What will it be like to have my female body?
What will it be like? What will it be like to have the body that I have always imagined that I should have. How will it feel to know that I no longer have a flat chest or a penis? I wonder that everyday now. It consumes me in everything thing I do. After years of being told to “be a man” and hiding because I shouldn’t "rock the boat" or be any different than anyone else I get to be unique. I get to be me.
I close my eyes and I imagine what I will look like. I’m laying there in heels, stocking and garters. My full breasts rise from chest and are covered in a lacy bra. I have cleavage for the first time in my life. I have on a matching pair of panties on and there is no lump were my penis is tucked. I now have the vagina that I have always wanted. I feel sexy and desirable. I run my fingers over my body and touch every inch from my toes to the top of my head. I feel my soft skin and how the fabric hugs my curves. There are no “forms” or tucking. This is all me and I smile. It all fits. It’s me.
One day I will have a partner that will want to make love to me and I can’t wait. Laying there under him, feeling his chest and arms as he reaches out and lays a hand around my neck and squeezes gently. I strain a little to breathe and don’t take my eyes off of him. He releases his grip and slides down to take a nipple in his mouth. I gasp and he cups my breast and then moves to the other and licks and now nibbles at my nipple. My hips raise up and I get excited. He kisses his way down my tummy to my bare pussy. I feel him reach up and part my lips and his tongue darts at my ciit and I am moaning. I feel myself getting wet as he continues to lap at my sex. I’m wiggling and trembling now. I want him inside me. I’ve never had a man inside my pussy and I want this man. I grind against him and he suddenly raises up and moves up my chest. He grabs both my wrists and holds them above my head. His hips slide up in between my legs and I open up to him. His penis is sitting outside of my pussy and I please to him with my eyes. I want him inside. He knows he’s the first so he very slowly begins to slide forward. I gasp and feel a twinge of pain. He pulls back and lets me adjust and rest. When my eyes say that I am ready he moves forward again. This time a little further, each time a little deeper. Suddenly he is all the way and pauses. I flex my pussy around his cock and he moans. I look him in the eyes and say “Fuck me please”.
He slowly pulls out and then slides back in and my eyes roll back in my head. Each time he adds a stroke I feel wetter and my turned on. I wrap my legs around him and pull him in harder on the down stroke. I’m moaning now and writhing around on the bed. It’s not what I thought it would feel like at all. I can’t even remember what it felt like as a man. It’s no matter because right now I am experiencing the real thing. I know I probably won’t cum this first time but I want him to enjoy it. I tighten around him and look him in the eyes and encourage him to continue on. I find it hard to talk during sex but I finally manage to push the words out of my mouth. “Cum. Cum for me. Cum inside of me”. It wasn’t long after that and felt him squirt into my pussy and then collapse on top of me.
As we lay there snuggling and caressing each other I know that it has come full circle. I am who I am supposed to be. I have experienced something that I never thought possible. It was amazing and wanted more for sure. But then I thought “I wonder what it will feel like being fucked by a woman and strap on”. Smile
All of this is possible because I follow my heart. I stopped listening to what other people said and what their fears were. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and I promised myself to experience life and to embrace what came my way if my heart and my gut agreed. I spent my entire life up till a year and half ago listening to other people, being judged by other people and being manipulated by other people. I let fear of the unknown cloud my mind and kill my heart. I have learned now that I am responsible for my self and my own happiness. I am kinky because I can explore my dark side too. I can do the taboo and open my heart to experiences that I could not any where else. It’s this will that has driven me and it’s that will that will keep me going. There is only one person that gets to decide what makes me happy and that’s me. I am the woman I am because I am true to me. |