And that woman I met that I mentioned earlier is cool but that's starting to look like it'll be a very vanilla relationship as more and more time goes by. Still need to tell her the truth about my heart though so, we'll see.

I still think she'll be a good friend though.

What am I looking for? My profile pretty much sum's that up but it does seem to be evolving a little bit at a time as I discover more and more about myself.?

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I want a WOMAN first and?foremost, I want to find a woman to be my special woman for life if you will. I would love her to be into a lot of the things I'm in to for commonality of interests but also my best friend, my lover, my Wife (eventually), and my partner in life (for goals and direction). I know that's actually asking a lot of one individual but I learned the hard way about settling from my last marriage. Now don't get me wrong, I can feel the possibility of a LTR from just meeting. I am?spontaneous?but I want her to be willing to actually be just as willing as I am to put in the effort to making it work with me and my faults. I'm stubborn, hard?headed, a dreamer, driven, and sometimes I even get depressed (but that doesn't happen often).?

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But the biggest draw back is that I know in my heart that I'm no longer?solely?vanilla if you will also. I have kinks and fetish's that I can not deny and I refuse to deny because I know they will?eventually?damage any relationship I get involved in where they are not?acknowledged?and accepted?completely. Hence why I'm here on CM. I have a flickr profile and a profile on Tryatranny.com as well but here is where I feel most comfortable.

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As for what those kinks and interests are, well here goes; I love women and?transsexuals, I love women more for a LTR but I'm not against it with a?transsexual?either but I do want an woman first and?foremost?as I see that relationship as being the best for me in the long run right now for family. I want to grow?myself?but I want a woman that's looking to grow as well, not one that thinks she is good to go. And I mean that from the heart, she has to know that as a part of her core?personality?of who she is inside. I have a big thing sexually and non sexually with women in high heels, I don't want to wear them but Damn! I love seeing her in them all the time. I am reasonable in understanding that this is not always possible because many women find them uncomfortable for extended wear. I am a dominant type male, I want to hear what you think because as my woman your opinion is very important to me but at the end of the day you have to understand that I WILL make the?decision, but sometimes I want to see you make the decision on your own too. Because I have to know that you not only have a brain but I can trust you to step up when necessary. That's a big thing for me because I have goals and dreams that I haven't realized yet and I fully plan to before I retire. I must be able to depend on her to filling the gaps. I also want her to be educated, if not then want to get educated because (an yes I believe this totally) a mind is a terrible thing to waste, and I see to many doing that in the world today. Size to a point is not a problem, when it's a health risk then something needs to be done. Don't complain, I am more than willing to help physically, mentally, and emotionally. No I am not in the best of physical shape but I'm working on that to get back to my Navy shap. Also not a side dig at you personally just how I feel about the subject, I actually do love BBW women too. I just want you to be healthy to survive as long as possible with me at my side at the end of the day. I want her to be comfortable in her body now and in the future no matter what she looks like. I don't have time for self defeating drama.?

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I don't believe in excuses, I try hard everyday not to have any. Because it's to easy in life to make them and then easier to live within and by them to hold yourself back. I don't do Poop, Kiddy porn, women under 28 are not my style, blood, needles, knives (they are weapons not toys), fire (that's a tool or a weapon), extreme pain (don't understand people that need to be?subjugated?to that), public humiliation (minor?humiliation?for play privately I will do), NO I am not going to come kidnap you to make you mine when I don't know who you really are because your fantasy is to have a man find you and track you down and

Kidnap

Rape

These are some words I shared with a good sub looking for her Master in life, she was feeling down a bit at the time about her search. I thought I'd share them here to help other sub's keep their heads up and stay the course in their search as well. 

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Don't let the scrubs and wannabe's get you down. Their are many pretenders not only here but in the world today. Many times I think we're becoming soft as a people, that may be why I don't have 6000 friends. Any man who has to resort to degrading you because he's upset you wont play his game is definitely not worth your time as a Master and could have never satisfied or taken care of you as a Master should.  That's one of those times when your better off without. There are good men out there and there are good Masters out there as well.

Beyond the one night stand thing now, I've heard enough to make a decision that I'm not interested in such beyond any sub willing to assist me in improving my general physical skills with bring about orgasm. 

Outside of that all conversation should be about the lifestyle, saftey concerns when roping or taping an individual up. Still looking in to other interests within the lifestyle as well, I've also discovered that I can do the spanking and caine but I do not desire to inflict great damage to your body. I view my sub as precious and just can't see that as good personally. Have to see more where this really goes.

The more I find out the more a one night stand scenario is out of the question. This involves commitment to be real as well as towards longevity of a relationship. Maybe I can find some more videos for training.

Thanks for the insight SweetiePieSub.

I've watched several video's an still find myself aroused watching women sensually spanked, teased, tied up, even the nipple play appeals to me. I can see the pain is tolerable for them but the pleasure they derive is intense. I want to make my woman have screaming orgasms too. But, at the same time I don't really want to stop at the bedroom either.

But, I can't fathom how these actions and beliefs can be taken lightly. I clearly see the level of trust and respect involved. Is it possible to do this life with one night stands, I have serious doubts about that. So how do I hone my skills to become a good Master?