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MistresssAria
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when words caress so powerfully that you can only imagine his powerful
touch, grabbing you pulling you in, only to push you away again at the
last second, his words lash and cut, heal and sooth, only to lash yet
again
with every syllable, you feel his hands working their powerful
magic, going as though guided by your desires to exactly the right
spot, with exactly the right force building the anticipation until you
realize that it is just his voice, and the hands are yours
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It’s funny how things go in waves. Nudist night now has a group of people that must have all OD’ed on heroine to die. I really want to line them up and play xylophone on their ribs..
Our regulars are wonderful. They welcome just about anybody. I know I have said this before, but one of the cool things about hell is you look like you pictured yourself when you were alive. Anorexic supermodels now weigh 300lbs (fortunately they stay home for most of these nights).
Tonight we have several games lined up. We set up a sushi bar on whoever’s name gets drawn. Then we are doing a slave auction. Both are rigged (don’t judge me, I’m in hell for a reason).
He music is lower than normal tonight so that people can chit chat.
Being behind the bar, it is weird how conversations mld together. Listening to the intetrtwinings of about 3 different conversations now.
In one, where I think they are talking about their previous lives, “at times it was all just instinct. I would just react and hope I was right.”
A few chairs down, another conversation seemed o have a reply, though they were talking about people they had met since dying, “Yah I just turned around and there she was.”
Almost on queue, the conversation fades. Electricity fills the air. Before looking, I pour a cinnamon martini and walk to the edge of the bar. Where, even naked, her presence commands the respect of every eye in the room. Handing her her drink as the breath pours out of me, she smirks and says, “Thanks david. Good to see you again.”
Stunned that she would be here, on this night, struggle to gain composure as I reply, “The pleasure is all mine.”
“Fucking cheesey,” I think to myself, “come on David.”
“Watch the Bar!” I holler to B as I step around the bar to attempt to learn more about this lady, this presence.
“Three times in one week…”
“So far,” she interrupts.
I smile, of course. She perceived my lack of come back and just leaned in and kissed me.
I think I forgot what blushing felt like, but the warmth in my cheeks and the impending giggle made me feel like a 17 year old human again.
She giggled first. Contagious. For some reason, I am one of those that cannot contain giggling once others have started, so we laughed. No other sound in the bar except us. All my questions about who she is, how she knows me, and how she carries herself melted with each chuckle.
My lips draw to hers as I lean in, put my hand in the back of her hair, give it a slight tug, and kiss her. Her moan lets me know that I read her right. So entwined in the kiss, and lost in her eyes (dammit I love it when a girl will look in your eyes while kissing you), barely notice that she has one hand tracing the moon tattoo on my chest while the other is caressing its way lower.
Lost in her eyes, my own hands decide they have waited on my mind long enough and begin exploring her back. They split directions as one goes back to mingle with her hair and the other maps out the contours of her lower back and ass.
Some thought of the bar and the customers flies over my head, but my mind refuses to reach out and grab hold of it.
She whispers my name, “david.” Whispers is an overstatement. She mouths my name on my ear and my body shudders.
“Yes.” I whisper back and she just smiles, grabs my hand and pulls me to a booth. Not a booth in some corner, but, just the closest booth he could see.
She is still in control, but somehow makes me feel that I am taking the lead. The strangest feeling of comfort and freedom.
“I watched you the other night,” she whispers as she sits on the corner of the booth.
“The other night?”
“Yes. With Denise.”
“Oh,” I reply. Her reply was muffled by her full mouth and I forget what we were talking about. Locked in her eyes, all I can think is, “this is how it always has been.” I struggle to close my eyes and give into pleasure, but my eyes refuse to leave her gaze.
Grasping her shoulders, I pull her up to me, kiss her, and gently lay her down on the booth. I pull the table out into the room and kneel down beside her to kiss her. My fingers are tracing lines between the goose bumps all over her body as I begin kissing my way down. As I cross her belly, her back arches and she lifts her head then locks me in her stare again.
Every quake of her body throws me deeper and deeper into trance. The intertwined moans and grunts, calling like a beacon leading me to safety. For a second, the sounds stop, time stops and her body tenses. Then her cry cuts through me and for a brief moment I am aware of the rhythm of the music and the noise of the bar. Her eyes open, and I am lost again as I draw up to her, kiss her again and join her.
The music breaks in as the bass melds us into one body, one soul, one rhythm…
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bar/fiction
It feels good to be back home again. That familiar smell of sulfur from
the lake, Clorox sprayed in the bathrooms, stale cigarettes, and
spilled beer brings a strange sense of comfort.
B is helping me out tonight while sh has the some remodeling done to the barge. Feel like old times with her behind the bar.
Should
be an interesting evening. Some of he regulars are visiting us over
ehre for the first time. I wonder if she warned them ho risqué this
place gets. Guess we will find out soon.
HE and I sit in the office
as I recount my visit to the barge for HIM. For some reason most of my
memory of that night revolves around that lady. Her presence was like
no lady I had ever met. I never got her name that night, but I’m
confident we will meet again soon.
Things are already getting
interesting. Diane and Marie have started their competition. Recently
they decided to see which of them could get more guys to buy them
drinks. Tonight, however, they seem to have added a twist. I might have
to go out of the office and watch this. They are hitting on women.
Their skills are honed and by the time I make it to the bar, each of
them have three women around them in what looks like some form of
“Survivor: nightclub edition.” Each girl is competing for the attention
of their prospective conquest.
Before the heads even turn, I feel her. She walks into my bar with the same air that carried her onto the barge.
Whatever
game Diane and Marie were playing is now over. Every eye in the place
is desperately trying to find something to glance at so as to not get
caught staring.
B hands me a cinnamon martini and nods at her. The
hint is not wasted on me. Drink in hand, I push my way through the
crowd to where she stands, talking to her long lost strangers about
matters you could never guess bored her.
“I believe this is yours,” I said as I handed her her drink.
“Thank you, David,” she replied, though we had never been introduced.
“Nice,” I answered, “and you are?”
“Rach,” she said in a way that mad me feel I had known her for years.
Curiosity as killing me; I had to know more about her, but not yet.
“I will let you get back to your friends. Talk to you soon.” I said as I forced myself away.
I
couldn’t make out her reply as I walked away, but I cold feel her eyes
on me. Hell I could feel every eye in the bar on me as I stepped behind
the bar.
The bar is busy now, so I give B a hand with a few orders.
The electricity is flowing. It is definitely going to b one of those
nights that make me love this place so much.
The dark corners are conducive to drawing out the bohemian in even the most straight laced.
Diane
and Marie have now ditched their entourage, having gotten more than
enough free drinks, and are making out with this Trent Reznor look
alike. Diane wastes no time slipping her hands down his pants as Marie
caresses his chest. He feigns embarrassment, to who’s benefit, I have
no clue.
B has even gotten back into the spirit, removing her top to
reveal her stomach laced corset piercings. The wounds are fresh and the
droplets of blood under each piercing merely glimmer off the black lace.
“Man
I hope I remembered to turn on the cameras,” I think to myself as I
realize that this may be too much even for a voyeur such as I to take
in all at once.
From behind the bar it appears that Diane has
disappeared, but I can tell from the smile on Trent and Marie’s faces
that he hasn’t gone far.
I grab a shot of patron as my heart pounds with all of the excitement my customers now enjoy.
As
I put my empty shot glass in the sink, I notice a pair of panties on
the corner of the bar. Denise is here somewhere. I spot her husband
first. I follow his gaze, expecting to see her at their usual game, but
his eye are locked with Marie’s and the veiled smile on her face lets
me know where Diane is focusing her attention at the moment.
These nights never cease to hold new surprises, even for me.
A
hand reaches over my shoulder and down my shirt as another reaches
around and unbuckles my belt. I don’t have to turn around. I found
Denise, or she found me.
I look up at one of my cameras and smile…
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joy, happiness, pleasure and gratification
The next diatribe.
and
for those who wonder if these are geared at specific topics or
events... no. They spun out of me looking at my life and sometime
specific events got me to question how i would act in different
situations and why, but I am not targeting anybody with any of these...
except myself and who I want to be. In my exploration of whom and what
I am lately, I have discovered a few things about myself. I can feel
pain, I can make bad decisions, I can blame others for my decisions,
and many other negatives. I have also discovered many positives. The
challenge of this series of writings, to me, is to make myself the
person I want to be.
joy, happiness, pleasure and gratification
(please don’t get me wrong instant gratification is fun I like it too).
Out
of the last ramble, I was looking at how we are prone to confuse
happiness with gratification. What i want now out weighs what I can
have later even if what I get later is better.
A hypothetical
example.: rolling simulates euphoria, happiness and contentment. These
are also things that we can work for and achieve. We see something
pretty, a new car, a new toy, a new sex partner and we don’t think
about what the trade offs are. We get a toothache and rub ora-gel on it
until it rots out because the pain was gone but we didn’t treat the
problem (yes i have done that recently).
Shrinks would blame the
advertising and internet for these things. Where we can get or see
whatever we want, our way. I am not here to really worry about why I/we
behave that way; I want to look at what the differences are and leave
each of us to decide what we want.
So far i have looked at honor,
Love, and loyalty. The reason this next group is together is because I
think these are results or casualties of those 1st 3 topics:
So lets start with gratification:
A
need where something is immediately needed or desired is filled. "I’m
thirsty, hungry, horny etc." I get the thing that was missing, or
wanted and i am gratified. This may or may not lead to pleasure.
Pleasure, in the aforementioned examples would come from getting the
thing that gratified or fulfilled your/our was enjoyable. (i.e. I’m
thirsty and got a nice cold Guinness). It was enjoyable/pleasurable,
but may not lead to happiness. a pleasure is something that is
enjoyable at the moment it is being done but doesn’t necessarily
translate into a mood. A few beers or drinks may lead to happiness
though because i may get a buzz and my mood can be elevated from doing
something that is enjoyable to feeling happy..
This is where the
line gets harder to cross. Happiness is a mood, not a state of being.
It is hard to cross from a mood to a state of being. Drinking more beer
or the same amount of beer more often will not elevate me to joy. It
may prolong my happiness, or it may destroy me, but it will not bring
me to joy.
At this point, before I go into my sermon on what I
have come to believe joy is to me, I would lie to interject that this
is the one I really want feedback on. What yall think joy is, how you
achieve it, have you achieved it etc
To
me, joy is a state of mind that is independent of my current mood. I
can be happy, sad, angry, etc but still have joy. Joy comes from
knowing who I am, what is important to me and who I want to be. Joy
comes from knowing that I am working towards being the best person can.
Not from accepting all my faults, but from examining them all and
deciding which ones I need to accept and which ones I need to change.
Some faults, I may like, and they may bring me happiness, but they may hinder my joy.
The
shortest definition I can think of off hand is joy is being happy with
the path that my Self is on. Or one could put it, “Do I truly like who
I am striving to be and am I really making ground towards being that
person?”
Obviously there is a lot more that I cold write on joy…
entire libraries are built on that one topic, but this will suffice as
my simple definition that I hope guides me.
So in summary,
Gratification is fulfillment of a need
Pleasure is enjoying that fulfillment
Happiness is a mood
Joy is a state of mind/being
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several people replied, so ere is my little diatribe:
Loyalty in friendship
first
and foremost means that you are actually friends. this means that you
know the person. The reason this is important is because somethings
that would offend or betray certain friends would not offend others in
the slightest.
But basically it comes down to one real thing, doing
the best you can to not do something for selfish gain that you know
would cause any kind of pain to the other person.
what loyalty is not is blind. IMHO, a truly loyal friend will sometimes piss their friend off by being honest
honor,
loyalty, love and I think most good traits that humans have the
potential to possess revolved at elast in part around "do no harm...."
It
is easy, especially in our lifestyle of "have it our way..." to just
take instant gratification for ourselves, and for our loved ones.
Sometimes there is nothing wrong with that, but sometimes appeasing our
appetites at the expenses of others, or helping our loved ones appease
their appetites to their own demise is truly the antithesis of love,
honor or loyalty.
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I have heard 3 o 4 people lately say that they believe that true love
is simply wanting to see the other person happy. This got me thinking
and I would like some opinions on this statement.
Before reading
this, no this does not have to do with my feelings for my ex or her
situation. this is a self evaluation of what I want out of life in the
future.
here is mine so far (this is flud and still evolving).
Happiness
is or can be fleeting adn things that make us happy at the moment may
not be what makes us happy in the long run. I think that I believe, so
far, that love is sometimes being willing to se the or even make the
person you love temporarily unhappy. Think of a father spanking their
child or letting the child touch the hot stove. That is parental love
but i beleive the same can be true in relationship love. Where you know
the person well enough to know that the temprary happiness your lover
will gain from what they are about to do will make them more miserable
in the long run. That doesnt mean that you lay down the law and stop
them, but you do, if you love them, express your concern.
Letting
somebody do whatever they ant may appear to be love, but not sharing
your concerns, to me, seems cowardly, not loving. That sounds harsh I
know, and i dont mean it harsh.
The context i have heard this in
lately from several people is "I would rather see them (their lover)
happy with somebody else, than unhappy, or even content with me."
This
is where the quote at the bottom of this page comes into play to me.
Love is not just a feeling. As things get rough and you go through
"sinking ship" syndrome together, love builds; as you go through great
times, love builds; as you go through boring times, love builds. It is
all of this journey that makes for love, IMHO, not just a season, a
feeling or a goose bump.
So after thinking about these statements,
I respectfully disagree with people who think that if you really love
somebody you want them to be happy with somebody else, unless that
happiness is what I described above.
As promised, here is the quote that describes love bettter than anythign i have ever read ebfroe except maybe 1 Corinthians 13
From Captain Corelli's Mandolin:
Iannis:
"When
you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an
earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to
make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so
entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not
excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is
not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of
your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is
just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love
itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away.
Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!
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I consider one of the great things my dad taught me was honor. Honor
has nothing to do with doing what is right when that is what you wanted
to do anyways. It takes honor to do the right thing even when what you
want is against what you know is right.
Honor makes you step forward
when you have done wrong and admit it. Honor forbids you from making
excuses for your behavior, rather dictates that you change when you are
wrong.
I think this is where my concept of sacrifice comes from.
that when a choice between my pleasure and somebody else's needs is at
stake, honor comes to play. that is when the choice of do I just go for
the instant fun I want now, or do I remember what my dad taught me?
Don't
get me wrong there have been plenty of times i have messed that up,
that I gave into what i wanted right then withuot thinking of the cost
to others, but I believe that each one of those has hit me so hard that
it ingrains that lesson even deeper into my being.
This is not a reflection on anything I have been through lately, other than self examination.
This is a big part of who I hop I am, and the little bit of this that does shine in me, I thank my parents for.
Im not a big bible thumper.. anymore, actually not really big on it at all anymore, but to me
Honor, imho, is one of the key components of love
"
1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love,
I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift
of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I
have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the
flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient,
love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It
is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps
no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with
the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always
perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies,
they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where
there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we
prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect
disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like
a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish
ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then
we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully,
even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
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the raid part deux
the raid pt deux. WARNING: fairly explicit
A male cop enters the scene and grabs her from the other officers by
the hair. One of the lady cops removes her handcuffs, then the rest of
her blouse.
A
slight moan escapes from her lips as the controlling officer tugs on
her hair. She arches her back and tries to kiss him but her turns away.
I
have yet to see the face of the male officer, but by now I am quite
sure it is the young man that she picked up in the bar the other night.
I wonder where her husband is watching all this from. A quick scan of
all the camera catches him in the full black attire of a S.W.A.T of
A.T.F officer. “Ha! I knew he couldn’t be far,” I say out loud. The
devil just looks at me like I’m nuts and continues staring at the scene
unfolding before us.
The other female officer re-enters the scene
with some kind of a stick in her hand. As she pokes our friend in the
back I can see the electricity come off the end of the cattle prod with
every anamilistic grunt she releases.
While the male pulls her hair,
the first female places a full hood over our subjects head. The male
then releases her hair and starts caressing her in a strangely gentle
way. Her husband is now standing right next to him with a flogger in
his hands. Just as she begins to sigh to his petting a crack splits the
air and trickles of fresh blood dot her back.
Her knees buckle and he smiles, grabs her hair and pulls her to her feet.
The
officer then begins playing with her hair and kissing her. She is
fumbling with her free hands trying to lower her pants, but the female
officer catches this and reapplies the handcuffs. “We will have none of
that,” I hear her say.
Moans are the only replies.
“And I AM supposed to be evil?” the devil whines.
It only takes me a second to forget abut his presence again and fall back into the scene playing itself out on my monitor.
I did miss another whack from the leather apparently because there are fresh marks on her back.
Her
whole body is now shaking. The female officer comes over, now
completely naked, lifts her mask just above her mouth to give her a
drink of water. Half of the glass of water gulps away instantly as
dribbles from the over pour run down her chin and splash on her breast.
As she pulls the glass away, she reaches in kisses her for a few
seconds, unbuttons her pants and pulls the mask back over her mouth.
The
police uniform pants are way too bug for her and they fall to the
ground as soon as they are unbuttoned. She is wearing a tiny thong that
is barely visable from the back. Before the pants can even strike the
ground another loud crack fills the air as the flogger spreads itself
out across her ass.
The younger officer massages the wound with a
gentle touch before the moan can escape her mouth. He begins to nibble
on the nape of her neck right below the mask as his hand forms silky
circles over the fresh marks on each cheek. Her husband leans in and
begins to kiss the other side of her neck as his hands disappear
someplace in front of her. Her moans are muffled by the mask, but I
could swear I hear her saying, “please.”
As if in response to her
pleas both female officers come in and start kissing her chest, legs,
and every place else a tongue dares to explore.
From this point I am
going to have to leave you to your own imaginations because it all
became a blur. I will say, however, that this couple have tought me
that I have, in fact, not seen everything.
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PS this is fantasy for a friend
Disclaimer if any of
this makes you uncomfortable.. it is all fiction tell me to stop. This is just
flirting/role playing. I have actually played a scene like this out but it was
fully consentual.
You try to look back
to see me, but my other hand is on your throat holding your head fast. The
pressure of my thumb, the bruise it is leaving, shouldn’t feel good, you don’t
want ti to feel good, but it does. You heart pounds and you can feel my breath
on your neck as your goose bumps fight to not give into the
excitement.
You feel my hand move
from your throat to your hair with a slight tug. The anticipation is there. You
know I am going to pull, but I dont. I just firmly stroke it as reach my face
around, lift my mask and kiss you. At first you try to bite my tongue, but you
can tell from the tightening on your hair that would get you no where. The
twinge of guilt rises as you kiss me back.
You let out a little whimper as I
pull my mouth away from your lips and bite your neck ever so slightly, just
enough to let you know I could.
STING! This time it was harder. You back
actually arched as you feel the very imprints of my fingertips right where your
ass meets your thigh.
My hand leaves your
hair and forcefully strokes up from your belly, between your breasts and back to
your throat; wrapping around side to side on your neck, you can feel the choke
coming, but my hand recedes back down placing pressure all the way down past
your breasts, past your stomach, between your legs right past your pussy and
onto your thigh when you squeak a little as I give a squeeze and press
down.
you hear my voice, or you hear it in your head, you cant be sure any
more, "let go."
Interested in
more?
PS re iterating
disclaimer. Consensual role play is fun. I do not ever confuse the 2. there was
always a safe word.
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Wow what a week. I never would have thought this
possible, but we got raided. In hell! WTF were they looking for, I
still don’t know. I mean this is hell already; it isn’t like we can
really break any rules is it? The funniest thing was that the devil was
here when we got raided. These morons didn’t even recognize him. He
also didn’t say anything. He goes outside with the rest of the patrons
and sits around bitching about how life isn’t fair even after life is
over.
Ok well after about an hour of harassment, life returns to normal and all the patrons come back inside.
After
making sure the customers are all happy and working on forgetting about
the “cops,” I grab a bottle of Patron and head for the office. When I
get close to the office I hear the damn squeaky chair that keep meaning
to replace. Oh well it is hell and I guess being dead means nothing to
worry about so I go on in.
My old friend, the devil, (btw I wonder why he never said his name) is ruffling around with the cameras and the DVR.
“Need help?”
“See
I get blamed for these damn things too. Don’t you think if I had made
these crappy things I would at least give myself a simple way to use
them?”
Ignoring the usual rant, I head over to the DVR and slide
past the confused devil to pull up footage of the events that just
transpired.
“Yah I was wondering what all that was about too. Why did you just keep quiet and not say who you are?”
“Was bored, hoped it would prove interesting.”
“Touché.”
“Did those cops seem familiar to you?”
“Didn’t give it much thought. Was to confused by the idea of cops in hell in the first place.”
Finally
finding the spot on the control that had all the cameras recording as
the “cops” entered the place, I do notice something familiar about the
lady cop.
“Isn’t that…”
“Yep,” the devil interrupts, “That is your little exhibitionist chick.”
“Well I’m not sure that is what I would call her to her face, but wow I’m glad I had these cameras.”
“Yah, don’t know how we worked around here without them so long.”
On
the recording, the last of the employees are being escorted out of the
bar and I am pulled away to a corner to be questioned.
“How long have you been running this establishment?”
Squiggley
lines fill the monitors as I fast forward the scene in the other rooms.
Through the dancing squiggley lines you can make out a couple of the
“officers” setting up cameras in various positions around the main
room.
“damn,” I think out loud, “this is ballsy as hell.”
“yep, I like it.”
“Never said I didn’t like it.”
The
lines stop dancing and disappear into full pictures on all the monitors
as the fast forward is stopped. I pull the main room up to the large
center monitor in time to catch our little friend, still half in her
uniform, handcuffed and being escorted in by to other petite female
cops.
To be continued…
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| Age: 45 |
| BIÑAN,
Philippines |
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