are completely different. I'm not at all submissive, but want to become a slave. A submissive is someone who enjoys being obedient, or to whom being obedient comes naturally. The reality is that it doesn't matter whether I enjoy obeying or not, the reality is that I just have to do it if I indeed want this type of lifestyle and relationship. And part of the thrill of it for me is when I have to overcome my nature in order to transform myself into something completely different under your stern, tender and loving influence trusting in you to do what is best for me. I will become what you want, but it will take time a patience on both parts and we will achieve this if indeed we both want it bad enough.
I think what I need to do is to embrace the power that I can have as a slave, rather than try to fight it or deny it. I do not like the term "power exchange" to describe a Master/slave relationship because it just doesn't work. I should have the power to know myself, and to know that I don't have to conform to anyone else's ideas as to what a slave should be, other than your ideas. I have to be able to have the strength to know myself, and then stand up to others as I do what needs to be done.
Instead of seeing these personality traits of mine as weaknesses, I am trying to look at them as strengths. It is precisely because I am a strong and decisive person that you chose me to begin with. Most Masters actually seek out powerful slaves, who can do what needs to be done without having to have every thought or every action dictated to them. One who can figure out for themselves what needs to be done and do it, and who can stand up to the difficulties they might encounter and yet keep their sense of individuality and ambition. And instead of fighting against myself, embrace who I am and use those strengths for my benefit to be the best that I can be.
So many times I hear that a slave is a reflection of her owner, and being that you are a strong and decisive individual who is fully capable of being in control of himself and others, why should I be any different? The key is not in relinquishing control or power, but in gaining control over myself and using that power to the benefit of another, you.
A slave is not an extreme submissive………..I am a different creature altogether, who has different drives and different motivations, and who responds to different kinds of treatment. The fact that I do submit at times does not make me anymore a submissive than the fact that I cook makes me a chef. I am not going to make myself miserable trying to be something I am not; instead I am going to discover who I am and what makes me tick.
I need to spend some time contemplating what it is that pulled me to this lifestyle, and what it is that compels me to become your slave. I need to find the individual who lives inside me, and realize that I don't have to conform to what anyone else thinks I should be. The only person I need to please is you, and sometimes being pleasing doesn't mean being obedient. Sometimes being pleasing is recognizing that I am a strong and powerful woman whose strengths lie in making the world a better place for someone else. I am going to take pride in my strength, instead of fighting it.
All of my love, Carla
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I can't tell you how many times a day I find myself touching my ring, it's a habit now. Whenever I am stressed I find that I am touching my ring. It comforts me and reminds me of my Master. And when I think about it, my ring is a lot like my Master. I love to feel it encircling my finger; it's strong and secure. I love to feel it wrapped around my finger, just as I love my Master’s arms wrapped around me. I never really thought about how similar they were until today, but the more I think about my ring the more I realize how deeply I am His. So for me, my ring is more than a symbol of my submission to my Master, it is a representation of my Master Himself. He is my strength, security, and my comfort. My Master is all these things and so much more. |
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Master James and I have been together almost 16 months come the 27th of this month. We make great life partners and working partners, I always allowing Jim to be in charge though he does consider my opinion. We are truly in love! |
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This is what my wonderful Master emailed to me;
I have a large hole in my heart when I am not with you…..
I feel for you when you are hurting………………..
I am happy when you are giggling and smiling……
You make my day when I hear your cheery voice in the morning!
I miss your smile! Your cute little giggle. Your playfulness…..
We beg to differ but it makes us both better people…….for each other…
You make me smile!
You make my day!
I am so very much in love with you!
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To my Master; I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each others dreams, we can be together all the time. |
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To all Masters and Doms please read my profile before contacting me.........it seems there are many of you who contact me w/o the reading of my profile which truly irritates me. I am owned and loved by Master James......PERIOD.  |
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I had the best 50th birthday ever February 23rd. Master James surprised me with a visit to Pagosa Springs/Wolf Creek CO and then over to Santa Fe NM. I absolutely love Colorado but would never go back to Santa Fe NM. A lot of money with no class. As they say; money does not breed class. None the less, he showed me the best time. Long drive and not enough time. |
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My Master has been the delight in my life, the fire in my heart and the love that I have never been able to secure until this time. I have never been in love with a man until I met Jim. He has shown me how to love myself and therefore how to love others. I am opening up for the first time in my life and he has been the inspiration. I love you Jim more then you will ever know. In my heart you are mine.
your blessing,
Carla |
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In two days we will be together 6 months and it gets better and better. You are my heart, you are my breath, you are my soul.
your blessing |
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I adore you Master James.
Love,
Your blessing |
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Master James and myself will be together 5 months December the 27th.........it could not be any better. Thank you Jim for a wonderful 5 months. Your blessing |
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It will be four months tomorrow that Jim and I have been together. It is amazing how it just gets better and better. He is so loving, kind, considerate and sweet. Last night he called me his Barbie. He has some very endearing names for me. We are like the melding of two souls........all the cogs mesh. |
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A Dom had contacted me about 6 weeks back and we just took it slow in the meeting but have since met and we are now focusing our attention on each other. He is a very kind, loving man and Dom and allows me to be the strong woman that I am with the heart of a sub/slave. He encourages my strength and independence but wants to take care of me as a woman/sub/slave. We are taking it slow as he is totally aware that I just came from a relationship of long duration and need the time to find myself which I had started to do about 5 years ago but now that the butterfly has her wings she is learning to fly.
He wants me to retain my Dom friends that can understand and respect their place in all of this. So on that note I would enjoy retaining our friendship.
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As most of you do not understand the meaning behind my profile I will share with you the summarization by a gentleman on Alt that laid it out cleanly and neatly for me and I am now sharing it with you;
Perhaps what you mean to say in your "essay" is simply that you are "everything that is feminine, demure, genteel, reserved, reverent, sensual, multi-orgasmic" and in need of the power felt when in the presence of a Masculine Male.........but you are NOT a "lifestyle submissive"? That I could understand. |
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If you do not understand the words I have posted in my profile you will not understand me |
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This is for you Sandman and these words came from the tips of your fingers..........I am not seeking "pseudo-doms”, and those lacking self-control or mutual respect. |
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When writing ones journal entries or composing ones profile please copy/paste and use spell check. It is so easy and makes one look half way intelligent. |
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| Age: 29 |
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Florida |
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