I'm sorry for not replying to so many emails. I've sort of been at a lose for a while. I did however wish to post something she wrote to me which may caste some light on her side of the equation.  I'm going to paste it directly with no paragraph breaks (sorry) and with one further note: I was great at the asshole licking and did manage to make her cum with my mouth and fingers once but failed on all of the other requests for some reason. Guess I'm best off focusing on my rimming skills and hope for the best.

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Get in here and start licking my asshole until I tell you to stop. When I do you will then bring your mouth immediately to my tits and neck and you work them like the dirty whore you are. You can expect that slutty little mouth and hands of yours to be VERY busy today and you will bring your A game NO exceptions.
Our sex life always revolves around YOU and what YOU want and what gets YOU off which is fine but it is MY turn,  which considering my 6 months of patience and understanding is a MORE than reasonable demand....request :D which means my love that AFTER you lave greedily licked my asshole until I say stopat which point you have turned your attention to my tits sucking them biting them.. dont skimp on doing the same to my neck as well, once you have done this, with GUSTO, not stopping until I BEG you to take my pussy..AFTER you have done all that, you are going to WORSHIP my fucking pink little slit while I ignore you smoke and watch porn. And I do mean worship darling. I deserve it and you know it so until further notice your mouth and hands first priority is giving extreme PLEASURE to my mouth asshole tits and anywhere else I see fit. Dont worry. You know I am a reasonable bitch you will certainly have time to rest however you WILL be making me cum and cum I am going to ride you goddamn face plenty and you will enthusiastically comply. My fucking cunt is THROBBING right now and soaking wet and you are going to make it cum HARD. Then you can return to your work. Of course you dont get away that easily later once my little neglected clitty starts to swell and throb again your service will be required again. We are going to make a trip to the sex store up the street where I got the big blue (p.s. If I have not begged to be fucked with that and taken it at some point over the course of the day you have failed at your job my sweet baby please keep  that in mind)anyway we are going to take a trip to that little store and shop for devices for ME that you will use on me and make a slut out of me. Maybe thay will have a pussy pump..? I did shave my sweet cunt some yesterday. Later I want you to spread my lips and ass WIDE lather them up and finish up the shaving so my pink puckered little hole and my now tight fuck hole are smooth and gorgeous in the event I decide to use it to do something horrible with it with someone else while you watch feeling jealous and awful while you stare and stroke your hard fucking cock you freak. I am considering such a scenerio but on my terms and I get to pick the circumstances YOU just get to watch jerk off and bring me things to drink and so forth. Of course after someone else has destroyed my pussy you will get to clean it up after..with your tongue naturally. Maybe I will get some freaky slutty little ho over here or some hot dyke I have been in the mood to be smothered  with a juicy pussy and having to lick and suck like mad just to be able to breath. hmmmm I love you baby and while I am ging to have to enslave you to my baby fuck socket for a while i will still be sweet and hopefully appreciative ..if you do it right. so by the time you have finished reading this  will be on the couch with my ass in the air cheeks spread, waiting for your tongue Love you

Somewhere back in my childhood I learned that sucking cock was about the most shameful thing a man could do. A cock if you think about it...goal oriented thrusting aiming their payload in the most impracticable places. That's the boogie man right there.  

It's funny but I remember sitting in a shower room looking surreptitiously at the first cock ring I had ever seen. About that time the hairy, pot bellied, old gentleman casually explained what it was etc.

I actually felt pretty brave. I felt like a man taking the whole shyness in the shower decree and replaced it with a world where men could look at each others cocks in the shower, at least when they were explaining what sort of gadgits are attached to them etc.

It looked really fat and old. His balls too. I wondered what it would look like excited. I wondered what would make it that way.

I had a moment staring at my greatest fear, another man's cock. And suddenly a feeling seized me. Panic!

It was like coming out of a daydream/nightmare like in class. Your brain just seems to be processing too much and then everybody is staring at me for an explanation... It was about then that I had realized the unthinkable had happened, my own cock way harder than I had ever remembered it being. More panic more adrenaline more sex endorphins..the only place I could look was that really alien gear girded up in studs and black leather. Do older men wear these? Anyone I knew? 

Those moments staring at that evasion engine were impossibly pleasurable. I knew I had to get the hell out of there I was making a fool of myself, but as each second throbbed on, my willpower slowly drained out of me. My world was locked up and that cock was everything.

I felt disgusted the next day. Showered a lot. I felt sick, like seriously ill. I had no idea of what the man attached to it had looked like save repulsive. He had used a condom at least. I remember other  towels dropping too and seeing other erections swarming around me in flashes. None of it made sense. I relaxed into delusions that it was all a dream for short periods then it would suddenly be me, dick in the ass gay with lots of contributing witnesses to back it up. My life was over.

Never did ever figure out what girls found attractive in guys... Maybe some of the pretty boys. Didn't matter, I was never even remotely attracted in any way. Until I looked at another cock.

God has a very twisted sense of humor. That's more than fucked up.

I'm re-visiting the clerical nightmare that the amount of mail this site can generate at the moment. Gee wizz thanks.

To be honest I'm not sure what we are looking for. I guess we will know when we find it? How cliche'... It's a process. We seem to be a rather significantly  "intriguing" match sexually on paper but we don't actually have sex. Oddly it seems like the solution seems to be located somewhere in the vicinity of out there, possibly beneath the pale moon light.  That area so richly populated with offers from so many well intentioned, hormone augmented, ego maniacal, gurthy, juicy, veiny, ambrosia delivery systems. The undeniable "bad boy" of the reproductive cycle, innocently driven to satisfy some mystical, biological, evolutionary need ultimately becomes transcribed, in a jovial locker room jibe sort of way, to a notch on the ol' genetic bedpost. Wow my prose is certainly throbbing in a most embarrassingly purple sort of way. (Blush) Simply put we need some Yang, a Dominant entity, some sort of slithy toves to gyre and gimble in her wabe.

Our deepest fears and darkest desires are constantly fighting it out like the polar opposite charges of a secret battery that drives it all. I'm very aware of what irritates her and she me so we are constantly trying to compensate- to be proper, courteous and polite to each other. If passion is introduced, the battle ensues, and let me warn you brother it might just get bloody.  Solution? Stalemate. Blissful and compassionate mediocrity

She is as irritable as a bag full of rattlesnakes at the moment. Let me tell you she isn't easy to Dom on a good day. I can do it but it's a lot of work. She can beak leak her way out of anything. A gag and a blindfold should be available at all times. Why am I telling you all of this?

I think that in order to reach escape velocity, I need some serious help. I want to observe this creature under the experienced hand (a seriously gorgeous Domme with a impressively gurthy strap-on would even be nice)  of someone free of the interpersonal attachment that binds the two of us to the rock of equality. I want to offer her the trust and support she needs while a courageous and diabolical angel can introduce me to her tragically repressed inner slut. Ladies and gentlemen, If we can accomplish this feat!... I promise you can ALL have a slice. 

You may at this point be asking yourself... "What the HELL is this fucker on about? He's plum durn off his rocker!" Well, let me tell you, if you didn't follow me... Don't write. Save it for her coming out celebration, because I can garan-damn-tee you that she will understand it all too well, and frankly, she would destroy you!

She hasn't read any of this yet. This is actually all really a note to her. I plan to go down on her once she starts reading and leverage that ol' G spot during the highlights. Timing is everything when launching such a monumental campaign. Hopefully she will be in contact with you shortly with a blush of urgent desperation in her voice. Sorry for denying you any real attention in favor of this gratuitously exhibitionistic mind spill of a moment I'm having but... Lucky you. :)